Summary: The crew is behaving strangely as the fallout from Restid
Three continues. Voyager makes it home.
Warning: Lots and lots of sex, female on female, and my usual
infatuation with the f-word and other expletives. There is violence in this story and references to sexual and
physical abuse. There is a phallic
accessory in this story.
Disclaimer: All things Trek
are the property of Paramount, and no infringement on their rights is
intended. I make up a few characters
and take lots of liberties with others, but only for fun, not profit. I’m no Ferengi—in fact, I have tiny, little
ears and pretty decent teeth, and absolutely no business acumen, whatsoever.
Thanks: To Captain
Starbuck, as always, for beta-reading for me, and for putting up with me while
I write for days and weeks at a time.
She now fondly (or facetiously, I’m not sure which) refers to this
series as “Soap Trek”. In her defense,
I’m not sure which is worse—living with a peri-menopausal woman with raging
PMS, or living with a writer.
Unfortunately for the Captain, I’m both.
Home
By
Michelle Marquand
(PART TWO)
Kieran
could see the crowd around the grandstand, scanned it for familiar faces, and
spotted her parents, watching anxiously.
Kathryn and Seven were making their way through the line of Admirals and
Captains, shaking hands, being welcomed home.
Naomi walked ahead of the tall Commander, politely shaking the proffered
hands, smiling. Kieran kept one hand on
her shoulder, to reassure her. Naomi
had never seen a crowd like this in all her life, Kieran knew, and it would be
overwhelming. When they had traversed
the entire line of Starfleet Officials, the families were also lined up. Kathryn was swallowed up by Gretchen and
Phoebe Janeway, and they gathered in Seven and Naomi.
Kieran
lost contact with Naomi when her own parents made a grab for her, and without
warning, she started to cry. They held
and hugged each other for the longest time, no one speaking, everyone crying
and clinging. She introduced them to
their granddaughter, and Kieran’s dad had the baby in his arms in an
instant. Kieran was staggered by how
much the couple had aged, and with no small amount of remorse, she realized
that her disappearance had no doubt hastened that aging process. She introduced them to B’Elanna, who had no
family there to greet her, and took the Klingon under her arm, making sure
there was a comforting presence for the unnerving end of their journey. Naomi came to drag Kieran away to meet her
aunt and grandmother, and Kieran urged her parents over to meet everyone as
well.
Then the
long line of Voyager crew started coming down the path, and everyone moved back
to let them get to their families.
There were
speeches and medals and tears and champagne, and after more hours than anyone
could recall, the official ceremonies came to a close. The Janeways, Thompsons, and the unattached
senior staff, including Tuvok, Tom Paris and B’Elanna Torres, adjourned to the
Admiral’s club, where they were guests of Owen Paris for dinner. Stories flew, and wine flowed, and toasts
followed toasts followed toasts.
Starfleet had commandeered every hotel in San Francisco for the families
of the crew and the returning crewmembers, and they had done everything in
style. When the extravagant meal was
served, B’Elanna laughed aloud.
“What?”
Kathryn asked her, bringing her to the attention of everyone at the table.
“I--it’s
too stupid,” she fanned her face, giggling.
“I just unconsciously calculated the number of replicator rations this
meal would cost me,” she leaned against Tuvok, laughing at herself.
Everyone
smiled, echoing her mirth.
“Me too,
Lanna,” Kieran said, shaking her head.
“I swear, I was counting them,” she howled.
Most of
the people at the table shared small, intimate conversations, catching up on
news and making plans. Kieran’s parents
were telling Naomi all about their wetlands project work, and the young Ktarian
was mesmerized.
“Oh, and
guess what, Starfish,” Kieran’s dad called her by her nickname. “The manatee preserve is finally
finished. I can’t wait to show it to
you. Bessie is going to be so happy to
see you again,” he lay his hand on his daughter’s.
“Bessie’s
still alive?” Kieran was surprised.
“Wow, she must be the oldest manatee on the planet,” she grinned. “I can’t wait to see the old girl.”
“You can
do better than see her,” Kieran’s mother chimed in. “Now that the preserve is built, you can swim with her.”
Kieran’s
eyes lit up like a kid’s at Christmas.
“Truly?” she gasped.
“Absolutely,”
her dad agreed. “We’ve been waiting for
you to come home, so we could let you have the first official swim,” he smiled
so broadly his face ached. “Oh, and the
mangrove reclamation efforts around the reefs off the Keys are going very
well. We could certainly use an experienced
diver to help with the relocation of the seedlings. Are you up for some heavy work?” he was ready to rope her in at
the first opportunity.
“You bet,”
Kieran agreed immediately. “I haven’t
gotten to dive in anything but a holodeck for over a decade,” she couldn’t
wait.
Kathryn
had been listening to their conversation, and chimed in, “I’ve done my share of
diving, Mr. Thompson. If I can convince
my mother to let me leave Indiana, I could come and help, too. I’ve been spoiling to go for a good day’s
dive,” she recalled her exploits on Mars Planetia with Mark Johnson.
“We’d love
to have you, Captain,” he agreed. “It’s
hard work, but it’s rewarding.”
“Yes,”
Kieran’s mother put in, “we tried to talk Kieran out of the Academy when she
was in high school. We really needed
someone to take over our work, eventually, and she was already trained. We’re getting on in years, and I don’t know
how much longer we can carry on the legacy.
It’s important work, and I just don’t see how anything in space can compare
to the wonders of a coral reef, or the wetlands of the Everglades,” she
opined. “How can there be anything more
important than saving and preserving your own planet?”
It was an
old, tired argument. “Mom,” Kieran
warned. “Don’t start. I respect your work, and I support what you
and Daddy have done all these years, but you have to respect my work, too.”
Kieran’s
father lay a restraining hand on his wife’s.
“Not now,” he cautioned her.
Kieran’s
mother forced an insincere smile.
“Well, we’re just so glad to have you home, honey,” she said.
Naomi
watched their interaction, acutely interested in the dynamic. It became obvious to her that Kieran
Thompson was the classic overachiever, because she never had lived up to her
parent’s expectations. Kieran had told
Naomi that Cassidy Thompson was the one who would’ve taken over the family line
of research and work, if not for her premature death. Naomi realized that without intending to, Kieran’s parents had
invalidated Kieran’s choices, simply because it wasn’t what they needed Kieran
to do for them. She swallowed her anger
over the cutting remarks Kieran’s mother had made about saving the Earth, and
suddenly understood exactly why Kieran was always so hard on herself. Under the table, she lay her hand on
Kieran’s thigh, trying to lend support and reassurance to her lover.
Naomi
leaned over and whispered in Kieran’s ear “You should tell them about the
Enterprise.”
Kieran
smiled and shook her head, ignoring the blatant suggestion to one-up her
parents. She kissed Naomi softly, and
whispered back “It’s a game you can’t win with them. I know. I’ve been playing
it 33 years. The only way to win is to
refuse to play at all.”
If Kieran
was hurt, she hid it well, and Naomi’s heart ached as the happy-go-lucky
Commander made jokes with Kathryn and Seven, entertained Phoebe and Gretchen
and tried to steer clear of any arguments with her family.
Maybe home
wasn’t all it was purported to be, after all, Naomi decided.
__________________
When the
group said goodnight, Kieran and Naomi walked B’Elanna, Katie, and Kieran’s
parents to their respective hotel rooms in the Intergalactic Suites.
Kieran
carried Katie for B’Elanna, and she helped get the toddler settled inside while
the Thompsons and Naomi waited in the hall.
“BangwIj,”
Kieran hugged B’Elanna tightly, “Are you sure you don’t want me to take Katie?”
B’Elanna
clung to her momentarily, feeling lonely.
“No. You spend time with your
family. My cousin will be here
tomorrow, and I could use the company while Noah is with his folks. Of course, he’ll be back for your
ceremony. Okay?”
“Okay,
sweetie. But if you need anything,” she
kissed B’Elanna’s forehead.
“I know
where to find you, honey,” she assured her ex-wife. “I’ll probably catch up with you tomorrow,” she smiled. She looked up at her former spouse, eyes
tearing. “Somehow, I always thought
we’d be sharing this moment, coming home with Katie to your family,” she
admitted sadly.
Kieran
hugged her close. “Oh, Lanna, I’m so
sorry,” she murmured. “You’re always
welcome. You know no matter where I am,
I’ll always love you, and care what happens to you. Don’t doubt that. And if
you need anything at all, ask.”
B’Elanna
felt her heart clutch in her chest, her body surrounded by the warmth and
loving arms of the woman she let get away.
“I will, Benal,” she said softly.
Back out
in the hallway, Naomi talked quietly with Kieran’s parents, waiting for the
tall Commander to emerge. Kieran came
back looking so subdued, Naomi came over to take her hands.
“Honey,
what’s wrong? Is B’Elanna okay?” Naomi demanded.
Kieran
nodded. “She’s just at loose ends, like
we all are, I imagine. It’s really
over, Na. We’re home. The world just got a whole lot bigger, you
know? I have a child with someone who
could end up on the other side of the quadrant, serving on a different
ship. I guess I never really thought
about it, when we divorced,” she explained, twining her fingers with Naomi’s
and leaning against the wall. “I thought we’d spend Katie’s childhood on
Voyager.”
Kieran’s
dad joined them. “Honey, you’ll see her
all the time,” he assured his only daughter.
“B’Elanna will work it out with you.
There doesn’t seem to be any conflict between you.”
“No, Dad,
there’s no conflict. It’s just
hard. You know, you’re a parent,”
Kieran reminded him.
He hugged
her, closing his eyes. “That, I
am. And I am so glad you’re safe,
honey.”
_______________
Kieran lay
curled around Naomi, feeling strange to be back on Earth, unable to sleep. She untangled herself, careful not to awaken
her partner, and went to the balcony to stare out at the lights of San
Francisco. She slipped out the French
doors, letting the late spring breeze chill her with a bracing clap of ocean
air. She leaned on the railing, looking
up at the stars. They had been out
there, years and years and years, and she had never really understood what it
would mean to be home. She had spent a
third of her life on Voyager. Everyone
she got to see every day, the people who were her extended family, all would
scatter and blow away to the four corners of the quadrant.
Enterprise, she thought to herself. They want me back. Kathryn would die if I left her and took Naomi with me. But I
have all the time in the world to think about that. Debriefings should last most of the day, and then there’s the
press. And that damned ceremony to
dedicate the court. And then the rest
of our lives begin.
Naomi
Wildman slithered out of bed, pulling a robe around her. Kieran had left the balcony doors ajar, and
the night air had her shivering.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” she joined Kieran in the cold breeze. “Can’t you sleep?”
Kieran
drew her into warm arms. “Not
really. I’m just so--unsettled,
Na. There’s a lot to think about. So many decisions to make. I feel adrift in it all. Do you realize, we won’t wake up every
morning and see Neelix in the corridor, or hear the Doctor singing in sickbay,
we won’t count rations or jealously guard our holodeck time? Our insular little world of Voyager is
gone,” she said sadly. “I know we have
to move on, and it’s good to embrace change, but my heart aches at the thought
of not seeing Harry Kim every day, not being in the physical environment where
I fell in love with you, parting company with our friends and colleagues. Even as badly as we were treated since Qian,
I love those people, and it hurts so much to be saying goodbye.”
“I know,”
Naomi agreed. “I’ve lived on Voyager my
whole life. I’ve never been away from
the Moms, or Neelix, or Geejay since she was born. All the new challenges, all the big, frightening world, is
waiting to test us. I’m overwhelmed by
it. I’m so glad I have you to help me
through it,” she hugged Kieran tightly.
“We’ll get through it together, honey.
I promise. I’ll be your rock,
and you can be mine.”
Kieran
held to her with all her strength. “I
love you, Naomi Wildman. Always, and
only you.”
Naomi
gazed up at her through long lashes. “I
love you too, Kieran. And I’m so glad I
got to meet your parents. It’s giving
me new insight into you. Gran invited
them to the farm, so we can all stay together a bit longer. She doesn’t want me to run off to Florida
with you, just yet, and she figures if she can convince them to visit Indiana,
you and I will be under her roof a lot longer.”
Kieran
grinned. “I love your grandma,” she
kissed Naomi’s hair. “She’s nothing
like I expected.”
“I know,
me either,” Naomi agreed. “I mean, I’ve
corresponded with her and seen video, but she’s just not the person I would
have imagined raising K-Mom. She is so
much more down to earth, more at ease than Kathryn.”
Kieran
nodded in agreement. “Kathryn should try to adopt some of her mother’s
inner-calm. Phoebe sure seems to have
it in abundance. She’s a lovely woman,
don’t you think?”
“Yes, but
luckily, she didn’t stand so long in the pretty line that she missed out on the
brains, either,” Naomi joked. “I can’t
wait to see her paintings.”
“Are you
going to play for them?” Kieran wanted to know. “Will you play for my folks?”
“Of course
I will, but we have to figure out where we’re going to live, first. We have two weeks to get our personal
effects off the ship, including my piano and my schelanatta. Have you got any ideas?”
Kieran
snuggled into her. “I haven’t even
thought about it. I feel bad that we
haven’t really had a chance to plan anything definite. This has been a whirlwind, hasn’t it?” she
peered down into Naomi’s incredible eyes.
“It has,”
Naomi agreed, stretching up to kiss her.
“Do you realize we haven’t made love since the Traveler and Wesley
showed up in the Delta Quadrant?”
Kieran’s
eyes widened. “We haven’t? Truly?”
Naomi
shook her head. “Honest. We’ve never gone this long before,” she
pointed out. “Are you still attracted
to me?” she smiled, already knowing the answer.
“God,
yes,” Kieran assured her, kissing her deeply.
“I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I am constantly amazed by how much I respond
to just looking at you,” she enthused.
“Oh, good
answer,” Naomi approved. “But why don’t
you show me, instead of telling me?” she waggled her eyebrows.
“That may
be the best idea you’ve had since we hit the Alpha Quadrant,” Kieran decided,
turning them back toward their room.
___________________
Kathryn Janeway awoke with a sinking feeling. There was no throb of warp engines to lull her back to sleep, no pressing agenda, no ship to run. Her spouse of seven years slept peacefully beside her, oblivious to the torment of the captain.
Nothing about being on Earth felt right, anymore, not the way she remembered it. The gravity was all wrong, the lighting was too dim, the air wasn't filtered and recycled, and there was no order to anything.
Kathryn eased her legs over the side of the bed, needing to feel something beneath her feet, even if it wasn't the comforting vibration of deck plating. She paced the hotel room, stewing over the debriefing that was scheduled for the day. By God, they had better not question her decisions. Any one of them in her shoes wouldn't have survived more than a few months. But she had gotten them through nearly thirteen years without help from home, without much in the way of guidance or consolation or even hope.
“Kathryn?” Seven rolled over to find her wife wearing out the carpet. “What's wrong?”
“Everything,” Kathryn growled. “This planet, these debriefings, everything. I just know Starfleet is going to rip my command from stem to stern, Seven. They should be throwing me a God damned parade, but instead, they're going to lambaste me.”
“Darling,” Seven said sympathetically, “they are throwing you a parade.”
“Well, they ought to let it go at that then,” she insisted.
“I have an idea,” Seven tried to placate her. “Let me go wake up Kieran and Naomi, and we can have breakfast together. Watch the sunrise. Start our new lives on a positive note.”
Kathryn scowled contemptuously at her wife. “Breakfast.” Yeah, that'll fix everything.
Seven scrambled to get dressed, before Kathryn could work her way into a complete tirade. She had learned how to read the signs and the symptoms, and Kathryn had been tenuously holding it together since the Traveler and Wesley Crusher arrived in the Delta Quadrant. She was well overdue for a good tantrum, and Seven didn't want to be alone with her when it hit this time.
___________________
Kieran
Thompson awoke early, unaccustomed to natural light coming into a room of a
morning. She snuggled into her lover,
nuzzling her hair gently with lips still aromatic with Naomi’s intimate scent. “Hey,” she whispered. “Have you ever seen a real sunrise, not a
simulated one?” she asked drowsily.
Naomi
smiled, holding Kieran’s arms around her.
“No, I never have. Am I about
to?” she chuckled, realizing sleep was a lost commodity this morning.
“If you
want to. I told you I want to show you
everything about Earth. Sunrise is one
of the prettiest things to watch, although it’s prettier on the East
Coast. Here in San Fran, you have to
watch the hills to the East. I can
order room service and we can have breakfast on the balcony, and watch it together.”
“I’ve got
a better idea,” Naomi hugged Kieran’s arms.
“Why don’t we get dressed and go to the restaurant that faces the East
side of the building. We’re on the bay
side--limited view, at best,” she reasoned.
“I love
you,” Kieran breathed. “That’s a great
idea. And thank you for last
night. I was finally able to sleep,”
she kissed Naomi’s cheek. “Tell you
what. Let’s go eat and watch the
sunrise, and then we can take our showers, and I’ll wash every delectable inch
of you while you watch that spectacle,” she ran her hands over Naomi’s naked
breasts, loving the silken feel of the flesh against her palms.
“If you
keep touching me like that, the plan is going to be we stay here and make love
again,” she warned.
Kieran
touched her more purposefully. “And
that would be bad why?”
“God,” she
gasped, arching into Kieran’s hands.
“It would be wonderful,” she decided.
Kieran
turned her over in muscular arms, kissing her passionately, letting Naomi
tangle her fingers in the short strands of Kieran’s hair. She moved over her, pressing the smaller
woman’s legs apart with her hips, rubbing against her suggestively.
Naomi
wrapped her legs around Kieran’s waist, moving against her in counter rhythm,
already breathing heavily.
A loud
knock at the door stopped them.
“Commander,”
Seven of Nine called through the door.
“Are you awake?”
Naomi
mouthed the words “Don’t answer her,” but it was too late.
“Hold on
Seven, I’m not dressed,” Kieran replied, grabbing for a robe. She opened the door. “We just woke up. Is everything okay?”
“Fine,”
Seven smiled warmly. “I missed you
both, that’s all. Would you like to
have breakfast and watch the sunrise?
Kathryn and I thought it would be nice if just the four of us could
spend some time together, before things get hectic again.”
“Let me
ask Naomi, okay?”
“It’s
fine,” Naomi called out from the muffling blankets she had hidden under.
“We’ll
meet you in a few minutes, your Borgness,” Kieran smiled at her.
__________________
By the
time Naomi and Kieran had to report for debriefing, Kieran realized she was
feeling a lot better about things. She
didn’t know if making love with Naomi had centered her again, or if she was
adjusting better to the situation, or exactly why she felt better, but she
did.
They walked
hand in hand up the sidewalks of Starfleet Headquarters to the Admin
building. “I probably won’t see you
until late this afternoon,” Kieran advised her. “Are you okay?”
“I’ll be
fine. After all, I’m not commissioned,
how much can they really ask me?” Naomi said lightly. “I’ll keep your family entertained, if you’re held late.”
Kieran
kissed her passionately, right in front of the building, not caring who
saw. “I love you, Naomi. I’ll be thinking about you the whole day.”
The
strawberry blonde Ktarian smiled. “I
love you, too. See you later.”
__________________
Naomi was
right about her own debriefing. Because
she was not technically part of Starfleet, having only a field commission, the
meeting she attended was for the general crew, and they dismissed them with a
perfunctory interview. She decided,
since it was only 0900 hours, that a walk through the Academy Campus was in
order. She wanted to pick up a course catalogue,
to peruse the curriculum and see if she might be cadet material. She wandered along the neatly manicured
lawns and gardens, and as soon as she crossed from the grounds of Headquarters
onto the actual campus, the uniforms of the people bustling about changed. All species of young people were out and
about, and it dawned on her that she had never seen so many kids in one
place. She watched them playing ball,
studying beneath trees, walking hand in hand, listening to music. An occasional civilian walked the grounds,
but mostly, the cadets were out in force.
She realized how conspicuous her uniform with the mustard placket must
look. It was twelve years out of
current style, for starters, and no one wore colored panels on the uniforms
anymore. The order of the day was a
black jumpsuit, with gray shoulder pads, and a mock turtle neck the color of
your department. Cadets wore black and
gray. Naomi felt like a relic, but
walked on, amid stares and whispers.
She caught
snippets of the comments. “She must be
from Voyager,” the voices said, “look at her uniform.”
She spotted
an equally archaic uniform ahead of her on the trail, and jogged to catch
him. “Icheb, wait up,” she called
out. She was out of breath by the time
she reached him, still stuffed from breakfast.
“Naomi,”
he grabbed and hugged her. “Isn’t this
planet the strangest place you’ve ever seen?” he smiled. “I’d rather go back to Voyager,” he decided
already.
“Where did
you stay last night? I sort of lost
track of you and Jamari and Tessie, after we hit the Alpha Quadrant. What are you planning to do?”
He took
her arm, and they walked companionably along.
“At the Intergalactic Suites. I
am going to apply to the Academy, but until I know if I am accepted or not, I
have a fellowship of study at the National Astrometrics Consortium. They are the leading experts on astral
phenomena, and they think my research aboard Voyager is worthy of their further
inquiry. Seven has agreed to assist
their research, once she comes back from Indiana, as well. We collected so much data from the Delta
Quadrant, they’ll need years to catalogue it all,” he reported importantly.
“That’s
great, Icheb,” Naomi congratulated him.
“I know you’ll get into the Academy.”
He checked
a PADD he carried with him, which was programmed to give the carrier a tour of
the campus. “This is the propulsion
studies quadrangle,” he announced, reading the data that scrolled by. “Up ahead is the recreation center.”
Naomi
looked at the map on the PADD. “What’s
this big domed building?”
“That
would be the sports arena,” he checked the legend of the map.
Naomi’s
pulse quickened. “Did you know there’s
a statue of Kieran at the arena?” she asked him, trying to hide her pride.
“No,” he
laughed, seeing how anxious she was.
“Let’s go see it,” he snatched her hand and they ran all the way.
“Wow, look
at the size of it,” he gasped, out of breath.
“It really looks like her, too,” he decided, meandering around the
perimeter of the monstrosity.
“There’s
an inscription,” Naomi murmured, leaning down to read it. “Kieran K. Thompson, International Collegiate
Athlete of the year, Valedictorian, Class of 2369. Missing in Action, USS Voyager, 2371,” she recited.
Naomi
smiled at the likeness of her fiancée.
“What do you suppose the K. stands for?” she wondered. “Kieran never told me she has a middle name.”
Icheb
shrugged. “I don’t know. You’re going to marry her, shouldn’t you
know these things?” he asked, irritated suddenly.
Naomi took
a step back. “Why are you upset with me?” she asked, startled.
He let his
temper subside, running his hand through the thick curls of his soft brown
hair. “You know perfectly well, Naomi,”
he insisted.
She
softened her tone, taking his hands. “I
honestly don’t,” she tried to persuade him.
He studied
her face, and realized she was sincere.
“It’s just—I thought—someday—you and I would—be together,” he
admitted. “And now you’re engaged to
Kieran.”
Her brow
furrowed slightly, face piteous. “I
didn’t realize,” she floundered over the words. “I thought we settled that a long time ago,” she explained. “Did I ever do anything to make you think I
saw a future with you?” she asked gently, knowing she had tried to make herself
crystal clear to the young man.
He studied
his feet, eyes downcast. “No. It was always Kieran for you. I knew that, I guess. But I hoped—” he looked up, meeting her
gaze. “Well, I guess it doesn’t matter
what I hoped.”
“I’m
sorry, Icheb,” Naomi said softly. “I
didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. And
I never meant to rub Kieran in your face.
I just wanted to see the statue,” she said apologetically.
“Well, I’m
going to be late for my appointment.
You should stay as long as you like,” he dipped his head. “Give my best to Commander Thompson.”
“I will,”
Naomi agreed. She watched him rush
away, then turned back to the bronze behemoth towering over her. “She is going to crawl in a hole and die
when she sees this,” she snickered. She
laughed wickedly. “I think a trip to
the gift shop is in order,” she spotted the campus bookstore across the plaza,
with a sign that said “Academy Gifts and Souvenirs”.
She
wandered the aisles until she found exactly what she had been looking for. A replica of the Kieran Thompson statue,
only six inches high. “Perfect,” she
muttered. She looked around
surreptitiously, not certain how purchases were handled on Earth.
A clerk
noticed her uniform, and discerned the problem. “May I help you?” she asked pleasantly.
“I don’t
know,” Naomi lowered her voice. “I want to buy this. But I don’t know what currency is used on Earth,” she explained
sheepishly.
The clerk
smiled. “You’re from Voyager, aren’t
you?”
Naomi
nodded. “I was born on the ship. I’ve never been to Earth, and nobody told me
anything about money, or how it works here.”
“Starfleet
gives you an account, and you’re credited for hours of service, with bonuses
for numbers of tours of duty, commendations, and the like. Your account number is your Starfleet ID
number.”
“Oh,”
Naomi smiled broadly. “That’s easy
enough. How do I know if I have any
credit in my account?”
“You can
check this ATM,” the clerk assisted her.
“Put in your ID number here, and then select your options.”
Naomi
thought it was an amusing game, and she happily punched in numbers. “Is that my balance?”
The clerk
nearly fell over. “Good lord,” she
breathed. “You’re rich!” she exclaimed.
“I
am? Is this a lot of credit?” Naomi had
no concept of money.
“Here,”
the clerk punched the keys. “This is
your statement of account. You’ve got
deposits and credits, and no withdrawals.
I guess that’s what happens when your ship gets lost. Look at the size of that one,” she
whistled. “Who is Samantha Wildman--is
that you?”
Naomi
swallowed hard. “She was my mother,”
she replied, not understanding. “That
must be how much they paid me when she died,” she realized.
The clerk
looked closer. It was a pension lump
sum. “That’s what it is, all right,”
she agreed. “A lump sum cash settlement
on her life insurance. You could retire
from Starfleet today, and live like a queen anywhere in the Quadrant. That money has been earning interest for
almost seven years.”
“So I can
afford this?” she held up the statuette.
The clerk
threw back her head and laughed. “You
could afford anything in the store, or the whole store, for that matter,” she
assured the Ktarian. “Look around, make
sure you didn’t miss something you’ll want later.”
Naomi
smiled mischievously. She selected four
more statuettes, two sweatshirts for herself, two for Kieran, and a Starfleet
Academy catalogue on PADD. She also
found a small selection of memorabilia from the Academy’s championship team
that Kieran had played on. There was a
photo of the team, with Kieran looking to be about 12 years old, and a photo of
her accepting her Athlete of the Year Award.
Naomi took one of each.
The clerk
looked over her shoulder. “Big fan of
KT?” she smiled.
“I’d
say. We’re engaged,” she smiled
proudly.
The
clerk’s face fell. “You’re joking.”
Naomi held
out her hand, fingers splayed, to show the engagement ring she wore. “Nope.
She’s my fiancée, all right.”
“Do you
think—you could bring her by? I’d love
to meet her. She’s just so—amazing,”
the clerk got dreamy eyed.
Naomi
quirked an eyebrow. “I’ll see if I can
talk her into it.”
“If she’d
be willing to sign autographs, I could guarantee her a tidy sum for her
efforts,” the clerk continued. “I can
sell anything to these kids if her face is on it, or her name.”
“I’ll tell
her. Thanks for your help,” she let the
clerk total her purchases and bag them.
She walked out of the store, completely bewildered. Kieran’s signature was worth money?
________________
Naomi
Wildman met her grandmother, her aunt, and Kieran’s parents for lunch at a
restaurant known as the Time Warp. They
were already seated when Naomi arrived, looking flushed with excitement. She kissed everyone around the table in
greeting, and seated herself next to her grandmother.
“What’s in
the bag?” Gretchen asked, poking her nose in Naomi’s business.
“You won’t
believe what I found,” she breathed, pulling out one of the statuettes.
Kieran’s
mother smiled. “We have one of those on
our fireplace mantle at home,” she admitted.
“Kieran is going to hate that memorial,” she laughed.
“I know,”
Naomi agreed. “I’m going to make sure
we have one in every room, just to watch her roll her eyes whenever she sees
one,” she chuckled.
Phoebe
studied the small bronzed figure. “This
is Kieran?”
“Yeah,
when she played basketball for the Academy,” Kieran’s dad explained. “That’s a replica of the nine foot statue in
front of the sports arena,” he said proudly.
“We tried to convince her to go pro, after college, but she wanted to go
to outer space,” he stirred his coffee.
“If she had only listened, she’d have never been taken away from us.”
Naomi
swallowed her instant reaction, which was to point out that she’d have never
met Kieran, had Kieran stayed on Earth.
She could see the pain in Kieran’s father’s eyes.
Kieran’s
mother chimed in. “Our other daughter,
Cassidy, died when Kieran was at the Academy.
When Kieran was MIA, it was just--well, I don’t think we’ll ever be the
same,” she kept a stern hold on her emotions, testing the temperature of her
own drink. “But, Gerry, she’s home
now,” Kieran’s mother said. “We have to
be grateful for that, and not begrudge her the experiences she’s had. She’s so happy--can’t you tell?”
Kieran
approached as they talked, overhearing what her mother was saying. “Yeah, Daddy,” she bent low to kiss his
cheek. “I’m very happy. I’m sorry if you were worried about me, but
I learned so much, out there. And I met
the love of my life,” she switched sides of his chair to kiss Naomi’s cheek
too. “Hi, sweetie. How was your morn--what the hell is that?”
she demanded, snatching the statuette.
Naomi
smiled sweetly. “Just a souvenir I
picked up on campus. The clerk at the
bookstore wants to have your babies,” she added sarcastically.
Kieran
moved a chair between Naomi and her father.
“Excuse me?”
“The clerk
thinks you’re a really, really good idea,” Naomi taunted her.
“Yeah? Well, I’m your really, really good
idea. Let’s keep it that way, okay?”
she grinned. “How did you glean that
this clerk--er--thinks I’m a good idea?” she asked discreetly, though
ordinarily she would be crude about it.
Naomi took
back the statuette, putting it in her shopping bag. “She practically begged me to bring you by for an introduction.”
“And you
said?” Kieran stole a sip of Naomi’s water.
“I told
her I’d convey the request. She wants
you to sign autographs so she can sell lots of stuff to the cadets, I think she
said. People will pay money for your signature?”
Kieran
groaned, holding her head. “They used
to. I sort of thought the trend
would’ve died, by now,” she groused.
The waiter
came by to take their orders, and held her PADD at the ready. She glanced around the table. “What’ll you have?” she asked. Everyone recited their orders, but when her
gaze landed on Kieran, she gasped. “Oh
my God,” she clapped her hand over her mouth.
“Mikey, get over here,” she shouted to the man at the register.
Her
husband rushed over, thinking there was a complaint about the food or
service. “What seems to be the--Oh my
God,” his jaw dropped. “Aren’t you
Kieran Thompson?” he asked, his voice almost inaudible.
Kieran
blushed. “Yes, Sir, I am.”
“Do you
remember me?” he asked hopefully. “Mike
Sorvino?”
Kieran
racked her brain, but came up blank.
“I’m sorry, no I don’t.” She
looked at him a long time, and it finally clicked in her brain. “Wait--yes I do. You’re Toni’s dad, right?”
“Right,”
he smiled warmly. “And she made it, by
the way,” he added.
“Oh,
that’s great, Mike,” Kieran shook his hand.
“I know she was really sick when I last saw her, and I always wondered
if she pulled through,” she squeezed his hand.
“She’s an
Ensign, in fact, on the Titan,” he reported proudly. “And you folks are getting lunch on me. It was a nice thing you did, and Toni never
forgot it,” he told Kieran. “She needed
a boost and you were it. Molly and I
can never thank you enough. Toni will
be so excited to hear you came to our restaurant,” he hugged his wife. His eyes widened. “These must be your folks,” he reached for Mr. Thompson’s
hand. “I didn’t recognize you, it’s
been so long ago.”
Gerry
Thompson shook the man’s hand, but couldn’t recall if he knew him.
“Well,
I’ll get your orders. Anything you
want, KT, you just ask. I’ll fix you
up,” he promised. “Before you go, would
you mind posing for a photo with me?
We’ll put it right by the autographed holoimage of Captain Kirk,” he
said enthusiastically.
“I’d be
glad to,” Kieran lied. “As soon as
we’ve finished lunch. And Mike?”
He nodded
eagerly.
“I’m
friends with the Captain of the Titan.
I’m probably going to visit him before he leaves orbit. If you like, I’ll stop in and say hi to
Toni.”
“It would make her year,” he beamed at the former sports star. “I’ll get your orders going,” he repeated,
walking away with his wife. “Do you
believe that?” he asked her.
Naomi sat
there staring at her fiancée. “What was
that all about?”
Kieran’s
dad reached over his daughter and took Naomi’s hand. “You’d better get used to it, Naomi. Everywhere Kieran goes, people recognize her, and you’re not
going to have much privacy. It can be
intimidating,” he said sympathetically.
Kieran
decided to explain the whole thing to her lover. “I got a letter from this junior high school kid, here in San
Francisco, who was a basketball player.
She had the same disease that my sister Cassidy died of,” Kieran
recited. “She told me in the letter how
the Make a Wish Foundation was giving her her last wish, which was to go to Mars
Planetia and see the shipyards. She
told me in the letter, that a close second for her wish was to meet me. So I took a bunch of stuff from the team--a
basketball everyone signed, one of my game-worn jerseys, my high-tops--you
know, memorabilia junk, and I went to see her in the hospital. I went with her
and her family to Mars Planetia, spent the day with her--man, she was really,
really frail and sick, and I just assumed she died after that. But I guess she got lucky.”
Naomi’s
heart melted. “You did that for a
stranger?”
Kieran
shrugged. “It was the least I could do,
Na. She was dying.”
Naomi was
impressed. “Wow. Her second to last wish was to meet you,”
she breathed.
Kieran
rested her chin in her hand. “I just
don’t get it, either,” she complained.
“It was one championship, that’s all.
It’s not like I invented the warp drive, or anything important.”
Naomi
laughed at her chagrin. “Well,
apparently, it was important to a lot of people, and so are you. Not the least of whom is me,” she kissed
Kieran’s hand.
“The
solution to keeping our privacy is that we have to get as far away from campus
as possible, and then I can just blend in,” she said apologetically. “I promise, it won’t be too terrible,” she
tried to sound sincere.
Naomi
nodded facetiously. “Oh yeah, you’re
gonna be able to blend in. You’re
taller than anyone in this restaurant,” she teased. “What makes you think you can ever disappear into the
woodwork?”
“I can
hope,” Kieran said, trying to find another glass of water.
__________________
Debriefings
recessed for a two hour period in the afternoon, and Admiral Owen Paris made a
point of meeting Kathryn and Seven to see how they were holding up.
“You don’t
look any worse for the wear,” he noted as he approached the two women, who were
standing in the hallway of the Admin building, looking fairly lost. “I’m buying lunch. How did the sessions go?”
Kathryn
scowled. “I’m ready to warp right back
to the Delta Quadrant. If Seven and I
weren’t married, I’m sure Starfleet Medical would have dissected her by now,”
she said tersely.
Paris’
eyebrows shot up. “That bad?”
Seven
nodded. “They seem to be much more
interested in me than in the mission we were on for the past twelve years. It is—unnerving,” she trembled slightly.
Owen
Paris’ features hardened. “I’ll say
something to them. This is not supposed
to be an interrogation,” he growled.
“You are a Federation citizen, and should be accorded due respect as
such.”
“They act
as if they think she might be a spy, some sort of plant for the Borg,” Kathryn
bit her words off.
“Well,
I’ll do what I can, Kathryn, I promise,” he squeezed her arm. “I think a brisk walk around the grounds and
then lunch, if that suits you, ladies?”
Seven
nodded eagerly. “Fresh air would be nice.
Now that we’re planet side, I can’t seem to get enough oxygen in my
system. I feel so sluggish.”
Kathryn
nodded. “Me, too. But then Voyager had a slightly higher
oxygen content in its canned atmosphere than Earth does. A walk would help clear my thoughts,” she
took Seven’s hand and fell into step with Admiral Paris.
“Seven,
have you seen any of the grounds?” Owen asked, his balding head gleaming as
they walked into the afternoon sunlight.
He was a large man with large features, including one of the most
bulbous noses Seven had ever seen.
“Only what
we saw on the walk from the hotel.
Naomi is planning to attend the Academy. I would like very much to see the facilities,” she sounded
positively maternal.
Owen
smiled warmly. “Well, a thorough tour
is beyond the time we have, but a quick walk through campus shouldn’t make us
too late to have time for lunch before you’re back in debriefings,” he
agreed. “Headquarters and the Academy
are adjacent to one another, and you’ll know you’re on campus because the
students wear different uniforms.”
Seven
nodded. “The grounds of Starfleet
Command are lovely, Admiral,” she took his arm, smiling at him. He was charmed.
They
walked companionably through the Academy campus, with the Admiral pointing out
the various buildings and landmarks.
Kathryn realized she had not kept up with any of the events or
milestones of the Academy since she had graduated, and the campus looked a good
bit different than she remembered it.
“Oh,
you’ll get a kick out of this,” Paris pointed to a large bronze statue in front
of the sports arena. “I assume Kieran
told you about it,” he laughed.
Seven
dropped his arm and stood staring, open-mouthed, at a nine-foot statue of
Kieran Thompson, sculpted in her basketball uniform, hand extended, palming a
basketball.
Kathryn’s
eyes darkened. “She never told us
anything,” she muttered, pacing the perimeter of the memorial.
Seven
recovered her voice momentarily. “Why
is Kieran’s likeness displayed in this manner?” she thought of the monument on
the planet where the Hirogen had attacked their away team.
Owen
smiled faintly. “Her teammates and the
cadets who were here when Voyager disappeared wanted to pay tribute to
her. When she vanished with your ship,
the mood on campus was very solemn.”
“She never
mentioned any statue,” Kathryn repeated.
“Did she
tell you that the week before she joined your crew, the Academy retired her
jersey?” he asked, eyes twinkling.
“Retired
her jersey?” Seven didn’t understand.
“When an
athlete makes contributions to their sport that are unprecedented, their team
retires their jersey in homage. That
means no other Starfleet athlete can ever wear Kieran’s number, number five, on
their uniform again, because it is retired to her, exclusively. The jersey is hung in the arena, so that all
the spectators can see that the athlete has been honored in this way,” he
explained. “Kieran’s is the only jersey
ever retired in the history of the Academy,” he added. “You can see it at the court dedication
ceremony on Thursday. It will be up in
the rafters of the arena.”
Seven was
puzzled. “Kathryn, if Kieran was this
well known to the students and to Starfleet in general, how did you not know
who she was when she joined your crew?
You told me she slipped through the cracks unnoticed until B'Elanna
introduced you to her.”
Kathryn
bristled. “I don’t personally greet
every crewmember who comes aboard my ship, Seven, and within two days of the
crew boarding, I was too busy to run the welcome wagon. That’s the first officer’s purview, not the
captain’s. And frankly, after I left
the Academy, I didn’t keep up with sports heroes. I have no interest in the extra-curricular activities of my crew—only
their job performance,” she finished with irritation. “And even after I met Kieran personally, I didn’t recognize her
or know anything about her ersatz fame,” she practically hissed the words. She could see from Seven’s expression she
was impressed by the statue, and it rankled in her. “I was furious with Kieran for hiding in the shadows of my ship,
instead of coming forward and volunteering her services as Ship’s Counselor.”
Owen Paris
chuckled softly. “There’s no way Kieran
would have ever approached you, Kathryn.
It’s not in her nature to be a shameless self-promoter, just as she
never told you about her jersey being retired.
She’s not one to rest on her laurels, or brag about them.”
“Honestly,
Admiral, I never even knew she played basketball for the Academy, until she
disappeared in a spatial rift, and B'Elanna told us about all the awards she
had won and the championship. I was
stunned that Kieran had never said a word about it. All she had ever told us was that she played softball in the
ship’s league,” Kathryn related. “If I hadn’t read her service record in a fit
of curiosity, I’d have never known she studied under Deanna Troi, or served on
Enterprise. Chakotay missed her in the
stack of PADDs, I guess.”
Owen
shrugged. “Well, if you’re done
admiring her likeness,” he teased Seven, “we can move on to the rest of the
campus.”
Seven took
one last look at the image of her friend, startled by how much it still looked
like her. “Kathryn,” she said sternly
to her wife, “I want you to promise me you will not tease Kieran about this. You know she is going to hate this tribute
with a passion.”
Kathryn
smirked. “I won’t promise anything of
the sort. In fact, I intend to rub her
nose in it at every turn. I’m sure
Naomi will, too.”
__________________
Kathryn and Seven were in debriefings all day, and when dinnertime came, they still weren’t back. The Janeways, Thompsons, Naomi Wildman, and the Torreses met for dinner at the Intergalactic Suites Grand Dining Room, and spent the evening getting to know each other better. Half way through the meal, a group of very tall women entered the dining room, scanned the crowd, and spotting Kieran, made a beeline for her table.
“Oh my
God,” Kieran jumped up and ran toward the tangle of arms and legs that enfolded
her.
“KT!” she
heard one of them say. “Honey, we were so worried about you,” someone else
squeezed her and muttered. “We thought
you were dead,” another woman murmured.
The team
was reunited, and they stood there hugging and crying and laughing all at once.
“What are
you guys doing here?” Kieran demanded.
“Starfleet
brought us for your ceremony. We had to
come a couple of days early to practice,” Stephanie Moss explained.
“Practice?”
Kieran was puzzled. “For what?”
Jenny
Lincoln kissed Kieran’s cheek. “The
exhibition game, dufus. The season is
over—the semester is almost over.
They’re making us play the current Academy team in an exhibition game so
they can dedicate the court to you. You
can’t very well dedicate the court without a game, now, can you?”
Kieran
shook her head. “We’re going to play
together again?”
“Yep,”
Sarah Riley nodded. “You’d better be in
shape, girlfriend. Can you still slam
the jammas?”
Kieran
shrugged. “I could as of a week ago,”
she laughed. “When can we practice?”
“The gym
is all ours, tonight, and tomorrow. The
ceremony is tomorrow—they did tell you that much, didn’t they?” Karen Weaver
demanded, ruffling Kieran’s hair.
“Yeah, I
knew about the ceremony, but nobody told me you guys were coming,” she wiped at
her eyes. “Man, it’s great to see you
all again. What the hell have you been
up to?” she glanced at her dinner party, realized she should go back and excuse
herself, and smiled at her teammates.
“Guys, listen up. I gotta
explain to my family and my fiancée why I’m about to disappear for the
night. Do you mind if my lover and my
daughter come along to watch us practice?”
“Daughter?”
Stephanie grabbed her shoulders. “You
have a kid?”
Kieran
grinned, nodding. “Want to meet her?”
Kieran led
the group over to her table, and introductions were exchanged all around. “Listen, the girls and I have to practice for
a game, so I’m going to leave you all to your dinner and scare up some sweats
and high-tops,” she apologized.
Naomi
looked up expectantly. “A word with
you, please?” she asked, leaving the table. “I bought you two new sweatshirts,”
she advised her lover as they talked privately, “and they’re in my
suitcase. Your high-tops are in the big
closet, and don’t forget, your gym shorts and socks are in your duffel bag.”
“Do you
want to come watch? Maybe bring Katie
along?”
Naomi
smiled. “I’d love that, if I won’t be
intruding on your reunion. Let me just
get our food to go.”
Kieran
kissed her forehead. “I’m going to get
changed and I’ll be right back down to get you both, then,” she promised. “Thank you for the sweatshirts, honey,” she
gazed fondly into Naomi’s eyes. “That
was so thoughtful of you.”
Naomi
gazed right back at her. “I love
you. And I love to dress you almost as
much as I love to undress you,” she flirted.
__________________
Kieran
took the girls up to her room, letting them look around while she changed out
of her uniform and into workout clothes.
“KT, your
fiancée is a knock out,” Stephanie called through the ensuite door. “She seems really nice.”
Kieran
emerged, still tugging her new sweatshirt over her head. “She’s the best,” Kieran agreed. “But catch me up on you guys. Show of hands, how many of you are married?”
she counted two. “Have kids?” She
counted none. “Anyone a Captain
yet?” Again no hands. “First Officer?” Three hands. “Full
Commanders?” Four hands. “Lieutenant Commanders?” Two more hands. “Lieutenants?” the remainder of the hands
went up. “Anybody left Starfleet?” no
hands. “Where the hell is Jonesy?”
The room
grew silent. “We lost her in the war,”
Stephanie finally piped up.
After a
few moments, when the sad truth had sunk in, there was a collective sigh, and
then everyone was talking at once, rattling off their respective ships, jobs,
where they had most recently been. They
chattered just like they had during their Academy days, all arm in arm and
giggling, as if no time had passed at all.
____________________
Naomi
Wildman sat in the bleachers of the sports arena, trying to entertain Katie
Torres, who was intermittently watching her mother play basketball. Naomi kept her eyes on the court as much as
she could, and she could tell the players were getting their rhythm back
again. She presumed there were many
more knee braces and ankle wraps and thigh bandages than when the women had
been teammates, but they still had hops, and they still had love for the
game. She felt like she was getting an
education in Kieran’s history, between meeting her old friends and her family,
and it helped her to solidify her impressions of how Kieran got to be who she
was. It was also clear to Naomi from her own experience playing with Kieran on
Voyager that as basketball players go, Kieran was far superior to any of her
former teammates.
They did
lay-up drills, weaving pass drills, pick-and-roll drills, grapevines and
rebounding off the backboard timing drills.
The routines flowed as naturally as they had when the women practiced
four hours a day, back in the day.
Kieran was working up a good sweat, cheeks pinkened with exertion, but
her eyes were bright and shining with pure exhilaration.
“Hey,
Kelsey,” Stephanie called out as she retrieved the ball.
Kieran’s
head snapped up. “Man, nobody has
called me that in years,” she laughed.
“Show us
the move,” Stephanie taunted her.
C’mon, Kelsey at the Bat, show us the move,” she ribbed the taller
woman.
Karen
Weaver joined in. “Mighty Kelsey will
strike out,” she predicted, dribbling around her former teammate. “Show us the move, KT.”
Kieran
shook her head ruefully, palming the ball.
“Okay, but damn, you guys, I’m not twenty anymore,” she bitched, walking
to half court. She flipped the ball out
in front of her eight feet, streaked out to snag it and dribbled toward the
basket. When she reached the foul line,
she launched herself air born, backhand slamming the ball with two hands. It actually went down.
The girls
hooted and cheered uproariously. “She
still got game!” Annie Calicutt hollered, high-fiving her former teammates.
Kieran
landed flat on her ass, grimacing.
“See? I’m not as graceful as I
used to be. I used to be able to do
that and land on my feet,” she chuckled, letting Stephanie hoist her from the
hardwood floor. Kieran rubbed her ass,
scowling.
“You have
to do that during the game, KT,” Jenny Lincoln slapped her on the back. “Those punks from the Academy will be
begging you for lessons,” she gloated.
Kieran
smirked. “You guys, they will probably
kick our asses into the next Quadrant, you realize that, don’t you?”
Her
teammates jaws dropped. “Not a fucking
chance,” they said, almost in unison.
“We are the undefeated!” they crowed, jumping up and down and making
triumphant noises.
Kieran
grinned. “Yeah, well then let’s see who
can still shoot the three-ball, because after they run us ragged, we’re going
to have to score somehow,” she said realistically. “Annie? Can you still
find the bottom?”
Annie
waggled her eyebrows. “Honey, I always
could find the bottom,” she oozed innuendo. “Or the top, or the middle, for
that matter,” she laughed at her own joke.
Kieran
laughed at her brashness. “You guys are
something else,” she shook her head.
“Okay, back to work, lazy ho’s,” she admonished.
_______________
Kieran
scrubbed the sweat from her hair, singing lustily in the shower, energized from
being with her old friends again. Steam
rolled under the door, and Naomi Wildman lay on the bed, grinning at the bawdy
ditty Kieran was belting out.
She
stripped herself silently, and snuck into the ensuite, pulling open the glass
door and sliding up behind Kieran.
“Nice song. Is it an
invitation?”
Kieran turned
to face her. “It could be,” she rinsed
her hands under the shower spray, then grabbed Naomi energetically, kissing her
and tugging her under the flow of water.
“Do you want it to be?” she moved suggestively against the smaller
woman.
Naomi
touched her face, no longer playful. “I
do want it to be. I need to connect
with you, KT,” she requested.
Kieran
turned serious in an instant. “What’s
wrong, sweetie?” she wrapped her arms around the lovely young woman. “Something bothering you?”
“Not bothering
me,” she decided pensively. “Just--I
don’t want to lose us in all this activity.”
“Ah,”
Kieran nodded, understanding. “It’s
probably pretty strange, seeing and meeting all these people from my past,” she
hit the nail on the head.
“I just
forget, sometimes, that you had a life before Voyager,” Naomi admitted, soaping
her hands and running them over Kieran’s chest. “Not just a life, but a really full life, one I wasn’t a part of. You’ve always been in mine,” she pointed
out.
Kieran
kissed her gently. “That’s not true,
honey. Your first six years, I didn’t
know you at all. I knew of you, but we
weren’t friends. I hardly knew your
mother, for example, and unfortunately, I won’t get the chance to know
her. Fortunately, for you--well, I
guess the jury is still out on that, but you get to meet my family, be part of
it. I’d have liked to have known
Samantha better,” she said, wishing she could have.
“Your Mom
really worked you over today,” Naomi murmured, letting soapy fingers roam down
the muscles in Kieran’s arms. “Is she
always so hard on you?”
“She was
being really nice, today,” Kieran laughed.
“Usually it’s much worse. She
rags on me for everything. You wait and
see. Dad tries to shut her down when
she starts, but it’s such an old pattern with her, she really can’t help
herself, I think.”
“You seem
to take it in stride,” Naomi complimented her.
Kieran
kissed her forehead indulgently.
“That’s because I spend most of my life 3,000 miles or more away from
her,” she said honestly. “There was an
ulterior motive for going into space travel,” she laughed, stealing the soap
and working up a good lather in her palms.
She smoothed her hands down Naomi’s back, kneading the muscles as she
went, working out the tension. “You’re
really tight,” she mentioned. “Am I
hurting you?”
Naomi
laughed deep in her chest. “You usually
like it when I’m tight,” she flirted, “and you’ve never hurt me,” she added,
turning back around to face her lover.
She pulled her in for a kiss, leaning them up against the tiles,
exploring Kieran’s mouth teasingly. She
reached for Kieran’s breasts, rubbing her thumbs over the warm, fleshy
nipples. Kieran groaned softly,
capturing Naomi’s lips in a heated kiss.
They stood
there for long minutes, kissing and caressing and letting the water rinse away
the soapy mess they had made. Kieran
slid her hands beneath Naomi’s buttocks and lifted her up, pressing between her
legs simultaneously, anchoring her against the wall as Naomi’s legs enfolded
Kieran’s body. Kieran’s fingers found
the cleft between Naomi’s cheeks, filling her with two fingers in one
opening. Naomi arched outward, arms
around Kieran’s neck, body suspended by Kieran’s taut, powerful arms. Tongues entwined, bodies straining together,
Naomi moved against Kieran’s belly, letting her labia open against the swell of
Kieran’s flesh, the slick fluid coating the skin and leaving a warm ribbon.
Naomi tore
her mouth away, biting Kieran’s earlobe and grunting faintly. “I want your
fingers everywhere,” she murmured, urging her lover to fill her other opening.
“Are you
sure?” Kieran hesitated. It was
something she’d never ventured with Naomi, thinking she was too delicate to
take the intrusion.
“Please,”
Naomi moaned soft and low. “Kieran,
touch me there,” she whimpered in Kieran’s ear.
Kieran
shifted Naomi’s weight against the wall, making sure she had a firm hold on the
slippery woman’s torso. “Okay,” she
agreed, kissing Naomi’s throat. “Relax
for me,” she instructed, dabbling a third finger in the lubricant between
Naomi’s labia. She pressed the digit
into Naomi’s tightest orifice, feeling the resistance, then moving past the
barrier of muscle. “Is that okay?” she
hesitated, afraid of hurting her partner.
“It feels
so intense,” Naomi breathed into the sensation. “God, it burns,” she groaned.
“Do you
want me to stop?” Kieran wasn’t sure if a burning sensation was a good thing or
not.
“Don’t you
dare,” Naomi wriggled against her, forcing Kieran’s fingers to move inside her.
Kieran
obliged by easing her finger in slowly, and out again. Naomi started to come immediately, shaking
with spasms inside her walls, crying out.
“Kieran,” she buried her face in the taller woman’s neck, “oh God, it’s
so good,” she gasped, letting the orgasm tear through her, body convulsing in
sharp breaking waves.
“I’ve got
you,” Kieran assured her, continuing the careful motion until the waves
subsided.
Naomi
collapsed against her, legs falling from around her hips, once again standing,
but definitely on weakened legs. She
laughed with relief, still hanging onto Kieran’s neck, lifting her leg so
Kieran could remove her fingers again.
“Come
here,” Kieran scooped her up and carried her out of the shower stall. “Grab that towel,” she directed her lover as
she turned them to fit through the door, keying the shower controls to turn off
the water.
Naomi
collected the large bath sheet from the metal shelf, letting Kieran carry her
to bed.
“Hang on
to me,” Kieran ordered her, taking the towel in one hand and spreading it out
on the bed. She eased Naomi onto it,
then lay herself over the Ktarian’s body protectively, fingers lacing together
and arms stretching to the edges of the bed.
Kieran
kissed her deeply, teasing with her tongue, weight supported on her knees,
careful not to crush the gorgeous creature beneath her. “I love you, Naomi, and I want to spend the
best part of my life with you,” she whispered between kisses. “The past can never compare to finding
you. Nothing ever will compare to
that,” she breathed warmly in the Ktarian’s ear, nuzzling and raising
gooseflesh. She untangled their hands,
shifting her weight above Naomi, balancing to protect her. “I’m going to make love to you until you beg
me to stop,” she promised her beloved.
Naomi
moaned as Kieran’s mouth closed around her left nipple. “What if I never want you to stop?” she
asked, her breathing laboring in time with Kieran’s lips.
“Then
we’ll spend the rest of our lives making love,” Kieran said solemnly, gently
holding the distended flesh in her teeth and pulling on it ever so slightly.
Naomi
groaned again, holding Kieran’s head to her breast. “You’re making me crazy,” she shivered with need.
Kieran
found her wetness once more, penetrating her with two fingers, easing them in
and out in time with the motion of her tongue on Naomi’s breast. “I’ll stop if you ask,” she whispered,
descending the Ktarian’s torso and opening her legs with kisses. She tasted Naomi then, making her cry out as
she found a ripened clitoris. She loved
to seduce her this way, licking softly at her folds until she was begging for
release, tasting and opening her with an inquisitive tongue. She curled her fingers inside Naomi’s walls,
sucking the fleshy lips into her mouth, spreading them open with a slow, long
lick.
Naomi drew
her legs up, opening herself more deeply.
Kieran smiled against her sex, pressing her fingers further, then
sliding them out in a tantalizing motion.
She teased and tasted her that way until Naomi could take no more.
“Kieran,”
she begged, “please…I need…I need…” she prayed for release, gasping for air.
“What do
you need, love?” Kieran wanted to make her say it.
“I need…oh
God…please make me come,” she groaned, body trembling.
Kieran
pressed a single finger into her second opening, this time all the way in with
a quick thrust, and Naomi went rigid, crying out.
Kieran’s
tongue danced over her clit then, wringing the orgasm out of her as she moved
her hips unbidden, in time with the rolling climax breaking inside her. Kieran held her down, not letting her shy
from the caresses, until Naomi pushed on Kieran’s forehead, forcing her away.
“Do you
want me to stop?” she chuckled.
“Yes,”
Naomi finally admitted, laughing.
Obediently
and true to her word, Kieran withdrew her fingers and moved up the length of her
lover’s glorious body, sinking into Naomi’s arms.
They were
silent while they waited for the frenzied feeling to dissipate, lying in the
tangled bedding, breathing in synchronized breaths. “You would tell me if I ever did anything that hurts, wouldn’t you?”
Kieran finally asked.
“Yes. Why haven’t you ever done that to me
before?” Naomi’s voice was still weak.
“I was
afraid you couldn’t take that much without it causing pain. I guess I was wrong,” she murmured.
Naomi
stroked her hair softly, loving the natural silk of it without chemical agents
to make it spike out. “I think you just
excite me so much,” she considered, “that you could do a lot of things and they
wouldn’t hurt. If it were anyone but
you, you’re probably right, I wouldn’t like it. But you’re so careful and considerate, I seem to be able to push
my body to the limit for you, and everything just feels so amazing,” she kissed
Kieran’s forehead, holding her face against full breasts. “I never would’ve imagined sex could be so
important,” she sighed, overwhelmed by it.
Kieran
smiled, letting her fingers splay across Naomi’s flat stomach. “It’s really what you said tonight,” she
agreed. “It’s a way to connect, to
reaffirm what we are to each other. I
feel so honored, because no one else gets to touch you that way. When you let me make love to you, it feels
like the most incredible gift,” she wrapped her arm around Naomi’s waist, head
still in the crook of Naomi’s arm.
Naomi
squeezed Kieran tighter. “It is a means
of connecting—the most direct and immediate means,” she agreed. “I need it.
I need to be with you that way.
It keeps me vulnerable,” she admitted.
Kieran
wasn’t sure she understood.
“Vulnerable?”
Naomi
nodded. “When I give myself up to you,
let you make love to me—and when I really, really let go, and I’m vocal and
needful and pleading with you to do those things to me, I am in a complete
state of vulnerability and in that surrender, I have absolute faith in your
love for me. I trust that you will give
me the emotional safety net and the physical release, and that no matter how
loud I scream, or how vulgar I am, or how desperately I need you to take me,
you’ll love me when it’s over with. I
can’t very well build walls to shut you out if you’ve seen me at my most vulnerable. It’s the most basic state a person is ever
in, and you’re the only person I’ll ever share that with. Does that make sense?”
“I think
so,” Kieran considered. “Without that,
would you build walls?” she needed to understand.
“Probably. I watched it happen with you and B’Elanna,
anyway,” she said quietly, still stroking Kieran’s hair.
Kieran
propped her head up on her hand. “What
are you talking about?”
Naomi
sighed. “Maybe I shouldn’t go down this
path,” she regretted the observation.
“No,
please. I want to get it, Na. I think you’re telling me something very
important, and I want to learn if I can.
God, I don’t want to fuck this up like I did with B’Elanna,” she said
earnestly.
“Okay,”
Naomi gathered her thoughts. “I watched
you and B’Elanna putting up walls with each other for weeks and weeks before
you broke up. I would be willing to bet
that while all that was going on, there was no sexual interaction. I think, if you had allowed yourselves to be
sexual together, the walls would’ve come back down. But when anyone in a relationship consciously refuses to be
vulnerable, walls start to multiply exponentially.” Naomi kissed Kieran’s hair
tenderly. “She was consciously choosing
to refuse her love and vulnerability to you.”
“I tried to
be sexual with her, but she kept pushing me away. I did everything I could to reach her, and she was so pissed at
me for being gone all the time, as soon as I would try to be close to her
physically, let alone sexually, she would withdraw. She went so far as to sleep on the couch, rather than let me hold
her sleeping,” Kieran explained, thinking about how rejected she had felt. “One night, I asked the Captain for two
hours off to try to be with B'Elanna, and we went home,” she recalled. “It was all wrong between us, by then. I tried to initiate sex with her, but
she—she—bit me really hard, and I got angry.
Only as soon as she saw the blood, she was excited, so I hung in there,
and she just about shredded my chest.
Then she pushed me away and said it was too dangerous for me to try to
be with her, because she would put me in sickbay. But what she really wanted was for me to force her. And I’m not about to ever force anyone to
have sex, even if that’s what they want me to do. So instead of making love, I spent half an hour with a dermal
regenerator, trying to fix my chest and breasts and my sides. And I went to dinner with you, instead.”
Naomi eyes
widened. “You mean that one wound I saw
on you—that was just one of many she inflicted on you that night?”
“Oh, hell,
Na, there were probably forty just like that one,” Kieran admitted. “Not that she usually got that carried away,
but bloodlust is powerful stuff for a Klingon.
I should have known after she bit my throat that I was in trouble, but I
kept trying.” Kieran sighed. “I knew then she needed to be with a man,
because a guy would’ve loved the idea of forcing her. But to get back to your point, you’re right, B'Elanna had been
pushing me away for months. In fact, we
hadn’t slept together since we had been in orbit at Restid Three.”
“That’s a
hell of a long time,” Naomi affirmed her own theory. “And refusing that sexual connection was B’Elanna’s way of
denying her love for you, of ignoring it and locking it away from her
vulnerability. She could reinforce her
walls, and get more distance from you, and close you out more and more, until
you two had no common ground left to stand on for all the walls separating
you. With you and I,” she stressed, “I
know that the very best thing I can do when things are difficult is let you in,
not shut you out. If I surrender myself
to you, I can’t simultaneously be building walls against you. It would be easy, I know, to fall into that
pattern of protecting myself, but the second I give in to the instinct to put
that wall up, we’re lost, and I know it.
Fear and vulnerability can’t coexist successfully. So when I feel distance between us, I know I
have to eliminate it, reaffirm our closeness, and if that means giving myself
over to you completely, that’s what I’ll do.”
Kieran nodded. “And so you came in the
shower with me,” she stated.
“I was
feeling so distanced from you—not because of anything you’d done, but because
of our circumstances. Nothing here is
familiar to me, nothing feels like home.
Yet to you, this is your home, your kingdom, your domain. And so I was feeling like I don’t belong,
but you do, and it would have been easy to close myself and refuse to try to be
part of your life here. It’s the first
instinct, to tuck tail and run--run back to the Moms, to the familiar and
safe. I had to make myself vulnerable
to you to keep myself from giving in to the instinct.”
Kieran
wrapped herself around the smaller woman, closing her eyes. “I never, ever want to have a wall between
us. We were lucky, Sieken gave us the
tool to remove them all, to share everything our hearts hold. Now we’re on our own, with no psychic link
to tear down the walls we might build.
We have to do it ourselves. I
get what you’re saying,” she squeezed Naomi close to her.
“If we
ever have a fight and we don’t immediately have sex to mend it, that’s when
we’re in real trouble. Sex is the way I
give myself to you, the way I entrust my soul to you. If that withers away, so will our love.”
Kieran
held her possessively, chest aching, wanting to absorb her completely. “I love you so much, Naomi. Your selflessness humbles me.”
“The thing
is,” Naomi pointed out, “you’re really good at dropping your own defenses with
me. You’re never afraid to cry, never
hesitant to apologize, and you don’t hide your vulnerability, ever. I know I’ve found my ideal partner, because
what I have to work at, you do automatically.
The problem with you and B’Elanna was that you were meeting her halfway,
and she wasn’t showing up for the conference,” she laughed quietly.
Kieran
laughed. “Hell, she didn’t even read
the invitation to the conference,” she joked.
“You know, you certainly had some major insights into my marriage. Why didn’t you share them while I could
still do something about them?”
Naomi
snuggled closer, thinking. “Probably
because I could never be objective where you were concerned. I didn’t trust myself to give you the best
advice, as opposed to the advice that might bring you closer to me. So I kept my mouth shut, mostly,” she
explained.
Kieran
rolled them over, hovering over Naomi.
“I’m glad you didn’t figure out a way for me to work things out with
Lanna. This is where I belonged. Only, if you hadn’t had that experience on
Restid Three, we would’ve had to wait years and years to be together. That freak little encounter with that cave
slime changed our whole lives.”
Naomi
smiled warmly. “Sometimes, fate just
has the best plan,” she agreed.
___________________
After a
very late dinner, Seven of Nine sank into the chair of the hotel room’s
workstation, while Kathryn showered and got ready for bed. Her curiosity was piqued after seeing
Kieran’s statue, and she wondered what else Kieran had simply never mentioned
to them. Seven accessed the Starfleet
database, and then found the Academy link.
She went into the news archives and searched ‘Kieran Thompson’. She watched as over four hundred hits
accumulated on the search results list.
She scrolled through the titles, astonished at the sheer number of
articles. Most were box scores from
games Kieran had played in, but there were pieces on various awards she had
won, the text of her graduation speech, even an article about a musical
performance she had given at a campus talent show. Seven opened a couple of the articles, laughing at how young
Kieran looked in the accompanying pictures.
Cassidy
Thompson’s obituary popped up on the screen from a link Seven had followed, and
a brief video about Cassidy played.
Then there was an interview with Kieran that had run on ESPN, asking her
about Cassidy, how the death had impacted her athletic performance, how she was
coping in general. Kieran told the
reporter all about her sister, how close they had been, and how proud she was
to have had Cassidy’s love and support.
Seven studied Cassidy’s likeness for a long time, noting the
similarities to Kieran. Other than the
eye color and the texture of their hair, they looked identical.
Seven
perused the list, opening an occasional link, reading various interviews Kieran
had given, viewing footage of the championship game, and watching excerpts from
highlight reels of other games. She
could hear that Kathryn was almost done in the bathroom, and she did not want
Kathryn to find her researching Kieran Thompson, after Kathryn’s obvious fit of
jealousy over the statue and Seven’s admiration of it.
Seven’s
eyes came to rest on one of the last articles:
Kieran Thompson, Former ICAA Athlete of the Year, Announces Engagement at Jersey Retirement Ceremony by Michael Jacobsen
Seven
opened the link, noting the date was just before Voyager was lost. She was just about to scroll down to the
photo of Kieran and her fiancée, when Kathryn emerged from the bathroom. Seven cleared the screen.
“What are
you looking at?” Kathryn asked mildly.
“Weather
forecast,” Seven reported, shutting off the display.
___________________
Kieran
awoke later than usual, and she was surprised.
Naomi tended to awaken first, and her habit was to ease Kieran into
consciousness by kissing and caressing her.
This morning, Naomi slumbered on, and when Kieran tried to turn her onto
her back to kiss her, Naomi actually pushed her away as she rolled over.
Kieran
tried not to feel hurt, since Naomi was sound asleep. But she looked at her lover and realized Naomi looked awful. Her face was drawn and tired, and overnight,
deep, dark circles had appeared under her eyes. She felt her forehead for fever, but found none. Naomi’s brow knitted and she grimaced in her
sleep. The next thing Kieran knew,
Naomi launched herself out of bed and ran for the ensuite, vomiting before she
could even get to the basin. Kieran
leapt out of bed and followed her, steadying her over the porcelain receptacle,
holding her hair back out of the way.
“It’s
okay,” she soothed, rubbing her back.
“Are you okay?”
Naomi
continued to retch, purging herself of everything she’d eaten the night
before. “I need water,” she managed to
say between heaves.
Kieran got
cold water from the replicator, helped Naomi drink it down, and then wiped her
face with a damp washcloth. “Better?”
Naomi was
pale as the sheets on their bed, but she nodded. She stood up, but immediately got dizzy, and Kieran had to catch
her to keep her from hitting the tile.
“It’s
okay, I’ve got you. I think you’d
better lie down, and let me get a medic from the concierge’s office,” she
scooped Naomi into her arms as if she weighed nothing, and carried her back to
bed. “Na, you’re losing weight,” she
commented. “You feel so slight,” she
sounded worried.
“I’m okay,
honest,” Naomi assured her. “I just
need to rest a minute. Go ahead and
take your shower, and I’ll collect myself,” she smiled wanly.
“Like
hell. I’m not leaving you until I know
you’re not going to throw up again,” Kieran lay back down with her, holding her
close.
Naomi
closed her eyes tightly, trying to make the room stop spinning, willing away
the multihued spots dancing behind her eyelids. “I’m better now. I
promise,” she lied. “I’d like to eat
breakfast, though, so go get showered, please.”
Kieran
studied her a bit, then relented. “You
call me if you need me. I’ll make it a
really quick one,” she decided.
“I’ll be
fine. I’m going to contact Gran. With K-Mom and Seven back in debriefing,
Gran and Aunt Phoebe are going to be at loose ends--I told them we’d take them
on a tour of the campus, and go see your statue,” she smiled faintly.
“Figures. Can’t trust you as far as I can throw you,”
she teased. “I may have to leave your
tour early, though, because I’ve got practice at two.”
“Okay,
sweetie,” Naomi agreed. “But you’d
better not bail out just so you can avoid seeing your likeness. You really should see it, KT.”
“Yes,
Ma’am. I’m getting in now,” she called
back to her.
___________________
Gretchen
Janeway walked with Naomi’s hand in hers, following along the campus tour
Kieran was conducting. Phoebe shaded
her eyes with her hand, taking in the buildings Kieran pointed out. The Thompsons were familiar with everything,
but tagged along anyway.
“Over
there is the Social Sciences Center.
They have Psychology, Sociology, Anthropology, and Political Science
courses there. The Counselor training
program is there, too,” she pointed across the lawn. “And that is the Medical Sciences building. The student infirmary is there, along with
the medical school. Over there is the
Student Union, where the Alumni Association offices are, and the cafeteria,
administration offices, recreation center, and archives.”
Naomi
piped up. “Isn’t the Wall of Fame in
there, too? I’d like to see it.”
“Yes. Come on, we’ll take a look,” Kieran
agreed. She led them to the third
floor, down a long, rectangular corridor.
“This timeline shows all the major events in the history of Starfleet,”
she explained. “From first contact with
Vulcan,” she traced the diagram, “to the Dominion War and beyond. They update it every six months. Over here,” she pointed to a plexicast case
set into the wall, “are all the awards that have been given to the Academy,
including my favorite, the Einstein award, which the Academy received for its
work on quantum mechanics.”
There was
an impressive array of medals, plaques, trophies, and mementos from alien
governments, thanking the Academy for various deeds of service.
Naomi
grinned as they walked down the next corridor.
This was the portion she had wanted to see. “What’s this, KT?” she asked innocently.
Kieran was
oblivious to the subterfuge. “This wall
has a plate listing the name of every Valedictorian and every Salutatorian of
every graduating class since the Academy was founded,” she waved her hand down
the wall.
Naomi
slipped her arm through Kieran’s. “Show
us yours,” she grinned with delight.
Kieran’s
left eyebrow shot skyward. “Is that why
you wanted to come up here? Just for
that?” she laughed.
“I want
your picture next to it, KT,” she insisted, digging her holoimager out of her
backpack. “Stand next to it and
smile. I said smile, not smirk,” she
lectured.
Kieran
tried to be sincere as she stood next to the brass plate with her name on it.
Kieran’s
dad nudged his wife. “She’s letting
someone take her picture. Now I know
she’s in love,” he smarted.
Kieran
stuck her tongue out at him, and Naomi clicked the image at that very
moment. “Dang it, you did that on
purpose,” she hit the ‘back’ button on the imager and reset it. “Now don’t screw this one up, Commander,”
she demanded, taking the picture again.
“Now that
that’s over,” Kieran scowled playfully, “I suppose you want to see the trophy
case at the arena, too,” she kissed Naomi’s hair lovingly.
“Yep. Lead on,” she replied.
After they
had taken a look at the trophy case in the arena, they exited by the statue of
Kieran Thompson.
“God, Wes
was right,” she breathed, taking in the behemoth. “It is an eyesore.” She
knelt down at the base of the monument to read the inscription, her eyes
misting over. “I can’t believe they did
this.”
Kieran’s
dad knelt beside her. “Starfish, you
should have seen the dedication ceremony.
This whole plaza was packed with people—cadets, celebrities,
Admirals—your favorite music group—what were they called?”
“Azure
Horizon,” Kieran replied softly.
“They
performed a song. Lenara Kahn, Leah
Brahms, Hanor Pren, Bejal Otner, and Paul Stubbs were just a few of the
speakers at the ceremony,” he said proudly. “Jean-Luc Picard also spoke to the
crowd, and then Admiral Brand made the dedication. Your mom and I have a recording of it, if you’d like to see it,”
he offered.
“All of
those big-shot scientists? They all
came?” Kieran was overwhelmed.
“They all
considered you a friend,” Gerry shrugged.
“They were very kind to your mother and I. It helped a lot to hear their memories of you, and to know that
in spite of how important they all are, you managed to make an impression upon
them.”
“Maybe
someday, Daddy, I’ll watch it. I think
it would just upset me, now though.
This homecoming is so raw, so close to the surface,” she bit her lip.
“I
understand,” he hugged her as they studied the inscription on the statue’s
base. “Your mother and I were so proud
when they unveiled this. We had a good
many laughs, over it, too, because we knew you’d just hate it.”
When
Kieran had composed herself, she allowed Naomi to take the obligatory slew of
photos of her beside the statue, and she tried very hard not to roll her eyes.
“Now,
duplicate the pose of the statue,” Naomi instructed, focusing again.
“Honey, I
don’t have a basketball, how can I?” Kieran protested, looking at the bronzed
figure and trying to duplicate the stance.
“Improvise,”
Naomi insisted in a demanding tone.
Kieran
tried her best to recreate the pose, but it was laughable. “Honey, I’d have to be in the middle of a
slam dunk to pull that off.”
“Try
again,” Naomi called out.
Gretchen
smirked. “Is she always this bossy?”
she asked, arms crossed in mock disgust.
“Infinitely
worse, when we’re alone,” Kieran teased.
Satisfied
with the reams of images scrolling across the display, Naomi said they could
move on.
“Okay,”
Kieran agreed gratefully. “Xenobiology,
zoology, reproductive science, and terraforming classes are in that complex,”
she pointed it out as they passed by.
“Up ahead is the propulsion studies quad--where is Naomi?” she looked
around, not seeing her lover. She
spotted her still back at the statue, bent at the waist and purging her
breakfast. “Na!” she shouted, running
back to her. As she caught up with the
obviously ill Ktarian, Naomi reached for Kieran’s arms to steady her and
collapsed to the sidewalk. Naomi was
coughing up bright red blood as she retched.
“Shit!”
Kieran swore, trying to ease Naomi down without hurting her. “DAD!” she hollered, “Help me!”
Gerry
Thompson was already on his way, and he helped Kieran get Naomi into her arms.
“I’m
taking her to the infirmary,” she announced, already taking off at a jog across
the greenways. “Come on, everyone.”
She burst
through the automatic doors of the emergency room, shouting for assistance and
giving orders. “Phoebe, contact Voyager
at that kiosk,” she pointed to the workstation. “Download Naomi’s medical records, authorization Thompson pi
alpha one, Ship’s Counselor clearance.
Gretchen, get a PADD over there and start filling it out. Dad, there’s a comm station over there,” she
barked. “Contact Kathryn and Seven, tell them where we are and that Naomi is
bleeding internally. Then hail B’Elanna
and tell her what’s happened, and I won’t be picking up Katie tonight.” Then to the attendant she said, “I’m
Commander Kieran Thompson. Hail Kate
Pulaski and get her down here to see this patient, Lieutenant.”
The
attendant balked. “I can’t hail
Pulaski, Sir, she’s the director of this facility.”
“She’s
also a friend of mine, and I just gave you a direct order, God damn it, now
hail her,” she hugged Naomi closer.
“Hang on, sweetie,” she whispered into her ear.
Naomi
groaned. “Kieran, it hurts so bad,” she
managed.
“What
baby? What hurts?” Kieran shifted
Naomi’s weight.
Naomi
cried out. “Everything hurts,” she
winced. “God, make it stop,” she buried
her face in Kieran’s shoulder.
“Mom,”
Kieran said to the only person that wasn’t already jumping to do her bidding,
“contact the office at the arena, tell the girls I won’t make practice today.”
Kate
Pulaski shoved through the doors of the emergency ward, a look of pure outrage
on her face, as she demanded to know why in bleeding hell she had been dragged
out of a meeting. She spotted Kieran
Thompson, saw the look of dire alarm on her face, and immediately set her ire
aside.
“Commander,”
she greeted the younger woman, “bring her in here, I’ll take a look. Are her medical records in the system yet?”
Phoebe
came back just then. “Downloading as we
speak,” she advised. “Na,” she touched
her arm, “it’s okay,” she bit her lip, seeing the excruciating look of pain
Naomi wore.
“Let’s go,
Kieran,” Pulaski took them into the treatment area. “Lay her down here and let me scan her. What’s been going on?”
Kieran
explained Naomi’s nausea and vomiting, and then her recent problems with
accelerated maturation. Pulaski scanned
and muttered, slapped together a hypospray, and told Naomi “I’m going to give
you something to stop the nausea and the pain.”
Naomi
relaxed immediately, sighing as the medicine hit her system. “Thank you,” she murmured.
Pulaski
read through the workstation display, reviewing Naomi’s most recent CBC, her
genetic profile, and the EMH’s notes regarding her accelerated aging. “This looks like something I went through on
Enterprise,” she said half-aloud. “She is definitely not in remission anymore,”
Pulaski determined.
Kieran
fidgeted nervously. “Can you help her?”
Pulaski
didn’t give her a direct answer. “I
need to run some tests. Some of these
readings look like nonsense to me. Let
me do some digging, KT. I want to check
the database for information on accelerated aging in Ktarians, and see if there
are other cases of it. Wait out in the
lobby. This might take awhile,” she
advised. Seeing the instant protest on
Kieran’s lips, she held up a hand.
“Don’t argue, Commander, I have work to do, and she is going to be
asleep in a matter of moments.”
“She’s my
fiancée,” Kieran said weakly. “Please,
Kate, take good care of her.”
Pulaski
gave her a rare smile. “Kiddo, I
figured that out the second I saw the fear in your eyes. I’ll do my best.”
_______________
The
waiting room was filled to capacity, between Kieran’s teammates, Naomi and Kieran’s
families, and the most recent arrivals, Noah, B’Elanna and Neelix. Kieran sat in a chair, despairing. She couldn’t shake the sight of all that
blood.
Kate
Pulaski came out presently, looking more subdued than Kieran could ever
remember seeing her. “Kieran,” she
said, “you have medical power of attorney?”
“That’s
right,” Kieran agreed, standing to face the Doctor. “What is it?”
“I need to
endoscope her. I have to get a sample
of her stomach lining, and that’s a minor surgical procedure. She’s sedated, so I need consent from you.”
“Whatever
it takes,” Kieran nodded emphatically.
“Can you tell us anything?”
Pulaski
frowned. “She is very, very ill, I’ll
tell you that. She appears to have been
throwing up her own stomach tissue, hence the blood in her vomitus. My impression is that her aging has
accelerated to the point that she is sloughing off the re-grown lining too
fast. I won’t know for sure without the
sample. She’ll only be in surgery half
an hour, tops. I’ll know more
then. I’ve contacted Jean-Luc Picard,
and the Enterprise’s data banks are at our disposal. He’s got his staff researching every known Ktarian Doctor in the
Quadrant. Keep your fingers crossed.”
Kieran
felt all the blood drain from her face, and she slumped back down in her
chair. This did not sound promising.
Stephanie
Moss came and sat on the arm of Kieran’s chair. “Hey, KT,” she said softly, ruffling through Kieran’s hair. “How you holding up?”
Kieran’s
facial expression never changed. “I’ve been better,” she admitted.
Stephanie
nodded. “I bet. But do you remember what you told me, when
Cassidy was dying?”
Kieran
gave her a puzzled look. “No. I don’t remember discussing it with you,
even. Did we?” she asked weakly.
“You were
a trooper, KT. Cass was in the end
stages, and I just couldn’t believe how you were functioning at all, and I
asked how the hell you were pulling it off.
I’ll never forget what you said.
You said, ‘when there’s two minutes to go in the game and you’re down
ten, you finish the game. You put your
head down, you play harder. You never
show your weakness. And you show no
mercy to yourself until the buzzer sounds.’
And that’s what you did for Cass.
She never saw you give up on her, never saw you cry, and you stayed
strong for her. That’s what you have to
do now, KT. I know you don’t want to
hear that, but that’s what you have to do.”
Kieran
barely nodded. “Yeah,” she agreed.
_______________
Kate
Pulaski removed her surgical gloves with a sigh. She felt old. Everything
ached, especially her heart. You
never get used to this part of the job, she complained inwardly.
She
stripped off her scrubs and put on fresh ones, then made her way down to the
waiting area. She motioned Kathryn,
Seven, and Kieran over, but everyone gathered around. “It’s worse than I thought,” she began. “This accelerated maturation has speeded up considerably since
Naomi’s last scans. Quite simply, she
is living so fast that she is dying. I
can slow down the aging, but right now, I can’t stop it.”
Kieran
felt bile threatening at the back of her throat. “What does that mean, exactly?” she asked, voice a near whisper.
Kate knew
Kieran had already reached the proper conclusions, but wanted the cold truth of
it. “I am treating this as a terminal
illness,” she said bluntly. “Naomi will
age rapidly, and as she does, her systems will begin to fail. We can treat the organs and the systems as
problems crop up, but eventually, there won’t be anything we can do to stop the
deterioration. I’m not even certain to
what degree I can slow down the process, now that it seems to be a runaway
shuttle. I’m sorry,” she said
sincerely.
Kieran
heard herself as if from very far away asking “How long?”
“Overall
survival, best case scenario, four or five years. But as far as quality of life, with her ability to enjoy living
intact, two years, maybe less. It will
be a gradual decline, at first, and the momentum will increase with time. For the time that she has, we will do
everything we can to make her comfortable, and I assure you, I have an entire
team of interns poring over every byte of data available on aging, progeria,
morbidity, and Ktarian physiology. If
there’s a better treatment, I’ll find it, Kieran, I promise you. The hell of it is, I can’t tell what really
set this off. If I only knew what
triggered it, I might be able to treat it effectively, instead of just throwing
up asteroid fields in its path,” she lay one hand on Kathryn’s forearm, the
other on Kieran’s shoulder.
“Stress
will make her worse. You have to treat
her with due care, and I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that. She’s coming out of anesthesia now, and my
PA is putting together a regimen of hyposprays she can take every 24 hours to
help retard the geriatric encroachment.
I’m also sending a generous supply of pain medication. Don’t hesitate to give it to her at the
first sign of discomfort. Hail me if
there is anything you don’t understand, or if she relapses. You can take her home within the hour. Make sure she gets plenty of rest.”
Kieran
nodded half-heartedly.
“Make the
most of this time, Kieran,” Pulaski advised.
“It’s going to go by like a starfield at warp.”
“Does
Naomi know?” Kieran asked faintly.
“No. You and I are going to go tell her, right
now.”
Kieran
looked around the room at the despairing faces, her courage failing her. “I—I can’t,” she hung her head.
No one
spoke for the longest time, the silence pregnant and painful. Finally it was Stephanie Moss who filled the
silence. She looked at everyone,
wondering why no one was saying what had to be said. She grabbed Kieran’s uniform, pulling her within inches, forehead
to forehead, bumping her roughly.
“You
listen to me, KT, and you listen good,” she growled fiercely. “You put on your game face! You stow that sick
fucking look, and you do your duty.
There is a weak, scared little girl in there, and she needs you to be
the rock in this relationship, and you will by God deliver, do you hear me? Suck it up!
You finish the game, KT. You
always finish the game. You show no
weakness, and you show yourself no mercy.
Now pull your act together, and be the person Naomi needs you to be,”
she butted her in the forehead hard to focus Kieran on the pain in her head,
not her heart.
Kieran
nodded, swallowing hard and drawing a resolute breath. She bumped Stephanie’s head sharply in
reply. “No weakness. And no mercy,” she psyched herself up. She stood up, squared her shoulders, and
took Pulaski’s arm. “Let’s go, Doctor.”
As the two
women marched away, Kathryn Janeway turned on Stephanie, a look of pure outrage
on her face. “That was harsh,” she
criticized.
Stephanie
smirked. “You may be her Captain, but
you obviously don’t know a damned thing about KT,” she shot back. “She is at her best when everyone and
everything is going to hell in a hand basket.
When things get bad, you heap more responsibility on her, and she will
only rise to the occasion faster and better.
She thrives on adversity. The
woman who comes back through that door will not be the broken shell of a woman
who walked out of here. You mark my
words, Captain. You’re going to see the
look that opponents cower in the face of, the sheer force of determination that
brought whole teams to their knees.
It’s terrifying, the way she can be so single-minded when the
circumstances dictate it. It’s why she
was always the best at everything she tried.
It’s why she’s going to be one of the best captains Starfleet will ever
have. And it’s why Captain Picard is
trying to get her for his first officer.”
Kathryn
thought Stephanie Moss was the most heartless bitch she had ever met.
___________________
While Kate
Pulaski explained all the medical technicalities to Naomi, letting the young
woman digest the information slowly, Kieran lifted Naomi gently out of bed and
sat down with Naomi curled in her lap.
They clung to each other while Pulaski described the aging process in
detail.
Naomi was
having none of that.
“How
long?” she demanded.
Kieran
interceded. “Kate thinks that you can
survive four, maybe five years,” she tried to sound optimistic. “But for the purposes of quality of life,
we’ve got maybe two years to do whatever you want to do,” Kieran added, trying
to smile.
Naomi’s
face fell. “Only two?” she was
stunned. “But I don’t feel that sick!
Are you sure?”
Pulaski
nodded. “Maybe less, Naomi. This is a very aggressive condition.”
Naomi let
the horrific truth sink in for a moment.
She blinked back tears, forcing them into submission. “So now what?” she asked meekly.
Kieran
kissed Naomi’s hair, certain her own pain would kill her where she sat. “Whatever you want, my beloved. You tell me, and we’ll do it.”
____________________
Kieran
Thompson emerged from the hospital ward a changed woman. Her jaw was set, her eyes smoldered with
intensity, her face was resolute. She
cleared her throat and the entire room hushed.
“Okay,
here’s how it’s going to be,” she stated in a tone that brooked no
argument. “Number one: from now on, Naomi gets whatever she wants,
whenever and however she wants it, no questions asked. She is my first and only priority. Number two: anyone who is not on board with
number one will become immediately expendable in our lives,” she fixed her glare
on her own mother, driving the point home.
“I don’t have time to convince, persuade, or argue. I have to pack a lifetime into the next two
years, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do for Naomi, because she deserves
more than I can ever give her. Number three: Naomi cannot take the emotional
strain of helping any of us deal with her illness. When you’re around her, I expect smiles, humor, and laughter,
even if it kills you. No long faces, no
heartfelt goodbyes. Fall apart on your
own time,” she emphasized. “Here’s what
Naomi wants for the immediate future.
For whatever reason, she wants to go to the Court Dedication Ceremony
and Exhibition Game tonight,” she detailed their plans. “Girls,” she turned to her teammates, “We
are going to win that game for Naomi. I
expect each of you to elevate your game.
No excuses. We will not lose
that damned game,” she ordered them.
“Naomi wants to leave for Indiana in the morning. I need everyone who can make it to come with
us, because she wants to have our wedding on Sunday, and that means tomorrow
and Saturday are all the time we have to plan it.”
Behind
Kieran, the medical staff was helping Naomi into an anti-grav chair, and
preparing to bring her into the lobby.
“KT,”
Stephanie whispered, “here she comes.”
“Right,”
Kieran slapped her hands together, making everyone jump. “Everyone stop looking so God damned sad,”
she demanded, plastering a smile on her face and turning to help open the doors
for her lover. The doors parted and the
anti-grav chair floated through them.
Kieran
knelt in the floor to be at eye level with her beloved. “Honey, are you comfortable?”
Naomi
forced a smile, nodding. “Nothing
hurts,” she confirmed. “But I’m not
going to like being in this chair--you’re too far away when you stand up,” she
sighed. “I should be able to retire it
by morning. Doctor P just wanted me to rest tonight,” she explained
apologetically.
“Too far
away,” Kieran grinned. “I can fix
that,” she stood up and stooped over.
“Put your arms around my neck,” she instructed, lifting the slight
Ktarian easily. She sat herself down
with Naomi in her lap, the Ktarian’s legs draped over the armrest. “Better?”
“Infinitely,”
Naomi sighed, leaning her head against Kieran’s shoulder. “How long until the game?”
Kieran
looked up at Annie Calicutt, who said
“Two hours. Long enough to eat
some dinner and get warmed up.”
Kieran
gazed up at Kathryn and Seven, who looked remarkably calm, considering they had
just heard a death sentence for their oldest child. “You two are sitting courtside with Naomi tonight, at the end of
the bench. You’ll take care of her for
me,” she stated, rather than asked.
“Of course
we will,” Seven smiled, resting her Borg enhanced hand on Naomi’s head.
_____________
The
Academy team never knew what hit them.
Kieran’s team played like they were twenty again, and Kieran’s personal
ferocity was a thinly veiled attempt to exorcise her own demons. She faked out her opponents, dunked over
everyone who got in her way, knocked down three pointers at will, and drew
three offensive fouls from the young women charging at her. She blocked their shots off the backboard
when they tried to lay it up, swatted the ball in midair when they shot from
long range, and seemed to be everywhere at once. It was an exhibition, but of the type that has less to do with
sports than with emotional catharsis.
Stephanie
Moss was rotated out of the game, and sat down next to Kathryn, grinning. “Told you so,” she smirked. “If she doesn’t
rip the damned rim down, I’ll be surprised,” she chuckled.
Karen
Weaver, also on the bench, leaned across Naomi. “How many has she scored now?”
Naomi
answered for her. “Thirty-seven. She
also has eighteen boards, seven blocks, five assists, and two steals. My money says she gets a triple-double, and
the scoring is over 45. Any bets?” she
grinned.
Stephanie
held up her hands. “Not from me. I’ll be surprised if she doesn’t get a
quadruple-double. The important thing
is, are you having fun?” she smiled warmly at her buddy’s fiancée.
Naomi
nodded happily. “I love watching her in
her element.”
Karen
nudged her. “Next time-out, tell her
you want her to get a quadruple-double, and let’s see how close she comes, just
because you asked.”
“Okay,”
Naomi nodded eagerly.
Seven of
Nine, having played basketball on Kieran’s team on Voyager, only smiled. “Naomi, try not to kill her.”
Stephanie
rolled her eyes. “Man, you spent the
last decade with her, and yet you have no clue how she is put together,” she
snorted disdainfully.
Kathryn
looked at the woman as if she were a distasteful insect. “What did you mean about Picard wanting
Kieran as his first officer?” she asked, plainly unaware that the offer had
been made.
“It’s
true, K-Mom. He asked her when we were
on Voyager, right after we arrived in the Alpha Quadrant,” Naomi said
proudly. “First Officer on the
flagship! Isn’t that great?”
Kathryn
forced a smile. “Quite an honor. But
Kieran is supposed to be my First Officer, not his,” Kathryn insisted. “Was she planning to mention it anytime
soon?”
Stephanie
gave Kathryn a warning look. “All due
respect, Sir, I think she’s probably had more important fish to fry, don’t you,
Captain?”
Kathryn
set aside her irritation. Naomi
shouldn’t have to deal with any conflict, least of all ship related ones. None of that was remotely relevant, now. “I suppose so,” she admitted.
Naomi
applauded wildly. “There’s her
triple-double,” she announced. “She
just blocked three shots in the same sequence,” she beamed with pride. “She is amazing.”
“She is
tonight,” Karen agreed. “I’ve never
seen her on fire like this, not even when we won the Championship. Have you, Mossy?”
“Nope. You inspire her, Naomi,” she rested a hand
on the smaller woman’s back. “I’ve also
never seen her so in love. Have you
Weaver?”
Karen
shook her head. “Not ever. She lights up like a Christmas tree whenever
you’re around,” she told Naomi. “It’s a
beautiful thing to see, too,” she added.
“KT deserves it. When we were in
school, her girlfriend was an ass,” she remembered P’Arth.
“She was
abusive,” Naomi said softly.
“Abusive
isn’t the half of it,” Stephanie scowled. “I wanted to kill her. I would’ve, too, but Kieran made us stay out
of it.”
Kathryn
was eavesdropping on every word.
“When they
finally broke up, it was like KT just woke up from a coma, or something. Best thing that ever happened to her—until
you,” Stephanie amended, indicating Naomi.
Naomi
stood momentarily, clapping and cheering as the team came to the huddle for
time out.
Kieran
bent down to her beloved, kissing her cheek.
“How do we look?”
Naomi
hugged her around the neck. “Like
professionals,” she opined. “KT--you
can get a quadruple- double, if you can log five more assists,” she pointed
out. “I’ve never heard of anyone ever
doing that, have you?”
Kieran
shrugged, wiping a towel over her shoulders.
“It’s probably been done. But
never at the Academy. It won’t count
though, because it’s not a real game.
You want to see it, though, don’t you?”
Naomi smiled, nodding enthusiastically, filling her eyes with the sight of her
lover, chest glistening with sweat, hair soaked, and the shiny little heart she
wore around her neck catching the overhead lights.
“Okay,
sweetie, I’ll do my best. Hey—I love
you,” she winked at the strawberry blonde as she jogged back out on the court.
She
gathered in her team. “I need five
assists, ladies,” she said ‘ladies’ with a snotty, insulting air. “You better start hitting your shots every
time I pass you the ball, or I’ll shoot over you and flatten you,” she
threatened, teasing. “Let’s score a few
for Jonesy.”
That was
all they needed to hear.
_________________
Kieran was
trying to make her way to the sideline after the game, but kept getting
way-laid by the Academy players, autograph hounds, reporters, and a group of
men in suits.
“I’m from
the WNBA,” one suit said in her face, “and we need to talk about your future,”
he hollered over the crowd.
“Not
interested,” Kieran shoved by him.
Another
suit accosted her. “We’ve got ideas for
a shoe ad campaign, and we’d like to contact your agent,” he invited.
“Don’t
have one,” she replied, still trying to get to Naomi.
“Kieran!”
another voice insisted. “Any plans to
visit your exhibit at the hall of fame?”
“Nope,”
Kieran called back. “I’m getting
married Sunday. That’s all I’m thinking
about, now.”
She
finally made it to Naomi who stood from her anti-grav chair and hugged her with
what strength she had left. “That was
some show, KT,” she murmured in her ear.
“Yeah? Well, it was all for you,” she said, hugging
Naomi close. “You feel so good, Na,” she murmured. “Listen, are you sure you want to finish out this gig? The reception is going to run late, and
we’ve got a big day tomorrow.”
Naomi
nodded. “I’m feeling reasonably good,”
she smiled reassurance to her lover.
“I’d like to go to this reception—there are going to be so many of your
friends who want to see you again, and I’d hate for you to miss it. Besides, I hear the banquet hall has tuxedo
cake to die for.”
Kieran
smiled down at her, then thinking better of it, eased her down in the
chair. “I have to shower, but it’ll
only take five minutes, I promise. Come
to the locker room with me, and get out of this mob,” she took Naomi’s hand.
Admiral
Brand headed the two women off at the locker room.
“Kieran,”
the Admiral took her hands, hugging her lightly. “That was fantastic. We
really appreciate your taking the time to be here for this.”
Kieran
smiled. “How could I say no and
disappoint my biggest fan?” she indicated Naomi.
The
Admiral introduced herself to Naomi, and the women walked into the locker room,
flanking Naomi’s anti-grav chair.
“I have a
favor to ask, Commander,” the Admiral was saying as they entered the dressing
area. “There are going to be some VIPs
at your reception, and some members of the press, not to mention a few
potential students that we’d like very much to recruit. We—the administrators of the Academy, I
mean—were hoping that even though you’re on leave, and not acting in any
official capacity for Starfleet, that you’d wear your uniform. We’d like people to know that your ties are
still to the institution.”
Kieran
smiled. “Of course, Admiral. Happy to do it. Is there anything else?
You know I’ll do whatever I can to help put the school in a favorable
light.”
“It would
be wonderful if you could sign some autographs. I know it’s a lot to ask, but—”
Kieran
forestalled her apology. “It’s
perfectly fine with me. My only
stipulation is that when Naomi gets tired, I need to leave with her.”
The
Admiral nodded. “I understand. Kathryn told me about Naomi’s condition, and
I’m so sorry for you both. I also heard
you’re getting married this Sunday.
Congratulations.”
Kieran
swallowed the lump in her throat. “Yes,
we are. Thank you, Admiral,” she shook
her hand. “Oh—Admiral? Should I wear dress whites, or my regular
uniform?”
Brand
smiled warmly. “Please replicate an
updated style uniform, not formal.
Thank you for this, Kieran. I
don’t need to tell you how depleted the pool of applicants has been since the
war. A high profile person like you
could really help enrollment.”
“This
school has been very, very good to me,” Kieran replied sincerely. “I’ll always do whatever I can to help, you
know that.”
______________
The
banquet hall of the Intergalactic Suites had security posted at the entrance,
and only those with invitations were allowed in. When Kieran and Naomi got to the entrance, the security guard
broke protocol and actually smiled.
“Commander,”
he held out his hand, “outstanding performance tonight. Please, come right in.”
Kieran
shook his hand, since it obviously meant something to him. “Thanks.
This is my fiancée, she’s with me,” she explained.
He bowed
politely. “Of course, please, come in.”
Naomi
giggled. “You’d think you were a member
of royalty,” she teased her lover.
Kieran
laughed. “You’d think. Are you hungry?”
“Famished,”
Naomi replied. “I hate being clear down
here when you’re way up there,” she complained. “But I don’t think I have the energy to walk, either,” she
mentioned.
Kieran
bent over and scooped Naomi up in her arms, helping herself to a seat with
Naomi firmly on her lap. “Good enough?”
“I love it
when you pick me up like that,” Naomi murmured. “I feel so protected.”
Kieran
buried her agonized expression in Naomi’s hair, kissing the soft tresses with
every ounce of tenderness she possessed.
“I love doing it. You are
protected, love.”
__________________
Wesley Crusher and the Traveler were guests of the banquet, although the
Traveler had no idea until the game what basketball was or why anyone would
care about it. Wesley had eagerly
described the rules and the reason why Kieran was considered such a phenomenal
player, compared to other athletes. The
Traveler had only nodded, pretending to understand. Kieran waved at them from Naomi’s anti-grav chair, and they came
over to say hello.
Will Riker
and Deanna Troi stopped by to lend their support to Naomi, and to congratulate
the young couple on their wedding.
“It is so
strange to finally be with you,” Naomi hugged the Counselor, smiling. “I’m sorry I didn’t get much chance to talk
to you at the dinner party on the Enterprise.
Your holographic counterpart has been my therapist forever,” she
confided. “You’re much prettier in
person,” she added.
Deanna was
pleased at the praise. “The downloads I
got from Voyager proved quite interesting,” she admitted. “I wish I had been the one to treat you
after Restid Three. Your experiences
there sounded fascinating.”
“Definitely
a mixed blessing,” Naomi decided. “My
illness is a result of that experience, though we’re not sure exactly what
about it made me start to age. But if I
hadn’t aged so quickly, Kieran and I wouldn’t be getting married. If I had it to do over again, I’d do it the
same,” she decided.
Kieran
gazed fondly at her fiancée. “Na,” she
kissed her cheek, still holding the Ktarian on her lap. “I can’t believe you’d do this again,
knowing—well,” she almost lost her composure.
“I can’t believe you think I’m worth it,” she said softly.
Naomi
hugged her. “I wouldn’t trade this time
with you for anyone or anything,” she assured her beloved.
“Well,”
Deanna smiled at them both, “it sounds to me as if your priorities are in
order. Will and I will see you Sunday,
if you’re going to invite us,” she grinned.
“Deanna,”
he rolled his eyes. “Couldn’t you at
least wait for the invitation, instead of fishing for one?”
“It’s
okay, Captain,” Kieran assured him. “Of
course you’re invited. I remember
Deanna was going to stand up with me at my wedding—remember?” she asked the
dark-haired Betazed.
“Robin
Lefler. How could I forget?” Deanna’s
face darkened. “Thank goodness you’ve
developed better taste since then,” she laughed. “You heard she’s just graduated from the Counselor Training
program?”
Kieran
nodded. “That’s an about-face, isn’t
it? Robin fixing problems instead of creating
them,” she laughed at her own joke.
Will
chuckled quietly. “Robin Lefler. Now there’s a piece of work,” he
agreed. “I hear Picard is actually
considering her for Deanna’s old job.
But then, I hear he offered you my old job, too.”
Kieran
grinned. “Like I could ever follow an
act like yours,” she flattered the former First Officer. “But I was honored that he considered me.”
“You mean
you didn’t accept the job? Are you
nuts?” Riker demanded incredulously.
“I have
other plans, for now. My career is
going to have to wait. Naomi and I have
a lot to do, places to go and things to see.
I’ve just spent twelve years wandering the Delta Quadrant. Surely
Starfleet knows the last thing I’m going to want is to jump back on a ship and
warp off to some other solar system,” she protested.
Will bit
his tongue. “I know they need you, but
I also understand why you’re not ready to saddle up again. Kieran,” he said seriously, squatting beside
Naomi’s chair, “if for some reason things don’t work out for you with Picard,
please, check with me before you take some other posting. I have an opening, and damn, I’d kill for a
decent candidate to fill it.”
Kieran lay
her hand on his shoulder. “I appreciate
the thought, but I really don’t plan on being back in uniform for a couple of
years, Will. I’ll tell you who I think
you should look at, though. I’d like to
introduce you to Harry Kim. He’s a
friend from Voyager. I think you two
would work well together, and Harry will be finishing up his command track training
within a couple of months of returning to duty. I highly recommend him.”
Will
grinned. “I’ll take all the help I can
get. Will he be at your wedding?”
“Most
likely,” Kieran affirmed. “I’ll put the
two of you together then, and you can interview him. He’s a good man, Will, and he deserves a shot with a mentor who
can really bring out the best in him.
You fit the bill,” she advised.
“Thanks
for the referral, KT. Well, we’d better
be going. It looks like people are
stacking up waiting for your time,” he squeezed her shoulder and kissed her
cheek. “Tonight was the most amazing
game I’ve ever seen,” he said softly.
“And your future wife is lovely.
Congratulations.”
________________
Kieran
signed autographs until there were no more requests. She talked to Admirals and potential recruits, fans and former
crewmates, old friends from Enterprise, and when she was so tired she didn’t
think she could sit still another minute, she excused herself to take Naomi
back to their room.
Naomi had
been talking quietly with Kathryn, Seven, Phoebe, and her grandmother. It was the first time they had been alone as
a family since getting the grim diagnosis.
Naomi held Seven’s hand, trying to lend reassurance to her Borg mother.
“It’s
going to be okay,” she told them all.
“It’s not as much time as I would like, but it could be worse. And Kieran will make it wonderful, I know
she will. And I can die happy, because
you all loved me in this life, and what else can I really take with me, besides
love?” she reasoned.
Phoebe was
on the verge of tears. “I just feel so
cheated,” she murmured. “I just got to
know you, just found out how much I do love you,” she explained. “I wanted to take you to my loft in Paris,
show you the city, the Eiffel tower, the Louvre, my gallery,” she said
bitterly.
“Aunt
Phoebe,” Naomi hugged her. “You can
still do those things. Kieran and I
would love to come to Paris. We’re
going to travel after the honeymoon, and we’ll make it one of many stops. I think, if you’re going to be in Paris
after our wedding, I’d like to borrow your farmhouse for a few days. It would be really romantic, to be with
Kieran in Indiana--swim in the pond everyday, walk the fields, climb in Gran’s
apple orchard.”
Phoebe’s
face showed her dismay. “Naomi, I wish you could, but—damn, Mom, I’ve been
meaning to tell you this, but I just didn’t have the heart,” she stammered.
Gretchen
Janeway’s plump face warmed into a gentle smile. “Tell me what honey? That
you’re going to have to sell the farmhouse?”
Phoebe’s
eyes widened. “How did you know?”
“I’m your
mother. I know when things aren’t going
well with my children. And I’d help you
if I could, you know that. But I don’t
have the funds to help keep you afloat.”
Phoebe
blushed, humiliated. She explained to
them that her last show at the gallery in Paris had not gone well. Her latest works had been panned by the
critics, and her sales had been almost non-existent. “I can’t keep the loft and the farmhouse. Since I’m almost always in Paris, well, what
choice do I really have?”
Gretchen
nodded. “You can always stay with me,
when you want to visit. Kathryn and
Seven are going to be in the guesthouse for the foreseeable future, but your
old room is still there,” she promised her daughter.
“I may
have to sell the gallery,” Phoebe admitted.
“Which means I’d be back to exhibiting in other people’s galleries, and
forking over hefty commissions to them for sales of my work. I hate to even think about it. Maybe I need to get a real job,” she joked,
trying to feel better about it. “But
enough of my troubles. Naomi, I can
hang onto the house awhile longer, for you and for Kieran. I’ll figure out a way. I want to give you the honeymoon you
want. It’ll be my wedding present.”
Naomi had
loved her Aunt the moment they met, and it pained her deeply to see her in
financial distress. She kissed Phoebe’s
cheek, brain churning. “You know, Aunt
Phoebe, I might just have the solution,” she realized suddenly. “I can buy the farmhouse from you.”
Kathryn
and Seven smiled to themselves. “With
what, young lady?” Kathryn asked skeptically.
“A pocketful of good intentions?”
Naomi
scowled playfully at her mother.
“No. With the huge wad of money
in my account, smarty pants,” she stuck her tongue out at Kathryn. “Look, I don’t know anything about real
estate, or money, or anything else, but the clerk at the campus bookstore who
showed me how to access my bank account told me I’m rich. My biological mother’s assets all went to me,
plus her life insurance pay out. I don’t
have a frame of reference, but the clerk said it’s a ton of money. Let me do this, Aunt Phoebe. Will you look over my account, and tell me
if it’s enough?”
Phoebe
glanced from Naomi to her sister.
“Naomi, I really don’t think--”
“Please,
Aunt Phoebe. I’ll will the title back
to you, and in two years, the house will be yours again. I can’t think of a better use for the money,
and I’m not going to be around long enough to spend it,” Naomi insisted.
Kathryn
fixed Phoebe with a firm gaze, nodding.
“Look over her account, Phoebe.
You remember what Kieran said.
Whatever Naomi wants, she gets.”
“Come on,”
Naomi said excitedly, “there’s a workstation by the public restrooms. We can uplink from there.”
__________________
While
Naomi was off orchestrating her first home purchase, Kieran was laughing with
Kathryn and Seven.
“She’s
buying a house?” Kieran was amused.
“God, what next? A passel of
kids to fill it?”
Kathryn
smirked. “You said anything she wants,
Kato. What if she wants to have a baby
before she dies?”
Kieran’s
face fell. “Oh, Christ, anything but
that,” she groaned.
Seven
cocked her head to one side. “Would you
do it, if that’s what she wanted?”
Kieran
shook her head, daunted by the prospect.
“I wouldn’t want to be raising kids as a single parent,” she
contended. “I want to make her last
years happy, but I might have to draw the line at agreeing to have a family she
won’t be around to raise,” Kieran was perturbed at the notion. “It would be unfair to the children. Don’t you think?”
Naomi and
Phoebe came upon them, catching the tail end of the conversation.
“Yes, it
would be unfair, and I would never, ever do that to you,” Naomi said, offended
at the mere suggestion. “I’m not
selfish enough to think we have time for a family, and I’ll get over knowing
that I never can, though Kahless knows, I’d love to see what our children would
look like,” she sounded far away.
Kieran
leaned over to kiss her beloved hello.
“I think we were just playing ‘what if’, that’s all,” she explained. “Are you really going to buy Phoebe’s
house?”
Phoebe
smiled with relief. She had been
worried Kieran might try to talk Naomi out of it. “If Naomi really wants to, she has enough money to buy it--about
three or four times, in fact.”
Kieran
whistled. “You never told me you’re a
bazillionaire, Na,” she teased, kneeling at the edge of her chair.
Naomi
laughed. “I was afraid you’d only marry
me for my money,” she joked, “because that sort of thing is so important to
you.” She leaned her head on Kieran’s
shoulder. “I’m going to buy it, and we
can have our honeymoon in it. I’ll will
it back to Phoebe, so that when I die, she won’t lose the house. Do I need a prenuptial agreement with you to
guarantee that’s what happens?”
Kieran
shook her head. “Not as I understand
the law. You just need a will that says
the house goes to Phoebe, and it needs to specify that she has sole right to
the house.”
Naomi
sighed tiredly. “Okay then. I think I’m about spent for one night, KT,”
she sounded pathetic. “Can we bow out
now?”
__________________
Kieran and
Naomi rode up to their room, both seated in the anti-grav chair. Naomi dozed off while they were riding
along, and Kieran closed her eyes against the gnawing grief that threatened her
composure. She made herself think of
Stephanie Moss, of all the things she told Kieran. Her mantra became “show no mercy to yourself”. There would be plenty of time to fall apart
after Naomi was gone.
Once they
were sequestered away, Kieran shed her uniform, stuffing it into the recycler
on the ‘no replenish’ setting. “I won’t
be needing that for a long time,” she muttered, watching the clothing
disappear.
“Na?” she asked softly, standing there in her
underwear.
“Yes?”
Naomi sat patiently in her chair, watching her lover.
“What do
you want to do after the wedding?” Kieran asked softly, moving toward the frail
Ktarian and lifting her out of her chair.
She lay her on their bed as gently as she could, propping her up on
pillows.
Naomi
pulled Kieran down with her, kissing her and ignoring the plaintive
question. They kissed feverishly until
their mouths ached with exhaustion, their passion searing in its need to be
fulfilled.
They made
love slowly, deliberately, each intent upon the other, each conscious of how
little time they might have left together.
Every interaction had to be perfect, if it could potentially be their
last. No room for haste or
carelessness. All things in due
time. All interaction savored and
cherished.
There was
such incredible focus on every detail, Kieran realized. The way Naomi’s lips brushed over Kieran’s
throat with that delicious pout, the paleness of her skin against Kieran’s
darker complexion, the tiny, vulnerable shoulders where Kieran’s lips longed to
be, all of it burned into Kieran’s mind.
She kissed and studied Naomi’s fingers, fingers that could caress,
tease, transport. Slender and perfectly
proportioned, Kieran kissed each fingertip in turn, memorizing the lines and
coloration and sinews.
She loved
every inch of Naomi’s body, committing to memory every taste, texture, smell,
and every sound elicited by her touch.
Her chest ached with tenderness, throat closed with love, and tears
threatened more than once. Naomi was
dying. And nothing Kieran did could
change that.
They lay
together afterward, curled intimately around one another, sated but saddened by
the reality of their situation.
Naomi
snuggled into Kieran’s shoulder, letting the Counselor cuddle her. “I want to spend a few days in Indiana,
after the wedding. I need some time
alone with you, and the farmhouse is in an isolated part of the agricultural
park where Gran and Phoebe live. It’s a
short walk to Gran’s, so I can see the Moms and Geejay if I want to. I’ve had such plans to be there, and I know
they’re going to be abbreviated plans, but I still want to spend some time
there. Then I’d like to go to Florida
to stay with your folks, see the manatee preserve, maybe do some diving with
you, if I’m up to it. Doctor Pulaski
seemed to think I’ll get my energy back pretty quickly, and the anti-grav chair
is temporary, so I’d like to see the coral reef you’ve been talking about,” she
sighed, exhausted from making love.
Kieran
held her possessively, as if fate might be lurking in the room with them. “Whatever you want, honey,” she promised.
“What I
don’t want,” Naomi trailed her fingers over Kieran’s belly, “is for you to stop
living after I die. I want you to find
love, fulfill your career aspirations, have your own ship—whatever your heart
desires. And I don’t want this illness
of mine to stop you from taking that job on the Enterprise, if that’s
ultimately where you want to be. You
need to talk to Picard, and find out how long you can take to decide,” she
encouraged. “I don’t want you to miss
out because of me.”
“Now wait
a minute,” Kieran sat up, easing out of Naomi’s arms. “We agreed when Pulaski talked to us that we would take the next
two years and just be together. The
hell with Enterprise. The last
thing I want to do is miss a minute with you because I’m diddling with some
fucking duty roster or departmental reports.
When the time comes, love, somebody will give me a job. Two years is not going to end my career, and
I would be totally ineffective, if I tried to take a post and ended up
neglecting you. I’ll resign my
commission before I’ll lose a nanosecond of the time we have left,” she was
adamant, her face working as if she might cry.
Naomi sat
up, too, and studied her for a long time.
“Kieran,” she finally said, “I don’t know why you think you can’t show
me how awful you’re feeling, but I see it in your eyes. You can’t pretend to be impervious, and you
don’t have to protect me. Please, don’t
try to hide from me. We’ve never shied
from our emotions, and I need to know yours,” she leaned her forehead against
Kieran’s. “The thought of losing you—of
losing us—it’s tearing me up, honey,” she admitted, tears filling her
eyes. “If you can’t cry, how can I? How can I put that added burden on you?”
“Oh, Na,”
Kieran grabbed her. “I’m sorry. I thought I was being what you needed, I
thought you needed me to be impervious.
I—feel so lost,” she started to break down. “I can’t imagine my life without you,” she added, her heart
breaking. “I need you so much, I just
don’t know how I’ll be able to do this, if you’re not here. My God,” she shook with the force of her
fear and her sadness, “don’t leave me,” she cried. “Please, don’t,” she begged.
“Honey,”
Naomi held her then, both women crying in earnest, “I feel the same. I don’t want to go,” she bawled. “I just want to be in your arms, and wake up
next to you every day. I want to have a
family with you, and watch you get your first command, and be your chief
engineer,” she let it all pour out, all the shattered dreams and futile hopes,
all the secret plans that had kept her awake at night with pure joy.
They clung
to one another as if they were drowning, overwhelmed by the magnitude of the
loss they faced, neither having a clue how to regain any sense of
equilibrium. When the initial shock was
vented, they calmed and lay back down together, holding each other well into
the night. Kieran finally started to
laugh softly.
“What’s
funny?” Naomi peered into her eyes, smiling.
“Me. I’m afraid to go to sleep,” she admitted
ruefully. “I don’t want to miss
anything.”
Naomi
laughed. “Me either. I just love being with you so much. All those years I spent wishing you and I
could be like this,” she kissed Kieran gently.
“Like
this? You mean naked?” Kieran tickled
her briefly.
“That
too,” she agreed. “But mostly, when I
was a kid, I just wanted you to hold me.
The times you did, like after I was kidnapped and you spent the night
with me, I just got addicted to the feeling of lying in your arms. When I would fantasize about you, it was
always just that—us holding each other, lying in bed together.”
Kieran
enfolded her tighter. “You never
thought about making love with me?”
“I did,
eventually, but not until the last couple of years, I didn’t. I just couldn’t really imagine it, until
Restid Three, and then I not only could imagine it, I could feel it, taste it,
ache for it. And you were with
B’Elanna, and I just wanted to flush myself out an airlock. I never begrudged her your love, but I loved
you so much, and I just couldn’t stand thinking you and I would never have this
together. That’s how I wrote so many
laments on the piano,” she laughed.
“All my misery and woe and unrequited love.”
Kieran
kissed her hair, breathing the aroma of her skin. “Honey, it was never unrequited.
I have always loved you. You’ve
always been the constant in my life, whether you were my friend or my
lover. If you had been an adult, and I
had met you before I loved B’Elanna, there is no question in my mind that I
would have pursued you romantically. No question at all. You’re everything I ever wanted, more than I
could have deserved, and more than I ever hoped for. I will love you as long as I live.”
Naomi
sighed, happy for the moment. “We
should either sleep, or talk about the wedding,” she decided it was time to get
to business. “I think the best thing we
can do, given our circumstances, is live as normal a life as we can. We should act as though we have all the time
in the world, but make sure we do the really important things, just in case.”
Kieran
nodded. “I think we should hold out
hope, too. Kate Pulaski is the best
doctor I’ve ever met. If anyone can
figure out a treatment, she’s the one.
And I know she will leave no stone unturned. She lives for these sorts of medical dilemmas, and she won’t rest
until she knows every option has been looked at.”
They fell
silent for the moment, gathering their inner strength, daring to hope, even if
only a little. “I love you, Kieran,”
Naomi said softly. “And you were
amazing tonight. I just love seeing you
in your element, in charge and taking no prisoners. I wish I could’ve known you when you were in school. I feel so cheated because I’ve only had a
few years to be with you, and there are so many things I want to know.”
“All you
ever need to do is ask,” she assured her.
“Okay. How does it feel to have dozens of little
kids clamor for your autograph, just so they can be near you for a few fleeting
seconds?” Naomi’s eyes twinkled with adoration for her partner.
“It’s
funny. When little kids want that
attention from me, I feel so flattered.
But when adults fawn over me, it embarrasses me. I feel like I need to apologize to them for
their misconception that I’m something special,” she laughed. “I know that’s silly, because they’re
entitled to their perceptions, but it feels really, really weird,” she
chuckled. “But you know what is the
absolute weirdest?”
Naomi
giggled, loving hearing Kieran talk about it. “No. What?”
“When
somebody I totally admire comes up and says they want my autograph. That just makes my head spin. I’ve had celebrities, superior officers,
other athletes—it just feels like I should bow to them and profess my own
admiration, not the other way around,” she laughed brightly.
“Who asked
you that you most admired, that made you feel the most bizarre?” she wanted to
know.
“Probably
Captain Picard,” she admitted, “although Admiral Nechayev was a close
second. I wouldn’t expect either of
them to be interested in basketball, let alone have a hero from the sport.”
“Is that
what it means, when someone wants your autograph? You’re their hero?” Naomi was perplexed.
“Well,
that’s what it means to a kid. But with an adult, I think it’s different. It’s like, they want a piece of me, somehow,
a memento of meeting me. That in and of
itself is a difficult concept for me to grasp,” she chuckled. “So you had fun at the game?”
“I don’t
know if fun describes it. More like I
was just in awe. I heard you blow off
that pro scout. Wouldn’t you like to
play pro ball?” she was mesmerized, thinking about the prospect. “All those fans screaming for you every
night, all the fame and money and commercial endorsements?”
Kieran
smiled. “Can you see me, being a public
figure like that?”
“You
already are, like it or not, KT,” she correctly pointed out.
“Na,”
Kieran kissed her forehead, “if you told me you wanted me to play pro ball, I’d
get myself an agent in the morning and I’d sign a contract. I swear.”
“I know,”
Naomi kissed her cheek. “Thank you for
caring about what’s important to me.”
“Always—and
only you,” Kieran affirmed. “I can’t
wait to see the farm. I’m so excited I
may not be able to sleep,” she reported, hugging her lover close.
“Well,
then, maybe I’d better wear you out some more,” Naomi flirted.
“Oh
really?” Kieran challenged. “Like I’m
even capable of a response?”
“I think I
can make you respond,” she bragged, moving on top of her lover. “Let’s find out.”
___________________
The
rolling farmlands of Indiana stretched beneath them like an emerald quilt, with
a patchwork of soil brown and pavement black thrown in occasionally for good
measure. The transport from
Indianapolis to Bloomington slowed to give its passengers a better view of the
landscape before making its descent to the agricultural park. Naomi was glued to the window, watching the
trees as they came into focus, scanning the area for a glimpse of the
farmhouses where her grandmother and Phoebe lived.
“We’re on
county road 17,” Gretchen told the pilot.
“Half a mile from the old mill.”
The pilot
nodded. “Yes, Ma’am. I’ll be glad to help you get your luggage,”
he offered as they sped down the road.
“Not
necessary,” Gretchen advised, “but thanks just the same.” Her silvery curls plumped with the humidity,
and she breathed a sigh of relief to be home.
“I love this land,” she said to no one in particular. “It’s nice to visit the big cities, but it’s
nicer to come home.”
Naomi took
her hand. “It’s beautiful here,
Gran. Kieran and I want to thank you
for letting us have the wedding at your place.”
“Honey,”
Gretchen cupped her cheek in a wizened hand, “I’m happy to do it,” she leaned
closer to speak privately. “I was a
little worried that you’re getting married so young, but I love Kieran. She already feels like part of the
family. And I know for certain she loves
you. She made that pretty clear
yesterday, when she laid it on the line for all of us at the hospital,” she
chuckled, her ample bosom shaking as she laughed.
Naomi’s
eyes lit up. “Why? What did she say?” she whispered
conspiratorially.
Gretchen
glanced over at Kieran, who was in an involved discussion with Seven about the
wedding. Gretchen quirked an eyebrow
and repeated the lecture Stephanie Moss had given Kieran, and the speech Kieran
had given the rest of them. “I think it
qualified as an ass chewing,” Gretchen’s face was alight with mirth. “And she was right. We were all acting like babies.” The elder Janeway hugged Naomi to her. “I don’t need to tell you, any doubts I had
about her went right out the window.
I’m happy for you, Naomi. And I
love you. I’m so glad I can finally
tell you in person,” she smiled grandly.
“I can’t
believe she stood up to her mother like that,” Naomi breathed. “She usually lets the woman walk on
her. I like that bit about people
becoming expendable,” she said quietly so Kieran’s parents couldn’t hear.
“Mrs.
Thompson’s eyes about bugged out of her head, all right,” Gretchen
reported. “I don’t think we’ve heard
the last squawk from her, either,” she predicted. “But I think your partner will put her in her place.”
Naomi
leaned into her grandmother, trying to identify all the smells that made up
what was uniquely Gretchen’s scent. She
identified hand lotion, a faint cologne, and something sweet and inviting, she
wasn’t quite sure what. Gretchen’s
embrace felt to Naomi like Samantha Wildman’s embrace had
felt—unconditionally
loving, forgiving, nurturing. Naomi
loved her already, and hated the idea of making the woman worry. She sighed with contentment.
“Are you
okay, honey?” Gretchen asked, looking into her granddaughter’s eyes.
“I’m
better than okay,” she agreed. “I love
you, Gran,” she hugged her.
Gretchen’s
eyes misted momentarily. “I love you,
too,” she squeezed her hard. “There’s
the house,” she pointed down the road past the corn fields.
“It’s so
big,” Naomi murmured. “Look at the size
of that porch,” she couldn’t wait to sit on it and drink lemonade. “It’s lovely, Gran,” she enthused, already
heading for the transport door.
As soon as
they came to a stop, Naomi, forgetting how tired she felt and disdaining her
anti-grav chair, shot out the door and ran to the porch, turning to look out
over the fields of corn and soybeans, lush and green in the almost summer
sun. She breathed deeply, smelling
recent rain in the soil, the pine trees around the house, and the roses that
grew around the porch.
Everyone
else was busy dragging luggage off the top rack of the bus, but Kieran stood
watching her bride-to-be, delighting in the delirious look of joy on her
face. Kathryn caught Kieran staring at
Naomi, and stopped to look, too.
“She’s the
most beautiful creature in this universe,” Kieran sighed, thinking Kathryn
hadn’t heard. Her brown eyes registered
lancing pain for a split second.
Kathryn
put an arm around her. “She’s young,
and very much in love. Please, Kato,
promise me you won’t wander off so far with her that Seven and I won’t see her
at all.”
“I’ll do
whatever she wants to do, Kat. All I
care about is seeing that incredible smile,” she said with a catch in her
voice. “But don’t worry. Naomi wants to spend part of our honeymoon
right here, so she can spend time with her family. And we want you and Seven to come with us to Florida. I promise, Kat, you won’t be left out of her
life. She loves you too much for that.”
Kathryn
dug the toe of her shoe into the dirt, not meeting Kieran’s eyes. “There’s a lot I need to be forgiven
for. I need to make my peace with her
before—anything happens,” she finished lamely.
Kieran
shaded her eyes to get a better view of Naomi, who was banging through the
screen door and into the farmhouse for a tour.
“Do it now, Kat. Don’t
wait. Say everything you need to say to
clear the air. I think you’ll find she
holds no grudges.”
“And what
about you?” Kathryn asked softly.
Kieran
smirked. “I’m a lot tougher,” she
admitted. “But if Naomi can forgive you
for trying to break us up, so can I.
Still, you have to promise when the justice of the peace gets to the
part where he lets anyone object to the marriage, you won’t stand up and start
rifling off reasons why I can’t marry your daughter,” she prescribed.
“Scout’s
honor, I won’t oppose you. Given the
circumstances, I think getting married is the right thing for you to do. I had hoped for a long engagement, but
that’s not possible.”
Kieran
eyed her warily. “Why a long
engagement?”
Kathryn
shrugged. “To give me time to get used
to the idea of Naomi growing up, I suppose.
Not to mention that I need time to adjust to being your mother-in-law,”
she laughed.
“You’re my
Captain,” Kieran pointed out, “it’s not like you could get much more demanding,
unreasonable, or bossy,” she needled the older woman.
“Point
taken,” Kathryn conceded.
Kathryn dragged luggage into the mudroom of the farmhouse, laboring under the weight of too much sentimentality and extravagances that had no place in a Starfleet life. Kieran shouldered an even larger load, without complaint.
“Need some help, Kat?” she asked pleasantly as she deposited her burden on the floor.
“No,” Kathryn snapped, her mood suddenly testy, “I've got it. You know, for someone who was just given a death sentence for her fiancée, you're awfully God damned cheerful,
Commander.”
Kieran stared at her in disbelief, stunned at her abrupt alteration in mood. “Well, pardon me all to hell, Captain, I'll see if I can't be as pleasant as you,” she shot back. “Excuse me, I need to see to Naomi.”
Kathryn barely resisted the urge to hurl something blunt at the back of the woman's head as she left the mudroom.
Kathryn entered the living room as if she had just left the turbo lift to her bridge. “Everyone listen up,” she said imperiously. “Mom, I need you to contact Willard Carson, and that attorney you used for Daddy's estate. Naomi needs a will for Phoebe's house, a marriage license, and whatever else I haven't thought of. Phoebe, you need to go dig out the deed to the house, the mortgage papers, your title, and any other documents they gave you at closing. Then I need you both to figure out what we're going to do for caterers, chair rentals, flowers...Seven will help you with all that,” she issued directives as if she were addressing subordinate officers.
“Now hold on a minute, Captain,” Gretchen said sarcastically, planting her hands on her hips.
“This isn't your starship, and you can't just give out orders. Who died and made you God, Kathryn?”
“Somebody has to organize this crew,” she retorted angrily. “I'm trying to do what I do best.”
Phoebe scowled at her sister. “We are not your crew, and I think Queens died out in 1776, your majesty. Who put the stick up your ass, anyway?”
“Stick?” Kathryn sputtered. “I—oh, the hell with you both,” she stormed out of the house.
Gretchen looked at Phoebe and Phoebe looked at her mother. “I think somebody is having a tough time adjusting to life planetside,” Gretchen shook her head. “I ought to cut a good long switch and take it to her fanny.”
“Mom,” Phoebe warned, “I think you'd better go talk to her. She isn't handling this transition very well, and really, who can blame her, with Naomi sick again?”
Gretchen sighed. “You're right. I'm being impatient. I'll talk to her.”
Gretchen Janeway found her eldest daughter in the orchard, kicking at the fruit that had fallen off the trees in the last thunderstorm. She watched for quite awhile, noting that in spite of the fit Kathryn was throwing, her irritation didn't seem to be abating in the least. In fact, her face only got redder and her body language more hostile.
“If you want applesauce,” she smarted, “I have some in the pantry. You don't have to make your own and ruin your shoes,” she smiled at her.
“Is that supposed to be funny, Mother?” Kathryn spun on the elder Janeway.
“Depends on your perspective, I imagine,” she supplied. “Kathryn, why don't you talk to me, instead of wearing yourself out in a tizzy?”
“What is there to say? My command is gone, my future is uncertain, my daughter is dying, and my best friend is hell bent on wasting what time Naomi has left with this farce of a marriage,” she spat the words.
“Honey,” Gretchen touched her sleeve, “this is what Naomi wants. Is that so hard to understand? And are you going to hold it against Kieran for granting her last wishes?”
Kathryn jerked her arm free and resumed her methodical annihilation of the apples lying around the orchard. “I hold a lot of things against her, and that's the tip of the iceberg.”
Iceberg. Sinking in the Tau Ceti Ocean. Tell her. It was your fault. You let them both die. Trapped in the fuselage, water pouring in, breathing it, gagging on it, water and ice and blood and…
“Kathryn?” Gretchen said softly.
“What?” Kathryn's head came up so abruptly she startled her mother into jumping back a foot.
“I said you need to let it go, for now. Whatever issues you and Kieran have can wait. This is Naomi's time.”
“Right,” Kathryn nodded, grimacing.
“Are you feeling all right, honey?” she lay her hand on Kathryn's forehead, checking for fever.
“For God's sake, Mother,” Kathryn shoved her aside, “I'm not six. I'm fine,” she tramped back up the orchard path, oblivious to the fact that she'd sent her own elderly mother sprawling.
Gretchen Janeway kept herself from falling by grasping a tree limb, though she skinned both palms in the effort. Kathryn was already out of sight.
When she got back to the house, she washed the blood and bark from the wounds, applied an antibacterial wash to the abraded tissue, and gave Phoebe a meaningful look.
“You keep an eye on your sister,” she said darkly. “Especially when she's with the baby. That girl is not right. You tell me if she does anything that is questionable, do you understand me, Phoebe?”
“Of course I will, Mom. God, what happened to your hands?”
“Kathryn damn near pushed me down.”
Phoebe's eyes widened. “I'll kill her,” she turned to do just that.
Gretchen grabbed Phoebe's arm. “No. Just watch her, honey. Something is amiss, and I intend to find out what. Get Seven in here. I want to know if she's noticed how oddly Kathryn is behaving.”
Confronted
by her wife’s mother, Seven assured Gretchen that Kathryn was fine, that it was
merely the strain of the uncertainty and Naomi’s illness, and Kathryn, though
given to fits of temper, would be fine, as long as everyone was patient with
her.
Gretchen
resolved to believe her daughter-in-law for the time being, but also to keep an
eye on Kathryn.
______________
The family
was no more than settled into chairs and armed with iced tea than Gretchen and
Seven had started baking cookies and caramel brownies. Kathryn sat at the table, calm for the
moment, and fairly drooling at the prospect of her favorite treat.
Kieran’s
parents were busy contacting all their colleagues and relatives to invite them
to the wedding. They monopolized the
work station in Edward Janeway’s old study, making sure everyone got wind of
the grand event. Then it was Kathryn’s
turn to do a mass mailing to all the Voyager crew, the Starfleet brass,
Kieran’s friends back at the Academy, and the various crews of the ships still
orbiting Earth. She invited everyone
she had ever heard Kieran mention, including Robin Lefler. She took a perverse satisfaction in thinking
Robin might show up, and have to admit to herself what a terrible mistake she
had made all those years ago, letting Kieran get away.
The RSVPs
started pouring in, and the account was nearly overloaded. Kieran took a turn sending private comm
messages to the two people she wanted to stand up with her at the wedding, Noah
Lessing and Wesley Crusher. They
accepted graciously, promising to arrive Saturday for the wedding rehearsal.
Naomi sat
in the kitchen at the breakfast bar, observing the goings-on in the baking
class Gretchen was giving for Seven of Nine.
Seven looked adorable in the checkered apron she wore over her blue
jeans shorts and tank top, her face smeared with flour and hands stained with
chocolate. Naomi grinned at both women,
pleased at how easily Seven fit in with Kathryn’s family. No one seemed to care that she sported
facial hardware, and her sometimes clipped communication skills didn’t seem to
offend anyone here.
Kieran’s
mother came in to see if she could help out.
“I know it’s a bit crowded in here,” she offered politely, “but if
there’s anything I can do to get the food ready for Sunday, please put me to
work.”
“Actually,
Violet,” Kathryn said to the elder Thompson, “there’s something I’d like for
you to take a look at,” she waved her aside.
“Kieran says you’re a marine biologist and a hydrologist, so I was
hoping you could look at our pond. Tell
us if there’s anything potentially harmful in it. It’s been a long time since anyone swam in it, and I don’t want
anything to make Naomi sicker than she already is,” she explained as they
walked out of the house and toward the pond.
“I’d be
glad to. But to do a really good
analysis, I’ll need a water sample. Do
you have a container?”
Kathryn
held out a small jar. “I’m a scientist,
too,” she grinned.
Back at
the house, Gerry Thompson was at loose ends.
He felt like he’d been deposited in the middle of an estrogen island,
and as the only male on the premises, he was pretty certain he was useless, as
far as the women were concerned. Kieran
came back downstairs from using the workstation, spotted her father looking
lost, and went over to hug him.
“Are you
okay, Dad?” she asked, squeezing him close.
He was nearly as tall as her, with the same brown hair as her natural
color, a light chestnut, only his temples were graying. “Are you bored?”
“Not
really bored, honey,” he hugged her back.
“Just--it’s a lot to take in.
All these new people, you all grown up, getting married—your daughter. We were just getting used to the idea that
you were married to a Klingon, when you show up with a Ktarian. And then we decide she’s as wonderful as you
say, but it turns out she’s ill. I’m
just so sorry for you. How are you
holding up, Starfish?” he chucked her under the chin.
“Good,
considering. But when this is all over,
can I come home and fall apart?” she asked in a retreating voice.
He took
her hand. “You can always come home,
honey. Your mom and I would welcome
you, and I promise, I won’t let her badger you to leave Starfleet. She blames them for your getting lost, but I
know in my heart, you’ve found the perfect career for yourself. She’s just bitter about Cass, still,” he
made excuses for his wife’s behavior.
“Daddy,”
Kieran chastised him gently, “I’m a psychologist. I know all that. I
figured out a long time ago, there’s no pleasing that woman. I don’t try at all, anymore,” she assured
him, pulling him over to the couch to sit down.
“She does
love you, you know.”
“Yeah. I love her, too. I just don’t always like her much,” she admitted.
__________________
Naomi and
Kieran got their first look at Phoebe’s house, or more accurately, Naomi’s new
house, that afternoon. Naomi was
feeling good enough to make the trek over the country roads, and Phoebe was
already back there, waiting to show the couple the property. Kieran and Naomi walked hand in hand,
breathing in the fresh, clean air and enjoying the fragrant smell of new mown
hay wafting over the fields.
“I love it
here,” Naomi announced. “It feels like
home. It’s the first time anyplace felt
familiar to me, other than Voyager. So
if I decide I want to spend the next two years right here, would that be okay
with you?” she smiled winningly at her lover, cheeks pink and glowing.
“As long
as we’re together, I’d pitch a tent in hell and be happy,” Kieran agreed,
hugging Naomi close. “I’ve been meaning
to talk to you about something, Na,” she opened. “You know when we were on Qian, I was able to experience your
hallucinations with you,” she stated, monitoring Naomi’s expression.
“Yes?”
Naomi urged her to finish.
“Well, in
the two hallucinations where we got married, I took your last name. I’d like to do that on Sunday, if that would
make you happy,” Kieran offered.
Naomi’s
face filled with love as she gazed up at the taller Counselor. “I would love that. It would mean so much to me,” she
agreed. “But what about your
parents? And what about the fact that
everyone on the planet knows you as Kieran Thompson? Are you sure you want to surrender all that notoriety?”
Kieran
stooped slightly to kiss her, and they stood on the dusty old road for the
longest time, reveling in the feeling of their embrace. “I don’t give a damn about notoriety, and my
parents don’t get a say in this. Dad
will go along with whatever I want and won’t say a word. Mom might try to give me some grief, but
it’s the name I want, and you’re my chosen,” she murmured, kissing her again.
“I love
you so much,” Naomi said between kisses.
“I would love you to take my name,” she agreed, feeling overwhelmed by
the romantic sentiment of the gesture.
She slipped her hand back into Kieran’s. “I think Kieran Wildman sounds lovely,” she decided. “Only, what does the second K. stand for? It
was on your statue at the academy.”
Kieran
laughed. “I never use it, but it stands
for Kelsey.”
Naomi
smiled broadly. “Kieran Kelsey Thompson
Wildman. That’s a mouthful.”
Kieran
waggled her eyebrows. “So am I,” she
teased.
Naomi
smacked her playfully. “Don’t be a pig.
That’s Noah’s department,” she
laughed. “Do you think he and B’Elanna
will really make a go of things?”
Kieran
nodded. “They’re perfect for each
other, they just don’t know it yet. I
couldn’t be more glad for them, either,” she grinned. “I know Katie is in good hands.”
They
walked up the gravel drive that led to Phoebe’s place, a whitewashed two-story
wood frame house with a wrap around porch, a garden to one side, a barn in the
back, and a studio built onto the side of the breezeway. “It’s nice,” Naomi pronounced. “Not as big as Gran’s, but big enough.”
Phoebe
came out onto the porch, waving them inside.
“Hurry up, you two, I want you to see this,” she enthused, practically
dragging them inside.
The house
had been furnished with Kieran and Naomi’s belongings from Voyager, along with
plenty of Phoebe’s furniture and decorative pieces. In one corner of the living room stood Naomi’s piano, the other
hosted her schelanatta, and Kieran’s guitar stood in its stand beside
the piano.
“How did
you ever get our stuff down here?” Naomi demanded, charmed at the thoughtful kindness.
Phoebe
smiled. “Kathryn is a captain. She can pull all sorts of strings, where her
loved ones are concerned,” she said with sincere admiration for her sister.
Naomi was
drawn to a painting on the wall above her piano, and stood there, gaping at
it. “This is stunning,” she
breathed. “Is it yours?”
Phoebe
nodded. “One of a series of
paintings. The others are in my gallery
in Paris. I’m particularly fond of that
one, though,” she admitted unabashedly.
“It’s my best work in years.”
“Oh, Aunt
Phoebe,” Naomi said with the appreciation only an artist can have for another,
“you’re so talented.”
Phoebe
caressed her hair fondly. “Thank you,”
she replied. “Now what does a relative
have to do to get a free concert?” she inquired, grinning.
Naomi
obediently went to the piano. “You only have to ask,” she advised, launching
into a tumultuous piece.
Kieran
knew that as usual, Naomi was playing from her soul, expressing all the turmoil
and angst of her situation, the frustration and anger coming through. Kieran sat quietly, feeling the piece,
feeling Naomi’s hurt and fear in it.
The music segued into a heart wrenching movement, filled with plaintive,
weeping chords, and a melody that tore at the senses, and Kieran had to
struggle for control. Naomi conquered
the keys as masterfully as she had conquered Kieran, drawing the best from them
that they had to offer. She coaxed them
into submission, harnessed their energy, made them do her bidding.
Phoebe was
speechless in the face of such a gift, and she knew instinctively that she was
witnessing a revelation of Naomi’s inner being, more than a piece of
music. She hid her face in her hand,
the heel of it pressed to her lips to suppress the welling emotion that Naomi
wrung from her as easily as she wrung it from the instrument. She was mute after the performance ended.
“Is that
new, honey?” Kieran’s throat ached.
“Yes. I’ve been writing it in my head, but I’ve
never played it before now. Do you like
it?”
Phoebe
caught her breath. “It’s a masterpiece,
Na. I’m floored. That really deserves to be published. Will you let me look into it?”
Naomi
shrugged. “Sure, if you want to. It’d be kind of nice to be immortal, in some
sense of the word,” she decided.
Kieran
stuffed her emotions back down. “I
think it’s wonderful. I wish you could
play at the wedding,” she murmured.
“I’ve
never heard of that--someone playing at their own wedding. But I will play for you on our wedding
night, if you like,” she compromised.
Kieran
wasn’t certain when she moved, but she found herself holding Naomi suddenly,
clinging to her. She couldn’t begin to
express everything she felt.
Phoebe
turned away, affording them some privacy, fighting the lump in her throat. “I’m going to go upstairs. Come on up when you’re ready for the rest of
the tour,” she said almost inaudibly.
_________________
Noah
Lessing busied himself rubbing Katie Torres’ back, easing her to sleep. The Klingon-human hybrid child was
unbearably out of sorts if she missed her afternoon nap, and with B'Elanna
grieving over the news about Naomi’s illness, and Noah feeling equally
devastated, there was no way the couple would be able to withstand a bad Katie
evening. Katie loved Noah, his soothing
voice and enveloping body creating a huge, safe haven for the toddler. She drifted off and he put her down in the
second room of their suite.
B'Elanna
sat in the living room area, staring dejectedly at nothing. Noah went to the replicator, keyed in
commands for two beers, and joined his lover on the couch. B'Elanna’s eyes were so haunted, Noah hardly
knew how to reach out to her.
“Lanna,”
he said softly, handing her her drink, “do you want to talk about it?”
“She’s
like part of my family,” B'Elanna took a long pull on her beer. “It’s weird, I suppose, since she’s engaged
to my ex-wife, but she worked hard for me, Noah, and we were so close on
Voyager. She’s such a great person, and
Kahless knows, this is going to kill Kieran,” she sounded worried. “And Seven and Kathryn,” she added. “I helped raise her.”
“Me, too,”
he agreed. “Naomi is the reason I
figured out I really want kids of my own,” he admitted.
B'Elanna
smiled faintly at him. “You never told
me that. I mean, I know you’re great
with Katie, but you never told me you want a family.”
He
grinned. “I was afraid you’d run if I
brought up anything that serious,” he laughed, drinking his beer.
“Have I
ever given you any indication that I wanted to run?” B'Elanna asked
pointedly.
“I guess
not. But I’ve also never pressed you on
anything,” he argued. “Only, now, this
thing with Naomi makes me think, I shouldn’t be so—reluctant. And I shouldn’t be complacent,” he said
softly.
“I know
what you mean,” B'Elanna agreed.
“How do
you feel about Kieran getting remarried?” he needed to know. He averted his eyes, afraid he would see
B'Elanna’s continued love for Kieran Thompson.
“I’m
trying to be okay with it. Like I said,
it’s weird for me. But all in all, I
think Kieran had me figured out. I may
be bisexual, but the fact is, I can live without women, not without men, if I
can only choose one gender. I’m not
willing to go without what you give me,” she confessed. “How do you feel about her marriage? You had it bad for her, too,” she
acknowledged.
“I’m
totally fine with it. I’ve been over
her a long, long time,” he raised his beer in salute to his former
infatuation. He finished the amber
liquid, setting down his empty bottle.
“In fact,” he turned to face her, one leg folded on the couch, “I
promised myself after her, I wouldn’t fall in love again. And then you came along and shattered my
resolve on that count,” he said intently.
“Kieran told me awhile back you and I would be perfect for each other,
and she really pushed me to open myself for you. I’m glad I listened to her.
I love you, B'Elanna,” he said, leaning in to kiss her.
B'Elanna
returned his kiss sweetly, astonished at his sudden admission, floored by her
own reaction. “I love you, too,” she
replied, kissing him again, her body immediately responding to his heat. “And she told me the same thing. Insightful, my ex-wife,” she murmured,
cradling his head in her hands, kissing him with more fervor.
The
awareness of death has a way of sparking great sexual desire, and the couple
was hardly immune to the emotional imperative.
Noah gathered B'Elanna into his arms, carrying her to their bed,
undressing her slowly. “Teach me how to
claim you,” he requested, pulling her shirt open at the throat, easing it off
her shoulders.
B'Elanna
was suddenly afraid. With Kieran, it
had been so natural, so spontaneous.
She was gentle and delicate, and Kieran had marked a lover before. B'Elanna gazed up at the behemoth of a man
dwarfing her, eyes closing with near panic.
She drew a shuddering breath.
“Here,”
she pointed to the base of her throat.
“You mark me here,” she instructed.
Noah
kissed her lingeringly. “I’m—I’ve
never—drawn blood with a lover, not intentionally,” he whispered. “I’m scared.”
“Me, too,”
B'Elanna nodded, brow furrowed. “I’ve
never ritually mated with anyone but Kieran,” she explained. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Did it
hurt her?” he asked faintly.
“I think
it must have, but she—she knew how to seduce a Klingon, she knew the ritual overtures,
and by the time a Klingon goes through those rituals, the arousal is so
compelling, you just—lose your awareness of the fact that you’re biting
someone,” she detailed for him. “The thing is, for a human partner, they never
lose the awareness of the bloodletting, like I do. So I wouldn’t really know if I hurt her. I can’t explain it, Noah,” she moved him off
of her, lying beside him.
“I think
there’s some powerful chemical component for Klingons, and when the bloodlust
hits, it’s like an intoxicant. Because
humans don’t have that chemical reaction, they end up being prey to whatever
they unleash in their Klingon partner.
And honey, you know that just making love to me, I injure you
sometimes,” she said apologetically. “I
know it’s one of the reasons Kieran and I broke up, because the longer we were
together, the more punishing my bloodlust got to be for her. We reached a point where I was afraid to
sleep with her, for fear of really hurting her badly. Bless her heart, she tried to hang in there with me, and she was
willing to risk it to the bitter end, but I couldn’t risk hurting her. I loved her. It had become dangerous for her to be with me.”
Noah
nodded, caressing B'Elanna’s cheek.
“And did it help, taking up with Tristan Garrett?”
B'Elanna
nodded, ashamed. “It helped a lot. He could be aggressive, and exhaust me in
ways Kieran couldn’t, and it took the edge off my own aggression. Not that I didn’t draw his blood on
occasion.”
“You’ve
drawn mine often enough, but it’s not the same as claiming me, is it?” Noah
wanted to be sure. “I know Kieran
thought you had claimed Mariah Henley, just because she had a wound on her
throat.”
“It’s not
the same thing,” B'Elanna confirmed.
“Most Klingons do draw blood when they have sex. But claiming a partner is a ritual that goes
with a specific type of wound, and it signifies ownership of the partner,
exclusivity, fidelity. It’s like being
engaged, I guess. The Oath is more binding, like marriage. And the Klingon wedding ceremony is just the
public acknowledgement to family and friends that the Oath has been taken. That’s why the Captain specifically asked
Kieran and I at our wedding ceremony if we had taken the Oath, because if
either of us had said no, we could not marry each other. The Oath is usually said privately, and
often in the height of bloodlust.”
Noah
smiled. “KT actually learned to speak
Klingon?”
“She
learned enough to speak the Oath, and to tell me she loved me, and to
participate in the rituals of my culture,” B'Elanna agreed. “I guess I didn’t appreciate it as much as I
should have,” she said regretfully.
“She really extended herself, opened herself, and she endured what was
more than likely quite a painful experience, only to prove her love for
me. I don’t understand myself,
sometimes. How could I have let it fall
apart? She was so committed to me. Is it really so important, to have sexual
liaisons with men, that I sacrificed all that she offered me for it?” B'Elanna
was perplexed. “That’s what tortures
me,” she confided. “Not that she’s
gone, not that she loves Naomi—because God knows, the two of them were probably
destined to be together—but that I could be so weak, or need something that
wasn’t Kieran so much that I lost her.”
Noah
hugged her close, trying to lend comfort.
“You still really love her, don’t you?” he asked sadly.
B'Elanna
nodded. “I do love her. And I’m grateful to her. She gave me Katie, and she taught me to
embrace my heritage, not to fear it so much.
But she was right. She and I
were wrong for each other. And I’m not
a lesbian. She has every right to want
her partner to be same-sex identified, and I’m not.”
“Kieran
told me she thinks you need both genders of partner to be fulfilled. If that’s true, then I’m not going to be
enough for you by myself, in the long run,” he said gently. “Do you think she’s right about that, too?”
B'Elanna
sighed. “Honestly, Noah? I think Kieran knows me far better than I
know myself. When she tells me
something, now, I listen wholeheartedly.
First, I know whatever she says is out of love, and second, I know that
what she says is never out of self-interest on her part. The problem is, for me to be in that sort of
arrangement means I have to share my partners with each other, and I tend to be
very, very jealous. I’m sure you could
keep up with two women, but I’m not sure I could watch you touch someone else,”
she decided. “How would you feel about
it?”
He
shrugged. “I’m not sure. I’ve never been in a situation like
that. I think it would be weird, because
I know I love you, and I want to be with you, but could I be in love with two
women at once? And could I feel secure,
if I knew you were in love with her too?
It’s hard enough, dealing with your residual feelings for KT,” he said
faintly. “I mean, I can picture having
a third sexual partner, as long as it’s just sex. That doesn’t rattle me—in fact, like any guy, it juices me to
think of two naked women in my bed. But
if you were in love with her, that might be a different story. KT told me to keep an open mind, and not
dismiss it out of hand. I suppose if
the right situation presents itself, we’ll know it,” he concluded. “But I’m a
fairly conventional guy. I always figured
I’d be married and have a family, and I never thought about having a three-way
relationship.”
“I know
one thing,” B'Elanna assured him, “and that’s that right now, it doesn’t feel
like there’s anything I’m missing, or anyone else I want but you. You’re all masculinity, but you can be so
gentle, and I feel like I have the perfect mix of aggression and tenderness in
you.”
Noah
kissed her sweetly, tasting her breath, chest swelling with love. “As long as you tell me the truth,
B'Elanna,” he requested. “If I’m ever
not enough, you have to tell me.”
__________________
The pond
was fed by an underground spring, and for early June, the water was
surprisingly cold. Kieran dove in buck
naked, not caring that her snow white ass most likely caught enough sunlight to
reflect back into space. She wanted to
stay in the murky, muddy water on the bottom, never surface, never face the
truth of what waited for her on the bank.
She numbed her mind by finding the spring and sticking her face right in
the vent. The coldness made her teeth
hurt, it was so bracing. When her lungs
burned to breathe, the oxygen depleted from her bloodstream, she finally came
to the top, shaking water out of her eyes.
Naomi
stood on the bank, hands on her hips.
“You scared me. I thought some
swamp monster had you, or something,” she complained loudly.
Kieran
swam powerfully toward her. “Are you
coming in, or do I have to make you?” she beseeched the naked Ktarian.
Naomi
giggled. “Make me,” she taunted.
Kieran
stomped up the bank menacingly, water coursing down her bare flesh in rivulets,
hair slicked back. “You’re going in,
Wildwoman,” she threatened.
Naomi
squealed and tried to dodge, but Kieran had her in a blink, slinging her over
broad shoulders like a sack of potatoes.
Naomi shrieked as Kieran waded back out, dangling Naomi over her
shoulder. She laughed at Naomi’s
girlish antics, and showing no mercy, she heaved her backwards into the
pond. The “oh” of surprise as her lips
curled made Kieran laugh harder. She
followed the flying Ktarian, just to be sure she came right back up for air,
which she did.
“Jesus,
it’s freezing,” Naomi bitched. “I think
my privates are shriveled up,” she shivered.
Kieran
encompassed her in warmer arms. “Let me
feel,” she offered. She thrust her hand
between Naomi’s legs. “Nope. Not shriveled. A little puckered, maybe, but still there,” she confirmed,
grinning.
“Maybe you
could warm that up, too,” Naomi invited her.
Kieran
kissed her, drawing Naomi’s legs around her hips and supporting her weight by
grabbing her ass. “My pleasure,” she
said into their kiss, reaching for her nether regions. “Would you rather lay on the towels?” she
offered.
“No,”
Naomi shuddered from the sensation between her legs. “I’ve always wanted to make love in this pond with you,” she
admitted sheepishly.
“Ah, a
fantasy,” Kieran teased her. “Do tell.”
“I have a
million of them,” Naomi informed her.
“We’ll never have time to get to them all. But this is one of my favorites,” she squirmed as Kieran’s
fingers entered her, eliciting a soft groan from the back of her throat.
“Let’s see
how far we can move through the list, then,” Kieran said in her ear, biting the
lobe gently.
___________________
They lay
in the morning sun, drying in the humid air, still loving each other
intimately.
“You
know,” Kieran gasped as Naomi captured a nipple, “your grandmother would have a
heart attack if she stumbled upon this little side show,” she arched into
Naomi’s mouth.
“I told
Kathryn to keep everyone away,” Naomi smiled around a firm breast.
“You
didn’t,” Kieran accused.
“Did so.”
“What did
you tell her, exactly?” Kieran demanded, though her concentration was beginning
to slip.
“I told
her that I was taking you swimming so I could ravish you before all the guests
start to arrive for the rehearsal this afternoon,” Naomi teased Kieran’s cleft,
feeling the willing yielding of Kieran’s body to her touch.
“You
liar,” Kieran gasped the words.
“Those
were my exact words. Kathryn turned
menstrual red, too,” Naomi chuckled.
“You should’ve seen it,” she murmured, descending Kieran’s body. “Now do shut up, please,” she admonished her
lover. “Unless of course you feel the
need to scream something incoherent,” she laughed evilly.
Kieran
groaned as she felt wet warmth envelop her sex. The incoherent part was only seconds away.
____________________
Noah
Lessing shouldered Katie Torres in one powerful sweep of his massive arm,
grabbed a suitcase with the other, and stooped to kiss B’Elanna as they walked
across Gretchen Janeway’s lawn.
“Are you
really okay with this, Lanna?” he asked the brooding Klingon.
She forced
a smile and nodded. “I will be. It’s a little hard, but I know Kieran and
Naomi are truly happy, and, after all, I lost Kieran out of my own negligence. I hardly have the right to complain, and
considering how little time Naomi has, I won’t begrudge them this marriage,”
she explained. “And,” she added,
looking on the bright side, “I can’t wait to see Katie’s face when she and
Geejay see each other.”
Noah
chuckled. “Two peas in a pod,” he
agreed. They climbed the porch steps
and knocked on the screen door.
Kathryn
bustled across the living room to let them in.
“Come in, don’t knock,” she greeted them warmly. “Thank you so much for coming,” she took
Katie out of Noah’s arms and hugged the toddler. “How’s my namesake?” she asked, grinning at the Klingon child.
“Ka-trn,”
Katie said, “Is Geejay home? I want
Geejay now, please,” she bounced in Kathryn’s arms.
A
resounding shriek of delight rang in the air as Geejay toddled into the living
room. “Katie!” the little blonde hollered,
running for her pal. The two girls
hugged and hugged and sat right down in the floor to have a pow-wow. Geejay offered the stuffed bear she had been
lugging around, and Katie properly thanked her and kissed her cheek before
grabbing the toy to hug it too.
“Well,”
Kathryn turned to Noah and B’Elanna, “none of us will matter the rest of the
night,” she chuckled. “Let me take your
bags to the guesthouse. Seven and I have been staying there, and you two will
be bunking with us. There’s a second
bedroom big enough for all three of you.
I’m sorry, we don’t have an extra crib for Katie,” she frowned. “I knew I was forgetting something.”
“It’s
fine,” B’Elanna assured her. “Katie
sleeps with me sometimes, anyway,” she patted Kathryn’s arm.
“Come and
say hello to mother, and have a caramel brownie. Wesley should be here anytime, and the justice of the peace will
be along for rehearsal directly,” she said hospitably.
“How is
Naomi, Kathryn?” B’Elanna asked quietly.
Kathryn
slipped an arm around the Klingon. “As
well as can be expected. Dr. Pulaski
thinks if we could just figure out what triggered her maturation spurt, we
might have a chance at finding the solution to her illness. But neither Tom nor Harry seemed to have any
similar problems after Restid Three, and we’re all baffled. Kate has searched the entire medical
community looking for Ktarian doctors that might be able to help. She’s coming to the wedding, so I’ll get an
update tomorrow.”
B’Elanna
squeezed her. “If there’s anything I
can do—”
“Thanks,
B’Elanna. I’ll let you know if I think
of anything. I’ve been wondering if we
should go back to Voyager and go over the mission logs again. I’ve got to try something, but I don’t even
know what I’m looking for.” She seated
them at the kitchen table and poured glasses of ice cold milk for each, then
put a plate of caramel brownies out for them.
“Hi, Mrs.
Janeway,” B’Elanna called out to Gretchen, who was rummaging in the pantry.
“Hi you
two,” she waved, “I’ll be along in a minute,” she promised.
“Aren’t
you having any, Captain?” Noah nodded to the plate of brownies, waiting for her
reply before allowing himself to eat.
“I’ve
eaten so many since yesterday, I’m half sick.
And it’s Kathryn, Noah. We don’t
stand on protocol in my home,” she advised, sitting down with them.
“Where is
the happy couple?” he asked, taking a huge bite and closing his eyes. “Oh, my God,” he groaned with satisfaction.
“They’ve
been down at the pond all day. I
imagine they’ve had a lot to discuss,” she replied, not mentioning that the two
women had probably done everything but discuss. “They have to be overwhelmed, right now, with the diagnosis and
all the decisions to make. I feel just
awful for them both, but they seem to have taken the news in stride. Kieran is a rock, just as you’d expect, and
Naomi is just so in love, she is focused completely on Kieran.”
B’Elanna
took a dainty bite of brownie, letting the morsel dissolve in her mouth. “She always was completely focused on
Kieran,” she commented. “I suppose
their falling in love was inevitable,” she said faintly, trying not to sound
bitter. “I just hope Katie doesn’t get
lost in the shuffle,” she added. “When
Kieran came out of that emergency ward and announced that Naomi was her top and
only priority, that made me feel a little like Katie might be overlooked.”
Noah
finished his brownie, washing it down with milk. “KT would never, ever let that happen, Lanna. She loves Katie, and she’s a good
mother. You never have to worry about
it,” he insisted.
B’Elanna
rolled her eyes, leaning in closer to Kathryn.
“Imagine what a pain in the ass it is to have your lover always sticking
up for your ex-wife,” she complained.
“That’s
nothing,” Kathryn confided. “Wait 'til
your spouse, your daughter, and your best friend gang up on you all at once to
defy you at every turn,” she grinned.
“Let’s
make a pact that we’ll always stick up for each other, then,” B’Elanna
conspired.
“Deal,”
Kathryn held out her hand.
“Speaking
of your lovely wife, where has she gotten to?” Gretchen asked Kathryn as she
walked back into the kitchen.
“She’s in
Daddy’s study, using the workstation. I
think she is trying to find something for Naomi and Kieran to wear tomorrow,”
she added, sneaking a piece of B’Elanna’s brownie after all.
“You mean
they haven’t even decided what they’re wearing?” B’Elanna was aghast.
Gretchen
smirked. “They spend so much time naked, I think clothes are anathema to them,”
she joked.
“MOTHER!”
Kathryn wailed. “Do you have to be so
crass?”
The elder
Janeway rolled her eyes. “I’m sure,
Kathryn, they’ve spent the whole day picking daisies, and nothing more,” she
said sarcastically. “They’re young and
in love. What do you expect?” she
demanded playfully.
Kathryn
scowled. “I don’t know. A little decorum would be nice. I’m not asking for much.”
“I think
they’ve been fairly discreet. Much more
so than you were with Justin Tighe in the orchard,” Gretchen accused her
daughter.
Kathryn’s
face went scarlet. “Mother, these
people are part of my crew. Do you
think you could restrain yourself in the smart-ass department?”
Noah was
trying not to choke on his milk, he was laughing so hard. “I’m sorry,” he pressed his hand to his
mouth to keep from spewing white liquid from his nostrils. “Your mom is a riot,” he howled.
B’Elanna
caught the strains of a song, recognizing Kieran’s singing and Naomi
harmonizing as they came up the path through the apple orchard. “They sound good,” she noted, finishing her
milk.
The couple
banged through the screen door, arms slung around each other. In the living room, Kieran swooped down on
Katie, grabbing her up for a tender hug.
“Marmar!”
Katie hollered, giggling as the very tall blonde pounced on her.
“Hello,
sweetie,” she kissed the soft curls around her forehead. “How’s my girl?”
“I’m
playing with Geejay, now,” she replied, straining back toward the floor and
away from Kieran’s hug.
“Jilted
for the pretty one again,” Kieran joked.
“Down you go, lovey. Damn,
Katie, you’re getting so big,” she breathed.
“Hey, Na,” she took her fiancée’s hand, “we should scare up something to
eat before the whole world arrives.
You’re looking a little washed out,” she caressed Naomi’s face,
concerned.
“I’m
fine,” Naomi insisted, withdrawing her hand and sliding both palms up Kieran’s
chest to her shoulders. “Thank you for
today. It was wonderful,” she stood on
tiptoes to kiss her beloved.
Kieran
leaned her forehead against Naomi’s.
“It was a great day, wasn’t it?” she murmured, kissing her back. “But I’m starving.”
They wandered
into the kitchen, spying their guests.
“Hey!” Kieran pulled B’Elanna out of her chair for a hug, and then
kissed Noah’s cheek. “When did you guys
get in?”
“Just a
few minutes ago,” B’Elanna sat back down, scrutinizing her ex-wife for signs of
strain. “We should let you guys sit
down and eat something,” she motioned Noah out of his chair.
“I’m glad
you’re finally back,” Kathryn said, getting up and retrieving a PADD from the
counter. “We need to go over these
documents,” she handed them to Naomi.
“The
wedding license?” Naomi scrolled through the information.
“Yes, and
your will. You need to fix your
thumbprint to that,” Kathryn pointed to the spot on the legalese. “You can’t get married without it.”
Kieran
smirked at B’Elanna and Noah. “Go
figure, the government doesn’t think twelve year olds should be allowed to get
married without an act of God,” she smarted.
“What’s the world coming to?”
Kathryn
fixed her with a glare. “Watch it,
Kato. Naomi can still void the decree,
and then you’ll have to convince her you’re worthy of her hand,” she advised,
leaning against the kitchen counter.
“And that might take a lot of convincing,” she smarted.
Naomi
stuck her thumb on the PADD. “Too late,
I’m legal. Quick, get the justice of
the peace,” she looked around frantically, as if the man might appear any
second.
Gretchen
was busy putting together sandwiches and drinks for everyone. “Noah, you look like you’re always
hungry. Would you like a bite?” she
asked as she sliced thick bread from a freshly baked loaf. “Seven and I made bread,” she added as
incentive.
“I’d love
a sandwich, thank you, Ma’am,” he agreed.
She served
the assembled guests, watching them eat and feeling satisfied that no one ever
went hungry in her home.
When Naomi
had finished picking at her food, she excused herself. “I want to see if Seven has come up with any
good ideas,” she smiled. “I want to see what we’re wearing,” she kissed
Kieran’s cheek and rushed up to the study.
“Hi
Borg-Mom,” she grabbed Seven around the neck and spun her in the swivel
chair. “How’s the hunt for style and
fashion going?” she enthused. She
stopped short. “God, Seven, what did
you do to yourself?” she held the Borg’s face in her hand, studying her
forehead, which sported a large, purplish bump.
“Oh,”
Seven blushed, “I hit my head on the window sill last night. Clumsy me.
I’m not used to living in a house, I guess,” she explained.
“Shouldn’t
your nanoprobes be fixing the bruising?” Naomi looked it over skeptically.
“They
should be. But they aren’t, it
appears. I’m keeping an eye on it,
though,” she fidgeted uncomfortably.
“So what do you think of these?” she turned back to the display.
“Oh, Mom,
they’re lovely,” Naomi breathed. “Truly
elegant. Kieran will look amazing in
them,” she murmured.
Seven
smiled. “And so will you, my darling
daughter,” she wrapped an arm around the slight woman, hugging her. “I want it to be the happiest day of your
life,” she enthused.
Naomi
hugged her back. “I’m marrying Kieran,”
she pointed out. “How could it be
anything but the happiest day of my life?” she laughed lightly.
Seven
gazed up at her daughter, fighting the melancholy feeling that lingered in her
heart. “I used to think your love for
her was unfortunate,” she murmured, “that you carried that torch in vain. But your persistence has finally been
rewarded,” she acknowledged.
“You mean
my stubbornness, don’t you, Mom?” Naomi smirked.
“That,
too,” Seven agreed. She pulled Naomi
into her lap, clinging to her in an uncharacteristic fit of vulnerability. “I love you, Naomi,” she kissed her
daughter’s cheek. “You will always be
my little girl, with innocent eyes and freckles and a perpetual grin. If I live to be one thousand, that’s how I
will remember you. That, and how you
followed me around Voyager, spying on me.”
Naomi
hugged Seven fiercely. “I wasn’t
spying, Mom. I was observing, and
emulating you. I always loved you, even
when I was afraid of you. And my fear
didn’t last long, because despite all your cybernetic parts and your stoic
scowl, your heart always shone through.
I was always drawn to your heart, and it was always big enough to
include and forgive me. I know I’ve
been a miserable child, and I’ve put you through absolute hell, and I’m sorry,
Seven,” she said sincerely.
Seven’s
eyes widened. “You have NOT been a
miserable child, Naomi. How can you
even think that?” she peered into hazel eyes, face soft with concern.
Naomi
leaned her forehead against the former Borg’s, feeling the cool press of
Seven’s optical implant. “I ran away
from home twice, I tried to die at least as many times, I sued you—that’s not
the same as being a royal pain in your Borg-enhanced ass?” she said softly.
Seven
closed her eyes, blinking back tears.
“I have never considered you anything but a joy, Naomi Wildman,” she
reverted to Borg-speak. “You have had
an extremely difficult life, and your reactions to your circumstances have been
wholly warranted and understandable. My
only regret is that you grew up so quickly, I did not get to mother you as long
as I would have liked,” she admitted.
“That, and your illness. I would
give anything to change that,” she nearly strangled on the words.
“I know,
but at least I’m going to die happy,” Naomi assured her. “I need you to do something for me, okay?”
Seven
nodded, trying to get her emotions under control. “Anything.”
“Promise
me you’ll take care of Kieran, after I die.
She’s going to be a mess, and I need to know you won’t let her
drown. She’s going to need you, Seven. Next to me, you have more influence over her
than anyone. She’ll listen to you. Watch out for her. Help her get over it.
Make sure she eats. And don’t
let her stop living. Promise me,” she
demanded, eyes penetratingly intense.
“You have
my word,” Seven agreed solemnly. “I
love her, Naomi. I will not let her
drown in her grief. Though I cannot
guarantee you I will not drown in my own,” she said softly.
“You
can’t,” Naomi retorted. “You can’t
allow yourself that, Mom. I mean
it. You have to be stronger than that,
for Kieran.”
Seven
swallowed her sadness, nodding. “I will
do my best. I promise.”
_____________________
Wesley
Crusher arrived shortly thereafter, followed by Neelix, who was to stand up
with Naomi, and Phoebe, also standing up with Naomi. Finally, the justice of
the peace arrived too. They walked
through the house to the large lawn beside the apple orchard, Kathryn directing
everyone. “The trellis will be here,”
she advised, showing Kieran and Naomi where to stand. “Willard,” she said to the justice, “you’ll be here. Noah, right here, and Wesley, next to
Noah. Damn. Where’s Seven?”
“I’ll get
her,” B’Elanna offered, jogging back to the house. She found Seven watching the girls. “You’re needed outside, your Borgness,” she used Kieran’s
nickname for the towering blonde.
“Hello,
B’Elanna,” Seven stood to greet her.
“It was big of you to come.”
“Seven,”
she said reproachfully, “Of course I’m going to be here. Just because Kieran and I divorced doesn’t
mean I’m any less a part of this family.
I love them both, and I love you and Kathryn. I wish them nothing but the best of everything.” She smiled at her Borg friend.
Seven
walked arm in arm with her best friend.
“Still, it’s nice you’re here.
I’ve missed you.”
“Really?”
B'Elanna was startled at the confession.
“That’s sweet, Borg. How are you
holding up?”
They
exited the house, Seven pasting a smile on her face. “I am going through the motions, nothing more,” she
admitted. “But Kieran has ordered us
all to smile, and so I will smile.”
B'Elanna
sat on the back stoop, watching the rehearsal and keeping an eye on Katie and
Geejay while the other adults went through a mock version of the wedding
ceremony. B'Elanna could see the
telltale signs of duress in Kieran’s face, and knowing the Counselor as well as
she did, B'Elanna knew how deeply Kieran hurt.
Still, to most observers, Kieran seemed calm, in control, and truly
happy. Naomi radiated love for the taller
woman from the core of her being, and the two fed on that energy, reflecting it
back to each other in equal measure.
B'Elanna
regarded her ex-wife contemplatively. She finally has what she wanted. Someone who thinks the world begins and ends
with her. Someone who loves women as
much as she does. Someone who will
never leave her for a man. She is
beautiful, B'Elanna realized. And
she loved me, once. Better than I had ever hoped to be loved, and far better
than I deserved.
B'Elanna
studied Noah Lessing, his graceful body, his gentle demeanor. He and Kieran were laughing about something,
and Willard Carson was giving them a stern look. The two sobered immediately.
Naomi only shook her head at them, grinning patiently, waiting for the
hilarity to subside so the rehearsal could continue. B'Elanna smiled fondly at them all, thinking how much she loved
each of them. Kieran would always be
her friend, and Noah might well be her husband, eventually. It felt appropriate, somehow, the transition
in their lives. Noah let out a booming
laugh, and Kieran smacked his arm playfully.
B'Elanna let the sound of his laughter fill her. Just like Kieran’s used to, she realized, grinning.
_________________
Noah
Lessing took Kieran Thompson’s hand, leading her through the fading light in
the apple orchard.
“Since I’m
your best man,” he began, squeezing her fingers, “I’m supposed to take you
aside and give you some words of wisdom before I stand up with you tomorrow,”
he said fondly.
Kieran
laughed. “Like you have any wisdom to
share, NoGame?” she ribbed him.
“You’re
right about that,” Noah admitted. “I
have nothing profound to offer. In
fact, I need your wisdom, as usual,” he said hopefully. “I know you have a lot on your mind, KT, but
I’d appreciate some insight,” he apologized.
Kieran
slipped her fingers free, wrapping her arm around him. “What’s on your mind, bud?”
He
reciprocated the gesture, drawing a tentative breath. “I need you to tell me how to—claim B'Elanna,” he confessed
sheepishly.
Kieran
pulled them up short. “Are you
serious?” she smiled broadly, then threw her arms around his neck. “Oh, Noah, I’m so glad for you both,” she
enthused, hugging the daylights out of him.
“Will you
teach me?” he requested, sounding small.
Kieran
nodded vigorously. “Of course I will,”
she agreed immediately. “Do you know
the ritual prelude?” she asked, all business.
“I don’t
know anything at all,” he said pitifully.
“I’ve read everything I can find, but I don’t understand it. I’m supposed to sniff her palm?” he asked,
confused.
“Let me
show you,” she offered. “Give me your hand,”
she insisted. She bent back his wrist
roughly. “Like this. Only know your own strength, don’t break her
wrist,” she warned. “Then you breathe
over her palm and close her fingers into her own hand, firmly,” she
demonstrated. “If you squeeze her hand
hard enough, her palm will bleed slightly, and that will make it much more
intense for her. Then you breathe her
scent down the length of her arm,” she showed him, “and back up again. If there is blood running down her arm, at
this point, she’ll have smelled it, and she’ll be ready. You make eye contact with her, if her eyes
aren’t rolling into the back of her head yet,” she instructed. “And you tell her, in a commanding tone, ‘I
claim you. You are mine.’ And you bite her right here,” she showed him
on her own throat. “Don’t be
tentative—she’ll be so far gone, it won’t hurt her, and the deeper and larger
the wound, the more she will respect you.”
She smiled at the look of utter arousal in his eyes. “Pretty potent, huh?”
“You did
that with her?” he asked incredulously.
“You drew her blood?”
Kieran
nodded. “Does that shock you?”
“Yes,” he
said with a bewildered look. “You’re so
gentle, so kind. I can’t imagine it.”
“I did it
because she needed it, Noah. It’s the
only way to truly have her heart. Once
you’re blood bonded, you’ll understand.
If you want to really get her going, kiss away some of the blood from
her palm, and then kiss her with it on your lips. She’ll go nuts,” Kieran counseled. “Only, be forewarned, when I say she’ll go nuts, you may need
some serious dermal regeneration time afterward. And you’d better be well rested, because she’ll want you to make
love to her repeatedly.”
“What if
she—doesn’t claim me back?” he asked, worried.
Kieran
laughed. “Honey, she will sink her
teeth into you in a heartbeat. I’ve
seen how she looks at you, bud.”
“Does it
hurt much?” he felt weak for asking, but he wanted to know.
“It can,
but if you love her as much as you’d better if you’re going to claim her, you
won’t mind it. The need in her will
override any fear you have for yourself, trust me, Noah. It takes so much for a Klingon to share
bloodlust, especially with a human, and you have to be cognizant of the fact
that she is giving you her deepest vulnerability. It’s the most sacred thing she can share with you, and you have
to honor it, and protect it. Do you
understand?” her eyes burned with intensity, her voice whip-like.
“I
understand,” he agreed. “I promise, KT,
I’m taking this completely seriously. I
know what it means to her, and I know that it’s a huge step.” His face was sincere, and his manor was
urgent. Kieran was assured of his
intentions.
“It’s like
asking her to marry you, Noah. You know
that, right?” Kieran took his hands again.
“I know,”
he confirmed. “I love her, Kieran. I’m not ready to take the Oath, yet, but I
want this connection with her.”
Kieran
smiled warmly at him. “I knew you guys
were perfect for each other,” she congratulated herself. “I’m thrilled for you both. When are you going to do it?” she asked, all
set for gossip.
Noah
laughed nervously. “Soon. Probably when we get back to San
Francisco. I’ve got butterflies in my
gut, just thinking about it. I know
she’s going to be comparing everything I do to what you did,” he confided.
“Nothing
to worry about at all, there,” she patted his back as they walked toward the
house. “B'Elanna always thought of me
as weak, though she would deny that, I bet.
I never took her forcefully enough, never gave her the aggression she
needed. Just remember that when she’s
in the throes of bloodlust, don’t be gentle with her, or you’ll disappoint her
needs. Gentleness is for later, when
the storm passes,” she advised.
Noah
pulled them up short before they crossed the back yard of the farmhouse. “Thank you,” he said sincerely. “You’re amazing to me, Kieran,” he said
quietly.
Kieran
quirked an eyebrow. “How so?” she was
puzzled.
“You just
told me how to seduce your ex-wife, and taught me to make love to her. You don’t think that’s amazing?” he held her
shoulders.
“I want
you both to be happy. That’s all I ever
wanted for any of us. There’s nothing
amazing about that, bud. Besides, from
my selfish perspective, this works great for me.”
“How’s
that?” he wanted to know.
“Katie
adores you. And if you and B'Elanna are
serious, then I know she’s safe, she’s loved, and I never have to worry about
her again. You have a level head on
your shoulders, and I trust you with my child more than I trust B'Elanna. It’s a winning proposition for all of us,” she
decided, laying her hand against his cheek.
“I love you, Noah. This is how
it was supposed to be, all along,” she assured him, kissing him softly.
He let her
lips ghost over his own, then gathered her into a fierce hug. “I love you, too, Kieran. Thank you for being able to see things
clearly, when I couldn’t,” he murmured, face pressed into her hair.
_________________
Seven of
Nine crept up the stairs of the renovated guesthouse, hoping Kathryn was
asleep. She did not want to get into
yet another argument with her wife, since last night’s had been so
volatile. She supposed it was Naomi’s
relapse that had Kathryn behaving so erratically, and she expected that as
before, the Captain would withdraw into herself as Naomi became increasingly
fragile. Only this time, Kathryn did
not have Voyager to hide behind, no endless mound of reports, no bridge crisis,
no excuses.
Kathryn
was awake, brooding over the situation, scowling to herself. She looked up as Seven came in, not greeting
her. “Is everyone bedded down for the
night?”
Seven
nodded. “I checked on Geejay. She was sound asleep. Having Katie here kept them both out of
trouble,” she tried to keep things cordial.
“Your
nanoprobes are not cooperating,” Kathryn noted the purplish bruise that remained
on Seven’s forehead. “That’s going to
look pretty bad in the wedding pictures,” she sneered at the word ‘wedding’.
Seven
sighed. “Kathryn, I know you are angry,
but I am not the one you should take it out on. If you truly believe Naomi is making a mistake, you need to tell
her. I don’t want to hear any more
about it.”
“She is
making a mistake. While she and Kieran
are off gallivanting around the planet, her illness is only going to get
worse. They should be seeking medical
opinions, not honeymooning,” Kathryn hissed.
“Then tell
her that,” Seven replied. “Stop acting
as if I have the power to influence her.
I do not.”
“You
haven’t even tried,” Kathryn glowered at her.
“I did try, but she thinks it’s just my pattern, to oppose them at every
turn. It’s not that at all. If Naomi were going to live forever, I’d
dance happily at their wedding.”
“No, you
would not. If Naomi were going to live
forever, you would say she’s too young to be getting married,” Seven
argued. “She cannot please you, no
matter what she does, and neither can Kieran.”
“God, I’m
sick of hearing about Kieran from you,” Kathryn griped. “She’s letting Naomi throw what is left of
her life away, and all you can do is sing her praises.”
“Of course
I sing her praises,” Seven snapped.
“She will stand by Naomi, and by me, while Naomi dies. She will be the one who asks nothing for
herself, and offers everything. I know,
because I’ve been through it with her before.
Tell me, Kathryn, what are you going to do, without a ship to divert
your energy, without an easy excuse to avoid the truth of the situation, this
time? How will you ever be able to bail
out on Naomi and me, if there’s no starship with a perpetual crisis?”
Kathryn
leapt off the bed and at her wife.
“Bail out? Is that what you call
keeping one hundred and fifty people alive, against all the odds, in hostile
skies? While you were holding Kieran’s
hand and cleaning up vomit, I was working my ass off so we wouldn’t all die out
there.”
“You were
hiding from your real duty,” Seven shot back.
“Because the real duty was too painful, and you were too weak to face
it. So you left Kieran and I to do
everything. Kieran was more a spouse to
me than you were. She was the one who
held me when I cried, and the one who—”
Kathryn’s
eyebrows narrowed. “The one who
what? Say it Seven. Go on,” she clenched her fists, her body
shaking with rage.
“She was
the one who loved me,” Seven shouted at her, fury etching her features.
Kathryn’s
anger boiled over, and she backhanded her wife. “She loved you how? How
God damn it? Was she your lover?” she
was livid. “Did you sleep with her?”
Seven held
her face, blood oozing from her nostril.
She ignored Kathryn and searched their bags for a dermal
regenerator. “If you want an answer to
that, ask her yourself,” she replied coldly.
“I’m
asking you,” Kathryn grabbed her shoulders and shook her. “Did you fuck her?”
“No,”
Seven hissed, “but I wish I had, so I could throw it in your face now.”
“But she
tried, didn’t she?” Kathryn was inches from her wife’s forehead, her voice
menacing. “Didn’t she?”
Seven
looked at her wife with pure hatred.
“Kieran Thompson has never so much as looked at me with a passing
interest.”
“Liar!”
Kathryn shoved her backwards, and Seven fell onto the bed. “At the banquet on Qian, she spent the whole
night looking at you. In our quarters,
before the banquet, she was undressing you with her eyes. I watched her from the hallway.”
“You have
an overactive imagination, Kathryn,” Seven glared at her. “Kieran was in love with Naomi, so much that
when Naomi slept with Sieken, it nearly killed her. How do you think Kieran ended up in a coma on Qian?”
Kathryn’s
eyes widened with shock. “Naomi slept
with Sieken?” her disbelief drained the ire from her features. “My daughter bedded an alien ambassador?”
“Kieran
told you the truth when she said she wasn’t Naomi’s first,” Seven replied
coldly. “And I assure you, Kieran did
not know I was alive, then, or any other night, much to my disappointment. I’m sleeping on the couch. Don’t follow me, or I won’t be responsible
for the bodily harm you sustain.”
Kathryn
sat down on the bed with a thump, dumbfounded.
Naomi and Sieken. It couldn’t be
true. It simply could not have
happened. Seven was lying to cover herself,
to cover the fact that Kieran and she had been together. In the cargo bay, all those times Seven was
supposedly regenerating, that must have been when. Kathryn was sure of it.
_________________
Sunday
finally came, and the flowers were put out, the chairs set up on the lawn, the
trellis erected, and the long tables of food covered to keep the insects
away. Kieran and Naomi went back to the
house to shower and dress, while the rest of the family and friends put the
finishing touches on the decorations.
Everyone took turns getting cleaned up, and finally the guests started
to arrive.
Seven
helped Kieran and Naomi with their wedding clothes, which she had picked out
for them, with their permission. They
each wore white silk pleated slacks that accentuated their waists, antique
white lace vests, and sky blue blouses with full sleeves and v-necks. The effect was elegant and understated, and
it suited them both.
Kieran
took Naomi’s hands, looking her over.
“You’re not disappointed about not having a formal bride’s dress?” she
asked, kissing both hands in turn.
“That was
just a hallucination,” Naomi replied.
“This is much more comfortable, and it feels perfect to me. You look positively gorgeous,” she flirted
with her soon-to-be wife.
Kieran
grinned, gazing longingly at her.
“Thanks. As long as you think
so, nothing else matters to me,” she leaned in for a brief kiss. “Let me straighten your chain,” she arranged
the necklace she had bought Naomi on Qian.
“I love you, Naomi Wildman,” she said sincerely, kissing her again. “Are you sure you want to go through with
this?” she asked in a teasing tone.
Naomi
grabbed her by the vest. “Believe it,”
she growled, laughing happily.
Seven
watched silently, feeling the love radiating from them.
“Mom?”
Naomi said softly. “Do you have the
rings Kieran bought on Qian?”
Seven’s
navy blue dress had two pockets on the skirt, and she withdrew the box. “Right here, sweetie. Please don’t worry so much,” she
recommended, hugging the couple each in turn.
There was
a commotion outside, and Naomi scooted to the window to see what was going
on. “Looks like your basketball team
just arrived,” she laughed. “They never
seem to do anything with subtlety,” she noted.
Kieran joined her at the window. “That’s their MO,” she agreed. “Boisterous and brash. Hey, Chakotay brought Claren James. Way to go, Commander,” she cheered for him under her breath. “Tuvok is here. I would’ve expected him to be headed for Vulcan, by now.”
“K-Mom
says he's staying to work on your assault investigation,” Naomi replied.
“You've
got to be kidding me,” Kieran protested. “That's ridiculous.”
“Not to
me, it's not,” Naomi insisted. “For God's sake, Kieran, they tried to
kill you.”
Kieran
shrugged. “Tuvok has a family that misses him. That counts more
than justice, if you ask me. I wouldn't let an investigation keep me from you,”
she tried to convince her betrothed.
“Looks
like K-Mom is moving everyone into their seats, so it must be almost time. Are you ready?”
Kieran took
her hand. “I’ve been ready ever since
Qian,” she assured her lover.
_____________
Kieran
looked out over the sea of faces in the rows and rows filling the Janeway’s
back yard. Captain Picard, with Beverly
Crusher on his arm, Will and Deanna, Guinan, Geordi LaForge, Worf, the girls
from the team, B’Elanna and Katie, Harry, Tom, Chakotay, Tuvok, the Doctor, all
sat expectantly, smiling. Kieran counted three Admirals, her former college
Coach, a dozen members of her own family, half a dozen friends of her parents,
and a few of Samantha Wildman’s relatives. There were so many of the crew from
Voyager, they ran out of seats, and people were standing around the lawn.
Phoebe and Neelix stood at the trellis, waiting for Naomi to join them. Kathryn and Seven, as the parents, escorted
Naomi to the front down the long aisle in the yard, each taking an arm,
solemnly cognizant of the turning point they had reached. When they reached the trellis, a hush fell
over the crowd.
Willard
Carson smiled and asked “Who gives this woman this day?”
Seven
confidently replied “Her mothers do,” and they kissed Naomi and left her
standing with Phoebe and Neelix.
Kieran’s
parents walked her up the aisle in turn, and kissed her as they delivered her
to Wesley and Noah.
Willard
Carson smiled again and asked “Who gives this woman this day?”
Kieran’s
father, with a decided catch in his voice, said “Her mother and I do.” He took Kieran’s hand and placed it in
Naomi’s, then kissed Naomi’s cheek and escorted his wife back to the front row.
Willard
began in a slow, steady cadence to recite the ceremony. Kieran and Naomi stood facing each other,
oblivious to the world around them, existing only for each other in that
moment.
Willard
described the sanctity of marriage, the gravity of the commitment they were
undertaking, and the importance of trust and fidelity. He charged them to love and cherish each
other, in the best and the worst of times, and to find their strength in each
other.
He nodded
to Naomi. “Naomi and Kieran would like
to address each other, before this honorable assembly and before the Universe
in her glory.”
Naomi
smiled shyly at Kieran, taking both her hands, and in a voice strong with
emotion, said:
“The night
I met you, you sacrificed yourself to try and save my life. On an alien world, without regard for
yourself, you tried to rescue me, and in a flash of light and heat, your heart
was destroyed, and you nearly lost your life.
And so now, I’m giving you my heart, and my life, in repayment of a long
overdue debt.
“Throughout
the years, I can’t begin to count the number of times or the numerous ways
you’ve saved me. You saved me from the
suffocating loneliness of being an only child on a ship filled with adults. You found me and brought me home when I ran
from impossible situations, and you mended them so that I could flourish. You
guided me through tremendous loss and helped me find my place with Kathryn and
Seven, in a balanced and harmonious home that you fostered through your wisdom
and patience. You saved me from my
fears and my nightmares. On Qian, you
brought me back from the brink of oblivion with the promise to love me. And now you rescue me and shelter me from the
crippling dread of a future that threatens to break my body and my spirit with
disease. You have never abandoned me.
You have always shared my sorrows and my joys as if they were equally easy to
bear, and you have stood by me at times when anyone else would have turned away
for the sake of self-preservation. You
have always been and will always be my champion.
“My heart
and my life pale in comparison to what you have given me. But they are all I have, and I offer them to
you, Kieran Kelsey Thompson, if they are not too poor a thing to give.”
Kieran’s
eyes spilled over, and she murmured, “They are everything, Naomi.” She closed
her eyes to regain a modicum of composure, smiling through her very grateful
tears.
“I have
been most blessed in my life,” Kieran began, “with the love of family and
friends, with fame, success and accolades, with a career that fulfills my
ambitions. You came to me, perfect,
beautiful, gifted, brilliant, and offering everything I could ever want. But I
was a coward, Naomi, and I tried to turn away from you, because I didn’t want
to lose all the things I had been blessed with. You reached into my soul and you showed me strength I didn’t know
I possessed, a love I could not deny, and a path I could not bear to walk
without your hand in mine. It became
clear to me that all of those blessings I had so wanted to protect were
expendable, but your love and your place in my life were not. And we defied the world to choose each
other.
“And now I
know none of those blessings singly or collectively compare to the sense of
wholeness I feel in your love and in the life we share. We have been punished and penalized and
dismissed and discounted by almost everyone around us, simply because we love
each other. And your love for me has
never faltered, never apologized, and never agreed to be invisible or
silent. You humble me with your
goodness, your iron-willed resolve, your devotion and your wisdom. I don’t deserve to be loved as you love
me. But I gladly accept that you do,
and I give you my heart, and my life in return. Whatever comes,” she gazed earnestly into her beloved’s eyes, “we
will stare it down defiantly together.
I will never be a coward again, because you are my courage and my
strength, my heart and my life.”
Willard
Carson had to compose himself to continue the ceremony. He actually wiped his eyes and cleared his
throat, struggling for a steady voice.
He looked out over the congregation, many of them crying themselves, and
his admiration for Naomi grew deeper.
To face death was one thing. But
to go on living in the shadow of it was quite another.
He took
them through the traditional wedding pledges, and asked Noah for the
rings. Noah gave Naomi’s to Kieran, and
she slipped it on Naomi’s finger.
“I promise
you my life and my heart, always and only you, for as long as we live,” she
said confidently, though it was uncertain how long life would truly grant them
together.
Noah
placed Kieran’s ring in Naomi’s palm, and Naomi put it on Kieran, smiling up at
her. “I promise you my life and my
heart, always and only you, for as long as we live,” she vowed.
Willard
Carson nodded and said “By the power vested in me, I pronounce you
married. You may kiss each other,” he
smiled.
They
kissed each other gently, Kieran holding Naomi’s face in her hands, both of
them teary eyed. Naomi hugged her
close, and whispered “I will love you long after I’ve gone, Kieran. Death can’t diminish what I feel for you.”
“Ladies
and gentlemen,” Willard announced. “May
I present Naomi and Kieran Wildman.
Congratulations,” he shook their hands each in turn.
The
congregation applauded politely, though the mood was more subdued than
festive. Kieran stood facing the crowd,
fixing them with a stern glare. “This
is a happy occasion,” she emphasized.
“Please, celebrate with us,” she insisted. The plea was understood for what it was, and all manner of
hugging and congratulations broke out.
Kieran was
swept away by family and friends, so many of whom promised support and
unyielding effort to help find a cure for Naomi. Naomi was fawned over by everyone present, and the party actually
did become much lighter hearted. It was
a lively group, and long after the cake was cut and eaten, the champagne drunk,
and the presents opened, the guests lingered, reminiscing about their days on
Voyager, planning for the future, wishing each other well.
B’Elanna
and Noah stood off from the crowd, talking to Kate Pulaski, who was working on
her sixth glass of champagne.
B’Elanna
had just offered to let Kate inspect the mission logs from Restid Three, in
hopes of finding a clue to Naomi’s illness.
They discussed the cerebrosporum, and Noah went to get the EMH to join
the brainstorming session. They talked
well into the afternoon, puzzling over the complexities of it all. Harry Kim offered himself for testing, to
see if he showed any detrimental effects from the cerebrosporum that could be
considered remotely like Naomi’s, and Tom Paris also agreed to undergo
tests. Pulaski was pleased to have
another avenue to research, but she doubted she would find any clues in the
men’s physiologies.
“So you
used to be married to Kieran?” Pulaski finally asked B’Elanna, curiosity
getting the better of her.
“That’s
right,” B’Elanna agreed.
“But she
and Naomi fell in love on Qian? Were
you broken up with Kieran by then?” Kate was in her cups, and being nosey.
B’Elanna
chuckled tightly. “I was busy trying to
eradicate some damned bacteria from the bioneural components of the ship, so I
don’t really know what happened on Qian. Kieran and I had separated by then. But I understand that’s where things—jelled
for them. By the time the Qianians had
helped us fix Voyager, I had lost my chance,” B’Elanna admitted.
“Bacteria?”
Pulaski asked faintly. “What kind of
bacteria?”
“I don’t
really know. I’m no biologist. The Qianians had the ability to detect it,
but we didn’t have the technology to even know it was there. It was very persistent stuff, too. We had to wear full decontamination gear for
the whole month it took to clean that crap out of our systems. The Qianians said it was something we picked
up on Restid Three,” B’Elanna’s face registered what she was saying. “Fucking Kahless at Khitomer,” she
swore. “That goddamned bug is probably
what’s killing Naomi!” she grabbed Pulaski’s arms and shook her.
Pulaski’s
eyes lit up. “I want to see your logs
right now,” she demanded. “Get
Kathryn.”
________________
Voyager’s
lights were dimmed in every corridor, but the lights burned brightly in the
Captain’s quarters. “This is the data,
Kate,” Janeway gave her full access. “I
have to get back to the wedding reception, but please, if you find anything,
anything at all—” her tone was pleading.
Pulaski
smiled. “I’ll hail you. This may take
awhile, but if it’s in here, I’ll find it.”
B’Elanna
was at Seven’s old workstation, diligently looking for clues. “I’ll stay too, Captain. I’d like to try to help. Will you ask Noah to watch Katie for me?”
Kathryn
walked over and kissed B’Elanna’s hair.
“This is the only lead we’ve had of any substance, B’Elanna. I’ll watch Katie myself,” she said
gratefully.
__________________
Kieran sat
on the couch in Gretchen’s living room, Naomi snuggled in her lap, still clad
in their wedding garb. The crowd was
starting to dissipate, and one by one, guests came to take their leave. The newlyweds were gracious to everyone, but
truth be told, they were ready for some privacy, if only to be out of the
public eye. Kieran couldn’t count the
number of times someone had told her “If there’s anything I can do to help…” While she appreciated the sentiment, she
held little hope in her heart. She
unconsciously tightened her grip on her beloved, who knew instantly what she
was thinking.
“My love,”
Naomi whispered in her ear. “We have
time, still. Don’t torture yourself,”
she advised gently.
Kieran hid
her face in Naomi’s neck. “I‘m sorry,”
she explained, “I just want this moment to last forever. God, you’re beautiful, and I am so lucky,”
she kissed the soft flesh of her throat.
Naomi took
Kieran’s face in her hands. “It will
last forever in your heart and your mind, just as I will,” she promised,
kissing her deeply. They lingered for
long moments, exploring each other’s lips gently, as if Kieran’s father weren’t
seated right beside them, and Captain Picard wasn’t across the room watching
them.
Picard
made himself look away, and found his gaze resting on Beverly Crusher. Perhaps, he realized, it was high time he
got his own house in order, learned to appreciate the blessings he had been
given. He smiled at the red-headed
doctor, someone he had always considered a friend and colleague, and realized
he had put off his deeper feelings for far too long. He had always told himself “someday”, had always assumed there
would be time. Now, watching Kieran and
Naomi grappling with mortality, he recognized that time is not always generous,
and someday might never come.
“What’s on
your mind, Jean-Luc?” Beverly asked, smiling back at him.
He drew
her arm through his own. “This is a
lovely farm,” he commented, leading her out onto the porch. “Let’s take a walk around the grounds. Kieran says there’s a spring-fed pond down
the trail that leads through the orchard.
Are you up for stretching your legs?”
“Sounds
nice,” Beverly agreed, folding her hands over his arm. She inclined her head in the direction of a
large group of young people. “Wesley
seems to be having fun with his old girlfriend,” she commented.
Stephanie
Moss was hanging on his every word, laughing affectedly at his anecdotes.
“He’s a
handsome young man. I imagine he could
have his choice of just about any partner he might want,” the Captain’s eyes
twinkled.
They
meandered through the apple orchard, letting the late afternoon sun warm their
faces, stealing green apples as they passed through and tasting them. Jean-Luc’s face twisted with the sourness. “Not yet,” he threw the half-eaten fruit
into a ditch.
“Was there
something specific you wanted to talk about?
You look troubled, Captain,” Beverly peered up at him as they strolled
along.
“I’ve had
a good deal on my mind,” he admitted.
“You know I always had a soft spot for Kieran,” he began, thinking back
on when he had met her as a cadet.
“She’s become everything I knew she could. But such tragic circumstances!” he shook his head. “This thing with Naomi, it’s just
unbelievable,” he frowned sympathetically.
“I know,”
Beverly breathed. “They are so in love,
and remarkably brave about it, but I’m sure inside, she’s taking it very
hard. Naomi seems to have accepted her
fate, though,” she observed.
“Kieran’s
strong, but I have to worry about how she will cope when Naomi dies.”
Beverly
chuckled. “You mean you’re worried
about your future first officer’s ability to perform her duty?” she needled
him. Always about the ship. Everything with Jean-Luc was always about
the ship.
He
surprised her by objecting. “Not at
all. I’m worried about her,
personally. I have no hope that she
will even accept the posting, with all that she’s facing right now. Starfleet is the furthest thing from her
mind. I think, in this case, her
priorities are on track, too,” he nodded affirmation.
They
walked through the thickening grass that had broken into patches of cattails
and milkweed, a sure sign of nearby water.
Pussy willow swayed lazily around them, and Queen Ann’s Lace decorated
the landscape, with broad beaded flowers spreading delicate tendrils into the
breeze. Wildflowers dotted the grassy
land, blazing color until the edge of the pond began, mossy and cool and
inviting.
“It’s
idyllic,” Beverly breathed, looking out over the water. “Kieran says she and Naomi went skinny
dipping yesterday. Looks like the
perfect place for it,” she sat down on the bank, feeling the dampness creeping
through her trousers.
“Here,”
Jean-Luc removed his jacket and spread it on the ground for her.
“Thank
you,” Beverly was truly surprised by the kindness. Usually Jean-Luc kept his uniform impeccably clean. “You know, I’m shocked to hear you say
Kieran should be stepping back from Starfleet.
That’s so unlike you, Jean-Luc.”
Her cheeks
were rosy from the walk, her lips full and ripe in the waning sunlight, and
Jean-Luc was momentarily speechless looking at the way her hair glistened in
the sunshine, the way it lit up her whole countenance. He realized he should respond to what she
had said, shaking himself inwardly. “Even I am not entirely immune to the
influence of romance, doctor,” he sounded offended. “I am not so hard-hearted that I fail to see how in love Kieran
is. Of course Naomi should be her
priority. Duty can wait,” he sat down
beside her, sharing the jacket he had spread on the ground. “In fact, watching them today, exchanging
their vows, made me wonder—”
Beverly
looked out over the water, where a blue bird sat on a cattail stalk,
singing. “Wonder what?” she shaded her
eyes to see the bird better.
“It made
me wonder if my own dedication to duty isn’t slightly misplaced,” he admitted,
squinting to discern what she was looking at.
“Beverly,” he turned to her, taking her chin in his hand. “What I’m trying to say is—” he stopped, peering into the expectant
depths of her blue-green eyes. “Oh,
damn it,” he shook his head. “I’m not
very good at this,” he complained, still looking into her eyes. He kissed her then, something he had long
imagined doing on some alien world with exotic sunsets, not beside a swamp in
Indiana.
He felt
her lips yielding beneath his, her hand cupping his head to draw him into the
embrace. They kissed for long moments,
releasing years of pent up curiosity and need, each overjoyed that there was,
in that instant, understanding and reciprocity. He deepened their kiss, and she pulled him down on her, neither
caring that they were lying in a fairly muddy patch of land with only trampled
grass to shield them from the dampness.
When he
pulled away reluctantly, she was breathing hard, gazing up at him. “Seeing them
together made me think the same thing, Jean-Luc. We’ve waited much too long for this. I love you,” she admitted, stretching up to kiss him again.
Back at
the Janeway house, loud shouts and girlish shrieks rang out over the assembled guests
as Jean-Luc and Beverly leapt naked into the pond, laughing and splashing like
children. They made love until the sun
sank below the trees, neither thinking a bit about how they would ever get back
into their mud-soaked clothes.
Kieran and
Naomi had gone for a walk to get away from the crowd still mingling on the
grounds, needing a moment alone to regroup.
They had endured the scrutiny of the three admirals that attended the
wedding, made small talk with the friends of Kieran’s parents and every cousin
and aunt and uncle Kieran possessed, and they were worn out. They wandered
along the trail, hand in hand, still dressed in their wedding clothes,
discussing the honeymoon.
“I’d like
to spend a couple of days alone with you at Aunt Phoebe’s,” Naomi was
saying. “and then we should spend some
time in Florida with your parents.
After that, I want to see some of the sights on Earth. I’d really like to go to an animal preserve,
maybe in San Diego. And I want to go
whale watching in Cape Cod,” she decided.
“I have all this money—we could stay in the best hotels, eat the finest
food and just enjoy ourselves. Is there
anything you’d like to do?”
Kieran
squeezed her hand. “Make love to you
every day,” she decided. “In between
the safari and whale watching and dining, of course,” she grinned. “I’d like to see the pyramids of Egypt. I think that culture is fascinating. And I’d like to show you all the things you
put in your holodeck program for the Qianians—seeing them in person is so much
grander than any simulation.”
Naomi
smiled up at her, and Kieran noted that she was already showing signs of rapid
aging. Her eyes had tiny laugh lines
around them, now, and the youthfulness of her face was disappearing. It made Kieran’s heart clutch in her chest.
Naomi saw
the fleeting look of sadness. “Will I
still be beautiful to you in a year, when my hair is gray and my skin is
wrinkled?” she asked.
Kieran
stopped beside the pond, grabbing her up into firm arms, kissing her fiercely.
“My love, you will always be the most beautiful woman in the known worlds to
me,” she promised. “My attraction for
you is absolute and eternal,” she kissed her again, this time slowly and
gently.
They stood
together, foreheads pressed intimately, touching each other’s faces. A muffled groan from beyond the edge of the
pond stopped them, and Kieran’s head lifted.
“What was that?” she asked.
The sound
came to them again, this time louder, the unmistakable gasping of two people
making love. Kieran grinned, pressing
her finger to her lips to hush Naomi.
“Who do you think is in the pond?” she whispered. “Wesley and Stephanie?”
Naomi
shook her head. “Look over there,” she
replied quietly, pointing to the Captain’s pips on the jacket collar that was
steeped in mud and grass.
Kieran’s
eyes widened, but her face was warm.
“Good for them,” she said softly.
“Bless his heart,” she hugged Naomi happily. “It’s about time.”
She
considered the muddy mess that was Beverly’s and the Captain’s clothing. “Kieran,” she whispered, “let’s take their
things to the guesthouse and run them through the recycler, so they don’t have
to make a scene. We can bring some
towels for them, too,” she suggested.
“You’re so
sweet,” Kieran complimented her. “Let’s
hurry, before they see us.”
___________________
Jean-Luc
crept out of the icy pond, searching in the darkness for his clothing. “Beverly,” he hissed, trying not to be
overheard, “I can’t find the damned things,” he sounded frantic.
She
laughed liltingly. “Well you’d
better. I’m not walking back to the
farm naked,” she advised, swimming to the edge of the dark water. “Try two feet to your right.”
He felt
around, but came up empty. “Good Lord,
what if Will Riker has stolen our clothes?” he gasped indignantly. “That would be just like him, too,” he
bitched.
Kieran and
Naomi came along about then, unable to make out the figure standing on the
bank. Kieran carried their warm, dry,
clean clothes and two towels, plus a jug of fresh water to rinse the mud from
their feet.
“Who’s
there?” Picard demanded.
“Captain,
it’s Kieran Wildman,” Kieran called out.
“Naomi wanted me to bring these to you.
I promise, Sir, I’ll turn my head.
May I come forward? I have your
clothes--they’re laundered, and I have towels and water to wash with.”
Picard
would’ve been thoroughly embarrassed if he weren’t so grateful for the
thoughtfulness. “I thought Will was up
to his tricks, and was going to leave us stranded out here al fresco,” he
admitted. “I’m right here. Please, turn off your wrist lamp. I’d like to retain a fraction of dignity,”
he groused.
Naomi
obediently snapped off the light source.
Kieran could feel the heat coming off his body and knew she was within
reach. “Take these towels, Sir,” she
directed him. “Beverly, come up
here. It’s okay, don’t be shy,” she
invited gently. “You can trust me to be
discreet, Sir,” she guaranteed the older man.
“The whole idea was to protect your privacy, not invade it. I didn’t think you’d want to come back to
our house covered in mud.”
Jean-Luc
took the towel and scrubbed it over his body, wrapping it around his
waist. He took the second and draped it
over Beverly, who was shivering in the darkness.
“Here’s a
wrist lamp,” Kieran pressed it into his hand.
“There’s a gallon jug of water on the ground to your right. Use it to wash your feet or you’ll ruin your
shoes and socks. When you come back,
put the towels in the hamper inside the guesthouse, and no one will be the
wiser, Captain.”
Jean-Luc
was beside himself. “Thank you,
Commander,” he said gruffly. “I owe you
one.”
Kieran
laughed. “Oh, no, Sir,” she
disagreed. “You’ve done so much for me
in my lifetime, I can never repay you, Captain. Besides, it is the duty of a first officer to protect her
Captain. Someday, Sir, I hope to accept
the job, if it’s still open when I’m ready.
If not, I’ll never forget that you made the offer,” she said sincerely.
“Thank
you, Commander. We’ll be along shortly,
then,” he said softly.
“Come on,
sweetie,” Kieran put her arm around Naomi’s shoulders. “Let’s see what’s going on at wedding
central,” she waited for Naomi to turn the wrist lamp back on.
___________________
The last
of the guests were saying their goodbyes when Kieran and Naomi got back to the
house. Kieran’s parents were off for
Florida, and her father was trying not to get too choked up.
“It’s
okay, Daddy,” Kieran assured him, hugging him firmly. “We’ll be down in a few days, I promise. I love you,” she kissed his cheek. Then grabbing her mother, she kissed her
too. “I love you, Mom. Thank you both for all your help in pulling
this event together on short notice.”
“We love
you, Starfish,” her dad said, ruffling his hand through her spiky hair. “Let us know when you’ll be in Naples.”
Wesley
Crusher was one of the last to leave the party, but before he could get out the
door to his transport, he was hailed by Kate Pulaski.
“Crusher,
here,” he responded. “Go ahead.”
“Wesley,
I’m on Voyager. Can you locate the
Traveler and join me? There’s something
crucial I need you for,” she sounded urgent.
Wesley
quirked an eyebrow, hesitating. Kathryn
Janeway grabbed his shoulder, whispering in his ear. “She’s looking for a way to help Naomi, and she must have found
something. Please, Wesley, go see what
she wants,” she urged him. “I’ll go
with you.”
“Okay, Dr.
Pulaski. I’ll find the Traveler and be
along soon. I think he’s back on
Enterprise. Crusher out.”
“Let me
tell mother where I’m off to,” Kathryn hustled away. She was back in a flash.
“Let’s go.”
________________
Seven of
Nine and Phoebe Janeway worked their way from room to room, filling Phoebe’s
house with lighted candles. Seven
remembered how much Naomi had loved that part of her hallucination, spending
her wedding night in Phoebe’s house with all the candles lighting up the rooms,
and she wanted that fantasy to come true for her daughter.
When the
last of the candles was in place, they sat down to rest, admiring the
effect. “Was there anything else?”
Phoebe asked, tired out from all the activity of the wedding.
“Naomi
said there was a small cake, and a bottle of champagne in a silver ice bucket,”
Seven remembered. “I’ll replicate those
before we leave,” she decided, sinking back on the sofa.
“Are you
okay, Seven?” Phoebe touched her hand.
“You’ve seemed so sad all day,” she observed.
“I suppose
now that the planning and the chaos is over with, I’m feeling let down,” she
fibbed.
Phoebe
thought about it. “You and Kathryn seem
to be distant with each other. I know
my sister is not the easiest person in the world to get along with, but you
seem troubled.”
Seven
sighed. “We’ve had our share of
difficulties,” she admitted. “Not the
least of which have been frequent arguments over everything related to Naomi
and Kieran’s relationship,” she confided.
“Kathryn has opposed it every step of the way, and I have had to wrangle
with her constantly to keep her from interfering. She pretends to support them, but deep down, she fundamentally
hates that they are together.”
Phoebe
nodded grimly. “She has an encompassing
need to control everything in her grasp, and this is something she can’t even
comprehend, let alone control. It must
be hell to have your daughter age twenty years in a few months. And to be faced with her death, on top of
that. I can see why Kathryn would have
trouble adjusting,” she defended her sister.
“You must have succeeded, though, Seven. Naomi is emancipated legally, and Kieran and Naomi are legally
married. Kathryn didn’t stop that from
happening.”
Seven
pinched the bridge of her nose, holding back frustrated tears. “Ever since we got Naomi’s diagnosis, she’s
been pushing to get Naomi to stay with us, not marry Kieran, and let us take
her to every medical facility in the Alpha Quadrant. She thinks Naomi’s wasting valuable time by choosing to spend her
last days with Kieran. I think Naomi
has the right to decide how she wants to live her life, no matter how short it
will be. Kathryn and I have battled
nightly over it. She actually threatened to file an appeal of the original suit
that made Naomi an emancipated adult. I’ve come very near to leaving her again,
I’ve been so tired of the constant fighting.”
“Again? You’ve broken up before?” Phoebe was
stunned.
“Twice. The first time was over Kathryn’s misplaced
and unwarranted jealousy. She thought
one of our crewmembers was in love with me—well, she was, but that was beside
the point. Kathryn totally
overreacted. We were separated for a
short time. Kieran tried to help us,
but we didn’t really reconcile until Naomi ran away from home to get away from
our bickering,” Seven explained.
“Oh, so
that’s what Naomi meant in her vows about Kieran finding her and bringing her
home when she ran from impossible situations,” Phoebe realized.
“Kieran
found her on Grailen. Had it not been
for her, Naomi would have refused to come live with us again. Kieran promised Naomi that if we ever
behaved so badly again, Naomi could live with her and B’Elanna. I can’t count the number of times Kieran has
put our family back together, or me, or Kathryn, but especially Naomi,” Seven
murmured. “And that is one of the
reasons it makes me so angry that Kathryn has treated Kieran so badly. She has been above reproach, yet Kathryn has
punished her for the heinous crime of falling in love with our daughter, as if
Kieran had a choice.”
Phoebe
toyed with the coverlet of the arm of the couch, listening intently. “What do you mean, Kieran didn’t have a
choice?”
Seven told
Phoebe the whole sordid tale of how Naomi had stolen the cortical stimulators,
and forced Kieran’s hand, all because Kathryn couldn’t accept that the two
women loved each other. She told her
how Kathryn had tried to blame their love on pheromones, and how she nearly
pushed Naomi over the edge with her stubborn refusal to accept that they were
in love.
Phoebe was
aghast. “Good God, Seven, no wonder
you’re pissed at her. I’m pissed at
her. To put them through that, it’s
just unthinkable.”
“Yes,”
Seven agreed, “and it has made me question everything. The Kathryn Janeway I fell in love with
seems to have been left behind on Restid Three. She hasn’t been the same person, since that incident. That’s when the changes really started,
because that’s when Naomi got sick the first time. We’ve grown further and further apart ever since then.”
“Do you
still love her?” Phoebe asked softly, squeezing Seven’s hand.
“Sometimes,”
Seven decided. “But less and less, I
find. I love your family, I love your
mother and you, and I love my children.
But Kathryn has shown me a side that I simply cannot tolerate, and I
question what our future will truly be, if she persists in her perverse
behavior,” Seven’s face darkened with hurt and anger.
Phoebe
studied Seven’s expression, deeply concerned.
“Perverse behavior? Seven,
should I be worried about you?” she touched the former Borg’s face, looking at
the bruise that was barely concealed by cosmetic trickery.
Seven’s
eyes registered panic. “No, please,
don’t worry about me,” she objected, flustered. “I’m certain things will settle down, now that the wedding is behind
us,” she assured herself as much as her sister-in-law. “But there are other anomalous behaviors
that I can’t reconcile in my heart,” she admitted. “Kieran was her best friend,
Phoebe. When we thought Kieran had been
killed in a spatial rift, Kathryn was inconsolable. She sank into a depression to rival the one after your father and
Justin died. Yet when all this started
with Kieran and Naomi, it was as if Kathryn selectively forgot how much she
loved Kieran, as if she forgot all the gratitude she had felt for her and all
the things they had been through together.
It damaged my sense of who Kathryn is.
I don’t look at her the same way, any longer. I don’t know how to change that, either,” she sighed.
Phoebe
nodded, understanding. “She isn’t the person
I knew, and I’ve seen drastic swings in her personality just in her letters
when you were in the Delta Quadrant.
Recent changes. I guess it was
all this grief over Naomi that did it to her.
But as odd as the situation is, and as hard as it would be to know your
best friend had fallen in love with your child, seeing Naomi with Kieran was
all the convincing I needed. I had
doubts, when Kathryn told mother and I what had happened, and I didn’t think
I’d like Kieran at all. But she is
totally devoted to Naomi, and Naomi loves her so much.”
Seven
smiled warmly. “She’s a wonderful
woman, Phoebe. I assure you, Naomi has
chosen wisely. I have no qualms about
them. I would trust Kieran with my
life, and I do trust her with Naomi’s.
I’ve seen her in so many situations that have tested her character, and
she always comes through shining. She’s
never given up on any of us, when most people would have. Naomi is very lucky,” she sounded wistful.
Phoebe was
taken aback at the tone of Seven’s voice.
“Seven?” she leaned closer. “Do
you—are you—do you have—feelings—for Kieran?”
Seven’s
face flushed, and she sputtered “No, of course not. She is a friend, and now my daughter-in-law,” she was vehement in
her appraisal.
Phoebe
knew better. “It happens, Seven. When you work closely with someone, and you
admire them a great deal, it’s not unusual to find yourself—attracted. Especially when things have been so rocky
with you and Kathryn. I’ll never tell a
soul, I promise. Does Kieran know?”
Seven
shook her head slowly. “I will never
tell her, either, or anyone else for that matter. It will pass,” she stated flatly.
“When did
you realize—?” Phoebe was fascinated at the implications. It was like a Greek tragedy.
“I suppose
it really began when Naomi was sick the first time with this aging
problem. She had exacerbating and
remitting symptoms for months, and when she was close to death, Kieran was the
one who stood by me, helped me care for her.
Eventually, Kieran was the only one caring for her, because I was too
distraught to keep doing it, without Kathryn to help me. Kieran was so patient and solid, and I felt
like Naomi was our daughter, not Kathryn’s.
I depended upon her then, in ways I never could with Kathryn, and I’m
sure it started in the midst of that,” she sighed.
“Kathryn
wasn’t supportive, in that situation?” Phoebe asked hollowly.
“She
tried, at first, but eventually, she buried herself in work, and left
everything to Kieran and I. I needed
her desperately, and she was just not there.
I’ve struggled with my attraction to Kieran ever since that time. But I realized my deeper feelings for Kieran
much later, on Qian, before Naomi and Kieran became involved. When Kieran came to pick Naomi up for the
banquet,” Seven recalled, thinking back on that night. “She came to our hotel room, and she was
standing in the hallway, waiting for me to let her in. We were all dressed up for the banquet, and
she—well, it just suddenly struck me how beautiful she truly is. I was shocked at the realization, but also
at myself for feeling that attraction, because I knew then it wasn’t just
physical, or sexual. That had never
happened to me before, not with anyone but Kathryn. And for a split second,” Seven sounded entranced, like someone
eating candy secretly, or looking at a forbidden picture, “I saw that she was
equally attracted to me. She looked me
up and down, just for a moment, and her face warmed and her pupils dilated,”
Seven was breathless, remembering. “And
she said ‘Seven, you’ve outdone yourself,’ and she told me I was more beautiful
than Sieken, which was a grand compliment in and of itself,” Seven said, face
flushed all over again. “She said ‘your
hair is perfection’, and then she couldn’t speak any more. There was an electricity between us for just
an instant, and I was taken off guard by it.
It was the way I used to feel when Kathryn looked at me, the way I felt
when she touched me, or said she loves me.
I had forgotten what it was like to feel so adored,” she sounded sad
now.
“But you
never said anything? Not even before she and Naomi got together?” Phoebe asked.
Seven
laughed. “It would have been
pointless. Even if Kieran had felt
something more for me than a fleeting attraction, which she didn’t, she would
never have allowed anything to come of it.
She is an advocate of boundaries in the extreme, and Kathryn is her best
friend. The only way she would have
ever allowed me to be with her is if Kathryn were dead. Even then, Kieran might not allow herself to
cross that boundary. She is the most
honorable person I’ve ever met, that way.
And I would do well to follow her example in that. Whenever I need a moral compass, she is my
reference point.”
“If that’s
so, then I’m surprised she gave in to Naomi,” Phoebe noted.
“She says
she never would have, except Kathryn told her to bring Naomi back to us, and
that was the only way Naomi would relinquish her hallucinatory world. Naomi made her promise they would be
together. Kieran knew if she tried to
back out of the agreement, Naomi would find a way to go back into the
hallucination and then she’d never trust Kieran again if Kieran tried to
retrieve her.”
Phoebe’s
head was reeling. “And so you never
told either of them how you feel about Kieran.
Does Kathryn know?”
Seven
smirked. “I have never confirmed
anything for her, though she has been accusatory any number of times. Friday, I was in your father’s study, trying
to decide what wedding clothes suited Kieran.
I was studying a picture of her, thinking about the shape of her body,
and the most pleasing drape of fabric for her figure, and Kathryn came in and
saw me staring at that picture. I
suppose I must have looked sad, because she made some comment about how she
wished I’d stare at her like that, and pine for her. I thought I had hidden my feelings well, but apparently, I have
not. And then last night, she screamed
accusations at me, said she knew Kieran had made advances toward me, and I was
so angry I admitted my feelings, in part.
Believe me, Phoebe, I don’t want to feel like this. It’s inappropriate for any number of
reasons, not the least of which is that I’m married. But it has made me feel great sympathy for Kieran, because now I
know what it is to deny your feelings in favor of what is proper and expected,
without regard to what you want for yourself.”
“Kieran
said in her vows that she had been a coward, and ran from what she felt for
Naomi. Did she, really?” Phoebe still
held Seven’s hand, trying to support her.
“She made
a valiant effort,” Seven chuckled.
“When we got to the banquet, I saw how Kieran was looking at Naomi, and
I knew then she was very far gone, indeed.
But she was so convicted that it was wrong to love Naomi, she wouldn’t
approach her. In fact, Naomi had an
affair with Sieken, and Kieran knew it, and stepped aside, thinking it was best
for Naomi and for Kathryn.”
“How did
they ever end up admitting their feelings for each other, if Naomi was with
Sieken?”
Seven told
her the entire story, as it had been filled in by Naomi at various stages. Seven knew all about Kieran’s role in
helping Naomi meet Sieken, though Kathryn still hadn’t been told that
part. Seven explained how Kieran had
been neurologically damaged by the exposure to Naomi and Sieken’s joining, and
how Sholten had tried to help but only left Kieran worse off. And Naomi saved Kieran then, and in so
doing, saw into Kieran’s mind and heart, and knew the truth.
“Wow,”
Phoebe breathed. “That’s amazing. So the only reason Kieran ever told Naomi
anything was Naomi got inside her head and looked for herself. And then Kieran couldn’t deny it any
longer.”
Seven
nodded. “Kieran tried, even then, to
send Naomi away. But then Naomi took
the cortical stimulators, and you know what happened from there.”
“So where
does that leave you?” Phoebe asked faintly.
“Married,
with a child to raise, and a partner who is a stranger most of the time, I
suppose,” Seven grinned ruefully. “Kieran talked me into going back to Kathryn,
after the incident with the pheromone research, and I probably only agreed
because Kieran was so sure we could work things out, Kathryn and I.”
“You
really do put a lot of stock in the things Kieran says to you, then. I’m not so sure I’d stay with Kathryn,
Seven. Not to sound disloyal, but if
you really don’t love her anymore, why put yourself through it?” Phoebe’s dark
eyes registered sympathy and compassion, and she squeezed Seven’s hand in her
own consolingly.
Seven
sighed. “I needed to be sure I still
had the power and influence to help Naomi and Kieran realize their dream. Now it’s done. If I find that things aren’t improving soon, I’ll ask Kathryn for
a divorce. I hate it that it’s come to
that. But who knows. We can’t fight about Naomi, anymore. She’s married.”
They sat
in silence awhile longer, admiring the flickering candles. “Well, let’s replicate a cake and some
champagne,” Phoebe finally said. “I
think I hear voices coming up the road.
We can slip out the back door and walk back to Mom’s.”
Seven
smiled warmly. “Thank you for
listening, Phoebe. I guess I needed to
talk about it.”
Phoebe
slid an arm around Seven’s waist. “What
are sisters for?” she asked brightly.
__________________
The
fairyland of candlelight took Naomi’s breath away as they pushed open the door,
revealing the fantasy world inside Phoebe’s house.
“She
remembered,” Naomi said softly.
“Seven—I told her about the hallucinations, and she remembered how much
I loved this part.”
Kieran
smiled down at her. “So do I. So put your arms around my neck, and I’ll
carry you over the threshold,” she offered, scooping the slight Ktarian into
her arms. As they eased through the
door jamb, Kieran kissed her, then set her back down. “I love you, Naomi. Thank
you for marrying me,” she said sincerely.
Naomi slid
her hands up the fabric of Kieran’s sky blue blouse, loving the slick texture
of it. She gazed up at her first and
only love with eyes filled with longing and admiration. “I should be thanking you. And in fact, I intend to,” she grinned
wickedly. “Let’s see if Seven
remembered the rest of the fantasy,” she tugged Kieran by the hand into the
kitchen. She smiled broadly. “She remembered the whole thing,” she found
a knife to cut the two-person sized wedding cake.
They cut
it together, just as they had the large one that morning, and fed each other
small bites that left fluffy white icing on their lips. They kissed it away, enjoying the sticky
sweet taste of it, but enjoying the kisses more.
“I’ll open
the champagne, if you like,” Kieran offered.
Naomi
nodded.
Kieran
muscled the cork out of the bottle, managing not to spill the contents as the
cork popped out with a loud snapping sound.
She chased the fountain spewing from the bottle’s neck and caught it in
the flutes Seven had left them, letting the golden liquid bubble to the
top. She handed a glass to Naomi, and
they twined their arms together, drinking deeply.
“Nice,”
Kieran commented on the flavor of the wine.
“Do you like it?”
“It’s the
best I’ve ever had,” Naomi agreed. “And
so are you. Right now, I’d like to take
that bottle upstairs, and share it with you naked,” she decided.
“Okay,”
Kieran grabbed the ice bucket and wedged the bottle back into the glistening
cubes. “Lead the way. Do you want me to bring the cake? You might need a sugar rush, by the time I’m
done with you,” she flirted.
“By all
means,” Naomi reached for it. “I think
I’d like to smear icing all over your breasts, and lick it off,” she rested her
free hand on Kieran’s ass.
Kieran
shuddered. “Another fantasy?”
“Yep. That’s two this weekend,” she mentally
checked the list off. “Maybe if you’re
feeling particularly energetic, we can try for numbers three and four,” she
waggled her eyebrows, heading for the stairs.
Naomi set
the cake on the bureau, and Kieran put the ice bucket and flutes on the
nightstand. She reached for Naomi then,
kissing her and beginning the slow, methodical removal of clothing that always
aroused them both so much, they rarely got half undressed before their first
orgasms. Kieran eased the satin blouse
from Naomi’s shoulders, kissing the soft, bare flesh with tender lips, brushing
them faintly over the articulation of collar bone and arm, listening for the
faint intake of breath that the sensation always elicited. She fumbled with the buttons at the sleeves,
and Naomi’s arms were free. Suddenly
inspired to play guessing games about Naomi’s fantasies, she eased her down on
the four-poster bed, drew her arms over her head, and wrapped them tightly in
the blouse.
“Might
this be one of your fantasies, too?” she asked softly, her face amused at the
widening of Naomi’s eyes. She bound her
hands to the post, then ravished her breasts through the fabric of her
brassiere. “Is it?” she teased the
nipples with her teeth.
Naomi
gasped. “Yes,” she shivered at the
admission.
“Tell me,”
Kieran demanded, unfastening Naomi’s pants and sliding her hand beneath them.
“I—oh
God,” Naomi felt fingers brush over her labia.
“I dreamed it once,” she said with a sigh.
“Tell me,”
Kieran repeated, easing the slacks off her body and removing shoes and
socks. She kissed the arches of Naomi’s
feet, massaging them and kissing a trail to her thighs. “Tell me or I’ll stop,” she insisted.
Naomi
groaned. “Don’t stop,” she
requested. “I dreamed that I was in
Dutritt’s lab, before he had done anything terrible to me,” she breathed softly
as Kieran lay over her, thigh pressed between Naomi’s legs. “I was restrained and naked, just as it
really happened, but before he could hurt me, you came and rescued me,” she
explained. “It was so vivid,” she
recalled, feeling her bra sliding away.
Warm hands encompassed her breasts, and she arched into them. “Oh, God, Kieran,” she gasped as she felt
wet warmth around her nipples, each in turn.
“And then
what happened,” Kieran prompted her.
“You—you—oh,
I love when you do that,” she lost her train of thought as careful teeth held
her nipple firmly and bit down softly.
“You looked at me, lying there, and it was as if you couldn’t help
yourself,” she recalled. “You kissed
me, and you touched me, and you made me shudder with pleasure,” she
admitted. “I promised I would never
tell anyone, if only you would make love to me,” she continued, her words
coming in short breaths.
“And did
I, Naomi?” Kieran said huskily. “Did I make love to you?”
Naomi jolted
as fingers entered her cleft, pressing deeply into her core. “Yes,” she raised her legs to allow Kieran’s
fingers passage. “You—you—” she was
panting, “you touched my clit with your fingers,” she remembered.
“Like
this?” Kieran whispered, stroking gently at the distended flesh.
Naomi
writhed beneath her touch. “Yes. And you stood there watching me, watching me
strain to make you touch me harder,” she lifted her hips to illustrate.
“And did
you like it?” Kieran was breathing heavily now, too.
“I loved
it, and I begged you—I begged you—” she jerked against Kieran’s fingers, very
close to her peak.
“Begged me
to do what, Naomi?” Kieran’s voice was hoarse with desire.
“I begged
you to take me with your mouth,” she admitted, “and you did, and I came so hard
I woke up from the dream in the middle of real climax,” she let it all out in a
rush.
Kieran
buried her face in Naomi’s sex, driving her toward the release she had achieved
in her dream, reveling in the taste of her.
Naomi lifted her buttocks, letting Kieran slide her hands beneath them,
large hands pressing Naomi up to her face where she could suckle and lick and
devour her.
“Kieran!”
Naomi cried out, “oh God, yes, like that, that’s what you did,” she was
murmuring nonsensically, coming in brittle jolts against Kieran’s tongue.
Kieran was
relentless until Naomi’s legs began to tremble with weakness. She withdrew her fingers and kissed Naomi’s
sex softly, soothing jangled senses and easing the last vestiges of the orgasm
from her flesh. She ascended the length
of her body, untying her hands and drawing her into strong, welcoming
arms. Naomi wasted no time in removing
Kieran’s vest and blouse, eager to return the pleasure, and before the last
ripple of her own climax had subsided completely, she had Kieran undressed and
spread beneath her.
“That was
amazing,” she breathed into Kieran’s kiss.
“God, you do things to me that just—there are no words,” Naomi
shuddered, remembering.
Kieran
grinned facetiously. “Not messy and
disgusting?” she teased.
“Never
disgusting,” Naomi laughed.
“Wonderfully messy. Speaking of
which, how do you feel about becoming the most delicious confection I’ve ever
eaten?” she waggled her eyebrows.
“I don’t
know about that, Na,” Kieran sounded reluctant. “It seems like a waste of perfectly good cake,” she lamented.
“Oh,
believe me, honey,” Naomi got up and brought the remains over to the bed. “It won’t go to waste.” She smiled confidently at her wife, “And if
I eat it all, I’ll replicate another, how’s that?” she flirted.
She
scooped a generous amount of butter cream frosting onto her finger, then spread
it down the length of Kieran’s torso, from her sternum to her navel. She followed the thin line with her tongue,
lapping at the icing, while Kieran propped her head on two pillows and
watched. She decided it was a pretty
interesting sight, watching Naomi’s tongue dart over her skin, leaving wet,
sticky drops that cooled in the evening air and evaporated. She breathed in softly as Naomi painted her
nipples with the light fluff, then sucked it off again. Her eyes closed involuntarily as she watched
Naomi’s darker tongue contrasted against white frosting, flicking the substance
away, leaving nothing behind. Naomi
concentrated more on Kieran’s flesh, then, less interested in the sweetness,
and Kieran was mesmerized, still watching Naomi’s tongue pleasuring her.
Another
path was placed from her belly to her thigh, and it disappeared in Naomi’s lips
inch by inch. Kieran’s vision began to
blur as Naomi kissed her inner thighs, sucking and licking at the mildly sticky
film the confection left behind. She
grinned mischievously as Kieran opened her legs, willingly participating in the
game now. Naomi took a dab of icing on
her fingertip and put it on Kieran’s clit.
She
hesitated, looking up from the ‘V’ of Kieran’s thighs. Kieran groaned in anticipation.
“I’m not
sure you like my idea, very much,” Naomi teased. “Should I save this dollop of icing for you? I wouldn’t want it to go to waste,” she
breathed hotly on Kieran’s labia, licking all around the spot of frosting, not
touching it.
“I love
your idea, Na, I swear,” she pleaded.
“God, please don’t stop now,” she sunk her fingers into the sheets,
panting.
Naomi
wrapped her lips around the bead of icing, sucking it away in an instant,
fluttering her tongue on Kieran’s clit to cleanse it, listening to her lover’s
tortured breaths. She trapped the tiny
node between her teeth, working it mercilessly until Kieran came to her,
fingers tearing at the bed, body rigid with the force of the release. As Kieran climaxed, Naomi entered her in
both openings, and Kieran cried out sharply with the doubled impact of the
orgasm ripping through her.
Naomi lay
contentedly between her legs, listening as her breathing subsided in gradual
increments, waiting for the shivering to dissipate. When Kieran was quiescent, she climbed up her lean, long frame,
kissing as she moved, then capturing her lips.
“Ye of little faith,” she accused, grinning.
“I’ll
never doubt you again. You can deck me
in chocolate, next, if you’re still hungry,” Kieran added, eyes still crossed
from the power of the peak.
“Actually,”
Naomi admitted, “I am pretty hungry.
Maybe we should have some dinner--something a little more substantial
than iced labia,” she laughed, kissing her wife.
“I bet
Phoebe and Seven stocked the frig,” Kieran agreed. “We could have a picnic in
bed, if you want,” she eased up from her prone position, fighting a head rush.
“Behold
the converted,” Naomi laughed. “You
liked that better than you thought you would, eh KT?”
Kieran
kissed her forcefully. “You never cease
to thrill me,” she agreed. “You can
make the most mundane things totally erotic.
How the hell do you do that?”
Naomi
shrugged. “I think it’s just ’cause
you’re in love with me. I don’t think
it’s something I really do, per se,” she giggled, though she was pleased with
the assessment.
“Who says
I’m in love with you? I married you for
the sex,” Kieran contended playfully.
“So let’s go have dinner and get to the payoff, already,” she slipped
her arms around her lover, in no hurry at all to go anywhere, nuzzling her neck
and hair with the softest of kisses.
“Did you really dream that about me?” she wanted to know.
“Yes. It was the first orgasm I ever had, in fact. I wasn’t even sure that’s what it was, but
when I woke up drenched in sweat and in—other things,” she blushed, “I realized
that’s what had happened. No wonder
they call them wet dreams,” she chuckled.
“I kept hoping I’d dream it again, so I could feel that again. But the dream never reoccurred. So I had to take matters into my own hands,”
she waggled her eyebrows.
“You mean
I’m the reason you learned to masturbate?” Kieran was incredulous.
“Well,
yes, but more than just you, I wanted to experience that feeling wide
awake. I just happened to always think
about making love with you when I—experimented,” she said.
“You hate
that word, don’t you?” Kieran chided her.
“You can’t bring yourself to say it, but you could do it,” she laughed.
“It just sounds
too guilty, I think. The connotation
for me is Icheb, hiding in the bathroom and getting himself off. I always associate the word masturbate with
boys,” she said distastefully. “What I
do to myself doesn’t seem even remotely the same. It needs a better word,” she decided.
“Like
what?” Kieran asked, amused.
“I don’t
know. Something that sounds as nice as
the way it makes me feel, I guess,” she explained. “It sounds so furtive and dirty, to say you masturbate. For me, it was a really wonderful way to be
with you, when I couldn’t truly be with you.
I could make love with you, and be intimate with you, but avoid having
B’Elanna behead me,” she laughed softly.
Kieran
echoed her laughter. “Was it always me
you thought about?” she breathed the fragrance of Naomi’s hair, thinking these
quiet interludes of talking and loving were her favorite part of sex, not the
act itself.
“Always,”
Naomi affirmed. “On the one or two
occasions I tried to imagine myself with someone other than you, I didn’t get aroused. And in some truly weird way, I felt
unfaithful to you, for trying to think about someone else.”
Kieran
hugged her close. “I love you so
much. You’re just unreal for my ego,”
she kissed her shoulders. “If you felt
unfaithful fantasizing about other people, did you feel unfaithful sleeping
with Sieken?” she asked, still puzzled by that event on some levels.
Naomi
sighed. “I know you might not
understand this, but Sieken was a totally conscious decision to break from
you. You had refused to admit you cared
for me, and I was convinced you were never going to let yourself feel what I
was sure you held in your heart for me.
I know you think, in some recess of your mind, that I slept with Sieken
to make you jealous. But that’s not
so. I slept with Sieken to try to force
myself to move on and let you go. And
the other thing about Sieken was that I did find her beautiful, and charming,
and when she reflected my own and her feelings to me, it multiplied the
attraction and the arousal. If Sieken hadn’t
had that ability, probably nothing would have happened. But she not only overwhelmed me with my
reflected feelings, she deflected the feelings I have for you, and made them
less prominent, less consuming, for that time I was with her. It was such a relief to finally not be
drowning in my love for you, only to have you ignore it.”
“I’m so
sorry, Na,” Kieran murmured. “I never
meant to cause you pain, or to be unkind.
I was only trying to keep Kathryn from beheading me, just as you worried
about B’Elanna coming for you,” she explained.
“I know
that now,” Naomi agreed. “But at the
time, all I could see was that you either didn’t, or wouldn’t, love me back,
even though you were no longer with B’Elanna.
Sieken healed a lot of that disappointment, because she could feel how
acute it was. She never told me you
felt the same, though, and that makes me angry now, when I think about it. Instead of sleeping with me, she should have
reflected your feelings to me, so I would’ve known that everything I suspected
was true.”
“It
wouldn’t have been her place, Naomi,” Kieran argued. “She must have sensed how much turmoil I was in over you, and
decided to leave me to wrestle my own demons.
You see how well I succeeded,” she held out her hand to display the two
bands on her finger. “You told me once
that you think you’re as much a lesbian as I am,” Kieran felt like talking more
than eating, now.
Naomi
laughed. “I don’t think that’s quite
what I said, but let’s adjourn this conversation to the kitchen, before I pass
out,” she chastised her lover, getting out of bed.
They
padded down the stairs, tugging on t-shirts procured from Kieran’s suitcase as
they walked. Naomi rifled through the
refrigerator, finding leftover chicken casserole her grandmother had made. “This’ll work,” she muttered, setting it in
the replicator to reheat.
“Okay,”
Kieran recalled the conversation, “you told me as far as intimacy went with
men, ‘no thanks’, and that part of sex still sounded messy and disgusting. Do you still feel that way?”
She
screwed up her face, thinking. “How do
I feel about men?” she asked herself.
“I don’t really know, KT. I’ve
never even given them a second thought.
Icheb had feelings for me, but I always dismissed him. I don’t know if that’s because he’s a man,
or because he’s Icheb,” she laughed. “I
think, like you, I always assumed I would be with a woman, but more
specifically, I always knew I wanted to be with you. No one else really crossed my mind. I can’t think of a time I’ve ever looked at any of the men I
know, and been remotely curious about sleeping with them. I guess that part of sex does still sounds
disgusting and messy to me,” she explained, retrieving their dinner. She grabbed plates and silverware, then
served them both. “I guess I’m a full
blown lesbian, Counselor,” she raised the glass of iced tea Kieran had just set
down on the table.
“Thank
Kahless,’” Kieran breathed. “That makes
my life a lot simpler.”
Naomi
tasted her casserole, nodding approvingly.
“Even if I weren’t,” she pointed out, “I’ve only been in love one time,
and I was lucky enough to marry the only person I’ve ever loved. That should be cause for feeling pretty
secure. Besides,” she pointed out, “I
can’t imagine I’m going to live long enough to fall out of love,” she tried for
some levity.
Kieran
grabbed her hand, squeezing it until the bones threatened. “Let’s not talk about that, okay? For tonight, I’d like to pretend we have
eons to enjoy this relationship,” she frowned.
“Okay,
honey,” Naomi agreed.
“So when
you were with Sieken, did you enjoy the heterosexual part of her anatomy?”
Naomi
shrugged. “If you mean did I like being
penetrated, I enjoyed it. Sieken was a
very considerate lover. She was gentle
and careful with my body, and everything clicked. But could I do those sorts of things with a human male? Not
likely. Sieken’s phallus was slender,
not thick, and it was very easy to accommodate the size and shape. I don’t think I’d do so well, with a human
male, nor would I want to try it,” she determined. “What about you, with Sholten?”
Kieran
shook her head. “I don’t remember
it. I only remember that I was
overwhelmed with thoughts of you, that I couldn’t get the images of you and
Sieken out of my head, and I could feel what it was like to touch you. I was fixated on that, on my fingers
stroking you, and I was so over stimulated, I was just mentally gone. Sholten gave me sexual release, though I’m
not sure how, and I have a vague recollection of her moving between my legs,
but my synapses overloaded during the experience, and I couldn’t tell you any
details with any certainty. I know that
while I was with her, somehow, the thoughts of you disappeared, and that was a
relief. It’s hell to want desperately
what you can’t have, and oh, God, Na, I wanted you. It felt like every nerve ending in my body was burning, not just
with lust, but it was actual pain and need.
It was awful. Sholten made it
stop, but you know the end result was a disaster.”
Naomi
nodded. “I was so jealous that you’d
been with her, I just hated her after that.
Why did you ask about penetration?
Just your curiosity?”
Kieran
smiled, chewing her dinner. “No,
actually,” she chuckled. “I was
thinking about something Noah told me to do to save my marriage to B’Elanna. He suggested I—get my own phallus, and take
her to bed like a man,” Kieran blushed furiously at the admission.
Naomi
grinned. “And did you?”
“No,”
Kieran said sheepishly. “I was too
prudish to consider it.”
Naomi
waggled her eyebrows. “If I wanted you
to do that to me, would you?”
“Yes,”
Kieran replied without hesitation.
“Somehow, with you, everything is just easier, that way. I wouldn’t feel like your wanting to be
penetrated was an indictment of my own anatomy. That’s how it felt with B’Elanna, though, because I saw her
practically getting it from Tom Paris, I guess. It just seemed too artificial to think about that with her.”
Naomi
stole a mushroom from Kieran’s plate.
“I think we should try everything, at least once,” she watched Kieran’s
reaction.
The older
woman swallowed hard. “Okay. I promised you whatever you want, and I
meant it.”
Naomi
smiled sweetly. “I love a woman who is
adventurous,” she flirted. “Did you
like what I did to you this evening?”
Kieran’s
mouth was suddenly dry as dirt. “Which
part?”
“When you
were coming, and I put my fingers in you at the apex of it,” she reminded her,
her voice throaty.
Kieran’s
eyes closed involuntarily. “It was
incredible. You’ve never penetrated me
from behind like that.”
“I’d like
to again, only not just to push you over the edge this time,” she started to
verbally seduce Kieran again. “I want
to touch you there for a much longer time, and let it take you to the edge
slowly,” she put down her fork. “I
think we should do it at the same time to each other, and see how that feels,”
she continued, reaching across the table to stroke Kieran’s palm with her
fingers.
“I think
that would be fine,” Kieran said weakly.
“I think
right now would be too long to wait,” Naomi pushed away from the table, taking
Kieran’s hand. “I hope you got enough
to eat, because you won’t have another chance until well into the morning,” she
informed her wife.
________________
After a
quick trip to the replicator for some lubricant gel, they stripped off their
t-shirts and crawled into bed, finishing the flutes of champagne they had
poured earlier.
Naomi
kissed Kieran then, dribbling champagne on her chest and kissing it up
again. “I can’t believe we’re actually
married,” she murmured, setting her flute aside. “We’re finally legal in all fifty states,” she kissed Kieran
firmly on the mouth, then parted her lips with an inquisitive tongue.
“Yes,”
Kieran agreed, “but what you were talking about in the kitchen isn’t legal in
all fifty states,” she laughed.
Naomi
trailed her fingers over Kieran’s butt cheek as they rolled onto one side. “Oh, good,” she giggled, “then let’s break
some laws, baby,” she growled. She
flipped open the cap of the tube of lubricant, squeezed out a liberal amount,
and smoothed it between Kieran’s cheeks, kissing her hotly as she stroked
there. She teased around the opening,
pressed into it without penetrating, and withdrew again. “Do you like to be touched there?” she asked
between kisses.
Kieran
sighed into her mouth, groaning at the intimate tone of her voice. “Yes,” she confessed. “I love it.”
“Then why
haven’t you ever asked me to do it?” Naomi insisted to know. “We’ve been lovers for a long time,
Kieran. We’ve made love hundreds of
times. Yet you never told me,” she rebuked
her lover.
“I don’t
know,” Kieran shivered. “I have a hard
time asking for the things I want, I guess,” she said softly.
“Is it
that you don’t want to ask, or that you don’t want to be vulnerable to me?”
Naomi teased her opening in tantalizing stokes.
Kieran
gasped as a solitary finger entered her, easing into the tiny, muscled
opening. “I think it’s because I don’t
know what words to use, Na. I don’t
want to be vulgar,” she asserted.
“Is it
vulgar to ask to be loved?” Naomi demanded, sliding deeper into her.
“N-no,”
Kieran shuddered, biting Naomi’s shoulder.
“But how do I tell you that’s what I want, without being crude?”
Naomi
laughed softly. “I don’t suppose saying
‘take me in the ass’ works for you?”
Kieran
scowled. “That’s too crude. And that’s exactly what I would have to
say,” she arched into Naomi’s belly, feeling the wriggling inside her.
“No, you
can say ‘take me from behind’. That’s
not crass,” Naomi encouraged her. “It
upsets me that you’ve allowed me to deprive you of something you truly enjoy,
for lack of the right words.”
Kieran
groaned needfully as the rhythm intensified inside her. “I don’t feel deprived.”
“I want us
to communicate better, Kieran,” Naomi urged her verbally and with her
fingers. She slipped a second one into
the tiny orifice. “Promise me, if there
are things you want, you won’t omit them,” she spread her fingers slightly,
causing a faint stretching sensation, and Kieran shuddered hard with the
motion.
“I’ll tell
you everything, from now on,” Kieran promised.
Cold feverish chills raced through her, emanating from her belly and
crawling deliciously up her back. She
reached behind her and found the lubricant gel, coated her finger with it, and
slid her hand between Naomi’s cheeks.
“You said at the same time,” she reminded her. “Is that what you want?”
Naomi
kissed her ferociously, lifting her leg over Kieran’s hip in silent
offering. Kieran pressed into her,
catching the heated sound in their kiss.
They moved together in tandem, straining against each other until they
were soaked in sweat, aching for release.
Kieran slid her thumb between Naomi’s labia, finding her node, feeling
the yielding inside her as they moved.
Naomi mirrored the intimate intrusion, and the combined stimulation soon
had them in a frenzy of motion and heat and pleasure that fractured as suddenly
as it had begun, leaving them spent and dazed and shivering in cold
perspiration.
They lay
tangled together, still inside each other, gasping for breath and unable to
move. Kieran kissed Naomi deeply,
feeling her own vulnerability as fully as she had on Qian when they were
joined. “I love you, Naomi,” she
whispered, heart filled to bursting.
“I’m sorry I never told you,” she started to cry quietly, tears running
down her cheeks. “I want to tell you
everything, but I don’t want to be shocking, either,” she admitted her fear.
Naomi
kissed away her tears. “My love, there
is nothing you can say that would shock me.
You might surprise me, a little, but I imagine I’ve had every sexual fantasy
about you that’s ever been conceived of, and nothing you tell me you want to do
together will make me turn away from you.
I want to meet your needs, but I have to know what they are before I
can,” she said passionately.
“It’s just
that I think of you as so innocent,” she began.
Naomi
snorted indignantly. “After all the
things we’ve done in bed, you still think of me as innocent?” she laughed. “I’ve said everything to you short of
screaming ‘fuck me now’, Kieran. How
can you think I’d find you too crude?
You don’t have to hold back, or be reserved in any way. I’m giving you permission to say whatever
you want, ask for whatever you enjoy.
Trust me to be good for this, honey,” she beseeched, kissing her
forcefully.
Kieran
withdrew her fingers, finally, so she could hold her closer. “When you talk openly to me, when you say
exactly what’s on your mind,” she admitted, “it gets me so excited, I could
burst into flames,” she nuzzled Naomi’s throat. “It never seems too blunt.
It makes me feel like, ‘God, she really, really wants me. ’ That contrast in my head, of you being
innocent, but then saying or doing such overtly sexual things—that just floors
me. It gives you incredible power over
me, sexually. So don’t think I ever
hide my vulnerability from you. I
don’t,” she insisted.
They gazed
into each other’s eyes for a long time, silently seeking that connection they
always found after they made love.
Naomi slipped her fingers free, letting them dangle off Kieran’s hip. “I think we should clean up a little,” she
recommended. “Keep things safe,” she
added.
“Why don’t
we take a long, hot shower?” Kieran suggested.
“I’m feeling pretty grungy, between the gel and the icing,” she smiled
at her lover.
“Okay. I’ll start it running. Don’t go anywhere,” she moved away from
Kieran, swinging her legs over the bed.
“In fact, why don’t you recycle the sheets?” she added from inside the
ensuite. “I think they could use some
attention,” she laughed.
“Are you
saying I leave snail trails, Naomi?” Kieran chuckled, noting the pastry glaze
on the fabric where they had left wet marks repeatedly.
Naomi
stuck her head around the corner. “I’m
saying we both do,” she quipped.
__________________
Showered
and clad in bathrobes that Kieran’s parents had given them for a wedding
present, the newly weds lay on the fresh sheets, finishing the wedding cake
Phoebe and Seven had replicated. The
sky outside was starting to get lighter, and the chronometer said it was after
four a.m. Kieran sucked icing from
her fork, not wanting to let a bite of it go uneaten.
“So what
else don’t I know about you?” Naomi grinned at her.
“Probably
a lot of things,” Kieran said, shrugging.
“I don’t consciously hide things, or agonize over whether to tell you
something. If it comes up, I usually
say something,” she assured her. “As
for taking me in the ass,” she laughed at the cruder form of the expression, “I
just figured eventually you’d get around to doing it, and when you did, I’d
tell you how much I love it, and then we’d do it again. I wasn’t in a big hurry.”
Naomi
fixed her with a pointed stare. “You
should be, honey. Two years isn’t very
long.”
“No, it
isn’t, and a thousand years with you wouldn’t be nearly enough,” Kieran said
vehemently, her eyes filling once again.
“But I don’t want to live in a state of desperation, either, my
love. I don’t want to cling and claw
and worry that every second with you might be my last. There has to be a balance between the sense
of urgency we both feel, and the need for normalcy. Can we do that? Can we
find that middle ground?”
Naomi
nodded. “I think we have found it—or
that we’re feeling our away along the ground in the dark, looking for it. I feel mostly at peace about my fate. I’m frightened, of course, because I know
it’s going to get painful, but I also know you’ll be with me, and your love is
all that matters to me. It’s all that
has ever really mattered to me. I used
to get so angry with B’Elanna, when I was working in Engineering during the
time you were broken up. I’d look at
all the ways she was blowing it with you, and I’d think, ‘God damn it, if I had
the chance you’ve been given, I’d do it right’. I never thought I’d get my chance. Now that I have it, I’m just determined to do it better with you
than anyone else ever has. That’s why I
get so intense about things, sometimes.
I’m sorry if it gets tedious, KT.”
“It never
gets tedious, Na. And you can’t call me
KT anymore,” she teased her. “It’s KW,
now,” she smiled brightly, kissing her briefly.
“I love it
so much that you took my name,” Naomi murmured. “I can’t even begin to tell you.”
Kieran
hugged her. “I figured since I didn’t
get your virginity, I should get something that’s uniquely yours,” she joked,
tickling Naomi’s ribs.
“Just
because Sieken was technically my first, doesn’t mean you didn’t get my
virginity. Like I said, I had my first
orgasm with you, and all the others, after that, too, until Sieken. But you can be jealous, if you want.”
“I’m not
really jealous,” she said thoughtfully.
“Well, yes, I guess I am, now that I really think about it. I mean, the way things happened—I wouldn’t
change them, because they got us here.
I’d change your illness, of course, but the other stuff I can live
with. Even knowing Sieken was the first
person who made you come. Though I’d
have given anything to see that look on your face for the first time, that look
of wonder and amazement and utter surprise.
That ‘Ah-ha’ recognition that says ‘God, so this is what the fuss is
about,’” Kieran toyed with Naomi’s long hair, twirling it around her finger.
“Didn’t
you see it?” Naomi asked. “Sieken told
me it was as if you were with us.”
“I did see
it,” Kieran corrected herself. “What I
meant was, I’d have given anything to be the one to give you that look,” she
explained.
“I wish
you had, too,” Naomi admitted. “Does it
help that you’re giving it to me now, several times a day?” she smiled
playfully.
“Oh, it
helps tremendously,” Kieran agreed. “So
would you like me to put it on your face right now, or would you rather sleep?”
Naomi
smiled, that soft, slow smile that never failed to make Kieran’s pulse
quicken. “I don’t want our wedding
night to be over yet,” she murmured.
“So keep me awake.”
_________________
“This is a
whole new education,” Kieran stammered, perusing Phoebe’s workstation
display. “You’re going to have to help
me, Na, because this is raw territory for me,” she said, bewildered by the
array of SED’s scrolling by. “Some of
them use electric pulses, some use sonic waves, some look like human genitalia,
some don’t, there are all colors, shapes, and sizes. Do you have any idea what might feel good to you?”
“I don’t
know, honey. Take out all the ones that
look like human males, for starters,” she punched the keys for Kieran. “That narrowed it down to a few
hundred.” She looked at the devices,
also staggered by the sheer number and variety. “Okay, filter out the ones with a diameter of over two inches,
and a length of over seven inches,” she let Kieran apply the data
parameters. “Now we’re down to a couple
hundred. I think sound waves would be
superior to electrical pulses, and quieter, don’t you?”
“Sure,”
Kieran selected those out. “Okay, here
are the remaining choices,” they were down to 36. “How about if we narrow it down to the ones that mimic our body
temperatures, too? I can’t imagine
having something cold inside you or me,” she smiled. “That leaves these 20. Do
you have any other preferences?”
“I like
the purple one,” she decided. “Nice
shape, nice length, not too thick, and a pretty color. How does it work?”
Kieran
drilled down into the product description.
“It has a sensor that the wearer slips inside, that creates sound waves
inside to stimulate both partners at once,” she read the details. “There are variable settings for the
intensity of the sound waves. It
affixes to the body by retractable straps that adjust automatically for size
and slippage.”
Naomi
giggled. “Let’s try it. What’s the replicator code?”
Kieran
read off the numbers while Naomi programmed the replicator.
“Hey,”
Kieran put in, “wipe out the memory when you’re done. I don’t want Phoebe to see what we’ve been doing with her
replicator.”
Naomi
nodded, tapping in commands to wipe the record of the transaction clean. The device materialized on the tray, and she
picked it up, looking it over. “Doesn’t
look like much,” she commented. “The
controls are microscopic. I need a tool
to set them,” she rummaged in Phoebe’s desk drawer, finding a small pointer for
a PADD. “This will work.”
She and
Kieran thundered up the stairs, laughing, suddenly in a hurry to try the new
toy. Naomi dove onto the bed rolling
onto her back. “Okay, what setting do
you think we should try for the sensor?”
“Start
with the lowest one, in case it’s really powerful,” Kieran recommended. “I don’t want to collapse on you like some
prematurely-ejaculatory teenager,” she laughed.
Naomi
fiddled with the controls. She tested
them, holding the sensor in her palm.
“Not very strong,” she pronounced.
“We can increase it if you like, later.”
Kieran
smirked. “I think what feels minimal on
your hand might feel a lot more intense inside me,” she reminded her
lover. “Do you want to try it out?”
Naomi
nodded. “I think these little slots are
where the straps come from,” she touched a tiny recessed button and the straps
snaked out. “Lie back a second,” she
instructed her partner. She pressed the
device to Kieran’s mons, and the straps instantly affixed themselves and
adjusted for comfort. “That was a neat
trick,” Naomi’s engineer’s heart was aflutter.
“I think
I’d better insert the sensor myself, or we might not get much further than
this,” Kieran warned, taking the small, cylindrical lead and pressing in into
her opening. Naomi was hovering over
her, and her long hair brushed over the tip of the phallus as Kieran was
inserting the sensor. Kieran gasped
faintly. “Oh, yeah, it’s plenty strong
enough,” she said, eyes wide. “Just
your hair barely grazing over it made it surge,” she was awed. “I hope I can take it,” she said with mild
trepidation.
Naomi’s
eyes glittered evilly. “Let’s find
out,” she pushed Kieran’s shoulders down on the pillows, and moved over her,
straddling the device without preamble.
She took it into herself, easing down the length, wiggling to make it go
in easier.
Kieran
watched in rapt attention, a soft grunt emanating from her chest as Naomi
reached the base.
“How does
it feel?” Naomi asked her partner, whose eyes were glassy.
“It feels
wonderful,” she breathed. “God, no
wonder so many men can’t control themselves.
Are you sure you got the lowest setting?”
“Afraid
so. Is it too much?” she looked
concerned.
“I’ll try
to get used to it, but I can’t guarantee a lengthy first trial,” she said
faintly.
“Okay,”
Naomi leaned down to kiss her, and they started to move together instinctually,
without consciously doing so.
Kieran
rested her hands on Naomi’s thighs, feeling the muscles in her legs flexing as
she squatted repeatedly and eased back up in turn. “Is it okay for you?”
Naomi
peered down at her. “I think I’d rather
have you on top,” she decided.
“Okay,”
Kieran wrapped her arms around Naomi’s back.
“stretch your legs out on mine, and let’s try not to lose intromission,”
she directed her.
Naomi
howled with laughter. “You sound like
the Doctor giving a lecture,” she chortled.
Kieran
blushed. “Sorry. Let’s roll over and try to keep me from
falling out,” she said. “Better?”
Naomi
giggled. “Better. On three,” she was still laughing. “One, two, three,” she counted.
They
flipped over, but Kieran fell out anyway.
“Sorry. I’m a virgin,” she
apologized. She knelt between Naomi’s
legs, caressing her with soft fingers.
“Let me find you, so this doesn’t hurt,” she advised. She pressed the phallus to her opening,
then, balancing her weight on her forearms and her knees, eased into Naomi as
gently as she could. “Okay? I’m not hurting you?”
“On the
contrary,” Naomi smiled winningly up at her.
“You feel great.” She lifted her
legs and wrapped them around Kieran’s low back, changing the angle of
penetration and gasping as the right balance was struck. “Oh, yeah, that’s it,” she encouraged
her. “Good angle.”
Kieran
started to move inside of her, thrusting carefully at first, slowly, to make
sure she had the right sense of how long the stroke should be. “Still okay?” she asked Naomi, concerned.
Naomi
shuddered. “Okay is an understatement,”
she managed, though her breathing was becoming irregular. “It’s—God, Kieran, it feels so intense,” she
gasped in the taller woman’s ear.
Kieran was
spurred on by the sounds coming from her lover, and she stopped worrying about
whether she might crush her, more aware of how the motion felt inside herself,
increasingly aroused by the sensation of Naomi’s walls surrounding her and the
pulling of smooth muscles over the length of the shaft she wore. Kieran thrust more vigorously, trying to
remind herself not to be rough or greedy, but she couldn’t suppress a groan as
she moved, and without meaning it to, her tempo increased. Her brain seemed to disconnect from her
body, inundated with endorphins. She
was rocking her hips almost frantically, unable to slow herself down. Naomi was writhing beneath her, gasping and
coming and crying out to her, and she felt the sudden spasm of the orgasmic
platform around her, which sent her over the edge. She thrust pitifully, weakly as the climax hit her, wrung her
out, and left her spent and gasping.
The blood rushing through her ears had drown out all sound at the end,
and she was fairly certain she had shouted something, but she didn’t know what.
They lay
together, gasping for air, trying to focus their eyes, brains turned to
worthless mush. Kieran’s head jerked up
as she thought she felt herself drooling, but it was just her imagination. She extricated herself from Naomi’s opening,
rolling onto her back, and Naomi went with her, snuggling into her arms.
“Will
you—remove—the sensor?” Kieran asked, gasping.
“It’s—too much—afterward,” she explained.
Naomi
reached between her legs and eased the tiny lead from her channel, pressed the
retractor buttons, and watched as the straps disappeared. The phallus fell off, and Naomi picked it
up, setting in on the nightstand.
Naomi’s ears were ringing, as if she had been at a loud concert for
several hours.
“What’s
the verdict?” Kieran asked when her breathing had evened out again.
Naomi
traced trails over her belly, over the red impressions where the straps had
been. “I think I have to sleep now,”
she murmured. “It was very, very
powerful. I think we should keep the SED,”
she said softly.
Kieran
kissed her hair fondly. “Okay,
love. Sweet dreams,” she said quietly,
already dozing off.
________________
Kieran
awoke just before noon, confused because the bedroom was dark. Outside, black clouds rolled overhead, thunder
growling. She blinked rapidly, found
Naomi staring down at her, and gazed up at her wife. The Ktarian was stretched out beside her, head propped up on one
hand.
“Hi,” she
whispered to the strawberry blonde.
“Have you been awake long?”
Naomi
smiled. “God, you’re beautiful when you
sleep, Kieran,” she ignored the question.
“So peaceful and serene,” her eyes shone brightly with unshed tears.
“Oh, Na,”
Kieran reached for her, her voice coarse with sleep. She hugged her close, grateful for the warmth of her lover. “Are you okay, honey?”
Naomi
nodded. “Just very much in love with
you, and so glad to finally be settled in that love,” she explained. “Are you hungry?”
Kieran
sighed. “I could eat a feast. Last night really took a lot out of me,” she
admitted. “I’m not as young as I used
to be, I guess. All-nighters aren’t
effortless, anymore.”
Naomi
kissed her, lips parting hers softly, tongue insinuating itself into Kieran’s
mouth, gently exploring. “I’m envious
of everyone who’s ever had an all-nighter with you,” she said when they’d
parted. “I made breakfast. Peach pancakes, eggs, bacon, coffee. Are you interested?”
“You did
all that? And I slept through it?”
Kieran was chagrined.
“I think I
pretty well wiped you out, sweetie.
It’s my fault,” she grinned unapologetically. “I’ll probably do it again today, too,” she flirted.
Kieran
eased them both up against the headboard of the bed, and Naomi retrieved the
tray resting on the nightstand.
“Everything’s really hot, so be careful,” she said protectively.
They fed
each other from one plate, sharing bites and making appreciative sounds over
the food. “God, I’m starved,” Kieran
commented. “You’re going to make me
fat, though,” she teased.
Naomi
laughed. “Not if we burn it all off
like last night. What did you think of
the SED?”
Kieran
grinned. “It was almost as overwhelming
as my experience with Sholten. I
remember bits and pieces, but not the whole experience. It was hard to keep my mind on you, I was so
focused on myself. I’m not sure that’s
how I want to make love to you, in such a state of self-interest,” she said
thoughtfully.
“I think
it’s something that takes adjusting to,” Naomi agreed. “I imagine it would be like a guy having
intercourse for the very first time—I doubt they even remember they have a
partner there, when they’re inexperienced,” she noted.
“That’s
the point,” Kieran nodded. “I never
want to forget I have a partner. It
should never just be about my pleasure.”
“I didn’t
mind,” Naomi laughed. “I was just as
focused on my own feelings,” she admitted.
“I think if we try it a few times, we’ll find we’re more in control and
less singular in our focus, don’t you think?”
Kieran
shrugged. “Practice makes perfect with
most things.”
“Besides,
I want to try being the one to wear it,” Naomi waggled her eyebrows. “I have to
know what that feels like. You actually
shouted when you came,” she giggled.
“I thought
I did,” Kieran blushed. “But I don’t know what I said. Do I want to know?” she hid her eyes behind
her hand, peeking through her fingers.
Naomi
laughed, pulled her hand from her face and kissed her. “You said ‘I CAN’T HOLD BACK NAOMI’, and
then you just collapsed,” she said, grinning wildly. “It must have really blown your plasma manifold, because you were
asleep in seconds afterward,” she chuckled.
Kieran
sipped her coffee, trying to hide her embarrassment. “Okay. Well, I guess I
owe you a turn, then, since I was so insensitive.”
Naomi
kissed her cheek, still smiling. “Don’t
feel bad, honey. You really enjoyed it,
I’m sure, and I loved giving you that,” she assured her.
They
finished every bit of food Naomi had prepared, and decided to take showers and
walk up to Gretchen’s house, to see if the family needed help cleaning up after
the wedding. While Kieran was in the
shower, Naomi went downstairs to clean up the mess they had made of the
kitchen. She was piling dishes into the
recycler when Seven came to the door, knocking frantically.
Naomi
wiped her hands, tightened her belt on her robe and went to the door. “What’s wrong, Mom?”
Seven
stood there, practically jumping up and down.
“Dr. Pulaski has had a break through.
We’re all being recalled to Starfleet medical,” she said excitedly. “Apparently,” she squeezed through the
doorjamb, “that bacteria that wrecked our ship may be in your system, too. B’Elanna thinks that it probably infected
everyone in Engineering who worked on the infected systems. It’s not a cure, but it’s a first step to
finding out why you’re aging so quickly,” Seven reported. “Kathryn wants to leave within the
hour. Can you be ready?”
Kieran,
hearing the commotion downstairs, rushed through her shower and threw on her
robe. She padded down the steps,
catching the tail end of the conversation.
“We’ll be there,” she assured the former drone. “Naomi, go get showered,” she urged her
wife.
Naomi
stopped to hug them both before charging up the steps.
Kieran
wordlessly wrapped her arms around Seven, unable to speak, her hopes were so
strong. She clung to the towering Borg,
hanging on for dear life.
Seven
patted Kieran’s back, trying to calm her own anxiety. “This could be the break we’ve needed, Kieran,” she murmured,
cupping Kieran’s head in her hand. “But
if it’s not, I’ve been thinking,” she eased Kieran to a safe distance, holding
her at arm’s length, trying not to think about how appealing she looked,
freshly scrubbed and face aglow.
“Thinking
what, Mom?” Kieran teasingly called her.
Seven’s
eyes widened. “I forbid you to address
me as Mom, mother, Mommy, or any other derivation of the word,” she
scowled. “The last thing I feel toward
you is maternal, Kieran Thompson,” she chastised, hands planted on her hips.
“Okay,
your Borgness,” Kieran smirked. “But
it’s Kieran Wildman now,” she reminded her, grinning proudly. “What were you thinking?”
“As a very
last resort, I could assimilate Naomi,” she offered, “if she becomes so ill
that she is in danger of dying,” she explained. “But you know the dangers associated with that. And my nanoprobes might go overboard, as
well.”
Kieran
quirked an eyebrow. “I want to talk
about this, Seven, but I have to get dressed and packed. Come upstairs, please, and keep talking,”
she grabbed the Borg’s cybernetically enhanced hand and dragged Seven along
with her.
Not one
for modesty, Kieran dropped her robe on the bed and started to dig out
clothing, while Seven stood there gaping at Kieran’s naked body. “Now what did you mean by overboard, Seven?”
she asked, stepping into her underwear.
Seven had
to consciously focus her thoughts again.
“I—I meant—” she sputtered.
Kieran
looked up from her suitcase. “Am I
making you uncomfortable, your Borgness?” she saw the look of disorientation on
the blonde’s lovely face. “I’m sorry. I thought—well, you’ve seen me undressed
before, I didn’t think it would embarrass you.
You could turn away,” she said gently.
Seven
shook herself mentally. This simply had
to stop. “Overboard,” she
repeated. “There is a possibility that
if I have to assimilate Naomi, it will save her life, but my nanoprobes will
also go and repair any tissue they perceive as damaged.”
Kieran
slipped on her blue jeans and bra, looking for a shirt. She selected a pink cotton camp shirt with
pockets, hurriedly slipping her arms through the short sleeves. “And that’s bad somehow?” she asked,
grabbing her shoes and socks and flopping down on the bed.
“It could
potentially cause Naomi to regress to a much younger age. What I can’t be certain of is how old she
would exactly be, when it was said and done,” Seven explained.
Kieran
stopped, thinking about the implications.
“So she might live, but be a little girl again?” she asked, voice
hollow.
Seven
turned back around, nodding slowly.
“And, she might arrest as a little girl, too. I haven’t aged at all since I left the collective, and I can’t be
sure Naomi would resume the normal growth process.”
Kieran
shrugged. “Well then let’s hope it
never comes to that, because you know Naomi will never agree to risk being
stuck as a child,” she realized.
“My
thoughts, exactly, which is why I never broached the topic,” Seven admitted.
“Kathryn was all for it, of course.
Nothing would make her happier than if Naomi went back to being eleven,”
she scowled.
Kieran
stopped, looking at the blonde intently. “Things are still contentious between
you, because of us?” she asked faintly.
Seven
nodded slowly. “Every inch Kathryn has
given has come at tremendous effort from me.
We’ve done nothing but fight.
Thank Kahless you and Naomi are finally married, and Kathryn can’t even
threaten to interfere,” Seven said wearily.
“She didn’t want to sign the will, she didn’t want to cooperate with the
wedding, she was furious over the medical power of attorney you got for Naomi,
she threatened to file an appeal of the emancipation order. It has been endless.”
Kieran
wrapped her in warm, loving arms.
“Thank you, Seven,” she said hoarsely.
“I am so, so sorry for all of this.
I’ll find a way to make it up to you, if I can,” she promised, hugging
her tightly. “Naomi and I love you so
much, and we are so grateful for your support.”
Seven
closed her eyes, breathing the scent of the room, which was uniquely Kieran,
part Naomi, the scent of soap and shampoo coming from the shower, and the musk
of sex still clinging to the sheets. It
was a powerful impression for the Borg’s heightened senses to process. “I love you, too,” she said softly,
swallowing hard.
Kieran
kissed her forehead, moved by her sacrifice.
“If you want to come travel with us, you’re welcome to,” she
offered. “It may be our honeymoon, but
you could make it a brand new start for yourself, if you need to be free of
Kathryn,” she said meekly, not wanting to sway Seven either way.
Seven
smiled, eyes filling. “Thank you, but I
would be an intrusion, and Naomi would never forgive me for it. Things may calm down for both of us now that
the actual marriage is a fact,” she murmured.
“Would you
like me to ask Naomi?” Kieran held her shoulders gently, staring into ice blue
eyes. “If she knew how Kathryn has been
behaving—”
Seven shook
her head. “She would never forgive her,
and I can’t do that to Kathryn, no matter how much she deserves it. With Naomi’s illness, there might not be
time for them to mend fences, if they have a falling out.”
“Okay,”
Kieran agreed, though the pain in Seven’s expression made her want to throttle
Kathryn Janeway. “Just remember,
Seven. You deserve to be happy. Don’t let your every waking moment be a
sacrifice to Kathryn’s foolishness, and don’t be miserable. Life is short,” she nodded understanding
from experience, “and there is no time to waste feeling unloved or
unappreciated.”
The
white-blonde haired Borg nodded slowly.
“If I could find someone who would love me, as you love Naomi,
unconditionally and perfectly, I would have to go to her,” she admitted, lost
in Kieran’s eyes and breathless.
“If
Kathryn won’t love you that well, then you should find someone who will,
Seven,” Kieran assured her. “You’re
brilliant, and kind, and incredibly beautiful.
Who could resist that combination?”
“Are you
saying resistance is futile?” Seven laughed, trying to calm the pounding of her
heart.
“It is,”
Kieran smiled, her eyes crinkling. “I
have to finish packing. Think about it,
and if you want me to ask Naomi, I will.”
______________
The
transport hummed along the fields toward the transporter station in
Indianapolis, from where the women could beam back to Starfleet Command. Kieran and Naomi sat together, Naomi in
Kieran’s lap, resting her head on Kieran’s shoulder.
“I love
when you hold me like this,” she murmured.
“How are
you feeling?” Kieran kissed her hair.
“Tired. Anxious.
A little nauseated, too. I was
thinking I might have to take one of the hyposprays Dr. Pulaski gave me for
pain. I seem to ache all over,” she
admitted.
Kieran
gathered her body and eased her into the seat.
“I’ll get it for you. Stay put,” she offered, going to the baggage
corral in the back. She found the
travel case with the hyposprays, and selected one. She eased back up the aisle, sitting beside Naomi. “Lift your chin,” she instructed her,
pressing the device to her throat. The
medication deployed with a hiss, and Naomi’s face relaxed immediately. “Better?” Kieran asked tenderly.
“Much,”
Naomi smiled gratefully at her. “Would
you hold me again?”
“Always,”
Kieran promised, scooping her up again and settling her back into a muscular
lap. “Rest, honey. If you fall asleep, I’ll carry you.”
Naomi
yawned. “’Kay,” she agreed, already
drifting off from the drug.
Seven
watched the two women interacting, her heart aching. The love between them was palpable, and it touched her deeply to
see Kieran so attentive and patient and tender toward her daughter. She forced herself to look out the window,
unable to bear the look of agony on Kieran’s face.
They
arrived in Indianapolis in a matter of a few minutes, and made their way to the
transporter dais. “Seven, can you get
our bags?” Kieran asked, Naomi fast asleep in her arms.
“Of course
I will,” Seven agreed, bearing the load uncomplaining. Kieran stepped onto the dais with Naomi
firmly gathered against her, waiting for the command from Kathryn. Gretchen carried Geejay, who also had to be
seen by the medical staff.
They
materialized at the medical facility on campus, where Noah and B’Elanna were
waiting for them with Katie.
“Is Naomi
okay?” B’Elanna asked Seven, helping her shoulder the bags.
“Not
feeling well today. Kieran had to
medicate her for the pain,” Seven reported forlornly.
B’Elanna
nodded. “And how are you holding up?”
“Until you
have watched someone you love suffering, you cannot begin to comprehend the
pain I am in,” Seven admitted.
“You
forget, Borg,” B’Elanna reminded her.
“I watched you die. I know
exactly what you’re feeling,” she said sadly.
Seven
nodded. “I had forgotten,” she confessed. “My thoughts are fragmented.”
“Doctor
Pulaski thinks she has devised a method of scanning for the bacteria,” B’Elanna
explained as they joined the group and walked to the turbo lift. “Wesley and the Traveler opened a comm
conduit back to Qian, and we’ve been working with their medical team to
understand the process of detecting this bacteria. It’s beyond our technology, but they’ve helped us to get up to
speed. I tested positive for it,
myself. The doctors on Qian are sure I
got it from the bioneural components on the ship, before we ever knew they were
infected or that we needed to take precautions.”
Kathryn
grimaced. “And are you experiencing any
symptoms like Naomi’s?”
“Not
advanced aging,” B’Elanna replied, “but my neural chemistry was altered. The changes are subtle, but they are
there. Pulaski thinks it may explain
some of my behavioral problems since we were at Restid Three. Like a certain incident with Tom Paris,” she
admitted to the group. “Tom and Harry have also tested positive, which would
explain Harry’s ongoing bouts of depression, and Tom’s inability to shake his
infatuation with me.”
“They got
the bacteria in the caves?” Kieran wanted to know.
“It
appears so. Neither of them could
recall working on the components of the ship that were infected, so it appears
that is another means of contracting it,” B’Elanna explained.
“Has
anyone come up negative?” Kathryn wanted to know.
“There
were lots of negative tests,” Noah replied.
“Unfortunately, I came up positive, and I never worked in
Engineering. Kate isn’t sure if that
means I got it through sexual transmission, or from B'Elanna’s blood.”
“Naomi
probably got a double exposure, because she was in the caves and she worked on
the components that were infected—the cryogenic tubing, the gel packs, the
neural interfaces,” B'Elanna noted.
“Does Kate
think this ability to detect it will give her any leads in treating it?”
Kathryn demanded. “It sounds like the
situation is in the preliminary stages of research, to me.”
“It is,
but Pulaski wants to see how it has altered Naomi’s brain chemistry. It seems to be a fairly case-specific bug,
in that it effects people differently, or at least, humans and Klingons and
Ktarians are effected differently. No
one said there would be immediate progress, but we have to start somewhere,”
B’Elanna defended the efforts they had already made.
The turbo
lift halted on the seventh floor of the medical complex, and opened onto a
hallway filled with laboratories and surgical rooms.
“It’s this
way,” B’Elanna led them along the corridor.
_______________
Kate
Pulaski looked over the scans, lips pressed tightly. “Naomi’s got it all right, and the worst case I’ve seen yet. It’s as if she can’t build any immunity to
it, at all,” she explained to Kieran, Kathryn and Seven. “B’Elanna at least had some antibodies,
though the bacteria isn’t dying in her system.
Tom had the most resistance of those I’ve tested. I’m taking some of his blood for further
study, to see if I can genetically alter his antibodies to treat everyone
else. B’Elanna has volunteered to be
the test subject for the first trials,” she muttered, adjusting the instruments
again. “It may not cure Naomi, but if
we can get a vaccination from Tom’s antibodies, it might slow it down substantially. The bacteria is definitely causing her aging
syndrome, though,” she pointed to the medical readouts. “Look at that,” she indicated the DNA in
Naomi’s body. “These sequences control
aging, and the bacteria is directly attacking them,” she murmured.
“Are you
any more optimistic than you were when you first saw Naomi?” Kieran asked,
holding her breath. She knew Pulaski
would never lie or sugar coat anything.
“I’m
encouraged. I have the leads to at
least get an idea of what we’re up against,” she stated unequivocally. “How has she been feeling?”
Kieran lay
a hand on Pulaski’s shoulder. “Fine
until today. I’m afraid that may be my
fault, Kate. Maybe you’d better be
blunt with me about what her body is able to take, and what it’s not.”
Kathryn’s
eyes fairly threw daggers at Kieran.
“You wore her out, last night, didn’t you?” she accused. “And today she had to be sedated.”
Seven
bristled at Kathryn’s recriminating tone.
“Kathryn,” her voice was low and urgent, “it was their wedding night.”
Kieran
hung her head. “It’s okay, Seven. I probably should have been more insistent
that we sleep. But I promised Naomi we
would spend her time however she wants, and that was what she wanted.”
Pulaski
stood from her lab stool, turning on them all.
“I don’t think sex is going to hurt her, not one bit. She’ll learn her limitations, like anyone
with a chronic illness, and she’ll need to assert her boundaries. You can’t expect Kieran to lock Naomi away
in a glass case until she dies,” Pulaski directed her remarks to Kathryn.
“Besides,” Pulaski checked the readouts again, “physiologically speaking, Naomi
has aged so much, she is reaching her sexual peak. So it’s not surprising that she has that much drive,” she explained.
Kathryn
was unmoved, glaring at Kieran.
“And it
was their wedding night,” Seven reiterated to her spouse.
Kathryn’s
brow furrowed. “You always take
Kieran’s side, Seven,” she spat angrily.
“But then, if Naomi weren’t with her, you’d be next in line,” she stated
hotly, taking a menacing step toward her wife.
Seven
reflexively stepped back from Kathryn.
The inculpation hung in the air like a rotten stench, and Seven was so
humiliated, she couldn’t think of a retort.
Pulaski’s
eyebrows nearly climbed off her forehead.
“I think this conversation has gotten entirely out of hand,” she
snarled. “Captain, I need to scan
you. Everyone who was on Voyager is
undergoing these tests, and you’re next.”
She snatched the Captain’s arm and dragged her into the test bay,
sealing the doors with a security code.
Kieran
slipped her arms around Seven’s waist.
“I think you’d better let me have that talk with Naomi as soon as she’s
conscious again,” she recommended, leaning her forehead against Seven’s. “Kathryn’s starting to scare me and piss me
off beyond words,” she informed the Borg.
“I’ve been in an abusive relationship, Seven, and Kathryn is showing all
the signs. So help me God, if she lays
a finger on you, I’ll kill her,” she hissed.
“Why didn’t you tell me how bad it’s become?” Kieran demanded, searching
Seven’s eyes. “Has she ever hit you?”
Seven
couldn’t meet Kieran’s frank gaze.
“Has she?”
Kieran gentled her tone.
“A few
times,” Seven admitted, her face burning with shame. “But I am Borg, and my nanoprobes mend the damage easily.”
Kieran
felt sick inside. “And you’ve endured
this because you needed—what? Leverage
with Kathryn, to help Naomi and I?”
Seven
nodded, eyes averted.
“My God,
Seven,” Kieran breathed. “You’re coming
to stay with Naomi and I, that’s the end of it. Or I can kill her. Your
choice,” Kieran lifted her chin with two fingers.
“You don’t
understand, Kieran,” Seven began, her words halting.
“Don’t you
dare try to defend her to me,” Kieran was incensed. “I understand perfectly.
But humor me. Tell me why you
think you deserve to be slapped around, Seven.
Isn’t that what you were about to tell me?” she beseeched.
“She hits
me because—” Seven hesitated. “Because
I’ve been unfaithful to her.”
Kieran
shook her head. “That’s not a good
enough reason. Your body is your
own. You can sleep with anyone you
please, and that doesn’t give Kathryn the right to hit you. She can divorce you for it, but she has no
right to assault you.” She thought
seriously about it for a moment. “Is it
B’Elanna?”
Seven
shook her head. “Not B’Elanna. Much worse,” she admitted.
“You can
tell me, if you want to Seven, but you also have the right to your
privacy. But if there’s someone else
you want to be with, why don’t you leave Kathryn?”
Seven
swallowed hard. “Because she is married
to someone else,” she said pointedly.
Realization
dawned on Kieran in that instant, and it made her head swim. “She was telling the truth? That if I weren’t with Naomi you’d be next
in line—for me?” Kieran asked, truly flabbergasted.
“I never intended
for you to find out,” Seven bowed her head.
“I can’t tell you how ashamed I am,” she added, her voice thick with
pain.
Kieran
closed her eyes. God, how can this
be happening? Has the whole world gone
insane? Say something, Kieran, for
Christ’s sake, she’s hurting. You have
to say something to make her not hate herself.
Kieran kissed the crown of Seven’s head. “You know I love you with all my heart, Annika,” she assured
her. “You are my friend, and you have
been one of my staunchest allies. When
this feeling passes, I’ll still be your friend, and we will always be family to
each other. I’ll never tell a soul, and
if Kathryn asks me, I’ll lie for you.
But you cannot let her brutalize you because you love someone that’s not
her.”
“But I have
been untrue,” Seven argued.
“Loving
someone doesn’t make you untrue,” Kieran argued. “You’ve never acted on any of those feelings, and you’ve never
even spoken of them.”
Seven
finally looked at her, throat constricting painfully. “And if I would have told you?
Before you were with Naomi? Then
what, Kieran? What would you have
done?”
“You know
the answer to that, already, Seven, because you know me. Even if I had been hopelessly in love with
you, I still wouldn’t have done anything about it, because of Kathryn. And you wouldn’t have ever said anything,
either, because of B’Elanna.”
“I keep
thinking, eventually, she will stop being angry, and she will stop trying to
hurt me,” Seven sounded marginally hopeful.
“It
doesn’t work that way, I’m afraid. You
have to break the cycle, and that means you break the relationship. Let me help you. Let Naomi and I help you.
Please,” Kieran begged her, “I can’t bear to think of anyone hurting
you, Seven.”
Pulaski
came into the lab again. “I had Naomi
moved to a biobed where she can sleep until everyone’s done testing. Kathryn’s scanned. I have to look at these readings, if you’ll step aside,” she
requested, sliding onto her stool.
“Good lord, she’s got it worse than Naomi,” Pulaski breathed. “Only—damn, this is odd,” Pulaski checked
the readings twice. “She has two
distinct strains of it. And very few
antibodies. And not a lick of antibodies
for the second strain. It’s no wonder
she is on the verge of rage—look at her dopamine and acetylcholine levels,” she
muttered.
Seven tore
herself from Kieran, peering over Kate’s shoulder. “Kathryn is ill?”
“Very,”
Pulaski agreed. “I think I’d better use
her as the trial subject, since she’s so bad, if she’ll agree. This damned thing,” she complained. “This bacteria seems to get into the
synapses and bring out the most buried emotions the carrier has. It alters the brain chemistry to accentuate
those emotions. Naomi is flooded with
endorphins, but she is aging. Kathryn
is flooded with dopamine, and she is hostile.
Harry’s serotonin reuptake is helter-skelter, and he is depressed. I don’t understand the mechanism one bit,”
she smacked her hand on the table.
“Kate,”
Kieran said softly. “You’d better scan
Seven next. I think you’ll find she’s
infected, as well.”
Seven
looked at her questioningly.
“It might
explain a lot, Seven,” Kieran gave her a meaningful look. She hugged her then, holding her
briefly. “It’s going to be okay, your
Borgness. No matter what, we will get
through this together. I promise
you. Hey,” Kieran made Seven meet her
eyes. “Have I ever lied to you?”
“Never,”
Seven admitted.
“And I
never will. You know my darkest
secrets. You can trust me to get us all
through this,” she vowed.
____________________
It was
established that Seven was indeed infected, and that she had both strains of
the bacteria that Kathryn had. Kieran
was also infected. Both Seven and
Kieran had come into contact with the bacteria through the infected ship
components, they suspected, though Kieran more indirectly than anyone
else. She had recycled the clothing
B’Elanna wore that had been coated in bioneural gel, and remembered getting it
all over her hands. One by one, Kate
Pulaski traced the epidemiology of the bacteria, and every infectant was identified. What remained was to devise a treatment.
Kieran lay
awake in her room at the Intergalactic Suites, fretting over it all. Naomi was no closer to a cure, but now
Kieran suspected her own feelings for Naomi were unearthed by the bacteria, all
those months ago, and Kieran’s moral defenses were equally eroded by the
pheromones Naomi had started to put out on Qian. Did that make her love any less genuine? If the bacteria was eradicated, would she
stop loving Naomi? And what if Naomi’s
feelings for Kieran were equally dependent upon the presence of the bacteria?
B’Elanna
had done all those things with Tom, Tristan, Mariah, and Rachel, because she
was sick with the bacterial infection.
And it had destroyed her marriage to Kieran. Seven had fallen in love with Kieran for the same reason, and now
her marriage was in shambles with Kathryn.
And Kathryn had done unspeakable things, to Seven, to Naomi, to
Kieran--all because of this nasty bug.
Even Tom wasn’t to blame for trying to seduce B’Elanna.
Kieran’s
head ached. None of it made any sense,
and yet it all made sense. It was as if
they were in a hallucination of their own, with no ability to discern what was
real and what was a dream. Their own
brain chemistry was working to deceive them repeatedly, to make them behave in
aberrant ways. What would be left, when
the dust settled, she wondered?
“Kieran,”
Naomi said groggily, “why aren’t you sleeping?” she asked softly, finally
emerging from the sedatives she had taken for her pain.
She wanted
desperately to tell Naomi everything, to explain why she was so distraught, but
she couldn’t break confidence with Seven, and Naomi would never forgive Kathryn
for hitting the Borg. So she had to
keep her silence.
“How are
you feeling, my love?” Kieran moved to take her into the circle of strong
arms. “Can I get you anything?”
“I’m much
better, thanks. I guess I can’t stay up
for hours on end and make love,” she snuggled into Kieran. “We’ll have to scale it back to five or six
hours at a stretch, followed by a solid eight hours of sleep,” she joked.
Kieran
kissed her hair fondly. “I love you,
honey. I’m sorry I let us go on a
marathon,” she murmured.
“I wanted
it,” Naomi insisted. “But like Kate
said, I have to learn my limitations.
Now I know them better.” She yawned.
“I slept through the examinations—what did Kate find out?”
“We’re all
infected with Restidian bacteria, the one that attacked the bioneural
components of the ship. It triggered
your aging, and God knows what else.
Now that Kate can find it, she might be able to devise a
treatment.” She hoped Naomi wouldn’t
start speculating too much about the repercussions for everyone. “You slept through lunch and dinner. Aren’t you starving?” Kieran wanted to
encourage her to eat.
“Famished,”
Naomi agreed. “I’m dying for some peach
pancakes,” she laughed. “How long 'til
breakfast?”
Kieran
glanced at the chronometer. “Six hours.
It’s just after midnight,” she chuckled.
“The restaurant will be closing in a few minutes—would you like me to
see what I can come up with?”
Naomi
nodded. “I’m not picky,” she
advised. “But you’ll come right back?”
“I will,”
Kieran kissed her tenderly. “You rest,
my beloved.”
___________________
The night
cook was about to start cleaning the grill when Kieran ran into the
restaurant. She asked to speak to him,
and the maitre de reluctantly agreed.
“Listen,”
she said to the exhausted looking man.
“I have a very sick wife, and I would appreciate it if you could make
something especially for her. She’s having
a hard time keeping food down, so she needs some peach pancakes. I’ll pay you whatever you want,” she
offered.
He studied
her for a minute. “Tell you what. I’ll make the pancakes, and anything else
you want, if you agree to come back here tomorrow night and autograph a
basketball for my daughter, KT,” he grinned.
“She was glued to ESPN all weekend, watching highlights of you in the
exhibition game. She plays junior high
ball,” he added proudly.
Kieran
smiled warmly. “I’ll do better than
that,” she agreed. “Bring her with you,
and I’ll have dinner with her—plus sign the basketball. And I’ll buy dinner.”
His eyes
lit up. “That’s generous of you. You don’t have to—the ball is enough.”
“You don’t
understand, Mr.--?”
“John. John Kane,” he extended his hand.
“John. I know you’re about to get off work, and I
truly appreciate that you’re willing to help my wife. I’d be happy to repay the kindness.”
He
smiled. “My kid will think I’m the best
dad ever,” he chuckled. “And I’m sorry
about your wife. I heard she’s pretty
bad. I’m widowed, myself—Dominion War,”
he lay a gnarled hand on her forearm.
“Anything besides peach pancakes?”
Kieran
grinned. “Lots of whipped cream and
powdered sugar. And a big glass of
chocolate milk, John. Thank you so
much,” she shook his hand.
Maybe,
Kieran realized, being a celebrity wasn’t so terrible, if it got the things
Naomi wanted.
_________________
“I can’t
believe you found peach pancakes,” Naomi sat up in bed, mouth already
watering. “Who did you have to sleep
with?”
Kieran
winked. “The chef at the hotel
restaurant. Actually, I agreed to have
dinner with his daughter.”
“You
agreed to go out on a date for some lousy pancakes?” Naomi pretended outrage.
“She’s in
junior high,” Kieran laughed.
Naomi
fixed her with a wicked grin. “So she’s
my age,” she quipped.
“Oh, low
blow,” Kieran feigned a punch to the stomach.
She set the tray over Naomi’s legs.
“I hope you’re hungry, ‘cause there’s enough cakes here to feed an
army.”
Naomi
stretched to kiss her before Kieran settled in beside her. “Chocolate milk, too. You’re the best. So what did this feast set you back?”
“Dinner
and an autographed basketball,” she replied, stealing a fingertip of whipped
cream. “Actually, he was happy to take
the ball, but I threw in the dinner to be nice,” she admitted. “It’s for a kid. Hey, Katie and Geejay might have heroes, someday. Maybe I can bank some good karma for them,”
she decided.
Naomi
stuffed herself happily, feeding an occasional bite to her wife. “These are better than my own,” she said
through a fluffy mouthful. “Want some
more?”
Kieran
shook her head. “I had dinner, and that
much sugar this late will have me jittery all night.”
There was
a knock at the door, and Kieran excused herself. She looked through the peephole and saw Seven standing outside,
clearly distraught.
“Na? I
need to talk to Seven a minute. I’ll be
right back,” she advised. “Enjoy your
pancakes.”
“Okay,
honey. She can come in, if she wants,”
Naomi offered.
“I think I
need to help her with something. I’ll try not to be too long.”
Kieran
stepped into the hall, taking Seven’s face in her hands. “She did this to you?” she demanded,
examining the diffuse bruising around Seven’s jaw and the hairline of blood
seeping from her lips. “Damn, Seven, I
tried to tell you to come with Naomi and I.
Why wouldn’t you listen?”
“Please,
don’t say anything to Naomi. I think
Kathryn needs to be in the hospital, Kieran.
She’s ill. I can’t commit her
without a Counselor’s corroborating diagnosis.”
“Did you
call security?” Kieran asked softly.
“No. I wanted to protect Kathryn’s career. An incident like this could get her demoted
back down to a Lieutenant, or even summarily dismissed.”
“Why did
Pulaski let her go today?”
Seven
shrugged. “Kathryn refused to stay, and
she wasn’t being violent at the time.
Kate couldn’t force her.”
“I’ll see
if I can get her to go voluntarily. Let
me get a couple of things, and I’ll be right with you,” she stepped back
inside. “Na, I need to go help Seven
out with something, and I might be gone awhile. Don’t wait up,” she said softly as she rummaged through her
travel bags.
“What’s
wrong?” Naomi was instantly concerned.
“She just
needs me to talk to Kathryn, honey.
I’ll try to hurry back,” she kissed her wife good-bye.
__________________
“Kathryn,”
Kieran crossed her arms resolutely, “I want you to listen to me. You are not yourself. You are not behaving normally,” she tried to
reason with the agitated woman pacing before her. “You have been hitting your wife.”
Kathryn
glared at her. “She’s been after you
forever, you know,” Kathryn accused.
“No, she
hasn’t. In fact, she’s never made a
single overture, said a word, or intimated that she has any feelings for me
whatsoever. This is your imagination,
Kathryn. Do you understand what I’m
saying to you? If you don’t come to the
hospital with me right now, I’m going to call security and have you arrested. You will be charged with domestic
battery. You will lose your
command. You will lose your wife. And your children will find out you’ve been
abusing their mother. You will be
ruined. So here are your choices. Trust me and come with me willingly, or be
stupid, and make this as ugly as your behavior.”
“Fuck you,
Counselor,” Kathryn hissed, still pacing.
“You want her, don’t you? It’s
not Naomi, it’s been Seven, all along.
I saw how you looked at her the night of the banquet. All your flattery and smooth
flirtation. You thought I didn’t
notice, how you snuck away to dance with her alone, how you kept her laughing
and flirting right back. I know you two
have been together. When she was
staying in the cargo bay. That’s
when. I’m going to tell Naomi.”
“You’ll
only hurt yourself, Kathryn. Naomi is
so skeptical about you right now, it wouldn’t take much to have her cut you out
of her life, and finding out you hit Seven would be the last straw. Don’t push this, Kat. Don’t force my hand. Let me help you. I can keep this out of the security logs, I can cover your ass,
but not if you don’t come with me right now.”
“You’re
going to lock me away, like that other Janeway. The one you killed,” she glared pure hatred at Kieran.
“If you
voluntarily commit yourself, no one locks you up, Kathryn. Now what’s it going to be?”
Kathryn
paced faster, then with a primal scream she went for Kieran’s throat. Kieran used Kathryn’s momentum to throw her
down on the bed, and she held her there, fumbling in her pocket for one of
Naomi’s hyposprays. She pressed it to
Kathryn’s neck, restraining her while she struggled against the numbing
drug. When Kathryn had finally
succumbed to the medication, drowsy but conscious, Kieran took her knee out of
the smaller woman’s spine.
“Stubborn
ass,” she said, panting. “Nothing is
ever simple, is it?” She seriously
considered smacking the daylights out the limp woman, but curbed her
anger. “If you ever touch Seven again,
you miserable tyrant, you will never see the light of day,” she said in
Kathryn’s ear. “And I will personally
kill you with less mercy than I killed that other Janeway you’re so fond of
reminding me about.”
She
grabbed the back of Kathryn’s uniform, hauling her to her feet. She dragged her into the hallway where Seven
was waiting. “Help me get her to the
hotel transporter,” Kieran grunted under her weight. “I don’t want to be conspicuous carrying her. This way, she’ll just look drunk.”
“Thank
you, Kieran,” Seven said sincerely. “I
hope that the psychiatric ward calms her down.”
“Me too,”
Kieran agreed.
_________________
Kathryn
was admitted to the psychiatric ward, into a private room, with all the
protocols in place to protect her reputation.
Kieran summoned Kate Pulaski, who made sure that the records reflected
that Kathryn’s diagnosis was uncontrollable rage caused by an alien pathogen.
Seven and
Kieran walked back to the hotel in silence, until Kieran noticed Seven was
walking peculiarly.
“Your
Borgness,” she took her hand, “are you in pain? Your gait is strange,” she noted.
Seven
nodded. “I am damaged.”
“Well why
didn’t you let Pulaski treat you, Seven?” Kieran wailed, squeezing her hand.
“It is too
personal,” she hung her head. “I did
not want her to see what Kathryn did to me.”
Kieran
thought about it. “I know where I can
borrow a dermal regenerator. Will you
let me treat you?”
“You would
do that for me?” Seven asked softly.
Kieran
stopped on the sidewalk, drawing the tall blonde into her arms. “Do you have any idea how much it hurts me
to see you suffering, Annika?”
Seven
rested her face on Kieran’s shoulder. “No.”
“It’s
tearing me up,” Kieran choked on the words.
“I know Kathryn is sick and she can’t help herself, but to do these
things to you, of all people,” she clung to the Borg.
“I believe
I am bleeding,” Seven advised. “I think
we had better hurry.”
Kieran
nodded and they resumed their walk.
“Your nanoprobes aren’t repairing the damage?”
“They
will, but I imagine, with the bacteria to fight, they are largely preoccupied,”
she explained.
Kieran
checked the hotel directory. “How am I
going to explain to Naomi that I’ve been gone over two hours?” she muttered.
“Treat me
in my room, and then we will tell her together that Kathryn has been
hospitalized. We do not need to tell
her the details, do we?” Seven pleaded.
“We’ll be
discreet,” Kieran agreed. “Okay, here
it is,” she found the entry. “You go to
your room and I’ll be right there.”
_______________
Noah
Lessing rubbed his eyes sleepily. “KT,”
he yawned in her face, “what the hell are you doing here? It’s nearly 3 am,” he stepped into the hall,
wearing only his pajama bottoms.
“I need to
borrow your dermal regenerator, Noah.
Please,” she said urgently. “And
don’t ask why.”
He
nodded. “You got it. Be right back,” he went into the bathroom
and found the device. “Listen,” he
handed her the small wand. “If you need
anything at all, you tell me, okay?” he kissed her forehead.
“Thanks,
bud. I will,” she agreed. She smiled at the ritual wound at the base
of his throat. “Hey, NoGame, that’s
gonna leave a great scar,” she grinned at him.
“I guess you got yourself claimed, but good,” she teased him.
He
nodded. “I owe you one, KT,” he
agreed. “Everything you told me to do
was dead-on. And it looks like I’ll be
repaying that debt I owe you for fixing my wounds, back on Voyager,” he waggled
his eyebrows.
Kieran
thought hard about it, and remembered she had told him he had to produce a
sibling for Katie. “Are you kidding
me? B'Elanna’s pregnant?”
Noah shook
his head. “Not yet. But we’re letting nature take its course,”
he said proudly.
“Which
means she’ll be pregnant by this time next week, you stud,” Kieran hugged
him. “I’m so pleased for you, bud. Give Lanna my love, will you?”
“I will,”
he assured her, hugging her back.
She
studied his happy expression, hands resting on his shoulders. “Thanks again, bud. I’ll bring this back in the morning.”
“No
hurry,” he yawned. “I love you, KT,” he
waved at her.
“You, too,
NoGame,” she nodded, turning to go.
She took
the turbo lift to Seven’s floor, and found her in her room, in her bathrobe. “I can treat most of the injuries myself,”
she held out her hand for the regenerator.
“Are there
a lot?” Kieran wanted to know.
Seven
shrugged, letting her robe fall open.
She was scratched, bruised, abraded, and cut in various places, over her
breasts, her arms, her thighs, her calves.
Kieran fought the impulse to vomit, looking at the abuse.
“Lie down,
Seven, and let me take care of you,” Kieran gently helped her stretch out on
the bed. She made a thorough inspection
of every inch of the Borg’s implant scarred body, healing the wounds with the
least amount of pain she could inflict.
“Okay. Let me see your back
side.”
Seven
pleaded with her eyes. “That is where I
am most injured,” she said apologetically, turning onto her stomach.
The abdominal
implant’s silver bands stretched around her back, into her buttocks,
demarcating flesh from metal. Kieran
could see that Kathryn had apparently tried to remove the implant, from the
looks of the claw marks around the metal ribbons. But worse, Seven’s anal tissue had been torn, and was gouged and
bleeding. As she treated the injuries,
Kieran noted that the bed sheets were bloody, and she surmised that Kathryn had
sexually assaulted Seven. When the
gashes were closed and Seven was more comfortable, Kieran wrapped the hotel’s
robe around her, holding her as they sat on the bed. “She raped you?” she asked, her words muffled in Seven’s
shoulder.
“Not
really,” Seven explained. “I thought,
if I could make love with her, she might open up to me, calm down. I didn’t expect the encounter to turn
violent. I should not have initiated
it. Usually, sex is a sedative for her,
it soothes and comforts her.
Apparently, now it makes her angry.”
Kieran
cried into Seven’s bathrobe, shoulders shaking uncontrollably. “Christ, Seven, why didn’t you listen to me
and come with Naomi and I? Why wouldn’t
you let me protect you?”
Seven
rocked her like a child. “Don’t cry,”
she whispered. “It’s over now,” she
promised.
Kieran
couldn’t stop herself, for thinking about those horrible injuries.
Seven
rubbed her shoulders, working the knots from them. “It was like that with P’Arth?” she said softly.
“Yes,”
Kieran replied, struggling for control.
“For two years. I was so young,
and I thought I loved her,” she explained miserably. “But I can’t stand knowing Kathryn hurt you, Seven. You are so good and kind and so beautiful,
and she has no appreciation of that,” she bawled. “Please don’t go back to her.
Promise me, if there’s any bit of rage left in her, you will leave her.”
Seven
nodded slowly. “If Kate can’t cure her,
I will leave her. I will go with you
and Naomi, and I’ll take Geejay. Thank
God, Gretchen has Geejay. I think
Gretchen has figured out Kathryn is unstable, and that’s why she insisted on
babysitting her tonight.”
Kieran
composed herself slowly, getting her fragile emotions under a tight rein. “I have to go back to Naomi. I don’t want to tell her anything you don’t
want her to know. Will you come and
explain this to her?”
“Okay,”
Seven agreed. “Let me get dressed
again.”
____________________
Kieran
dragged into her room wearily, collapsing into a chair.
“Where in
God’s name have you been?” Naomi asked, alarmed. She was sitting up in bed, reading, waiting for Kieran to come
home.
Seven of
Nine followed Kieran into the room, and sat down on Naomi’s bed.
“What’s
happened, Seven?” Naomi demanded, seeing the look of total despair on both
women’s faces.
“Kathryn
is ill,” Seven explained gently. “This
bacteria appears to somehow ferret out the most hidden characteristics of a
personality, and to make them surface.
It’s become much worse since we arrived in the Alpha Quadrant, and
Kathryn is in the hospital.”
Naomi’s
face fell. “Is she aging, too? Is Doctor Pulaski treating her?” she asked,
panicked.
Seven
shook her head. “She is not in the
medical ward. She is in the psychiatric
unit. She has become violently angry.”
Naomi
understood instantly. “You didn’t hit
your head on the window, Saturday, did you?
You lied to me. Kathryn did that to you, didn’t she?”
Seven
nodded, eyes averted.
“Oh, Mom,”
Naomi grabbed her and hugged her tightly.
“I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
“I am
fine, just very tired and frightened,” she said honestly.
“I want
you to stay with us, tonight, where I can know you’re safe,” Naomi instructed,
throwing back the covers. “This bed is
plenty big enough for all three of us.
Kieran,” she said softly, “your sweatshirt is in your duffel bag, and
your extra is in my suitcase. Please,
give Seven one of them, and let’s all get to bed.”
Kieran
agreed, stripping down immediately. She
tossed the pale orange shirt to Seven.
“Come on, Seven, it’s okay,” she assured her. “You’re safe now.”
Naomi
hugged Seven to her, the two women clinging to one another, legs beneath the
thick covers. “Mom, how long has this
been going on?” she asked softly.
Seven
sighed. “The first time she hit me was
when Voyager was at Qian. I made the
mistake of basically saying ‘I told you so’, regarding your and Kieran’s
decision to take asylum. Unfortunately,
I failed to hide how amused I was that you had sued us, and it incensed her.”
Naomi
thought back to that time. “When I
contacted you, you had a wound above your optical implant. You told me you had an accident trying to
calibrate your implant. Did K-Mom do
that to you?”
“Yes,”
Seven confirmed. “However, she hurt
herself worse than me. She cut her hand
quite badly on the leading edge of the implant,” Seven reported. “I suspect that is how she got the second
bacterial strain—from my blood. Doctor
Pulaski will most likely determine that I have two strains because my
nanoprobes somehow altered the bacteria, trying to kill it, and Kathryn got it
from me.”
Kieran bit
her lip. “Then this behavior has been
going on for months,” she stated.
“Damn, Seven, if you had told me, I would never have tried to convince
you to give her another chance. I’d
have told you to run,” she was distressed.
“You let me give you the worst advice I’ve ever given anyone,” she
scolded herself more than Seven.
The former
Borg drone lifted her head, meeting Kieran’s eyes. “I apologize, Counselor.
I know I was dishonest, but I—”
Kieran
touched her cheek. “But what?”
“I was too
ashamed. And with your history, I was
afraid it would bring up bad memories for you, if I told you,” she admitted.
“I could
have helped you, Annika,” she said miserably.
“If only you had let me.”
“Please,
do not punish yourself with this, Kieran.
It’s over, now. I am no worse
for the wear, and it really isn’t Kathryn’s fault. This bacteria has impacted everyone’s life. We should get some sleep. Naomi looks like she is about to fall over,”
she pointed out.
“Okay,”
Kieran agreed, wanting to protect her wife more than anything. She scooted beneath the covers, Seven between
her and Naomi.
The Borg
slept, finally, cuddled between the two women, flanked on either side and
warmly held. It was the best sleep
she’d had in months.
______________
Kate
Pulaski released everyone from her immediate care, except Kathryn Janeway, and
advised them that she could potentially recall them for treatment, depending on
the clinical trials with Tom Paris’ altered antibodies. She had enough data to begin serious
inquiry, and she set about her Petri dish preliminaries, using a full team of
interns and researchers to help her get to the bottom of the dilemma.
Kieran,
Naomi, and Seven packed and headed for Florida as soon as Kieran had fulfilled
her obligation to have dinner with John Kane’s daughter. Gretchen Janeway knew that Seven was in no
emotional condition to care for Geejay, and she was glad to keep the toddler at
the farmhouse, where she knew the child would be safe. Gretchen had no illusions about the
brutality her daughter-in-law had been through at the hands of the irate Captain,
and she grieved for the damage the relationship had sustained, but hoped for a
cure for Kathryn.
Gerry and
Violet Thompson met the three women at the transporter station in Fort Myers,
all smiles and hugs for their daughter and her family, with a careful
cognizance of the subjects that must not be discussed and the need for the
women to have some fun and relax after all the strain of the past weeks.
Gerry
handed Seven of Nine a gaily decorated basket of fruit wrapped in festive red
plasticene. He kissed her cheek. “Seven, we are so pleased you could join
us,” he enthused, releasing the basket.
“These are grown locally,” he explained, pointing out the different
items. “Grapefruit, oranges, limes,
lemons, bananas, and some peaches from our Northern neighbors in Georgia,” he
smiled at the towering Borg. “You can
buy them in any store in the country, but they won’t taste anywhere near as
good as these.”
“Naomi,”
he hugged his daughter-in-law, “you look wonderful. Married life must suit you, sweetie,” he kissed her cheek,
too. “Are you keeping my daughter in
line? She requires a firm hand,” he
joked, tousling Kieran’s blonde streaked hair.
“I’m
making her toe the line,” Naomi agreed, giggling.
Violet hugged Kieran, and the other women in turn. “We thought we’d take the van-trans over the Everglades, to show
you some of the wildlife, and then go to our home for lunch. Afterward, we’ll show you the manatee
preserve and you can go for a swim with the girls,” she smiled brightly. “It’s so rare we get visitors that aren’t
scientists or volunteers, it’s going to be fun to show you around,” she took
Naomi’s bag. “Now honey,” she patted
the Ktarian’s shoulder, “don’t you overtax yourself on this trip. Let us take care of you,” she admonished,
seeing that Naomi was all set to drag her own luggage.
“Who are
the girls that we are swimming with?” Seven asked, thinking Violet was being
literal.
“The
manatees, of course,” she grinned.
“Bessie is positively going to flip when she sees Kieran,” she linked
her arm through the her daughter’s.
“Your dad and I are convinced she’s only lived this long so she could
see you again,” Violet opined.
“You
mentioned she’s really old,” Naomi was curious. “How old is really old?”
Kieran
smiled warmly, kissing Naomi’s cheek.
“Most manatees live to be about 60, but Bessie is easily 85. She’s a modern wonder,” Kieran
declared. “Let me have your overnight,
love,” Kieran claimed the last of Naomi’s things. “Like Mom said, I want you to take it easy. Save your energy for sightseeing, because
this is some amazing landscape,” she promised.
Seven was
fanning herself, wishing she still wore her formfitting biosuits, which helped
regulate her body temperature.
“Hot
enough for ya?” Gerry hugged her lightly.
“Humidity is about 95% today.
Welcome to Florida,” he joked.
Kieran sat
with her mother so that Violet could get all the details of the trip to
Starfleet Medical, while Gerry entertained Naomi and Seven with his tour and
details of the area. Kieran caught bits
and pieces, all things she knew from growing up there, but she couldn’t help
watching Naomi’s earnest expression, so interested in every detail. God, she’s beautiful. So perfect, so bright. How can I ever stand to lose her?
Violet saw
the shadow cross Kieran’s face, and knew instantly what her daughter was
thinking. “Honey,” she patted Kieran’s
thigh, “you have to keep your hope alive.
We all do. Don’t let this
disease get you down, not yet. There’s
plenty of time to find the solution,” she encouraged her. “It’s not like with Cass,” she reflected,
“where the thing is so aggressive every second of every day,” she reminded her.
Kieran
wrapped an arm around the elder woman’s frail shoulders. “I know, Mom, thanks. I just want this time to last forever,” she
added. “I love her so much. Isn’t she just—gorgeous?” Kieran murmured,
fawning over her wife.
Violet
nodded. “A lovely young woman. Your dad and I like her very much. And it is so good to see you truly in love,”
she added, taking Kieran’s hand.
Gerry was
busy pointing out the birds along the waterline. “Those are snowy egrets,” he was saying. “And that’s a Great Blue
Heron, with the long bill,” he slowed down so they could get a closer look. “That’s an osprey, and over there are a mess
of pelicans. The brown ones are
juveniles, and when they get older, they turn white,” he explained.
Naomi’s
mouth formed an “oh” as she watched the graceful bird dive headlong into the
water, and come up with a fish.
“We have
an eagle sanctuary on the Isle of Capris,” he reported, “and if we take you
boating, you can see them nesting. Wood
storks, too, ugly old things,” he shuddered.
“The storks build nests the size of small houses, almost,” he
laughed. “You can’t miss them.” He grinned at Seven, who was gaping at the
water below, where a common porpoise had just surfaced.
She was
pointing and bouncing in her seat, like a kid.
“What was that?” she demanded.
Gerry
nodded toward his right. “Keep an eye
out there, and it’ll come up again,” he instructed her. Sure enough, the black arching porpoise
humped out of the water again, spray flying from its blowhole. “We see lots of those on the gulf side,” he
advised her. “They’ll come chase our
boat, if we take you all out for a ride,” he promised. “We’ll take you to Keys,
too, on the Atlantic side, where the water is clear and blue, and you can dive
at the coral reefs. You won’t believe
how beautiful the reef life can be,” he was in his element. “Colors like you’ve never seen anywhere
else. Yellow damsel fish, convict
tangs, blue tangs, parrot fish, sheephead, puffers, skates, sand sharks,
clownfish. You name it, we’ve got it,”
he guaranteed. “Beautiful, isn’t it
Starfish?” he shouted back to Kieran.
“Yeah,
Dad,” she agreed over the whine of the engines. “I’ve really missed it.”
_________________
Seven was
on her third bowl of fruit salad, with no signs of stopping. Kieran watched with great amusement, having
never seen the Borg so ravenous.
“You get
to eat this anytime you want?” she asked Violet through a mouthful of
strawberries and pineapple.
“Every
day. In this heat, and with all the
hard work we do, we eat a lot of fruit.
High in carbs and fructose for energy, but also filled with water. It’s light enough that it doesn’t weigh in
your stomach when you’re diving,” she explained. “We eat a lot of salad for the same reason.”
Gerry
helped himself to a thick slice of bread and some cheese. “We feed our manatees mostly lettuce,” he
smiled, “and they thrive on it. They
can weigh hundreds of pounds, and they maintain their weight on something
humans consider diet food,” he marveled at the fact.
Kieran
finished her lunch, wiping at her mouth with a napkin. “Can I get anyone else anything?” she got up
to recycle her plate.
“I’d take
some more iced tea,” Naomi smiled sweetly up at her.
Kieran
took her glass, and stooped to kiss her.
“You look better today,” she commented.
“Any pain?” she knelt down beside the cast iron patio chair.
“None,”
Naomi assured her. “Maybe it’s the salt
air, or the heat—I don’t know. I feel great,” she kissed Kieran’s
forehead. “Thank you so much for
bringing us here.”
“My
pleasure,” Kieran smiled. “Seven? Are you doing okay?” she noted the pained
expression on the Borg’s face.
“Perfectly
well, thank you,” Seven forced a smile.
Kieran
stood up again, laying a hand on Seven’s shoulder. “You tell me if there’s anything you need, okay Borg-Mom?” she
grinned facetiously.
Seven
rolled her eyes. “I have already told
you, you may not call me Mom,” she griped.
Kieran kissed
the top of Seven’s head. “Sorry. You just bring out the worst in me,” she
grinned.
_____________________
Kieran
eased down into the water, inserting the rebreather device in her mouth. It was no bigger than a deck of cards, and
could recycle the air from her lungs for two hours without being
recharged. She pulled down her goggles,
fixing the seal around her face, and adjusted her fins. She flipped out of the water and dove
straight down, letting the deepening cold surround her. She loved the ocean, and here in the manatee
preserve, the water was cool and clear.
She had only dove a few feet when a huge, looming mass appeared, coming
up from the bottom of the sanctuary.
Bessie came face to face with her, pressing her whiskery mug right up
against Kieran’s eyewear. Kieran
reminded herself not to smile and drop her rebreather, but reached her arms out
wide to engulf the huge manatee in a hug.
She touched Bessie’s flippers, and they rolled over and over in the
water, greeting each other. Bessie
turned over and swam beneath Kieran, pushing her to the surface with a powerful
thrust of her flat fluke.
Kieran
surfaced with the behemoth, laughing at her.
“Hey big girl,” she scrubbed her hand over the rubbery wet balloon feel
of the manatee’s back. “Remember me?”
Bessie
most certainly did remember her, and she seemed to beckon Kieran back to the
depths of the sanctuary. “Right behind
you, Bess,” she promised, following the huge marine mammal, much less graceful
than the elephantine manatee.
Naomi and
Seven sat on the dock, dangling their feet in the water. “I swear,” Naomi murmured, “those two are
communicating,” she breathed appreciatively.
When
Kieran finally returned to the surface, Gerry was waiting patiently. “Hey Starfish,” he got her attention,
“signal her to present her fluke, I need a blood sample.”
“Okay,
Dad,” Kieran agreed. She made a hand
signal in front of the manatee’s face, and the animal obediently swam up to the
dock and lifted her tail out of the water.
Gerry
inserted a large syringe along the main vein, drawing out a vial of blood.
Seven
watched with interest. “What is that
for?” she wondered.
“I have to
check all the animals for parasites, from time to time. We make sure they stay healthy. One sick animal can infect the whole lot,”
he explained, plugging the blood vial into a small monitoring station. “She’s clean,” he announced. “Thanks Starfish,” he called out to his
daughter. “Naomi, would you like to
feed her?”
Naomi’s
eyes lit right up. “I sure would,” she nodded
eagerly.
“Okay,
slide on down into the water, and start treading. Not too vigorously, now, or you’ll scare her away. They like you
to be slow and gentle, like they are,” he advised. “Now take this lettuce,” he handed a head of iceberg to Naomi. “Put it under water and shake it a little to
get her attention, and she’ll eat it right out of your hand,” he smiled at the
red-gold haired woman.
Naomi’s
face was enraptured as the huge creature moved in the direction of the
lettuce. “Oh my gosh, she’s doing it!”
she gasped. “Oh, it tickles,” she
giggled, but held very still. She could
feel the snuffling of Bessie’s lips on her palm as she coaxed the leaves free
from the head, the thick whiskers detecting the meal for the animal.
“You can
rub her back, if you like,” Gerry prompted her. “She likes that a lot.”
Naomi
continued to hold the lettuce but with her other hand, she touched the blubbery
flesh of the manatee’s body. “It feels
so strange,” she murmured. “Why is she all scarred?”
“Boat
propellers injured a lot of manatees, before the government stepped in and
outlawed them. Now all boats have to
have inboard motors, to protect the wildlife, but Bessie was a victim of
legislation that came too slowly,” he explained. “But you won’t hurt her, Naomi.
She loves to be scratched,” he assured her.
“Seven,”
Gerry grinned at his remaining guest.
“We’ll get Babar up here for you to feed. He’s a big old boy, too,” he promised.
Kieran
hung in the water, taking in the sight of her wife interacting with one of the
most amazing creatures ever to inhabit the earth, smiling like a fool as the
salty water made her buoyant. Just
then, Babar came into the area, and brushed against her legs. “Hey, Babar,” she reached down to touch
him. “How’ve you been, you old seadog?”
She dove back under to say “hi”.
Violet was
busy doing her usual chores, checking the salinity of the water in the
preserve, looking for any impurities or chemical imbalances. Satisfied that all was well, she shook out
the container and rinsed it, putting it back in the shack where they kept their
supplies.
Gerry was
busy educating their guests. “You know,
these critters were nearly extinct, in the 21st century,” he
lectured. “Boating and overpopulation
had run them out of habitat. The
Florida government had to re-buy a lot of the land and plant mangroves again to
make habitat for them, until they could recover their numbers. We’ve been breeding them for as long as I
can remember, haven’t we Vi?”
She
nodded. “There are preserves all over
the world with our manatees,” she allowed herself a bit of pride. “Every zoo with an exhibit probably had
Gerry design it, and populated it from our program.”
Seven
smiled up at the couple. “Kieran never
mentioned you were famous. I see
humility runs in your family,” she complimented them. “It’s fascinating. You’ve
dedicated your life to saving these creatures.
The Borg dedicate theirs to destroying uniqueness. No wonder most humans find the Borg so
repugnant,” she gained a new appreciation for the matter.
“I imagine
your story is more fascinating than anything we could tell you,” Gerry
admitted. “I’d love to hear about it,
if it doesn’t upset you to talk about it,” he added hastily.
Seven
nodded. “It does not bother me. I have come to terms with the terrible
things I did as part of the collective.
In fact, I can live with myself because your daughter is an excellent
Counselor. She has been an incalculable
help to me,” Seven said fondly.
Violet sat
down beside the Borg. “Really? Kieran helped
you?” she was clearly surprised.
Seven
nodded emphatically. “She has helped my
entire family, at one time or another,” she reported.
“Especially
me,” Naomi chimed in.
While
Kieran was paddling around with her beloved marine life, the four people who
loved her best sat and talked about her.
The Counselor would have died from embarrassment, if she had known the
things they said, but Kieran’s parents were getting a lesson from Seven and
Naomi to show them just how important their daughter’s career was, even if it
didn’t help save the Earth, per se.
__________________
“Starfish,”
Kieran’s dad was saying over a nightcap.
“You remember that old navy ship they sunk off the coast, right before
you shipped out with Voyager?”
Kieran
nodded. “Yeah—an artificial reef,
right?”
“You
should see it now,” he bragged.
“Unbelievable.”
Kieran’s
interest perked right up. “Isn’t that a
deep dive?” she loved the danger of deep water.
“Sure
is. Think you’re up for it?” he
grinned. “I’m getting on in years, but
I think I’m still up to it.”
“Gerry,”
Violet scolded, “you’re just asking for the bends,” she smacked his arm.
“Nonsense,”
he swatted her hand away. “I’ve been
diving fifty years, and never once had them, woman,” he grabbed her and dragged
her into his lap, kissing her cheek.
Naomi sat
in the floor, between Kieran’s legs.
“What are the bends?” she asked.
“It’s a
problem you can get on deep sea dives,” Kieran explained. “The nitrogen in your blood stream can make
bubbles in it, if you don’t regulate your descent and ascent precisely. It
comes from the rapid change in water pressure around you. It can cripple or kill you. But the treatments are a lot more effective
than in the old days, when people routinely died from it,” she assured her
wife. “You probably know it as
decompression sickness. You studied
that in school, didn’t you, in your aviation history?”
Naomi nodded. “It sounds risky,
Kieran,” she objected. “A lot of those
aviation pioneers died. It can damage
your nerves and all sorts of nasty things,” she pointed out.
Kieran
shook her head. “You worry too much,
honey. Dad and I have been diving for
years. He’s an expert, and he has all
the best equipment.”
Gerry
grinned. “It’s a hell of a reef,
Starfish,” he promised her. “We’ll do
the Keys first, and then we can do the deep dive the next day. Deal?”
“Gerry,”
Violet protested. “You promised Doctor
Cromwell you’d help with the seedlings day after tomorrow. Kieran should help you with that.”
“He’ll
understand. Hell, he’ll probably want
to go, too. Did you meet Dick Cromwell,
Naomi? He was at your wedding,” he
jogged her memory.
“Yes, I
did. He seemed like a very nice man,”
she commented.
“He’s in
charge of the mangrove relocation and fortification project. Mangroves saved the Florida ecosystem when
the developers nearly destroyed everything,” Gerry advised. “Dick’s people are the ones who can take
credit for that,” he smiled at her.
“Well, if
you ask me,” Naomi put in her two cents, “I’d rather you spend your day planting
mangroves than getting the bends, Kieran Wildman,” she threw her head backwards
to look up at her partner.
Kieran
laughed. “I imagine we can find time to
do both, Miss Missy,” she shot back.
She gazed affectionately at her wife.
“But if you’re going to worry, sweetie, then we can work on the
seedlings.”
“I am
worried. I don’t know, Kieran, I just
have a bad feeling about it.”
“Well,
then, that settles that. Dad, sorry,
but like I said, Naomi gets what she wants.
You and I can dive that reef anytime.”
He
shrugged. “Okay, Starfish. Whatever you say.”
_________________
Kate
Pulaski rubbed her eyes distractedly.
She forced herself to look through the scope one more time. “Damn,” she muttered.
Kathryn
Janeway sat in a flimsy jumpsuit, the equivalent of a prison uniform, as far as
she was concerned, freezing her ass off and waiting for Pulaski to tell her if
there was any less bacteria in her system.
Pulaski
came back from the lab, shaking her head.
“Sorry. No change,” she
groused. “How are you feeling?”
Kathryn
scowled. “Like I want to kill someone,”
she said honestly. “I’m so God damned
angry, I can hardly stand it,” she began pacing again. “Seven is off with Kieran God knows where,
and I’m stuck in here in this straight jacket.”
“We
haven’t restrained you since you were admitted,” Pulaski pointed out.
“I am a
starship captain, God damn it,” Janeway spat.
“No one should ever have the right to restrain me.”
Pulaski
eyed her suspiciously. “Your wife might
beg to differ,” she pointed out.
Kathryn
whirled on the doctor. “I never did
anything she didn’t ask for,” she defended herself.
“Kathryn,”
Pulaski sighed, “as long as you believe that, I can’t do a thing to help you,”
she said piteously.
“I didn’t
used to be this way,” Kathryn shook her head.
“I’m not a violent person, not by nature,” she denied the truth of the
matter.
“On the
contrary,” Pulaski disagreed. “You are
exactly that. This bacteria seems to
find a way to bring out the more latent parts of your true nature. It is the one constant pattern I see. The things your superego would ordinarily
hide from you, the things your moral and social conditioning would make you
control, this bacteria unleashes them.
Except in Naomi’s case, which seems to be a strictly physiological
reaction, not a psychological one.”
Kathryn
smirked. “Don’t be so sure. She went after Kieran, even though Kieran
was technically still married,” she noted.
“That isn’t like Naomi.”
“Maybe,”
Pulaski allowed.
“Harry got
depressed, Tom got hot for B’Elanna, B’Elanna got hot for everyone in sight,”
Kathryn went down the list, “and Kieran became a pedophile. Oh, and Seven fell in love with Kieran.”
Pulaski
shook her head. “B’Elanna didn’t just
get promiscuous. She expressed a
renewed interest in men, and that was the hidden, dark secret for her. She still desired men.”
Kathryn
listened as carefully as she could, with her concentration fragmented as it was
by the chemicals in her brain. “I just
want two things from you. I want out of
this godforsaken place, and I want you to keep my daughter from dying.”
“I’m
working on it,” she tried to placate the angry woman. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to have these gentlemen take
you back to your room. I have a
conference with the doctors on Qian,” she bowed out of the room.
__________________
Naomi
Wildman seemed to thrive in the Florida heat, but the threesome reluctantly
concluded that if Naomi and Kieran were going to see much on their honeymoon,
it was time to move on. The three women
headed back to Indiana, where Seven could settle into Naomi and Kieran’s house
with Geejay. Gretchen tried to convince
Seven to stay with her, but Seven insisted on taking care of the smaller
farmhouse for her daughter while the newlyweds traveled. Naomi was so tired out from the trip to
Naples, she begged Kieran to stay in Indiana a couple of days so she could
rest.
While
Naomi was sleeping their first night back, Kieran crept down to the porch,
watching the deer wandering the fields of crops in the evening, and crying
silently to herself at the anticipated loss of her wife. She hid her sorrow around Naomi as best she
could, but the impending sense of doom was taking a serious toll on her
mindset.
Naomi was
showing the signs of aging, and on their second day in Indiana, she awakened
Kieran by screaming in the bathroom.
Kieran shot out of bed, thinking Naomi needed to be medicated for pain,
but found her wife standing in front of the bathroom mirror, appalled at her
own appearance. Her hair had developed
streaks of gray overnight, her face showing noticeable lines around her mouth
and eyes. Kieran wordlessly took Naomi
into her arms, telling her repeatedly how beautiful she was, taking her
immediately to bed to make love to her, spending hours gazing at her face.
Kieran
truly believed everything she said to Naomi, for the truth of the matter was,
for Kieran Wildman, nothing could ever mar Naomi’s beauty. Kieran wished more than anything that Sieken
could join them again, so that Naomi would know beyond a doubt that for Kieran,
Naomi would be eternally lovely and perfect.
But Qian was thousands of light years away, and Naomi was changing
daily.
They
visited San Diego, where there was a world famous animal park, they flew
through the Grand Canyon, they went whale watching in Cape Cod, and they
returned to Indiana, where Naomi insisted on being every couple of weeks, so
that she could see Seven and Geejay. As
it had been on Voyager, Naomi had good days and bad days, and days when she had
to stay constantly medicated to endure the pain of her body’s assault on
itself.
Kieran sat
on Gretchen Janeway’s porch, sipping a cold beer, while Naomi and Seven made
dinner. Gretchen sat beside her
granddaughter-in-law, studying the worry lines in her forehead.
“Kieran,
you look like hell,” she said flatly.
Kieran
toasted the sentiment, a morose expression on her face. “How am I supposed to look, Gretchen? My wife is dying,” she scowled. “Kate told us two years. It’s looking more likely to me that she won’t
last 'til Christmas, at this rate,” she said thickly.
Gretchen
rested her hand on Kieran’s thigh. “I
see it, too. And all things considered,
you’re handling it amazingly well.
Naomi is happy and although she seems to be physically hurting today,
her spirits are good. You’re the
reason,” she pointed out.
Kieran bit
her lip, fighting tears. “I’ve been
through this once before, you know,” she admitted. “She died once before.
She crossed over to the other side, talked to my sister and her
biological mother. I was with her
through months and months of illness, and weeks of her trying to pass on. I never thought I’d be doing it again,” she
grimaced, slugging back a healthy swallow.
“Naomi
told me about that experience. She also
told me Samantha told her if she came back here, she’d have a remission, but it
wouldn’t be permanent. It would be long
enough for Naomi to resolve some of the more pressing issues she had. I think Samantha meant Naomi’s relationship
with you, and getting home.”
“I’d
forgotten that,” Kieran sighed. “I
guess I heard what I wanted to hear, which was remission. Honestly, she was so healthy after that, I
thought she was cured,” she groused.
“When we were on Qian, Naomi was just—radiant, all the time. She had such energy and such
enthusiasm. I’ve never seen a woman
more beautiful than she was then.”
“Are you
sorry now that you didn’t turn her away, like Kathryn wanted?” Gretchen asked
softly, sipping her own beer.
“God, no,”
Kieran replied immediately. “I wouldn’t
change anything, save the relapse in her condition,” Kieran insisted. “I love her, Gretchen. I wouldn’t trade the last year. I just wish I were stronger for her. I wish I could stop thinking about losing
her,” her eyes misted again. “And I
know this time, I have to be better.”
“Better?”
Gretchen asked softly.
“When she
was dying the last time,” Kieran hung her head, ashamed, “she asked my
permission to die. She asked me to tell
her it was okay to go,” she explained.
“And I was too weak,” she hid her face in her free hand, suppressing
tears. “I wouldn’t tell her it was okay
to go. I made her keep fighting, when
she was so spent, and in so much pain, because I was a selfish asshole, and I
couldn’t bear my own loss,” she squeezed the bridge of her nose roughly to stop
herself from crying. “This time, I
can’t put her through that. It was
cruel. And she never once mentioned it
to me again, never faulted me for it, never held it against me. God, I don’t deserve a love like hers,” she
heaved herself off the swing, angry at herself, storming down the path to the
orchard. “No mercy, KT,” she muttered
to herself. “You wipe that sick fucking
look off your face,” she told herself.
Gretchen
watched her churning along the grass, heart aching. There were no words of comfort she could provide, no wise
insights. Edward had died so suddenly,
unexpectedly, and there was no suffering involved. All in all, Gretchen felt the hand she had been dealt was
infinitely easier to play than Kieran’s.
Kieran walked as fast as her legs would carry her, and she disappeared
in the gathering darkness. Gretchen
finished her beer, watching the stars come out.
“Gran?”
Naomi slipped out into the night air.
“Dinner’s ready. Where’s
Kieran?”
“Wrestling
the devil,” Gretchen replied enigmatically, reaching for her granddaughter and
pulling her onto the swing.
Naomi
leaned against Gretchen’s shoulder, sinking into her embrace. “She’s taking it so hard,” she
murmured. “I hate putting her through
it. Sometimes, I think, I should send her
away so she doesn’t have to watch this happen to me again,” she sighed.
“Honey,
she’d never hear it for a second. She
thinks the sun rises and sets at your feet.
I’m surprised she ever sleeps at all, for fear you might smile and she’d
miss it,” Gretchen hugged her tightly.
“She
doesn’t sleep much, Gran, I know it. I
can’t help it—I have to, because I get so run down if I don’t, but I think she
wanders off in the night to cry herself sick.
I’ve found her missing more than once,” she admitted. “No telling when she’ll be back, either, so
we might as well not wait for her,” she groaned as she heaved herself off the
porch swing.
“No,”
Gretchen told her granddaughter firmly, “you go find her. This is something she shouldn’t have to bear
alone, and you have to help her with it.
She’s drowning, Naomi. Marriage
is a two-way street, and you have to be as strong for her as she’s being for
you. Be her life preserver. Go tell her she’s allowed to be human.”
Naomi
hesitated. “Should I? I don’t know how to begin to comfort her,
Gran.”
“Maybe you
don’t comfort her. But you definitely
don’t keep trying to hide your grief from each other. Share it. It will seem
less overwhelming if you do,” she counseled.
“Seven and I will hold dinner.”
“No, go
ahead without us. Please, Gran. Just save us enough for a meal when we get
back,” she decided.
Naomi
walked out into the darkening orchard, glancing around the thick apple trees
for a glimpse of her wife. “Kieran?”
she called out. “Are you out here?”
The moon
was coming up on the horizon, looming large in the sky, full and almost
golden. Naomi gasped at the sight,
murmuring “Oh, it’s so pretty.”
“Not half
as pretty as you, honey,” Kieran dropped out of an apple tree, landing a few
feet from her wife.
Naomi
shrieked, startled. “Jesus Kieran,” she
bitched, moving to shake her wife. “You
scared the piss out of me.”
Kieran
grinned at her. “Sorry. I couldn’t resist,” she admitted.
“Dinner is
ready, if you’re starving,” she offered, taking Kieran’s hand. “Or we can wait.”
“Let’s go
down to the pond and watch the moonrise,” Kieran gathered her into a warm
embrace. “I feel like being tediously
romantic,” she nuzzled Naomi’s cheek.
“I think
you feel more like brooding over how sick I am,” Naomi slid her hands up
Kieran’s chest, peering into her deep brown eyes. “Why are you hiding from me again, KT? Do you think I don’t know how angry you are, or that I don’t
notice you disappear in the middle of the night because you don’t want me to
see you crying?”
Kieran
sighed, leaning her forehead against Naomi’s.
“I’m sorry, Na. I’m just getting
really scared, now.”
Naomi
laced her fingers in Kieran’s, pulling her down the path toward the pond. “Talk to me then, my beloved. I need to hear what you’re feeling,” she
encouraged her partner. “You’re scared
because I’m starting to look older?”
“Yes. I guess it’s hard to be in denial, if I look
at you and see the cumulative aging process, and I notice a difference almost
every day,” she admitted. “And I
remember how weak I was the last time you got sick,” she hung her head.
“Weak? Kieran, you’ve got to be kidding me. My own mothers couldn’t stand to watch me
dying, and you never left me for a second,” she gazed lovingly up at the taller
woman. “I still haven’t figured out how
you went to the ensuite,” she joked.
“You bathed me, you carried me to the toilet, you fed me like an
infant—how in God’s name can you ever say you were weak? Honey, you did everything but personally
carry me to heaven,” she protested.
“I
wouldn’t give you permission to die,” Kieran said gruffly. “I was too attached to you to let you have
peace.”
“Baby,”
Naomi stopped along the path to hold her.
“That was not weak. God, it was
honest. You loved me. You didn’t want me to leave you behind. I understood that.”
Kieran
rested her head on Naomi’s shoulder.
“You didn’t think it was the most selfish thing ever?”
“Human,
yes. Selfish, no. Kieran, if that’s what you’re worried about,
believe me when I tell you that this time, I’m fighting to the bitter end. If death wants me, it’s going to have to
take me kicking and screaming. I won’t
ask you to let me go, I promise,” she lifted her face to her wife’s, kissing
her tenderly.
“Na,”
Kieran’s voice was strangled with grief.
“I need you so much,” she sobbed, losing control of herself
completely. “Cassidy told me I would
have more kids, and I was so sure it was going to be with you,” she shook from
the realization that her sister’s prediction had either been wrong, or was for
some future partner she would have.
Naomi held
her gently, letting her cry herself out.
When she quieted, the Ktarian touched her face, gazing meaningfully into
her eyes. “Everything Samantha and
Cassidy told us has come true, so far.
I have every faith that you will have more kids, and that means there’s
someone else in your future. Or else,
Kate Pulaski is going to solve this thing,” Naomi held out faint hope. “But like you, I think her time table was
wrong. I’m not going to make it another
two years, and we both know that. So if
she’s going to figure it out, it better be soon. Too much longer, and it won’t matter anyway, because I’ll be so
much older than you, I won’t be able to have kids, or keep up with them if you
give birth.” Naomi sighed. “If it’s any consolation, it doesn’t do my
heart any good at all to think you’re going to be starting over with someone
else. I’m just petty enough to feel
jealous about that, even if it probably will be with Seven,” she snuggled into
Kieran’s shoulder.
Kieran’s eyes
flew open wide. “Seven? And me?” she was shocked.
Naomi
twined her arms around Kieran’s neck.
“Honey, I’m not stupid, and I know my mother. And I think you’d be good with her. You took the liberty of pushing B'Elanna in Noah’s direction when
your marriage ended. If I die, please,
make my mother happy. She loves you,
you know. And I don’t think her
relationship with Kathryn will ever be salvaged, after all they’ve been
through. Seven makes the most gorgeous
babies, too. Geejay is going to be even
more stunning than her Borgness, don’t you think?”
“I think
this conversation it too fucking weird for words, Wildwoman. Whatever Seven feels for me is probably just
a by-product of this stupid bacteria.
So while we’re doing weird, I went to the ensuite when I took you,” she
explained.
Naomi
grinned. “Well now, that was efficient
of you,” she laughed. “God, I love you,
Kieran Wildman. Thank you for facing
this illness with me every day. I know
it’s killing you, but you see, honey, I’m the selfish one. I’m keeping you in this relationship, even
though the kinder thing would be to let you go.”
“You’d
have to make me,” Kieran contended. “I
said 'til death do us part, and I meant it.”
Naomi took
perverse pleasure in teasing her wife.
“So if Kate finds the cure, but I’ve already hit my eighties by then,
are you going to stick around and boink an old prune?”
Kieran
howled with laughter. “Honey, if you
still remember how to boink at eighty, I’ll be right there with you,” she
tickled Naomi’s ribs playfully.
Naomi
kissed her, giggling. “Let’s boink in
the pond right now,” she waggled her eyebrows.
Early July
brought nighttime temperatures in the 80’s, and the pond stayed warm well into
the morning hours.
Kieran
tangled her fingers in Naomi’s hair, kissing her deeply. “If that’s what you want, baby,” she
breathed warmly in her lover’s ear, reaching for the buttons on her blouse,
“I’m always up for skinny dipping.”
“Even
though you know Captain Picard did Beverly Crusher right here on our wedding
day?” Naomi slid her hands up the back of Kieran’s t-shirt, unclasping her bra.
“I like
red heads,” Kieran enthused. “That’s
just added incentive, if you ask me,” she teased, pulling Naomi’s shirt off.
They
undressed each other slowly, kissing and caressing and fondling, exciting
themselves with the process to the point that they were already on the verge.
“We don’t
do this enough,” Naomi advised her wife.
“We should do it every day, while we still can,” she groaned as Kieran’s
mouth enveloped her sex. “God, KT, how
are you even able to—you’re so tall—” she puzzled over how her wife could have
her face between Naomi’s legs, as long bodied as she was.
Kieran
smiled against her labia, nuzzling them.
“I have mud up my ass, for starters,” she laughed, stretching out
beneath her wife’s legs, leaning back on her arms. “But it feels pretty interesting,” she joked.
Naomi
started to laugh, and couldn’t focus on Kieran’s lovemaking for giggling. “You wise-ass,” she accused. “Talk about ruining a moment,” she bitched.
“That’s
mud-ass, I said,” Kieran corrected her.
“Not wise-ass.”
Naomi
grabbed Kieran by the hair, tugging her head back. “Are you going to make jokes, or are you going to fuck me,
Commander?”
“Oooh, I
love it when you get foul-mouthed and bossy, all at the same time,” she
smarted, burying her face in Naomi’s folds again.
Naomi was
laughing too hard to respond sexually.
She pushed Kieran away, dropping to the ground. “Let’s just mud wrestle,” she offered,
pushing her wife down on the soggy ground, kissing her.
Kieran
smiled wickedly, flipping Naomi over onto her back. “Your turn for the mud enema,” she lay on top of her, pressing
her into the sludge.
Naomi
squealed as the slick slime oozed between her legs. “You weren’t kidding. We’ll
never get clean, after this,” she grabbed her wife and kissed her fiercely,
smearing a thick handful of muck on her chest.
“If you
tell me this is one of your fantasies,” Kieran watched Naomi’s fingers making
mud streaks on her breasts, “I’m filing for divorce, Na.”
“My
fantasies are never this dirty,” she waggled her eyebrows at her own pun.
“Oh, that
hurt,” Kieran complained. “Another bad
one like that and I’m dumping your hot little ass in the pond.”
“You think
my ass is hot? Even though I’m
middle-aged now?” Naomi asked more seriously.
Kieran
kissed her intently. “I think you’re
the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen.
And your ass is exquisite,” she said sincerely. “I stare at it all the time. Nobody has ever affected me like you
do. You can make me all hot and
bothered with just a smile, or a word, or a touch.”
“I like
the sound of that. Let’s see how hot
and bothered we can get you,” she rolled away from her wife, tugging her
upright. “You, me, the pond, right
now,” she growled.
Kieran
took her hand, leading her to the water’s edge. She was all seriousness, the
silliness spent for the time being.
“Thank you for coming to find me.
I really needed to talk to you, love.”
“Yeah? Well, I really need to connect with you on a
primal level,” she admitted, walking into the lukewarm water, pulling Kieran
along with her. “I need you to talk to
me, in as primitive a way as you’re capable of.”
Kieran
kissed her deeply. “How about if I
limit it to grunts and groans?” she shivered as the mud rinsed free of her
nether regions.
“An
occasional ‘oh God’ is okay, too,” Naomi decided.
__________________
Gretchen
Janeway and Seven of Nine sat on the porch swing, waiting for Naomi and Kieran
to come back to the house.
They
talked quietly, Geejay snoring in Gretchen’s arms. A disembodied voice wafted through the pitch blackness.
“Seven?”
Naomi said softly. “Kieran and I had a
little—um—mud fight,” she reported.
“Could you bring us a couple of towels?”
Seven
grinned. “You mean you got naked at the
pond, and your clothing was too ruined to be serviceable,” she scolded.
“That,
too,” Naomi admitted. “We’d prefer not
to shock you both by waltzing naked across the lawn,” she said apologetically.
Seven
laughed. “I’ll be right back,” she
agreed. She returned momentarily with a
stack of towels, wandering into the side yard.
“Where are you, Naomi?” she demanded.
“Behind
the oak tree,” Naomi said sheepishly.
Seven
handed her the towels and rejoined Gretchen on the swing. The newlyweds emerged directly, toting a
heap of mud stained clothes and shoes.
“We’re just going to recycle these,” Naomi walked gingerly across the
porch, Kieran following behind her, blushing and not speaking.
“Lord,
that pond sees more action than a ten dollar whore,” Gretchen said to Seven.
Kieran
overheard her and cracked up laughing, grabbing Naomi and pulling her onto the
couch. She repeated what Gretchen had
said, and they both howled with laughter, rolling around on the couch in just
their towels.
“I’ll go
run the clothes through,” Kieran kissed Naomi, still chuckling.
“I’ll go
reheat dinner,” Naomi offered, heading back for the kitchen.
They ate
in their towels, not really caring if they got teased, since the damage was
already done. Renewed in their love,
they fed each other from one plate, all sadness and grimness forgotten for the
moment.
“I think
we should go to Egypt, next,” Naomi decided.
“Then if you don’t think it’s totally stupid, I’d like to take the
Starfleet Academy entrance exams, just to see how I would’ve done, if I had the
chance to actually go to school.”
“The exams
are the third week of this month?” Kieran clarified.
“Yeah. I already paid the fee. I’d like to see K-Mom, while we’re at the
Academy, too,” she said softly. “Can
you handle it?”
“For you,
yes, my love,” she agreed. “But only
because you’re asking.”
“How bad
was it, Kieran? How badly did she hurt
Seven?” she whispered, making sure Seven couldn’t hear.
Kieran
grimaced. “You don’t want to know,
Na. You remember the mark B'Elanna left
on me, that night you took me to sickbay?”
Naomi
nodded, taking a bite of potatoes from Kieran’s fork.
“Imagine
that about one hundred times,” Kieran advised.
“I’m pretty sure Kathryn tried to tear Seven’s abdominal implant right
out of her body,” she shuddered, remembering the blood. “But honey, I want you to be prepared for
the worst. Kathryn wasn’t in her right
mind, that night, and she was saying horrid things.”
Naomi fed
Kieran a garlic stuffed olive, knowing those were her favorites. “Such as?”
Kieran
sighed. “She accused Seven and I of
having an affair. She’s convinced we
were meeting in the cargo bay, after Qian.
She threatened to tell you that’s what we’d been doing, in fact,” she
chewed the tangy morsel slowly. “Poor
Seven,” she breathed. “I just want you
to understand, she might be acting crazy when you see her.”
“Okay,”
Naomi swallowed. “We’ll leave for Egypt
tomorrow. Then we’ll do Starfleet. Then how about if we go back to see your
folks?”
Kieran
smiled, leaning across the table to kiss her.
“They’d like that. Thanks. I know they can be a pain in the ass.”
“Actually,”
Naomi admitted, “I want to go because I want you to dive that reef with your
Dad. I feel bad that I made you skip
it, because I was being paranoid. I
know you really wanted to go, and I held you back,” she touched Kieran’s hand.
“You’re
the best,” she twined her fingers with Naomi’s, watching their wedding rings
slide together. “Do you want to invite
Seven to go back to Florida? I think
she loved it there.”
“Depends,”
Naomi waggled her eyebrows. “Are you
going to sneak off to some cargo bay with her?”
Kieran
didn’t think it was funny. “Naomi,” she
said sincerely, “as long as you’re alive, I’ll never touch another woman or
man,” she said sincerely. “Except
myself,” she added, winking.
“Now
that’s one of my fantasies,” Naomi leaned her chin in her hand. “No mud involved, whatsoever.”
Kieran
shook her head. “To watch me do
myself?”
Naomi
nodded vigorously. “Is that totally
twisted?”
“Actually,”
Kieran shivered, picturing Naomi touching herself, “I’d like to watch you,
too,” she decided. She quirked an
eyebrow. “I might learn a better
technique.”
__________________
Naomi and
Kieran went from Egypt to Starfleet Academy, got a room at the Intergalactic
Suites, and found the testing site where Naomi would sit for her exams. They ran into Icheb, who was also there to
test, and the three companions had lunch together before going their separate
ways. B'Elanna and Noah had settled
into a house in San Francisco, so that B'Elanna could work with Dr. Pulaski’s
clinical trials. She had also applied
to Lawrence Livermore Labs, hoping to land a job for the fall. Noah was happy to take leave, and raise
Katie while B'Elanna pursued a new career.
Naomi and Kieran went to their house for dinner their first night in
town, got the report on Kathryn, who was not any better, and spent a quiet
evening with their friends.
The next
morning, Naomi tested while Kieran looked up Robin Lefler. She wasn’t sure why she wanted to see her
ex-lover, but she felt like startling the hell out of her by showing up at her
office. She checked the workstation in the lobby of the counseling center,
determined that Robin had no morning appointments, which wasn’t unusual for
summer term, and took the turbo lift up to the fourth floor. She realized she was nervous, expectant,
maybe even frightened. Robin had been
invited to Kieran and Naomi’s wedding, but she hadn’t come for whatever reason.
Kieran
checked her appearance in the reflective glass of the lobby, making sure her
shirt was tucked into her khaki pants, her belt was buckled, and her fly was
zipped. She shrugged at her reflection,
thinking it was as good as she ever looked.
She made her way down the hall, and found Robin’s office door standing
open. Robin Lefler sat behind her desk,
perusing a data PADD, her crystal blue eyes half-lidded because her coffee
hadn’t kicked in yet. She still wore
her hair shoulder length, and Kieran was certain she had not aged one iota
since Enterprise.
Kieran
stood there, studying her ex-fiancée’s features. “God, you haven’t changed one bit, Robbie,” she finally said
softly.
Robin
looked up from her work, smiled ear to ear, and leapt out of her chair. “Oh my God,” she came around her desk and
grabbed the taller woman in a fierce hug.
“Look at you! What brings you to
town?” she laughed, holding Kieran at arm’s length, looking her up and down. “I haven’t changed? You look exactly the same—gorgeous as ever,”
she grinned. “Come sit down,” she
pulled the tall commander over to her psychiatric couch. “Can I get you some coffee?”
“I’d kill
for some,” Kieran agreed. She held up
her hands. “But don’t psychoanalyze
that statement,” she laughed. “Jesus,
Robbie, could you be any prettier?” she breathed. “I’d forgotten,” she smiled, accepting the cup from her old
friend. “Why the hell didn’t you come
to my wedding?” Kieran demanded.
Robin
laughed liltingly. “I didn’t want to
have to stand up and object, when the preacher got to that part,” she
teased. “Actually,” she said seriously,
“I thought it was inappropriate to see you in that context, after so long. I wanted you to be the one who decided if
we’d be in touch. I know your
mother-in-law sent the invitations—Wesley told me. He also told me your wife is deadly pretty,” she admitted. “I was afraid I’d be jealous.” She sipped her coffee thoughtfully. “He says Naomi has been very sick. How is she doing?”
Kieran
shrugged. “Pulaski is her doctor. Kate is calling it a terminal illness, so I
guess that’s about as bad as it gets,” she admitted. “We’re here so Na can take the Academy exams. She wanted to find out how she would have
placed, if she could have actually applied.”
“She could
still apply,” Robin stated emphatically.
“No,”
Kieran argued. “Pulaski told us—if
we’re lucky, she might live a couple of years.
But I’ve watched her deteriorating, Robbie, and I can tell you, she
won’t live to see our first anniversary,” she said softly.
“God, KT,
I’m sorry,” she took Kieran’s hand.
“Thanks. But tell me about you. How in hell did you—the woman who wasn’t
going to be married to any stinking starship shrink—end up becoming one?” she
laughed.
“Long,
long story,” Robin held up her hand.
“Let’s just say after my marriage to Mike Kirk tanked, I did some soul
searching,” she chuckled.
“Wesley
says you’ve never remarried,” Kieran noted.
“Never
found anyone I liked as much as you,” she flirted. “I’m still looking,” she advised. “Wes told me you have a daughter,” she nudged her ex-lover.
“I
do. She’s barely four. Cute as hell, too. But she lives with my ex.”
“How does
that work out?” Robin sounded like a counselor.
“Good. We’re on really good terms, B'Elanna and
I. In fact, her current boyfriend is one
of my best friends. He and Wesley stood
up with me at the wedding.”
“Not
Deanna Troi?” Robin teased.
“No, but
she and Will Riker were there. They’re
married, now,” she noted. “I didn’t
intend to come monopolize your morning, either, Robbie, but I figured I’m here,
and I just had to say hi.”
“I have
nothing on my agenda, KT. Have you had
breakfast?” she asked hopefully.
Kieran
had, in fact, eaten with Naomi two hours before. “I can always eat. Can
you skip out and go get some?”
“That’d be
great. Let me log myself out,” she went
to her work station.
_________________
Kieran was
pleased to affirm to herself that she and Robin Lefler had actually been
friends, all those years ago, and not just two Ensigns burning up the
sheets. It felt good to catch up on
gossip and Robin was eager to hear all about the Voyager years. They parted company well after lunchtime had
come and gone, promising to get together again soon. Kieran didn’t know if they would ever bother, but it was fun to
think about, all the same.
Naomi’s
tests were over at two, and Kieran waited outside the building for her. She came out looking a bit worn, but
smiling.
“How did
you do?” Kieran kissed her hello.
“The
automated proctor says I tested out of two years,” she reported proudly. “Now I really wish I could go,” she sighed
wistfully. “But at least I know I was
actually cadet material,” she slipped her hand in Kieran’s.
“I knew
you were, honey. Congratulations on
such high marks,” she praised her wife.
“You look wonderful, today, Na.
I think Egypt did great things for you.”
Naomi
smiled gratefully at her wife. “What
did you do all day?”
“Pestered
Robin Lefler,” Kieran admitted. “It was
nice to catch up with her again.”
Naomi eyed
her wife warily. “Okay. How is she?”
Kieran
dutifully refrained from pointing out that Robin was still drop-dead
gorgeous. “She seemed very happy with
her new life, and like a completely different person.”
“Good,”
Naomi wasn’t sure what the proper response was. “Are you ready to brave my mother?”
Kieran
squeezed her fingers. “Ready as I’ll
ever be, Na.”
__________________
Kieran
felt like she had stepped through a spatial rift and into the parallel world
where she had killed Kathryn Janeway.
Watching Kathryn pacing, raging to herself, swearing and stopping
occasionally to pound her fist into the wall, screaming, Kieran couldn’t tell
much difference between the two Janeways.
Naomi’s
eyes were wide with fear, watching through the mirrored observation
window. “Jesus Christ,” she murmured,
“she’s a lunatic,” her voice quavered.
Kieran
stepped up behind her, wrapping her in supportive arms. “I was afraid of this, Na,” Kieran advised
her. “Do you want to go, or do you want
to try to talk to her?”
“I don’t
know,” Naomi said faintly. “Will she
even realize I’m here?”
“I think,
even people in the throes of extreme mental illness, have some fleeting
awareness of what’s going on around them.
If you have something to say to her, you should say it,” Kieran
counseled.
Naomi
nodded, keying the controls. The
mirrored window went from unidirectional visibility to a clear surface. She opened a comm channel. “Mom?” she said softly. “K-Mom?”
Kathryn
whirled toward her daughter’s voice.
“Naomi?” she gazed through the partition with a haunted expression. “Honey,” she hid her face in her hands. “I don’t want you to see me like this,” she
choked out the words. “Kieran, get her
out of here,” she begged.
“Please,
Mom,” Naomi touched the glass. “I love
you. I came to spend some time with
you, that’s all. Don’t be ashamed. This bacteria, it’s changing me too. Look at me,” she implored, holding out her
hands.
“My God,”
Kathryn breathed, lucid for the moment.
“Your hair is turning gray,” she realized. “You look older than I do,” her face started to work as if she
would burst into tears. “Naomi, I’m so
sorry,” she apologized. “I got us stuck
in that God forsaken place, and now you’re going to die, and it’s all my
fault,” she sat down in the middle of the floor, knees drawn to her chest,
rocking herself.
“Can I
come in there with you, Mom?” Naomi asked gently. “I want to hold you,” her voice thickened.
“Naomi,”
Kieran said in a low, warning tone.
“You can’t. It’s not safe.”
Kathryn
let out a blood curdling scream and threw herself against the glass, trying to
get her hands on Kieran. “You took my
wife away from me, and now my daughter,” she shouted, eyes blazing with
fury. “You didn’t even have the decency
to kill me, like you did that other Janeway,” she shrieked. “You should have when you had the chance!”
she hollered, face beet red, all the veins sticking out on her throat. “I bet she didn’t tell you that, did she
Naomi? She’s a murderer,” Kathryn
started to pace. “She killed that
Janeway. That’s why she was so fucked
up when she came back through the spatial rift. She shot her—put her out of her misery. She’d like to kill me, too.
She told me she would, if I ever hit Seven again,” Kathryn babbled. “Your wife wants to kill me, Naomi. And she’s sleeping with Seven.”
Naomi
shook her head. “K-Mom, none of that is
true. Kieran and Seven have never been
lovers. Kieran never killed anyone. And she certainly hasn’t taken me away from
you. Your brain is playing tricks on
you.”
Kathryn
pressed her angry face against the glass.
“You never told her the truth, did you?” she demanded of Kieran. “The great, wise Counselor, bastion of
honesty, advocate of self-revelation.
You never told her you killed that other Janeway,” she accused. “What else haven’t you told her, Kato? Nothing about the romps in the Cargo Bay with
a certain Borg, I’m sure,” she sneered.
“Okay,
I’ve had enough,” Naomi keyed the screen and it became opaque. “I tried.
Let’s go,” she took Kieran’s hand and led her out of the mental ward.
“Are you
okay, honey?” Kieran squeezed Naomi’s fingers in her own, following her out of
the building.
“Yeah, I’m
fine. God, she’s a mess,” she
breathed. “I’ve never seen anyone who
was delusional before,” she realized.
She laughed abrasively. “As if
you and Seven would hork in the Cargo Bay,” she muttered.
Kieran
smiled. “The only sex going on in the
Cargo Bay was the sex I had with you, while we were waiting for our quarters to
be built,” she assured her wife.
Naomi
smiled faintly. “That cot was the most
uncomfortable thing. But we had some
great times on it,” she admitted. “What
was all that nonsense about some other Janeway you killed?” Naomi snorted. “I mean, with the delusions about Seven, at
least there’s some basis for her to remotely think that,” she pointed out.
Kieran
spotted a cement bench on the path, and led Naomi over to it. “Sit with me, a minute, sweetie,” Kieran
tugged her down on the bench. “That’s
not a delusion, Naomi. I never told
you, because frankly, it just never came up.
When I was spatially displaced, there was a dimension I went to—the last
one, I think,” she struggled to retrieve the memories. “That Voyager was in horrible shape. Chakotay had engineered a mutiny to
overthrow Janeway, and that Kieran Thompson sided with him.”
“Wait—that’s
the dimension where I was killed, right?
In the mutiny?” Naomi recalled what little Kieran had told her about it.
“Right. Seven was killed, as well, and that Janeway
had been in the brig for over two years when I arrived. She was a full blown schizophrenic, ten
times worse than your mother is right now,” Kieran explained. “When I left that dimension, I couldn’t take
her with me, though I wanted to. You
probably understand it better than I do, but if I had brought her back with me,
to our Voyager, it would have killed us all.”
“Mutual
annihilation principle,” Naomi stated.
“Your options were to leave her there, or annihilate both worlds.”
“That’s
right,” Kieran nodded. “She begged me
to put her out of her misery. She
refused treatment, because apparently, madness was preferable to reality,” she
recalled.
“I can
understand that—my hallucinations were preferable to a reality without you in
it,” she smiled at her wife.
“Understand,
Naomi—that Janeway was so far gone, and she was suffering so much. I watched Cassidy die such a horrible death,
and ever since then, I’ve always believed that if someone wants to die, they
should have the choice. That Janeway
wanted to die.”
Naomi
hugged Kieran briefly. “I know you went
through hell when Cassidy was sick,” she said sympathetically.
Kieran
sighed. “So having determined there was
no other solution, and not being able to stand seeing Kathryn suffering so
much, I lied to Chakotay, told him our dimension had a better grasp on
countering the mutual annihilation principle, and I took Kathryn with me. The Doctor gave her thoraprovaline, so that
she would be free of the schizophrenia symptoms long enough for me to be sure
she understood she was choosing to die, and doing so consciously. And I killed her in the spatial corridor and
beamed her into space.”
“Why did
you kill her, instead of letting her kill herself?” Naomi wondered.
“I was too
afraid to give her the phaser. I was
afraid she’d kill me. After all, I’d
spent days watching her raging and ranting and she’d threatened me more than
once. I couldn’t risk it.”
“And
that’s why when you came back to us, you were such an emotional wreck,” Naomi
stated. “You couldn’t forgive
yourself,” she realized. “I thought it
was just spatial psychosis,” she said softly.
Kieran
hung her head. “I wish that’s all it
had been,” she admitted. “That’s why
Seven was so important to me, to my recovery—if anyone understands what it’s
like to have to live with yourself after you’ve done unspeakable things, it’s a
former Borg,” she said ruefully. “And
of course, I didn’t tell you because you were just a kid—in fact, I don’t think
I even told B'Elanna. Only your Moms
know. And we kept it out of the logs,
to protect me. Kathryn seemed to think
that if it ever got out, Starfleet would chalk it up to spatial psychosis, but
we didn’t want to take any chances. So
there it is, Na,” she exhaled tiredly.
“I’m a cold-blooded killer.”
Naomi
processed the information, mulling it over.
“Knowing my mother as well as I do, I can’t imagine how she could
survive being locked up for two solid years.
Or how she could mentally cope with losing her command.”
Kieran
nodded. “And I had betrayed her, much
worse than I did with your mother in this dimension. I helped Chakotay and B'Elanna mount a mutiny. And it got Seven and you killed. That Kieran Thompson was suicidal in her
logs, she was so fraught with guilt and regret. The really sick thing is that she was married to B'Elanna, and
B'Elanna told her if she didn’t join the mutineers, she’d leave her. After Kieran did exactly what B'Elanna
asked, B'Elanna left her anyway. She
took up with Chakotay, and they had a kid together.”
Naomi
studied her patiently. “Do you realize
what you just said?”
Kieran
shook her head.
“When you
were just telling me about it—you lapsed into saying ‘I’ – you said ‘I had
betrayed her’ and ‘I helped Chakotay’.
Even now, Kieran, it’s like those events are so jumbled in your head,
you’re not sure if it was you who did those things, or some other Kieran,” she
pointed out. “And you’re not psychotic now.
I can’t imagine the state of mind you must have been in, shuffled
between worlds and fighting psychosis, and confused over your identity. Yet you still haven’t forgiven yourself,”
she wrapped her arm around her wife’s waist.
“You still think of yourself as a murderer. But I don’t see what you did as being any different than
disconnecting my mother from life support.”
Kieran’s
dark brown eyes were pained as they met Naomi’s lovely hazel eyes, yearning for
absolution. “You don’t?”
Naomi
touched her face tenderly. “No, my
beloved, I don’t,” she leaned closer and kissed Kieran soundly.
“And you
still love me?” Kieran sounded so small.
“Always,
and Only You,” Naomi assured her.
Kieran
hugged her tightly, breathing the wonderful scent of her body. “I don’t deserve you, Naomi. But I’m so grateful that I have you,” she
murmured, nuzzling her throat. “Are you
okay? I know seeing Kathryn had to shake you up,” she cradled Naomi’s silvering
strawberry blonde tresses in her palm, cherishing the feeling of her closeness.
“I’m
okay. But I’d really like to go back to
the hotel and connect with you,” she admitted.
“I need to feel us solidly together,” she said softly. “You ground me, Kieran. Our love grounds me. Sometimes, when the world is too much, I
have to surround myself with us, just like on Qian.”
“Oh, my
love,” Kieran felt the tenderness welling in her chest. “I need that, just as much as you do. I love you so, Naomi,” she vowed, holding
tightly to her. “Let’s go,” she stood
from the bench, taking Naomi with her, never letting go for an instant.
__________________
Alecia
Curtis drew Kieran Wildman into a firm hug, welcoming her to their
quarters. “You look like you’re holding
up, in spite of everything, Counselor,” she smiled warmly at Kieran. “The wedding was lovely.”
Kieran
hugged her back. “I’m glad you and
Jonah and the kids could make it. It
meant a lot to Naomi to have Tessie there.
How are the kids adjusting to life on Earth?”
Alecia led
her inside, offering her a seat. “I
think as well as we are,” she laughed.
“Tessie loves the school she’s in, and Jamari—well, he’s an adolescent
boy, so you can imagine.”
“That
bad?” Kieran grinned.
“With
everything you’ve had on your plate,” Alecia added, “we didn’t really expect
you to have time to accompany him for his intake session at Starfleet.”
Kieran’s
face sobered. “Alecia, of course I’m
going to be here. This is a critical
step for his recovery, and I love him.
Just because the mission is over doesn’t mean my obligation is
fulfilled. If he’s having a rough time,
I expect to hear about it. Understood?”
Protocol
was ingrained in the Curtis family, and without realizing it, Alecia stiffened
and replied “Yes, Sir.”
Kieran
burst out laughing. “I’m not your
superior officer,” she pointed out.
“I’m just your son’s counselor.”
“You are a
commander in Starfleet,” Alecia replied.
“That means something, in my house.”
“Well,
thanks, but you never have to call me anything but Kieran. Where’s Jamari?” she smiled.
“Should be
here any minute. He knows I’ll skin him
if he’s late,” she checked the chronometer.
“Who is his new therapist?”
Kieran
smiled warmly. “A really old friend of
mine, Robin Lefler. Apparently, child
abuse is one of her specialty areas.
She and I served together on Enterprise when I was first out of the
Academy.”
“I hope
she’s good,” Alecia sounded concerned.
“We really wish you could keep treating him, but we know you can’t,” she
amended.
“If you
want to travel to Indiana once every couple of weeks, I certainly will,” Kieran
offered, “but I really think Robin is a better bet. I’m going to be gone a lot, and although I’d do my best, Jamari
probably needs to see someone more often than that.”
Alecia nodded. “I agree.
He’s withdrawn and sullen, a lot,” she added. “He was doing better when he could see you frequently.”
Jamari
burst through the door just then, swooping down on Kieran for a hug. “KT!” he launched himself into her
arms. “I’ve missed you so much,” he
held tightly to her.
She
stroked the long mane of hair growing in reddish tufts down the back of his
neck. “Sweetie, I’ve missed you,
too. The woman I’m taking you to meet
is going to love you, and you’re going to adore her,” she promised.
“Is she as
pretty as you?” he asked, smiling up at her.
“Oh, much
prettier,” Kieran assured him. “In
fact, I was engaged to her a long, long time ago.”
“Really?”
he breathed pure awe. “Is she as pretty
as Naomi?”
“No one is
as pretty as Naomi,” Kieran asserted, grinning. “But she’s a very sweet woman.
And I know you’ll get along famously.
Are you ready to go?”
Alecia
nodded that she was prepared. Jamari
agreed too. “Okay. But KT, can I still see you, sometimes?”
“Honey,
you can see me socially whenever you want.
I just think professionally, a change is in your best interest. Did your folks tell you that Naomi is sick?”
she asked gently.
“Yes,” he
replied, troubled. “Really sick, they
said.”
Kieran
took his hand and they walked along the footpaths of Starfleet headquarters
toward the campus. “She is very sick,
Jamari. And I need to take care of
her. Can you understand that, and
forgive me?”
He
nodded. “Of course I can. She’s your wife, now. And she needs you a lot worse than I do.”
Kieran
squeezed his fingers in her own. “She
does, sweetie.”
Alecia
tried to hide how sorry she was, but her eyes showed her sympathy. “How is she doing, Kieran?”
Kieran
sighed. “Not good, I’m afraid. She’s aging a lot faster than the Doctors
said she would. They thought she could
survive four or five years, but I’m guessing two, at best. You’d be shocked if you saw her,
Alecia. Her appearance is changing
every single day. Pulaski places her
age in her forties, now— a decade older than me. And like before, she has good days and bad days, and really bad
days. Today, she’s medicated and
sleeping at the suites. It’s very
frustrating to watch.” She gathered her
composure and breathed deeply. “Jamari,
that building up ahead is the Counseling Center. That’s where your new therapist’s office is. Her name is Robin Lefler. She’s a Lieutenant Commander,” she
explained.
They
ambled along the greenbelt-lined path in the heat of July, making their way
toward their destination. Inside, the
corridors were dark and cool, and the turbolift was standing open. “Deck four,” Kieran ordered the lift. It didn’t move. “Sorry, fourth floor,” she amended. “I forget, sometimes, I’m not on a ship,” she chuckled.
Robin
Lefler was waiting for the threesome, seated behind her desk and looking pretty
as ever. Jamari did a double take when
he looked at her. Kieran hid her
satisfied grin behind her hand.
“Robbie,”
she held out her hands for her old friend.
“I didn’t expect to see you again so soon, but here we are,” she smiled,
kissing her cheek. “This is Alecia
Curtis and her son, Jamari Schwama.
Jamari is the only Creoheem male to ever visit Earth,” she added, making
him sound important.
“Hi
Alecia,” she smiled at the woman, then turned to her new patient. “Hello, Jamari,” Robin shook his hand,
winning him over immediately with her perfect smile. “I’m honored to meet a representative of the Creoheem people. I’m Robin.
My friends call me Robbie.
Please, everyone, have a seat.”
_________________
Seven of
Nine stretched languidly in the Florida sunshine, hiding her eyes behind dark
sunglasses, trying to convince herself to stop staring at Kieran Wildman’s body
as the Commander strolled along the shoreline.
Kieran took Naomi’s hand, pointed out across the ocean at something,
smiled at her wife, and kissed her gently.
Seven closed her eyes, willing away the fervent wish that Kieran had
been kissing her, instead.
She hated
that seeing Naomi and Kieran together conflicted her so deeply. On one hand, she felt a deep satisfaction,
knowing her daughter was loved and cared for, but on the other hand, Kieran
affected her so profoundly, it pained her to see them happy together. Seven tried to tell herself it was the bacteria. She tried to excuse herself for her
deplorable behavior and her blatant attraction to her daughter-in-law. But she found her emotions in a terrible
tangle, most of the time, and she could only hope she wasn’t completely
transparent. More than anything, she
hoped Naomi could not tell how she felt.
She
watched the newlyweds thundering through the breaking waves, saw Kieran tugging
Naomi down with her, so that she was floating on her back and Naomi was
supported on her body, as if Kieran were a surf board. Naomi was aging so quickly, but Seven
realized that Kieran never let on that she noticed. Kieran treated Naomi as if she were the most precious treasure in
the known quadrants, her demeanor worshipful and respectful and doting. Naomi clearly felt beautiful, because Kieran
made her feel it. Seven sighed, noting
the loss of muscle tone in Naomi’s body, the age lines appearing in her face,
the encroaching streaks of gray in her hair.
Kieran was
smiling up at Naomi, laughing at something she had said, letting Naomi kiss her
repeatedly. Kieran’s hair was slicked
back, her face exuberant and shining, her lips full and pink against flashing
white teeth. She was all muscle and
grace, tanning to a deep bronze, powerful arms supporting Naomi’s frail body in
the pounding surf. Naomi rolled off of
Kieran’s body, treading water, taking her wife’s hands and pulling her
close. They kissed sweetly for long
moments, unable to get their fill of one another. Seven didn’t believe she and Kathryn had ever been that much in
love.
She
remembered the early phases of their relationship, when she knew nothing about
romantic love, and made all sorts of wrong assumptions about premarital
abstinence and propriety. Kathryn had
found her ignorance endearing. Their
own honeymoon had been a festival of carnal delight, with so much to learn and
so many new experiences to enjoy. But
rarely since then had they found the uninterrupted time for such
indulgence. Kathryn had had a ship to
run. The Delta Quadrant had broken
their relationship on more than one occasion, and now the bacteria they
encountered there had destroyed it.
Seven sighed, resting her head on her arms. She could only endure watching Kieran be happy for short intervals,
before the feeling of despair hit her.
She closed
her eyes against the pain, thinking of the night Kathryn was committed, how
Kieran had cried over Seven’s abuse, how tenderly she had mended Seven’s
injuries, how possessively she had insisted Seven come away with her and
Naomi. Kieran’s hands had been so warm,
so gentle, treating the wounds. Seven
shivered as she recalled that Kieran had had to part her buttocks to mend the
anal fissure, and how delicate Kieran’s touch had been. The memory was too much, and Seven launched
herself from the blanket, charging down the beach and into the cooling
water. She had seen Kieran swim this
way on more than one occasion, churning through the punishing waves, taking out
her frustration against the surging tide.
If this obsession continued, she would have to avoid Kieran
altogether. And how would she explain
that to Naomi?
_________________
Naomi
Wildman floated above her wife, resting against Kieran’s body in the surf,
kissing the taller, stronger woman intermittently. She grinned at her.
“Salty,” she commented.
“It’s the
ocean, what did you expect?” Kieran held Naomi’s waist in her hands, steadying
them both.
Seven swam
by them at a breakneck pace, churning through the tide.
Naomi
sighed. “I think it hurts her to see us
so happy,” she noted. “I’m not sure if
it’s because she misses Kathryn, or because she’s just generally lonely.”
“Should we
tone it down, around her?” Kieran hoped not.
The last thing she wanted to do was spend what could be her final days
with Naomi, guarding her behavior.
“I can’t,”
Naomi asserted. “I won’t. If we had forever, that would be one thing,
but we don’t,” she leaned down and kissed Kieran fervently. “I need this time with you, Kieran, and I
can’t spend it editing myself.”
“That’s
exactly what I was thinking, love,” Kieran replied over the sound of the
breaking waves. “Florida seems so good
for you,” she noted. “Whenever we’re
here, you seem healthier.”
Naomi
smiled warmly. “That’s only because I
love to be in the ocean, and I love swimming with you, so I feel better. The water makes me hurt less.”
“Baby,”
Kieran hugged her closer, “if you’re hurting, you have to tell me. There’s a hot tub over at the recreation
center, and Dad has a key—we can go after hours, if you want privacy. And my hands are always at your disposal, if
you need a massage. Let me take care of
you, Na. It’s my job,” she insisted.
Naomi
touched Kieran’s face. “I love how you
take care of me, but it seems so unfair to put you through this all over
again,” she admitted. “I’m so sorry,
Kieran.”
“Did I
complain, ever?” she demanded. “I did
not. And I won’t. I seem to recall a certain Ktarian who read
me the riot act on Voyager for trying to protect her, for diminishing her value
and equality in my life by doing so. It
goes both ways, Naomi. You have to let
me be strong for you, because you need me to be. Don’t shut me out. Let me
be what you need, honey,” she urged.
Naomi
closed her eyes, resting her head on Kieran’s chest, relaxing into her
body. “Okay, you asked for it. Today, my hips are the worst. The weightlessness of the water helps a lot,
but walking is excruciating.”
Kieran
kissed the top of her head. “Then I’ll
carry you. You hardly weigh anything,
anyway,” she said softly, tightening her arms around her wife’s wasting body. “Kate said we should medicate you when
you’re uncomfortable, too. Why aren’t
you asking for a hypospray?” Kieran lifted Naomi’s chin to meet her eyes.
“Because
the medication knocks me out, and I sleep for hours and hours,” Naomi
protested. “I don’t want to sleep
through what’s left of my life. If I’m
sleeping, we can’t make love, or talk, or anything.”
“I always
hold you while you sleep,” Kieran reminded her.
“I know,
but I want to be with you mentally, as well as physically, and not just be in a
stupor,” Naomi argued.
“Maybe we
should try taking the dosage down a little—it might take the edge off the pain,
but not wipe you out,” she suggested.
Naomi
shook her head. “I already tried
that. It didn’t work. The only way to get relief is to be
unconscious, when it’s as bad as it is today.
So let’s talk about something else.
It helps me if I distract myself from thinking about it.”
Kieran
tried hard to think of something to tell Naomi. “Did I mention B'Elanna and Noah are trying to get pregnant?” she
grinned.
Naomi’s
eyes widened, and she dunked Kieran into the surf. “No, you did not,” she scolded.
“Tell me everything,” she demanded.
Kieran
came up laughing, spitting salt water.
“I can’t dish the dirt if you drown me, honey,” she accused. Kieran told Naomi the entire story of how
Noah asked Kieran to teach him to claim B'Elanna, and that the night Kieran and
Seven had gone to Noah and B'Elanna’s room at the suites, he had been sporting
a ritual mating wound. “He told me B'Elanna
went off birth control, and they’re letting nature do its magic,” Kieran
reported. “Katie is going to have a
little brother or sister,” she glowed.
Naomi
stared at her wife, disbelieving. “You
actually taught Noah the mating ritual?”
Kieran
nodded. “Yeah, it’s really not
complicated.”
Naomi’s
eyes narrowed. “Show me,” she demanded.
Kieran
chuckled. “Okay. Stand up,” she eased Naomi off of her
frame. “I don’t think I can show you in
the water, it’ll have to be on land,” she decided, scooping Naomi into her arms
and trudging up the sloping sand. She
carried the slight Ktarian to their beach blanket, settled her on a towel, and
dried herself off. She sat beside
Naomi, and took her hand, bending her wrist back. “If you were a Klingon, I’d have done that very, very roughly,”
she explained. She showed Naomi the
ritual scenting behavior, and explained how the first blood is drawn.
Naomi
watched in fascination, trying to picture B'Elanna and Noah doing the same
things, or even more unbelievably, Kieran and B'Elanna. Kieran completed the demonstration by biting
Naomi’s throat softly, then kissing away the faint red mark her teeth
made. “Why did you have two scars?” she
wanted to know.
Kieran
grinned sheepishly. “When your mother
abducted me to Ordan,” she explained, “she told me you were in love with me,
and how jealous you were of B'Elanna and I.
And I got so upset over it, I treated B'Elanna very badly. I was distant with her, I stopped sleeping
with her, because I felt guilty about how you felt, and I didn’t want to hurt
you. It’s a huge insult to neglect a
Klingon, sexually, and when I had finally settled things with you, I had to go
back to B'Elanna and repeat the claiming ritual. I had hurt our union so badly, the second marking was necessary
to re-establish the bond between us.”
“That
second scar was because of me?” Naomi asked sadly.
“Not
really. It was because of me,” Kieran
contended. “My inconsiderate behavior.”
She wrapped her arm around Naomi’s shoulders. “It wasn’t a big deal.”
Naomi
shuddered. “It looked like a pretty big
deal to me. Those marks were horrid,”
she closed her eyes. “Didn’t having her
bite you like that hurt?”
Kieran
shrugged. “Like I told you that night
in sickbay. It’s not a physical
reaction—it’s emotional. It’s
like—being joined to you, by Sieken.
There were things in your psyche that were very, very hard to deal with,
but it wasn’t physically painful, per se.
At least not to me. Kathryn,
however, was violently ill after she joined with you. I don’t know what you showed her, exactly, but she was still
hurling when Seven hailed me to come after you,” she laughed darkly.
“I showed
her what it was like to love you all those years, and be without you,” Naomi
rested her hand on Kieran’s thigh. “I
showed her all the self-loathing you felt, for loving me. I showed her how you starved yourself for
me, denied yourself for her, and just generally made yourself miserable trying
to do the ‘right’ things,” she explained.
“It should have made her sick, because it was her demands that caused you
such pain,” she said defensively.
Kieran
gazed lovingly at her wife. “Come
here,” she said hoarsely, pulling Naomi into her lap. “Do you have any idea how much I love you, Wildwoman?” she
pressed her lips against Naomi’s graying tresses. Kieran smiled to herself, thinking of Cassidy Thompson. “It goes clear around the world, Na,” she
whispered.
The
newlywed lovers sat together silently for most of the afternoon, Naomi dozing
off in Kieran’s warm embrace. Seven of
Nine had spent her frustration in the pounding surf, and came back exhausted,
but under control. She joined Kieran
and Naomi, digging into their cooler for fruit salad and drinks.
“Have
either of you eaten anything since breakfast?” she asked imperiously, knowing
the answer already.
Kieran
shook her head. “I’m fine though. And I’d just as soon let Naomi sleep, your
Borgness.”
“I’m
awake,” Naomi protested. “And I’d love
some fruit salad,” she yawned and stretched, easing out of Kieran’s lap.
Seven
handed her a bowl, smirking at Kieran.
“You’d let her starve,” she accused.
“Actually,
if you two can keep yourselves entertained, I’ll bring you back something
you’ll like almost as much as fruit,” Kieran promised.
Naomi
looked up her spouse. “Wait, I’ll go
with you. Let me just finish this,” she
dug into the salad.
Kieran scowled. “You just got done
telling me how it hurts to walk, today, Na.
Why would you want to go with me?”
Naomi
grinned provocatively. “If you think
I’m letting you wander around looking all tan and sexy, with all these gorgeous
women ogling you, you’ve got another think coming, Kieran Wildman,” she teased.
“There are
women ogling me?” Kieran pretended to scan the beach with interest. “Where?
Hey!” she shouted. “Where are
all the gorgeous women?” she called out.
“God, shut
up!” Naomi shoved her, laughing “You
nimrod,” she giggled.
Seven
actually laughed out loud. “You two are
too much,” she fanned her cheeks, still chuckling.
“Done?”
Kieran eyed the empty bowl.
“Yep. Let’s go,” Naomi waited for Kieran to hoist
her off the blanket by one hand. She
slipped her fingers into Kieran’s, pacing herself to keep up despite the ache
in her joints. “So what are we going to
get?”
“Snow,”
Kieran replied.
“In
Florida, in July?” Naomi raised an eyebrow.
“Yes, Ma’am,”
Kieran agreed. She spied a couple of
bikini-clad women looking her over.
“Shit, you’re right,” she teased her wife. “There are gorgeous women ogling me,” she inclined her head in
their direction.
Naomi
glared at the two voluptuous women, but it didn’t stop them from coming over to
the couple.
The taller
of the two, a raven-haired beauty, tucked a volleyball under her arm and held
out her hand. “Kieran Thompson?” she
asked.
“It’s
Kieran Wildman, now,” Kieran replied, not smiling.
“You don’t
recognize me, do you?” the dark-haired woman smiled mischievously.
“I’m
sorry, I don’t. Should I?” Kieran
asked, confused.
The
dark-haired woman nudged her companion.
“She doesn’t recognize you either, Teresa,” she smirked. “Kieran, for God’s sake,” the woman lifted
her sunglasses. “Have I aged that
badly? It’s Jenna. Jenna Borders,” she laughed, grabbing
Kieran’s hand.
Kieran’s
eyes went wide. “Holy shit, I would’ve
never recognized you, Jenna,” she grabbed the woman and hugged her. “Look at you,” she shook her head. “Have you aged badly? You haven’t aged at all. What are you doing with yourself, these
days?”
Jenna
grinned. “Teresa and I run a modeling
agency. She’s the photographer, I’m the
director. After I quit modeling myself,
I bought the studio. Is this your Mom?”
she nodded at Naomi.
Kieran’s
face fell. “This is Naomi Wildman, my
wife,” Kieran explained, wishing Naomi had not heard. “Are you and Teresa--?”
“Married,”
Jenna agreed. “For eight years,” she
smiled warmly at her spouse. “Two
kids,” she reported.
Kieran
kissed Teresa’s cheek.
“Congratulations, both of you.
It’s great to see you again.”
“KT,”
Teresa smiled, “we should get together, have a margarita and some clams
strips. We’d love to hear all about the
Delta Quadrant.”
“That’d be
fun, but Naomi and I are on our honeymoon, so we’re a little busy. Maybe some other time. My folks still live on the preserve,” Kieran
explained. “They know how to reach me,
if you’re inclined,” she offered.
“I’ll
contact them, then,” Jenna agreed.
“Naomi, it was nice to meet you,” she added. “Come on, honey, let’s go scare up a game,” she tossed her spouse
the ball. “See you around,” she called
behind her.
Naomi was
painfully silent as the women sauntered away.
“That’s the Jenna, your first lover?”
Kieran
nodded. “She was just a plain looking
jock, in high school,” she was stunned at the transformation of her
ex-lover. “How was I supposed to
recognize her, when she’s had her nose, her lips, and her face done?” she
laughed.
“She
thought I was your mother,” Naomi resumed their walk. “God, do I look that old?”
“Hardly,”
Kieran assured her. “You look to be
about my age,” she offered.
“Liar,”
Naomi accused. “But thanks. Now I know how you must have felt on
Voyager, when we would go out in public and people would stare at us, because
they thought you were too old for me.
Only now the tables are turned.
I look like I’m a child molester.
Maybe we shouldn’t touch each other in public.”
Kieran
stopped, bringing Naomi around to face her.
“I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks, Naomi. I love you, and I want to be with you. I won’t stop touching you, and I couldn’t be
more attracted to you,” she closed the distance between them, kissing her wife
tenderly. She grabbed Naomi’s hand and
pressed it against the left side of her chest.
“Feel that?” she demanded.
Naomi
gazed up at her beloved, feeling the thundering of her heart. She nodded.
“That’s
how much you excite me,” she promised, kissing her soundly again. She lingered over the sensation, thinking
she would give anything to make Naomi feel secure again.
When they
parted, Naomi slid her arms around Kieran’s neck. “Okay. You were going to
show me snow,” she said.
Kieran
grinned. “Let’s go. It’s right over here.”
Naomi laughed
out loud. Snow was nothing more than an
Italian Ice sold at the beach.
_________________
Kieran’s
father was monitoring her nitrogen, oxygen, and carbon dioxide levels as they
descended through the darkening sea. He
gave her the thumbs up, and she checked his levels, in turn. They dove further down, just gaining sight
of the sunken ship, and the myriad of fish and corals and plants growing on
it. The ship was deep enough that the
organisms that relied on sunlight were unlikely to thrive in the bowels of the
reef, but there was still an amazing array of sights to see. Kieran had never been down this deep, and it
felt good to be doing something alone with her father.
They
explored the interior of the old ship, using wrist lamps to illuminate the
bulkheads and corridors, making mental notes of the creatures that could
survive at this level. Hammerhead
sharks prowled about, and Kieran was captivated by the silhouettes they made as
they passed overhead. She loved this
world, the solitude and quiet of it, the disorienting quality of it. It was so easy to lose your sense of
direction. Up looked like down, when
you could see almost no light. She
reached out momentarily and grabbed her father’s hand, just to be sure of him.
He
squeezed her fingers in his, understanding that she was just feeling the beauty
of the place, and feeling vulnerable, and wanting the protection of her
father. They stayed until they had just
enough time on their rebreather units to make a safe ascent, and they started
to swim for the opening of the ship.
Kieran was looking at an old anchor, admiring it, when it suddenly
shifted and trapped her leg between it and the bulkhead of the ship. She would’ve laughed, if it wouldn’t have
choked her. Her Dad was already outside
the artificial reef, and she was trying to get his attention by blinking her
wrist lamp. He swam back a few seconds
later, gave her a look that said “no problem,” and started tugging the anchor. He couldn’t budge it.
The two of
them tugged, yanked, pushed and pulled, and still, Kieran’s leg was
pinned. Gerry dug in his pack for a
laser tool, but he couldn’t get it to activate. Kieran took it from him and jimmied the controls, and a laser
beam shot forth. She handed it to her
dad, who carefully dissected the damnable anchor, freeing her leg after a long,
arduous operation.
They were
almost out of time.
__________________
Naomi
watched the water anxiously for any sign of Kieran and Gerry. “They should’ve been back by now,” she said
to Violet. “Shouldn’t they?”
“If I know
Gerry, he’s playing a prank. He loves
to scare me,” she reassured the young Ktarian.
“Kieran is every bit as bad as he is,” she warned.
Naomi
laughed. “Don’t I know it? Some of the practical jokes she played on
Voyager drove my mother to drink, almost,” she recalled.
Seven
smirked. “Almost? Kathryn drank like a sailor,” she said
honestly. “Swore like one, too.”
“So does
KT,” Naomi howled, forgetting her worry for a moment.
Violet
looked shocked. “My daughter? She has a foul mouth?”
Seven
actually laughed out loud that Violet could be so naive. “I learned my most
creative cussing from her,” she noted.
They
waited a bit longer, trying not to overreact, but the time had most certainly
expired on their rebreathers.
Violet checked
the onboard chronometer. “I’m calling
for help,” she decided. She sent a
message to the Coast Guard, and got an immediate response.
“Doctor
Thompson,” the young Commander smiled at the familiar face. “How can I assist you?”
“I need a
medical transport at these coordinates,” she punched in the code. “Most likely, decompression syndrome,” she
said grimly.
“Understood. I’m sending life flight right now,
Ma’am. Is Gerry down there?”
“Yes, with
my daughter,” she informed him.
He closed
his eyes. He had gone to high school
with Kieran Thompson. “ETA is
forty-five seconds, Vi. Hang in
there. I’ll be in touch,” he assured
her.
Gerry
breached the surface as she severed the link.
“Vi!” he shouted. “Call for life
flight!” he dragged Kieran to the ladder over the side of the boat. “Help me get her in the boat,” he panted.
Kieran was
doubled over. “I can’t feel my legs,”
she gasped, clearly in excruciating pain.
Seven and
Violet forcibly dragged her over the side of the boat with Gerry pushing from
beneath her.
“Hang on,
honey,” Violet soothed her forehead.
“Lifeflight will be here any second.”
“Damn,
Na,” Kieran groaned, taking her hand and squeezing it so hard the bones nearly
fractured. “You really are
clairvoyant,” she grimaced, trying to get oxygen into her starved cells.
Seven
quirked an eyebrow.
“I told
her this was going to happen,” Naomi shook her head.
“How does
it turn out?” Gerry demanded, not a bit amused.
“I don’t
know,” Naomi admitted. She watched the
sun glinting off Kieran’s rings, and thought it was a bad omen.
_________________________
Kieran lay
inside a hyperbaric chamber, medicated for the unbearable pain caused by the
bends, and waiting to see if the unit could restore her blood gases to
normal. The bubbles in her blood could
cause an embolism at any time, and until they had all dissipated, there was no
guarantee she would survive.
“Na,” she
talked to her wife through an intercom, “you’d better contact Starfleet medical
and tell them about this accident. Find
out if Pulaski has any idea if this condition will make the bacterial infection
worse,” she instructed her.
Naomi
looked back over her shoulder. “Seven, can you do that for me?”
Seven
nodded, glad for the distraction.
“How are
you feeling, honey?” Naomi asked, her voice urgent and low.
“I still
can’t feel my legs,” she reported. “But
don’t worry, this will work, I know it will.
I have to be okay, because somebody has to keep you and Seven out of
trouble,” she teased.
“How long
does this treatment usually take?” Naomi tried to be patient.
“Hours,
sometimes. I’m sorry. From now on, when you get a premonition,
I’ll listen, Na,” Kieran pledged.
“It’s
okay, don’t apologize,” Naomi put her hands against the glass window. “I just wish I could touch you,” she said
more softly, so no one could hear but Kieran.
“I wish
you could play for me,” Kieran leaned her head against the pillow inside the
cylindrical chamber, sighing wistfully.
“I so love it,” she closed her eyes, feeling nauseated. “Oh, man,” she doubled over.
“What?”
Naomi stood up to look inside closer.
“What is it?”
Kieran
fought the urge to spill her lunch.
“Sick to my stomach, that’s all,” she explained. “This must be what you feel like—aching all
over, nauseous, cramping.”
“It’s like
that sometimes,” Naomi agreed. “But
other times, I feel fine. The bad
feelings don’t come with any warning, either.
It’s always so sudden.” Naomi
looked back at Seven. “Seven says
Pulaski has no idea if your accident will do anything to increase the bacterial
infection,” she reported. “But she
sends you her best. So does K-Mom,” she
added.
“Oh, I’ll
just bet,” Kieran bit the words off.
“She probably made a voodoo doll, and that’s why it feels like pins
sticking in me,” she groaned.
Naomi
managed a smile. “Hey—I’m sorry my
family has made you so miserable,” she said gently. “Yours is wonderful.”
Kieran
grimaced. “Your family is fine. It’s the damned bacteria that is making
everyone whacko,” she complained. “Has
Pulaski made any headway?”
Seven slipped
up beside Naomi. “Her first trials with
the antibodies she collected from Tom Paris were unsuccessful. They had no effect on Kathryn’s infection. Kathryn has still not mounted a defense of
her own, either,” Seven related the findings.
“Great,” Kieran
sounded disgusted. “You’d think with all the people working on the problem,
they’d have something, by now.”
Seven
debated the merits of telling her the rest of the news. “Kathryn is getting worse, according to Dr.
Pulaski,” she said softly.
“Worse?”
Kieran demanded. “How could she be any
worse?”
“They are
having to restrain her, now. The
bacteria is driving her mad with anger,” Seven explained. “Kate is conferencing regularly with the
Qianians. It appears that there is
something specific about being on Earth that is making the infection intensify,
which explains why her behavior deteriorated after we left space. The Qianians opine that their more oxygen
rich atmosphere controls the bacteria better, as does the atmosphere aboard the
ship, which is also more rich in oxygen than Earth’s atmosphere.”
“Na?”
Kieran said gently. “I need to talk to
Seven alone, for a second, okay?”
“Okay. I love you, KT.” Reluctantly, Naomi left her
post outside the chamber, joining her worried in-laws to confer on Kieran’s
treatment.
“You too,
sweetheart,” she assured her as she walked away. Kieran looked at Seven.
“What about your symptoms? Are
they worse now than before we came planet side?”
Seven
grinned. “Yes. I love you more than ever,” she teased, trying
for some levity.
“I’m
serious, Seven. Are you more acutely
aware of your feelings, now?” Kieran pressed her.
“Much more
so,” she confessed. “When we were on
Qian, and I realized what I was feeling, I could dismiss it, or at least, fight
it. Now I find myself staring openly at
you, I catch myself being completely inappropriate,” she detailed. “The day after your wedding, when you
undressed in front of me, I had to make myself turn away, and then I almost couldn’t. Yesterday at the beach, it was torment to
see you with Naomi. I’m sorry, Kieran,
I know this is embarrassing for you.
But you asked and I answered you honestly.”
“I
appreciate your candor, your Borgness,” she smiled at the gorgeous blonde. “What I can’t figure out is why B’Elanna isn’t
prowling for a different lover every night.
That would be consistent with the pattern, don’t you think?”
Seven
cocked her head to one side. “Perhaps
Noah is extraordinarily virile,” she offered.
“And B’Elanna has not yet had to exercise her tendencies to look
elsewhere.”
“Maybe,”
Kieran shrugged. “I just--awwwww shit,”
she doubled over again. “These pain
meds don’t work worth a fuck,” she bitched.
Seven
smirked. “Did you know your mother
thinks you don’t swear?”
Kieran
laughed out loud at that. “What rock
does she live under, anyway?” she chuckled.
“Apparently,
a rather large one that cannot conduct sound,” Seven quipped. “I told her I’ve learned my most colorful
language from you.”
“Oh,
thanks a lot,” Kieran gave her a dirty look.
“I’ll probably get my mouth washed out with soap, now,” she stuck her
tongue out at Seven.’
“Is that
an invitation?” Seven grinned, then slapped her hand over her mouth. “You see?
I am getting worse,” she covered her face in shame. “Blatant
flirtation,” she condemned herself with a melodramatic flair.
“You are
such a wise-ass,” Kieran laughed. “You
know, Seven, I haven’t told you, but if its any consolation at all, I couldn’t
be more flattered,” she pointed out.
“It’s not
any consolation,” Seven warned her. “I
wish it were. But I also think it would
be wise to note, what I’m feeling is probably just as exaggerated as Kathryn’s
anger. In an ordinary state, my
feelings would probably not be more than a mild attraction,” she tried to sound
snooty.
Kieran grinned
at her. “Thanks for the overwhelming
vote of support,” she teased. “Do you
think, if Pulaski finds a cure for this bug, you’ll be able to forgive Kathryn? Maybe enough to try with her?” Kieran asked.
Seven
puzzled over it. “Part of me says she
is not to blame, anymore than I am to blame for loving you. But another part of me says we are both
guilty because fundamentally, the emotions are there, and they are a real part
of us. I think I would be more inclined
to forgive Kathryn than she will be to forgive me. And no matter how much I try to convince her, she will probably
never believe that nothing happened between us.”
“I
know. She thinks we were sneaking off
to the Cargo Bay. Like that crappy cot
would be big enough to do any maneuvering,” she snickered.
“I would
have settled for the floor,” Seven said, slapping her hand over her mouth too
late to stop the words.
“You’re
incorrigible,” Kieran accused. “I like that in a woman,” she waggled her
eyebrows.
“Do not
flirt with me,” Seven snapped, no longer playful. She considered her outburst, then retreated. “I’m sorry.
I’m just a little sensitive,” she admitted.
“Don’t
apologize,” Kieran put her hand against the window. “I am being an ass. It’s
how I deal with everything—bad jokes and trying to hide my feelings.”
“Are you
hiding feelings from me?” Seven asked, her gut suddenly in knots.
“I am
trying to avoid saying anything that would hurt your feelings, yes,” Kieran
admitted. “But I am also not telling
you everything I feel, for fear you might misinterpret what I say,” she
confided.
“I would
like it very much if you neither tried to protect me, nor held anything back
from me,” Seven pleaded.
“Okay,”
Kieran agreed, gathering her thoughts.
“When I was spatially displaced, and I saw all those different
permutations of my lives,” she began, “I came back totally aware that I had
never, in any of those lives, been with you as a lover. I was startled by that. Weren’t you?”
“I did
think it was odd, considering,” Seven allowed.
“I was disappointed,”
Kieran admitted. “Part of me was really
hurt that in no instance did you ever love me,” she revealed herself.
Seven
smiled. “How do you know I was the one
who didn’t love you, and not vice versa?”
Kieran
pondered that for a minute. “Because I
think I knew in my heart that if you had ever said ‘I want you’, in any
universe where I wasn’t encumbered, I would have said ‘yes’ right back. Because I do love you, in many, many ways. And I had to conclude that in none of those
universes had you ever loved me. Let’s
face it, Seven,” she laid it on the line, “if you had approached me before
Kathryn was part of my life, I would have been helpless to refuse you. You are that prevailing, in my estimation,”
she said softly.
Seven’s
ice blue eyes warmed to a deep azure.
“That was a lovely thing to say,” she whispered. “I am sorry that for whatever reason, we
were never together in any of those places you went. I was disappointed, too, when you told me,” she agreed. “I kept thinking, how can I love this person
so much in this universe, yet not love her even more in others?”
“I know,”
Kieran said. “I thought the same
thing,” she smiled. “Can I ask you
something really personal?”
Seven
nodded, a bit uncertain.
“When you
were stranded with B’Elanna, on that asteroid,” she chose her words carefully,
“did you--have feelings for her?”
“Why do
you ask?” Seven was astonished at the thought.
“Because
she was so subdued when you returned, and I could have sworn she might have
fallen in love with you. Her energy
just wasn’t focused on us, not really.
And I always wondered if something might have happened, or if she just
wished it would have,” Kieran blushed, ashamed of the suspicion.
“I would
never do that to you,” Seven emphasized.
“Though we were very close, and the circumstances were quite dire. I believe she was having issues with your
continual absence, already, and that may have contributed to the distance you
felt from her. But nothing happened,
and if she wanted anything to, she never said so.” Seven considered. “In the interest of being as honest with you as
you are being with me, however,” she amended, “assimilation means that B'Elanna
and I became privy to each other's memories, thoughts, and psychological
processes. Although she never said
anything about how she felt, she did have feelings for me. But she didn't
act on them, or acknowledge them, even after it was clear we knew precisely
what the other was feeling and thinking.”
“Sort of
like when Sieken joined Naomi and I,” Kieran realized. “Except there were
things I held back.”
Seven's
eyebrow arched. “If you could hold things back, why did you let her see
your love for her?”
Kieran
sighed. “The experience took me by surprise, and before I could get a
handle on it, before I could get certain defenses in place, she had already
seen my heart. Believe me, Seven, if I
could have hidden it, I would have,” she assured the towering blonde. “Are you angry that I didn’t hide what I
felt?”
“Not
angry. Just selfishly wishing Naomi had
never found out. I’m sorry,” she
colored with shame. “As for B'Elanna
and I, you didn’t think anything had happened, did you?” she was alarmed.
Kieran
chuckled. “Not really, but I’m not
egotistical enough to think I could compete with you for anyone’s affections,
your Borgness,” she said frankly. “And
I would have understood completely if B’Elanna felt that way about you. Hell,
if I had been stranded with you, I’d have fallen for you,” she winked at the
blonde beauty. “Kathryn would have
killed you both, though,” she laughed.
Seven
smirked. “Kathryn had an overactive
imagination before this bacteria. I
shudder to think what it will be like if we find a cure,” she shook her head. She considered Kieran’s words at
length. “So if you had not fallen in
love with Naomi, and if Kathryn were not your best friend, you and I would
likely be together?”
Kieran
grinned. “That’s a lot of ‘ifs’, don’t you think?” She could see Seven was asking seriously,
and had the need to hear the truth.
“Yes, I think we would be.”
Seven
smiled, though sadly. “That helps. Thank you, Counselor.”
“Hey, it’s
not much, but it’s all I’ve got,” she replied.
“Send my wife back over here, before she thinks I’ve died,” she ordered
the Borg.
__________________
Kate
Pulaski finally hit upon a genetic variant of Tom Paris’ antibodies that had a
reasonable effect on the bacteria, albeit inside a Petri dish. She prepared the serum, thinking she would
give it to Kathryn first. However, when
she went to discuss it with her patient, it was clear that Janeway was such a
raving lunatic, consent was no longer possible. She contacted Gretchen Janeway, and Seven of Nine, and obtained
the proper consent from them.
Two
treatments later, Kathryn was more lucid than not, again.
Kieran had
survived her ordeal, and when the breakthrough was announced, Pulaski demanded
that everyone return to Starfleet Medical.
Kieran, Naomi, and Seven packed up their gear and headed for San
Francisco. They stood in line with the
other infected crewmembers from Voyager, everyone talking excitedly about the
hope for a cure.
Kathryn
Janeway stood at a distance, watching her family members interacting. Naomi and Kieran were holding hands, and in
her other arm, Kieran carried Katie Torres.
Seven was bouncing Geejay on her hip, and Gretchen had an arm around
Seven’s shoulders. Kathryn wanted to be
with them all, but her shame and guilt kept her from approaching.
Naomi
finally spotted the auburn-haired woman, shrinking into the backdrop of the
medical center. “K-Mom?” she murmured,
coming closer to see. “It is you!” she
ran for the Captain, grabbing her up in a vigorous hug. “You look so good, Mom,” she kissed her
cheek. “When did they release you?”
“This
morning,” Kathryn smiled warily. She
saw that Seven and Kieran had not moved to come any nearer to her, but her
mother was making her way across the atrium, prepared to sweep her up into a
hug.
Gretchen
took them both in a tight embrace. “I’m
so glad to see you, Kathryn,” she said sincerely.
“I guess
those two aren’t speaking to me?” she asked.
Naomi
slipped her hand into Kathryn’s. “Give
Seven time, Mom. She’s pretty shaken up
about what happened,” she said quietly.
“I think Kieran is pretty upset, too.
They are probably a little scared of you, right now.”
Kathryn
nodded, dry mouthed. “I can understand
that, I suppose. I imagine it brought back some pretty bad memories for Kieran,
especially,” she affirmed. “But I’m
feeling like myself, again,” she contended.
“I’ll keep my distance, if you think that’s best.”
“I think
for now, it would be wise,” Gretchen agreed.
“These things take time, Kathryn,” she counseled.
Kieran hid
her face in Katie’s soft brown curls, wishing she could disappear. She wished even more fervently that Naomi would
get the hell away from her mother, and keep a safe distance. But then Naomi hadn’t seen the extent of the
damage to Seven’s body, and Kieran had.
Finally,
Kieran handed Katie to B’Elanna. “I
can’t handle this, Seven,” she said in low tones. “I have to make sure there’s
a buffer between Kathryn and Naomi, in case she snaps,” she scurried over.
“Hello,
Kathryn,” Kieran greeted her, subtly manipulating Naomi’s body to put her out
of harm’s way. “You’re looking much
better than the last time I saw you.”
Kathryn
nodded. “I was sorry to hear about your
close call. You were lucky.”
“I was,”
she confirmed. “I don’t want to lose my
place in line, but I didn’t want to be rude, either,” she explained. “We’ll have to talk later,” she tugged Naomi
away, resuming their position in line.
She
breathed a sigh of relief as they were called to come into the lab.
__________________
“Kieran,”
Kate was saying, “I need to run a baseline scan on you before I can give you
the serum. I want to see if your diving
accident made the bacterial growth any worse.
Illness seems to make it even more opportunistic, from what I’ve seen,”
she explained.
She took
Kieran over to the biobed, and let her stretch out. “You know the drill. Lie
still.”
She ran
the scans, then went into her workstation displays to look them over. “This can’t be right,” she muttered,
refreshing the screen. Once again the
data cascade ran down the screen, and there was no bacteria visible. “Damn equipment must be on the fritz,” she
swore.
“I’m going
to run them again,” she announced, “so stay there,” she punched in commands
again. “Okay, let me calibrate my
instruments. Get Naomi in here,” she
said to her lab assistant. “I can use
her as the baseline.”
She
scanned Naomi, and the sensors were working just fine. She had the tech switch back to Kieran. “Oh my God, that’s it,” she smacked her
forehead. “That’s how we kill that
bastard!”
She ran to
the lab and grabbed the tall Counselor, dancing happily around her. “I figured it out! It’s anaerobic, and we have to kill it with oxygen. We need to put everyone in hyperbaric
treatment,” she hollered, still excited.
“Well? Get on the comm system
and find every God damned unit on the continent, and make arrangements,” she
barked at her staff. “Move!”
Kieran
grabbed her and hugged her ‘tll the stuffing almost came out. “You can save my wife?”
Pulaski
laughed with glee. “I think I can,” she
nodded.
____________________
The
Institutes of Oceanography, every major hospital in coastal states, the Navy,
and several universities arranged treatment sessions for the thirty-seven
crewmembers suffering from the Restidian bacteria. Kate Pulaski borrowed a unit
from the Scripps Institute, and it was transported by the Enterprise at her
request just so Naomi could receive treatment under Pulaski’s watchful eye.
Kieran
realized, with a great sense of relief, that she had been free of the bacteria
for several days, and nothing in her affect had changed regarding Naomi. She was still in love with the strawberry
blonde, and looking more forward to their future than ever. She hoped that meant Naomi’s feelings would
also stay intact, after her treatment.
“I’m going
to miss you terribly,” Naomi was saying as they stood in the lab, waiting for
the chamber to be ready.
“I’ll be
right here,” Kieran promised, kissing her deeply. “And look—I brought all your old favorites to help pass the
hours,” she opened a valise and revealed all sorts of books she had read to
Naomi as a child.
“You
didn’t,” Naomi breathed, sorting through them with an impish grin on her lovely
face. “Wait, I don’t remember this
one,” she pulled out a very tattered hard covered book. “Six Arms the Starfish,” she read the title.
“Dad sent
that one with me. I was going to read
it to Katie,” Kieran explained. “It’s
how I got my nickname from him,” she grinned.
“I want to
hear that one first,” Naomi decided.
She wrapped her arms around Kieran’s neck, sinking into her
embrace. “I love you so much. And now I can spend decades showing you,”
she kissed her beloved tenderly.
Kieran
swallowed hard. “I hope you still want
to, when this is all over with, Na.”
“We’re
ready for you, Ensign Wildman,” the technician advised her. “Anytime you’re ready.”
Naomi
kissed Kieran once more. “See you in a
few hours, love,” she whispered.
Kieran
held her for a long while. “I love you,
Naomi. And I love being your wife. These past weeks have been the happiest of
my life, in spite of everything. I just wanted you to know, honey,” she said
hoarsely.
Naomi
smiled. “Don’t worry, KT. It’s always been you for me. Always and only you.” She pulled away reluctantly, and climbed
into the coffin-shaped tube. The
technician sealed the hatch to the unit, tightening it down until the gasket
hissed.
Kieran
peered in through the window, watching Naomi lie down. She pressed her hand
against the glass, and Naomi pressed hers against the other side. “It will be okay, Kieran. Don’t look so scared,” she encouraged her
wife.
Kieran
blinked the moisture from her eyes and began to read.
“Once
upon a time, in the ocean so vast, and so blue, there lived a Starfish with six
arms. She was no ordinary Starfish by
any stretch of the imagination. Most Starfish have only five arms. But she was special, and she had six. And so they named her Six Arms.
Kieran
held up the book so Naomi could see the color graphic of Six Arms. Naomi smiled and nodded.
“Now
Six Arms lived near a clam bed, where her best friend, Sarah the Seahorse,
spent her days with her long, curly tail wrapped around the sea grass in the
ocean so vast, and so blue. Sarah knew that there was something different about
Six Arms, but she wasn’t quite sure what that difference was. She liked Six Arms very much, and they had
wonderful games in the coral, and told stories in the tide pools, and raced
each other on the backs of the sea whelks that stayed near the shallows of the
ocean so vast, and so blue.”
Kieran
glanced up from the book, seeing that Naomi was listening intently. She held up
the next plate, a drawing of Six Arms and Sarah. She smiled at Naomi, every ounce of love showing in her face, and
continued on.
“Six
Arms and Sarah met up with some other Starfish one day, Starfish that neither
had met before in the ocean so vast and so blue. Sarah looked at them one by one, and counted their Arms, and she
realized that they each had only five.
‘Six Arms,’ Sarah said, ‘I have never seen Starfish like these, with
only five arms.’
‘Ho,’
said the largest Starfish, ‘we have never seen a Starfish with more than five
arms, in all the ocean so vast and so blue.
All Starfish have five, not six. Why, she’s probably not a Starfish at
all,’ he crowed.
Sarah
puzzled and puzzled over what he had said.
‘Is it true?’ she asked her friend.
‘Do Starfish only have five arms?’
Six
Arms shook her head sadly. ‘How can it
be true, when I have six arms?’ she asked.
‘Please believe me Sarah,’ Six Arms begged her friend. ‘I know I’m a
Starfish.’
Sarah
wasn’t convinced. ‘Let’s ask the sea
whelks,’ she said. ‘For in all the
ocean so vast and so blue, they are the wisest of all the marine animals, next
to the Seahorses.’
Naomi chuckled at the conceited little
seahorse.
“Sarah
asked the sea whelks, but they said they only knew five armed Starfish.”
Kieran held up the book to show Naomi the
illustration of the seahorse talking to the sea whelks. Naomi grinned at her.
“The
parrot fish told Sarah that in all the ocean so vast and so blue, they too, had
only seen five armed Starfish.
Sarah
did not know what to think. The other animals were starting to talk about her
friend, saying Six Arms was no Starfish, and might even be a dreaded spiny
crab. Sarah knew that she must not go near a spiny crab, because spiny crabs in
the ocean so vast and so blue like to eat Seahorses.
Sarah
decided to tell Six Arms they could no longer be friends. When Six Arms came to the tide pools to play
that day, Sarah wrapped her tail around a sprig of sea grass, and broke the
news to Six Arms.
‘I am
not a spiny crab,’ Six Arms cried. ‘I am
your friend.’
But
Sarah would not be persuaded, and she sent Six Arms away to the ocean so vast
and so blue.
Kieran
held up the illustration, showing Six Arms slinking away, tears coming
out of her poor little Starfish eyes.
“Just
then, a hungry spiny crab came scuttling through the sea grass, searching the
tidal pools for Seahorses. He spotted
Sarah, and rushed toward her, brandishing his snapping claws.
Sarah cried out for her friend, Six Arms, to help her. Six Arms had not gotten far in the ocean so vast and so blue, because Starfish don’t move quickly. Six Arms floated into the tide pool, in between Sarah and the spiny crab.
‘Hold
on, Sarah,’ Six Arms cried out. ‘Hold
onto my spiny arms!’
Sarah
latched onto Six Arms, and made herself the color of Six Arms’ skin. The spiny crab couldn’t see her anymore, and
stood there scratching his head with one jagged claw.
‘Could’ve
sworn I saw a Seahorse,’ he muttered.
‘Have you seen a Seahorse, Starfish?’
‘Not
today, spiny crab,’ Six Arms insisted, giggling because Sarah was right there
in front of him. ‘ I think the Seahorses like the ocean so vast and so blue,
not the tide pools. Perhaps you should
look there,’ she pointed one of her spiny arms.
‘Thank
you Starfish. I will look there,’ the
spiny crab agreed, scuttling away.
Sarah
laughed as the spiny crab crawled along the ocean floor, still muttering to
himself.
‘I
think you are the best Starfish in all the ocean so vast and so blue,’ Sarah
told Six Arms. ‘A five armed Starfish
would not do at all, when one needs to hide a big Seahorse,’ she decided. ‘I’m
sorry I doubted you, Six Arms.’
Six
Arms only smiled. In all the ocean so
vast and so blue, never was there a happier Starfish.
Kieran
held up the last plate, showing the seahorse and Six Arms walking
together.
Naomi
pretended to clap her hands. “That was
sweet. How old were you when that was
your favorite book?”
Kieran
laughed. “Half your age, I imagine.”
“Funny. And why didn’t your dad call you Six Arms,
instead of Starfish?” she asked.
Kieran
shrugged. “Who knows? He should have
called me Seahorse, because I just love them,” she laughed. “They are so sweet and so delicate.”
“Can they
really camouflage themselves?” Naomi asked.
“A lot of
them can,” she grinned.
“Why didn’t
you decide to work with your parents, if you love marine life so much?” Naomi
asked, touching the small window.
“I don’t
know. I just always felt drawn to
space. Maybe because I wanted to be
able to communicate effectively with the species I meet, and that can’t happen
with manatees and seahorses. The
complexity of alien cultures fascinates me,” she explained. “Not that marine environments aren’t equally
complex, but we can only know so much about them, without language to exchange
ideas.”
Naomi listened
patiently. “I’m glad you picked
space. Otherwise, I’d have never met
you. You’d be running the manatee
project, and I’d be—who knows what I’d be.
Lonely, I suppose.”
“You know
what I said the other day about listening to your premonitions?” Kieran asked,
smiling at her beloved. “Well, I take
it back. If I hadn’t gotten the bends,
we’d have never known how to cure this infection, and I would have lost you. Remind me to always take risks, because they
pay off, sometimes.”
Naomi
nodded. “Okay. I’ll try to keep my paranoia to a minimum,”
she winked at Kieran.
____________________
Seven of
Nine finished her hyperbaric treatments in Corpus Christi, and immediately
beamed back to Starfleet. She found
Kieran sitting beside Naomi’s chamber, reading stories to her.
“Hey, your
Borgness,” Kieran smiled at the long-bodied Borg as she sauntered across the
room. “You don’t look any worse for the
wear,” she jumped up to hug her.
“How is
Naomi doing?”
Kieran
grinned. “She’s antsy, but she’ll get
by. I’m trying to entertain her.”
Seven
looked at Kieran with a hint of desperation in her eyes. “I need to speak with you alone,” she
insisted.
Kieran
excused herself and followed Seven outside the lab doors. “What’s wrong?” she grabbed the woman’s
hands, holding her in place.
Seven met
her eyes. “I cannot say it’s gone,
Kieran. What I felt for you, it’s still
there. It is not so consuming and
integral to my existence, but it is still there,” she thought about the
implications for herself. Then more
hopefully, she added “I suspect the
same will happen with Naomi.”
Kieran
wasn’t sure how to feel. “That bodes well for Naomi and I, but what about you?”
her heart pounded in her chest.
Seven
shook her head. “Do you trust me,
Kieran? I mean, really trust me?”
“Absolutely,
Seven, why?” Kieran studied her pained
expression, wishing she could make the towering Borg feel better.
“Then
please, indulge me for a moment,” she requested, taking Kieran’s face in her
hands. She kissed her then, softly,
slowly, lingering over the sensation.
She pulled away, gathered her thoughts and impressions, and nodded. “I am more in control of my feelings,” she
announced. “I no longer feel the
overwhelming pain and need. I had to
find out,” she said apologetically. “And
I will not burden you with my feelings ever again. I apologize for all the inappropriate remarks I have made, the
flirting, and especially, I apologize for kissing you.”
Kieran was
bewildered, both by Seven’s actions and by the thundering of her own heart. “I’m confused,” she tried to clear her
head. “What did you need to kiss me
for?”
Seven
averted her eyes. “Because before my
treatment, simply the nearness of you was enough to drive me to
distraction. Now, even a gesture as
intimate as a kiss does not make me feel as if I will implode. It’s a tremendous relief, and something I
had to know, because if it was going to continue to be torture to be around
you, I was going to find a way to avoid you at all costs,” she explained.
Kieran
turned away. “I should get back,” she
started to leave.
“Please,”
Seven reclaimed her hands. “Tell me you
are not angry with me.”
Kieran
turned back. “I’m not angry,
Seven.” She hung her head. “You’re someone I care deeply for, and the
thought that you might have just decided to avoid me—that hurts,” she
admitted. “I know it’s stupid, and
really selfish of me, but it felt kind of—sweet—knowing you loved me, and now
I’m sorry you don’t feel so strongly anymore.
I should be glad you aren’t feeling so tortured around me, but I’m
not. What the hell is wrong with me?”
Seven
squeezed her hands. “You are human, and
that is all that is wrong with you.
Nothing more. I promise, I will
not abandon your life, now that I know I can be close to you and not feel utter
desperation.”
“God, was
it really that bad?” Kieran was flabbergasted.
Seven
nodded. “It was excruciating, and I was
scandalously obvious. Even Phoebe
deduced that I had feelings for you, and confronted me about them. I may never get over the guilt of having
grieved over your marrying my daughter, who clearly deserves and has your total
devotion.”
“You can’t
beat yourself up over it, anymore,” Kieran told her. “It was an illness that compounded a genuine emotion that you had
every right to feel. Let it go at that,
your Borgness.”
Seven
nodded. “I will try.
_________________
Kathryn
Janeway was relegated to intensive therapy for anger management at Starfleet
Command, and although it probably wasn’t fair or necessary, the Captain was so
grateful not to have charges pending against her, she willingly complied with
the order.
Ironically,
Robin Lefler was assigned to her case.
Kathryn figured it couldn’t get much worse than that. And she didn’t much like the homework Robin
gave her, which involved making apologies and amends to everyone she had been
verbally or physically abusive to.
Kathryn figured she might make it through the list sometime before she
made Admiral.
She knew
she had to start at the beginning, with Seven, Kieran and Naomi. She wanted to stop by and see Naomi, anyway,
so she went to the medical center the second her own hyperbaric treatment was
complete. Naomi was undergoing
hyperbaric treatment, herself and Kathryn watched at the lab doors as Kieran
and Seven talked to Naomi, trying to cheer her. Kieran looked positively awful, her face worried and drawn, eyes
so tired they looked bruised.
Periodically she leaned away from the chamber window, so Naomi wouldn’t
see how exhausted she was.
This is
my fault. She’s had to take care of my
whole family, because of me and the shit I put them all through. Seven’s afraid of me. Kieran probably hates me. And she would be
well within her right. Especially since
I’m sure Seven told her every detail of what happened. She remembered the night Kieran and
Kate committed her, how Kieran had threatened to put her away permanently.
“If you ever touch Seven again, you miserable tyrant, you
will never see the light of day,” she said in Kathryn’s ear. “And I will personally kill you with less
mercy than I killed that other Janeway you’re so fond of reminding me about.”
Kathryn
shuddered, recalling the venom in Kieran’s voice. This woman who had loved and guided her so patiently, finally,
ultimately, disposed of her in one shattered evening, telling her how patently
worthless she was, locking her away, and going to Seven’s aid.
I’m
probably fortunate she didn’t kill me.
I’m sure she wanted to. She
loves Seven so much. She’s been Seven’s
shelter in this storm. How could Seven
not love her, not want her? I pushed
Seven right at her. And knowing Kieran,
she has probably walked the fine line between Naomi and Seven, making sure that
Naomi’s love and commitment were protected, without hurting Seven, either. They are the core of our family, those
three. I am disposable. Expendable, just as Kieran said anyone would
be who defied what Naomi wanted. And I
did it to myself.
Kathryn
heaved a determined sigh and pushed through the swinging doors.
Kieran
turned to see who was coming in, and actually smiled. “How are you feeling, Kat?” she asked, genuinely interested. She moved away from the hyperbaric chamber,
just long enough to hug the auburn-haired woman. “You look great,” she complimented her.
Kathryn
fought the lump in her throat. Somehow,
with Kieran, there was always a chance at redemption, even when it was
undeserved. Kathryn hugged her
fiercely. “I am so sorry, Kato,” she
mumbled into Kieran’s sweatshirt.
Kieran
didn’t feel like processing the apology, so she deflected it, though she
supported Kathryn in her embrace.
“Naomi has been in four hours, now.
The readout says her bacteria levels have come down 70%,” she let the
Captain cling to her a moment longer, then turned away. “Na, K-Mom is here,” Kieran advised
her. “I’m going to step away so she can
look in, okay?”
Naomi
smiled. “Okay, honey,” she agreed.
Kathryn
leaned over to talk quietly with her daughter, but Seven immediately moved
away.
Seven’s
eyes darted to Kieran, like a deer caught in headlamps. Kieran took her hand. “It’s okay, Seven, breathe,” she
whispered. “Relax. You’re safe, I promise you,” she assured the
tall blonde. “I’m right here,” she
squeezed her hand.
Seven’s
grip was so firm, it was painful, but Kieran knew the fear behind it
intimately. The first time she had seen
P’Arth after they had split up, she broke out into a cold sweat and thought her
heart would pound out of her chest. It
had been on a mission Enterprise was on, at the Klingon home world. Deanna Troi had been the one to hold Kieran’s
hand and shore her up, and now Kieran would do it for Seven.
The longer
Kathryn stayed in the room, the less alarmed Seven felt. “Better,” Kieran praised her. “Keep breathing. Tell yourself you’re safe here, with me, Seven. I won’t let anyone hurt you,” she eased her
through the initial panic. “Have I ever let anyone hurt you, when you gave me
the choice?” she made Seven focus on her eyes, almost glaring at her.
“No,”
Seven replied so weakly the sound was barely more than a breath.
“And I never
will, you have my word,” Kieran kept her tone low and commanding. “That’s it,” she encouraged her, “deep
breaths. Relax.”
Kathryn
was oblivious to the near silent counseling session going on, but she was
acutely aware that Seven had moved away from her. She turned toward the two women, huddled together at the back of
the lab. “Seven,” she said gently. “I owe you an apology, and I need to make it
now, before I lose my nerve,” she rushed through the words. “What I did to you was unspeakable, and I am
ashamed of myself. I am ashamed to find
out that I am capable of that sort of brutality. I have no excuse. There
can be none. I know that the infection
exacerbated my state of mind, but I also know that those emotions were not
manufactured by any pathogen. They were
already in me, and the pathogen made them surface. I want to do right by you.
If you tell me you want a divorce, I will give it to you without
question or hesitation. But I hope
you’ll consider a more tempered decision.
I don’t know how or if we can ever recover from this, but I’d like to
try. I’ll do anything you say. I won’t mention it again until you tell me
you want to talk. But I wanted to tell
you I will never, ever forgive myself for what I did to you, and I understand
if you can’t forgive me, either. I
wanted to see Naomi, and I know I’m making you uncomfortable, so I’m going to
leave.
“Kieran,”
she turned her gaze to the tall Counselor.
“You are more a part of this family than I will ever be. You are the anchor. I want to thank you for taking care of my
loved ones. I ask your forgiveness for
the ways I tried to undermine you with Naomi, and with Seven, and for all the
hateful and hurtful things I have done that have caused you pain. You offered me nothing but love and
friendship, and I treated that love and friendship as if it were a nuisance
instead of the gift it has truly been.
I can’t take it back or make any of it up to you. And I regret every bit of it,” she said
sincerely.
“I am
sorry for the accusations I made of you and Seven. I know they could never be true, because you would never cross a
line that black. And I know in my heart
that Seven’s fidelity was absolute, because her character, like yours, is of
the utmost integrity. I hope you will
notify me of your plans, and that Naomi will at least want to stay in touch
with me. I’m going to be at Mother’s
for the foreseeable future. Please,
someone let me know how Naomi comes through this.”
Kieran
nodded. “I’ll contact you at your
mother’s tonight,” she promised. “Thank
you for your apology.”
Kathryn
nodded, feet leaden. She wanted
desperately for Seven to say something, anything. She saw that there would be no ground given, and she forced
herself to walk toward the door.
“Take care
of yourself, Kathryn,” Seven said quietly.
Kathryn
turned back to her, eyes filling with grateful tears. “I will. You do the
same,” she said thickly.
The doors
swung as Kathryn pushed through them, and Seven stood there, tears sliding down
her face, watching.
“Do you
want to go after her?” Kieran asked kindly.
Seven
nodded. “But I can’t. I’m not ready,” she choked out the words.
“Then
don’t,” Kieran advised. “There will be
time for that, if and when you ever are ready.
And if you never are, you and Naomi and Geejay and I will get a house
someplace together. If Naomi still
wants to go to the Academy, we’ll rent a place right here in San
Francisco. Our home will always be
yours, Seven, as long as you want it to be.”
Seven
hugged her then, letting herself cry.
“Thank you. I guess if you
really want to, you may call me Mom,” she chuckled through her tears.
Kieran
laughed out loud. “I think I’ll stick
to the usual terms of endearment, your Borgness,” she decided.
______________________
The
monitors in the lab sounded their notification that the bacteria had been
eradicated. Kieran looked up from the
book she had been reading to Naomi, and Seven stood up from her seat in the
floor.
“I’ll
leave you alone for awhile,” Seven offered, waving at Naomi as she left the
lab.
Naomi put
her hand against the window, mirroring Kieran’s, and they waited for the
technician to open the chamber.
Kieran
walked to the end of the unit, waiting, stomach filled with butterflies. The second the hatch was unsealed, Naomi
fairly flew at Kieran, landing in her arms and clinging to her fiercely.
“Do you
have any idea how hard it is to be right next to you, but be unable to touch
you?” she whispered against Kieran’s cheek.
Kieran
breathed a sigh of relief. “You still
want to touch me?” she asked meekly. “I don’t mean to doubt you, but I have to
know,” she closed her eyes against the sensation of Naomi nestled in her
embrace.
Naomi
slipped her arms around Kieran’s neck.
“Kiss me and let’s find out,” she said logically.
Kieran
looked at the technician. “Excuse us,
please, Ensign,” she used her command voice, smiling as the young man scurried
out of the area.
Kieran
gazed at Naomi, then, afraid, but needing confirmation of her fate. She brushed her lips over Naomi’s, the soft
velvet and sweet scent of her breath washing over Kieran as if it were the
first time they had touched. Naomi
leaned into their kiss, parting Kieran’s lips, exploring gingerly. Kieran
allowed her to take the lead, to experiment, to get a sense of her own
feelings. She tangled her fingers in
Kieran’s hair, suddenly deepening the kiss, her breathing increasing
subtly. She pulled away, resting her
head on Kieran’s shoulder.
“I’d say
the prognosis for a long, happy marriage is very, very good,” she reported,
hugging her partner tightly. “My love
for you is definitely not bacterial, pheromonal, or hallucinatory,” she gazed
up at Kieran through thick, strawberry blonde eyelashes.
“Thank
God,” Kieran breathed, cradling Naomi’s head against her chest.
“What
would you have done if I had said the feeling was gone?” Naomi asked.
“Died, I
imagine,” Kieran stroked her hair softly.
“Or at least, I would’ve wanted to.
I love you so much, Naomi. I’m
so glad you’re going to be okay,” she kissed the crown of the Ktarian’s head
solemnly.
“Does
Seven still love you, too?” Naomi asked, her eyes soft with concern for her
mother.
“She’s in
a much better state of mind,” Kieran assured the smaller woman. “Honey, Seven is so ashamed of it, she would
have kept it to herself forever, if Kathryn hadn’t accused her right in front
of me. I only had vague inklings that
she felt anything for me, until she finally told me, and she only did to
explain why Kathryn had been abusing her,” Kieran explained.
“You
didn’t realize how she feels because you can be dense as a black hole,” Naomi
laughed. “You also labored under the
delusion that I had gotten over my crush on you, when in fact, I’ve harbored it
all along,” she advised. Then more
seriously, she asked “Is she going to be able to deal with you, considering
we’re together and she loves you?”
“I hope
so. She seems to think she can. I still can’t get my arms around the idea
that she even feels that way,” Kieran admitted.
“Then you
are dense beyond words, Kieran Wildman,” Naomi accused. “You and Seven would make a really good
match.”
“Are you
trying to get rid of me?” Kieran asked half seriously.
“Never,”
Naomi promised. “Though I wish you
could be two people, for Seven’s sake.”
“Me, too,”
Kieran agreed. “She deserves to be
happy. In spite of everything, I
believe she still loves Kathryn, though.
I think they still have a chance.”
“Maybe,”
Naomi allowed. “But I’m not so sure
that’s the best thing for either of them,” she speculated.
Kate
Pulaski came back in to check on her patient, tricorder at the ready and Seven
in tow. When she finished her scans,
she gave a satisfied nod. “I want to
scan your DNA and see if the aging has stopped,” she pronounced, snapping her
tricorder shut. She led Naomi over to
the biobed they had revised for the purpose of locating the bacteria. “Lie still, kiddo,” she instructed, starting
the emitters. She went to the
workstation, tapped in a few commands, and allowed Kieran to hover over her,
watching. She sighed happily. “No more aging, nothing attacking your DNA,
and no bacteria. I think you’re cured,”
she smiled warmly. “Now, the question I have for you, is would you like to have
us reverse some of the aging you’ve been through?”
Naomi sat
up on the biobed, swinging her legs over one side. “You can do that?”
Pulaski
nodded. “Within limits,” she
acknowledged. “We can turn back the
clock a few years, anyway.”
Naomi
considered. “How old am I,
physiologically, right now?”
Pulaski
snapped open the tricorder again.
“Somewhere between and forty five and fifty.”
“How far
back can you undo the damage?” Naomi wondered.
“I’d say
with nanite and regenerative therapies, we could put you in your early to late
twenties,” Pulaski smiled.
“Is there
any danger I’d regress further back than that?” Naomi wanted to be sure.
“No. I promise you, you won’t turn into a
pimple-faced teenager,” Pulaski teased.
“You can think it over, if you like.
There’s no hurry.”
“You can
do that for anyone who wants it?” Naomi was intrigued.
“We don’t
offer it, as a matter of course. In
fact, it’s not well known that we have that ability, because people would want
to be immortal, and we need people to age at a reasonable rate to keep the
population balanced. But for your
situation, the treatment would be appropriate.”
Naomi
looked to Kieran and Seven. “What do
you think?” she asked.
Seven
smiled. “I think you should stay as
young as you can for as long as you can,” she decided.
Naomi
looked at Kieran. “How old do you want
your wife to be, Kieran?”
“I‘d like
to have an eternity to love you, Na,” Kieran said sincerely. She winked at Pulaski. “Can you set her back far enough for an
eternity, Doctor?”
Pulaski
rolled her eyes. “Spare me the romantic
drivel,” she crossed her arms.
Seven
smiled at the couple. “They can be
tediously romantic,” she agreed.
“In all
seriousness, KT. Do you have a
preference for how old I end up being?”
Kieran
grinned. “More than anything, Na, I
want you to be comfortable with your age,” she asserted. Then more playfully she added “And as it
stands now, you’re robbing the cradle with me, sweetie. Maybe you should let them put you at the
youngest point they can, since you should be a young woman, by Ktarian
standards. And if you end up being
twenty, or even 18, then you’ll be the approximate age of the other cadets, if
you’re still thinking of the Academy,” she pointed out.
Naomi
thought it over. “Can I get back to
you, Doctor Pulaski? I want to be sure
about this. It’s a big decision. I was
just getting used to being middle-aged,” she said thoughtfully.
“Middle-aged? If you’re middle-aged, what does that make
me, young lady? Dead?” Pulaski snapped.
Naomi
giggled. “No offense,” she
apologized. “For tonight,” she jumped
down and took Kieran’s hand, “you’re going to get to be with an older woman,
KT.”
Kieran
waggled her eyebrows. “I like the sound
of that,” she grinned.
____________________
Kate
Pulaski toasted her dinner guests with a shot of Wild Turkey, satisfied that
the mystery was, at last, solved.
Naomi
touched the older woman’s hand. “Your
crepes are wonderful, Kate,” she enthused.
“But I’ve never been to a debriefing party. What’s that about?”
Pulaski
looked around her dining room table at the assembled guests. “I thought you might want a little more
information about the Restidian bacteria, and what my team has discovered since
we eradicated it,” she explained.
Kieran
nodded. “I know I’ve got questions
about it. For example, Naomi was
exposed on Restid Three, and she had almost immediate symptoms of accelerated
aging. But several of us didn’t have
noticeable symptoms for months after we were exposed,” she puzzled over it.
Kate
smiled. “My research indicates that
although Naomi, Harry, and Tom were exposed at the same time, Naomi’s Ktarian
physiology is sufficiently different enough from everyone else’s that the
bacteria affected her completely differently.
Harry and Tom had milder symptoms, more controllable ones. In fact, Tom almost didn’t have any, because
he mounted an immune response. Harry
had a much less effective immune reaction, so he was depressed,” she
nodded. “And then Naomi was repeatedly
re-exposed to the bacteria, which increased the concentration of it in her
system. As each person came in contact
with it, the degree of exposure impacted their degree of symptoms.”
Seven
toyed with her food, thinking hard. “So
theoretically the engineering team should have been infected worst of all, yet
you said in the lab that Kathryn had the worst case you’d seen.”
“That’s
right. Kathryn was exposed when a gel
pack exploded in her hands, and the bacteria was apparently quite potent at
that time. However, she was exposed to
a second strain via your blood, and that strain was much worse. And she couldn’t mount an immune response to
it at all. Her symptoms were likely
mild, while you were on Voyager, and got worse once the second strain hit
her. After you entered Earth’s
atmosphere,” she said to the Captain, “ the lower oxygen content actually let
both strains become rampant. Seven had
the benefit of her nanoprobes, you did not.”
B'Elanna
sipped her wine, listening intently.
“Kate, were you right about the psychological effects of the
bacteria? That it somehow unearthed the
carrier’s darkest side?”
Pulaski
shook her head. “Not the darkest
side—that wouldn’t be how I’d describe it.
It’s more like it brought out hidden tendencies—latent behaviors. For example, if Kieran weren’t 100% lesbian,
it might have unearthed whatever limited heterosexual tendencies she had. It had the same sort of effect alcohol has,
in that it removed certain inhibitions.
Poor Harry had always kept his depressive side under control, but with
the bacteria, he no longer could.”
Noah
glanced at B'Elanna. “Does this mean
you really are more lesbian than not?” Noah asked her.
“I don’t
think so,” B'Elanna protested. “Like I
told you when we got involved, I think I’m capable of an attraction to either
sex.”
Kathryn
smirked. “She’s just easy,” she teased
her friend. “Not selective either way,”
she joked.
B'Elanna
scowled. “You know, Kathryn, I still
have pain sticks,” she threatened.
Kate
looked around the table at her guests.
“It’s lucky that there wasn’t a lot more damage to your situations. I know that your lives had a lot of
upheaval, because of this bug. But
nobody died, thankfully. And the
Qianians are convinced there is no potential for relapse. Everyone’s scans have come up negative,
repeatedly. That’s the good news,” she
added.
Tuvok sat
stoically beside Kathryn, since his transport to Vulcan was leaving the next
day, and their long affiliation would be ending. The list of crewmembers
infected with the bacteria helped narrow down the list of suspects involved in
Kieran's assault, and once it was determined that the bacteria had influenced
their behavior, the charges were dropped at Kieran's insistence. Tuvok reported
his findings to the group, and advised that since Kieran had dropped the
charges, the investigation was considered closed.
The dinner
party broke up before midnight, and Kate pulled Kieran and Naomi aside. “I need to talk to the two of you,” she
motioned them over to the couch. “I’ve
done some additional analysis on Naomi’s scans. There are a couple of things you need to discuss.”
Kieran
took Naomi’s hand, instantly frightened.
“She’s not still sick, is she Kate?
This aging isn’t going to continue, is it?”
“No,
nothing like that. But there are long
term consequences I hadn’t foreseen.
Naomi,” she touched the Ktarian’s hand, “you aged from adolescence
through your reproductive years in a few months. We can reverse a lot of the aging, but we can’t reverse the aging
of your reproductive systems. Were you
two planning to have a family?”
“Absolutely,”
Naomi confirmed, her stomach sinking.
“Only, not for several years. Are
you saying I can’t have children?”
“No, but
your ova are as old as that of a 50 year old woman. They will continue to erupt in an aged state. If you intend to have children from your own
genetic makeup, we have to harvest them before you age any further. I can’t guarantee they’re viable, even
now. I can test them, certainly, and
select out the genetically undamaged ones.
But it’s something you can’t wait to do, if you want that option,” Kate
explained.
“What
about carrying the baby myself? Can my
uterus sustain a fetus?” she worried at her bottom lip.
“If you
got pregnant today, yes, you could carry a baby to term. Several years from now, I can’t say. We can definitely run tests when you’re
ready to conceive, but as you know, the uterine walls thin with age, and I
can’t guarantee that you’d be able to sustain a pregnancy in five years, not
without radical measures,” the elder woman explained.
Kieran
squeezed Naomi’s hand. “Honey, don’t
worry—I’ll carry our kids. Kathryn
managed to run a ship through her pregnancy, and so could I. This is not a big deal, I promise,” she
reassured her wife.
Naomi
smiled gratefully at her wife. “I had
sort of figured I’d carry two and you could carry one, since I’m younger. We won’t have enough reproductive years,
between the two of us, to have more than a couple of kids, from the way it
sounds. I can’t ask you to do
back-to-back pregnancies, three in a row.
That’s too much. I guess we’ll
just have to have a smaller family. Or
adopt.”
Kieran
kissed her cheek. “I could carry twins,
and then a single baby,” she pointed out.
Kate
nodded. “There are lots of options, and
really only one decision you need to make right now. Do you want to harvest your eggs, Naomi?”
Naomi
nodded. “First thing tomorrow, Doctor. Can you work me in?”
“Of course
I will,” Kate smiled, relieved that the problem had not raised a major
issue.
Kieran
fixed the older woman with a stern expression.
“You thought I wouldn’t offer, didn’t you Kate?”
Pulaski
grinned. “I was sure you wouldn’t,
Kieran,” she admitted. “Athletes seldom
want to put their bodies through the rigors of childbearing. And I recall your telling me the idea of
carrying a child bothered you—repulsed you, I believe you said.”
Kieran
scowled. “I was sixteen when we had
that conversation, Kate. I’m a little
more mature, now,” she complained.
Pulaski
quirked an eyebrow. “Not much,” she
said smartly. She turned to Naomi. “Have you decided about the age regression?”
Naomi
nodded. “I want you to put me as close
to my early twenties as you can,” she decided.
“I’ll always think of Kieran as older than me, and I’d like to be close
to the age of the other students at the Academy,” she decided.
Kate
nudged Kieran. “Lucky you, you’re going
to have a younger, sexier wife than anyone your age could probably ever hope
for. And I thought only Admirals had
trophy wives,” she teased. “So you’ve
settled on attending the Academy, Naomi?”
“Well,
Kieran and I haven’t really talked about it, but if it’s okay with her, I’d
still like to. Only, that means you
have to decide what to do about Enterprise, honey,” she looked earnestly
into Kieran’s deep brown eyes.
“I already
told you when Picard offered me the job—your education comes first, Na. I already had the benefit of all the
opportunities you’re just now going to have, and my career can wait. It makes more sense this way. I don’t know what I’ll do, exactly—I guess
get a doctorate degree—but it’s no contest.
Picard will understand if I turn down the post.”
Pulaski
whistled appreciatively. “You were
offered first officer of the Enterprise?” she was truly impressed.
“Yes,
Ma’am,” Kieran replied.
“I’ll say
one thing for you, Kieran,” Kate chuckled.
“Your priorities have certainly changed since you were sixteen. And I think they’re much, much better,
now. Naomi, I hope you appreciate how
much this woman loves you, if she’s walking away from the number one to
Jean-Luc Picard,” she smiled warmly at her former student.
“I do,”
Naomi agreed, gazing lovingly at her wife.
“If I thought I could stand to be apart from her, I wouldn’t let her
turn it down, but I can’t bear the thought of being apart.”
“Neither
can I,” Kieran assured her. “I just got
you back from the brink of death.
Nothing is going to take me from you, not now,” she said with
feeling. “And you tested out of two
years, so it’s a quick detour for me, sweetie,” she contended.
“Well, I
for one will be glad to have you around—both of you,” the older woman said in a
fit of emotional weakness. She winked
at Naomi. “Kieran’s the closest I ever
came to having a daughter.”
Kieran was
stunned, but she only smiled. “Thanks,
Kate. I’d have been lucky to be your
kid.”
“Yeah,
well now I have several hundred, and I have to tend to them in the
morning. So I have to throw you out,
now,” she stood from the couch, tugging the young lovers with her. “Naomi, come by the med center at 0900, and
we’ll make some future babies for you and your wife.”
Kieran
kissed the older woman’s cheek. “Thanks
for everything, Kate. Dinner was
great.”
____________________
Kieran and
Naomi Wildman took a transport back to the Intergalactic Suites, arms firmly
around one another, kissing intermittently.
Naomi scooted into Kieran’s lap, letting the larger woman cradle her.
“I love
you with all my heart, Kieran,” she murmured.
“You’re really okay with all of this?”
“All of
what, sweetie?” Kieran kissed her hair tenderly.
“Putting
your career on hold, my going to school, my possible inability to carry our
children,” she clarified.
Kieran
hugged her tightly. “My beloved,” she
said hoarsely, “I want your happiness, and I’ve found in the past few months
that when you are happy, so am I. I
want you to live your dreams, and that means the Academy, and
children—regardless of which of us can carry them,” she assured her. “When your career is determined, then we’ll
worry about mine. Besides, I’m thrilled
to have some time on Earth, so I can see my folks more often, and catch up with
old friends.”
“Old
friends like Robin Lefler?” Naomi murmured against Kieran’s throat.
Kieran
held Naomi out at arms’ length, studying her.
“Is there something wrong with my renewing that friendship?”
Naomi
peered intently into Kieran’s dark brown eyes.
“I guess not, as long as you tell me I don’t have anything to worry
about,” she decided.
Kieran
kissed her deeply, willing away her insecurities. “Honey, you never have anything to worry about. I will never leave you, and there is no one
else I ever want to be this intimate with,” she promised.
Naomi
kissed her back, tangling her fingers in Kieran’s hair. “Will you take me back to our room and show
me how intimate you want to be with me?” she breathed warmly in Kieran’s ear,
feeling the taller woman’s immediate response.
The
transport came to a halt and Kieran gathered Naomi into her arms. “I will,” she agreed, lifting the slight
Ktarian easily. “Will you show me,
too?”
Naomi
kissed her cheek, nuzzling her ear.
“Oh, I intend to show you all sorts of things,” she flirted. “Isn’t that the point of being with an older
woman? You benefit from my vast wisdom
and experience?”
Kieran
shivered involuntarily at Naomi’s suggestive tone. “Older, younger, makes no difference. I benefit from your exquisite technique, either way,” she said
softly as they entered the turbo-lift.
“You think
my technique is exquisite?” Naomi whispered.
“I do,”
Kieran agreed. “You always bring me to
a state of complete surrender,” she admitted.
They were
barely inside the door of their suite before hands found eager breasts, mouths
began searching passionately, and clothing was partially removed. Kieran lay Naomi down on the oversized bed,
tugging at the closure of her jeans, sliding her hand through soft fur and
beneath her panties. Naomi gasped
beneath her, instantly ready, nearly on the brink just from flirting.
Kieran
fondled her that way, teasing her despite confining clothing, listening to the
increasing sounds of her pleasure.
“God,” Naomi arched into her fingers, “I’m going to miss this,” she
groaned.
Kieran
nipped at her throat. “Miss what?” she
demanded, fingers suddenly bathed in wetness.
“My
middle-aged hormones,” Naomi replied, body surging against Kieran’s.
Kieran
chuckled wickedly, pulling Naomi’s blouse open. “Yes, love, but it means you’ll get to hit your sexual peak twice
in this lifetime,” she pointed out.
Naomi
groaned. “I don’t know if I can take it
twice,” she shuddered, body poised on the edge. “This first time has almost put me under,” she admitted. “God, Kieran,” she gasped in her wife’s ear,
“touch me,” she pleaded. “You feel so
good,” she bit her lip, fighting the urge to climax.
Kieran
kissed her throat gently, letting her tongue skate over the thundering pulse
point. “Come to me, Na,” she urged,
fingers insistent. “I want to hear
you,” she implored, body moving with Naomi’s.
Naomi held
her breath, feeling the pressure mounting inside herself, the piercing
intensity. “Kieran,” she breathed, “oh,
honey,” she arched and cried out, body suffused with heat and light and need. She shook violently as the sensation broke
over her, breathing raggedly and clutching Kieran to her.
“I’ve got
you, baby,” Kieran held on to her, absorbing the shock waves, letting Naomi’s
ferocity subside. “I love you, Na,” she
assured her.
When the fierceness
had resolved, she continued to undress her lover, peeling away layers of
Naomi’s clothing and her own, then sliding beneath the covers of their bed.
Naomi
touched her face, gazing up at her. “Do
you realize you’ve never once said no to me?”
Kieran
giggled softly. “Like I could resist
you?”
“No, I’m
serious,” she said with feeling.
“You’ve never made an excuse, or pushed me away, or said you weren’t in
the mood,” she realized. “Even though I
look so old, people mistake me for your mother,” she was awed by it.
Kieran
dropped her face to capture Naomi’s lips once more. “I’ve never said I wasn’t in the mood because all I have to do is
think about touching you, and I’m in the mood,” she quirked an eyebrow. “And you don’t look old to me. You’re so beautiful, honey,” she said
sincerely.
“Kieran,”
Naomi scolded, “are you blind? My
breasts sag, my butt sags, I have lines around my eyes and my mouth that are
almost as bad as Gran’s.”
“Maybe I
am blind,” Kieran allowed, “because I don’t see those things. I just see my wife, my lover, my soul
mate. I see the woman I want to spend
my life with, and make love with every day, and laugh with. I look at you, and I see the woman who ran
away with me on Qian, the musician who writes masterpieces of music, the woman
who kicks my ass at Velocity. I think
you taught me how to see with these eyes,” she professed. “You are the one who insisted that I see you
as an adult, despite your actual age, and now that you’re actually older than I
am, I don’t really see your age at all.
I hope you won’t see mine, either, because if Doctor Pulaski sets your
clock back physiologically, I’m going to be a lot older than you again, and in
a few years I’ll be the one with sagging parts and laugh lines,” she frowned,
suddenly worried about it.
“Isn’t
that funny,” Naomi smiled at her. “I
know I’ll still be just as attracted to you then as you are to me right
now. But even knowing that, I wonder
how you can feel that way toward me now.”
“Double
standard,” Kieran accused, tickling her ribs lightly. “You think you can love me better than I can love you,” she
stated flatly.
Naomi’s
eyes widened. “I don’t think that at
all,” she protested. “I’m just
astonished by how well you do love me, and I’m grateful for it. I think my family had a lot of misgivings
about our relationship, after hearing Kathryn’s side of things and before we
came back to the Alpha Quadrant. But
now that they’ve seen us together, seen how you are with me, you’ve won them
all over. Phoebe and Gran have both
told me how lucky I am to have you, and how pleased they are for me.”
“Really?”
Kieran smiled warmly. “That’s
sweet. And odd, because I think I’m the
lucky one. My mom and dad adore you,
too. Mom’s never, ever approved of
anyone I’ve been with, or said one word of encouragement, but with you, she
just can’t help herself,” Kieran beamed. “She didn’t even bust my chops too
badly over taking your name, and I really expected her to raise hell about it.”
“Well, it
is a really great name,” Naomi contended, giggling.
“Can I ask
you something?” Kieran toyed with the strands of Naomi’s hair that fell softly
around the pillow, suddenly serious.
“Yes,”
Naomi touched her cheek, caressing it gently.
“This
bacteria—it unearthed hidden parts of our personalities, brought things to the
surface we would ordinarily have suppressed.
With almost all of us, it’s clear what that was—Harry’s depression,
Kathryn’s violence, B'Elanna’s heterosexual tendencies—”
“Seven’s
secret attraction to you,” Naomi teased.
Kieran
scowled at her playfully. “What was it
for you? Did it just make you age, or
did it expose parts of your personality that you think were hidden?”
Naomi
blushed. “Honestly? I think I had myself about as sexually
repressed as I could possibly be, and the bacteria brought out all the things I
had repressed, including my very intense attraction to you. The thing is, I can’t be sure, because I
guess a lot of young girls feel ambivalent about sex until they mature. So maybe I would’ve naturally become
unrepressed as I matured, with or without the bacteria. But I think it made me a lot less inhibited
than I would’ve been otherwise. And I
think it compelled me to deal with how much I wanted you. Without it, I probably would’ve stayed away
from you out of respect for B'Elanna,” she admitted. She considered a bit, then said “For you, it was your love for
me, wasn’t it?”
Kieran
nodded. “I would have kept right on
denying how I felt, I imagine.”
“Do you
think, without the bacteria, your marriage would have ended?” Naomi asked
softly.
“I’ve
asked myself that a million times,” Kieran confessed. “I think without the bacteria, B'Elanna would have continued to
repress her desire for men, and she would’ve hidden her need for a more
aggressive partner. But I don’t know
that the marriage would’ve survived, because even though she would’ve
suppressed those things, I think her unhappiness would’ve become apparent,
eventually. Maybe it would’ve been more
vague—a dissatisfaction with the relationship that she couldn’t articulate or
identify. I think the marriage would’ve
still ended, just not so soon.”
“Have you
ever thought about trying to fix all the damage the bacteria did?” Naomi needed
to know.
“Fix it
how?” Kieran rolled off of her, moving onto her side.
“Have you
ever thought that maybe you and B'Elanna should still be together, because
aside from the bacteria, you would still be?” she held her breath.
“Not for a
nanosecond,” Kieran replied without hesitation. “I am happier than I’ve ever been, and Noah and B'Elanna are
blood-bonded. This was the best
possible outcome for me. I love you,
Naomi, and for all the heartache and illness you’ve been through, I am sorry. But I believe we were supposed to be
together. Only, if things hadn’t
unfolded exactly so, neither of us would have been able to accept our destiny
together,” she cupped the Ktarian’s cheek in her hand, studying her hazel eyes
intently. “Don’t you feel it, too?”
“I do,”
Naomi agreed, closing her eyes against the rush of love. “And I wouldn’t change anything. But I wanted to be sure you didn’t need to
rethink things.”
“You’re
sure that’s all? No second thoughts
about this, now that you’re cured?” Kieran’s brow furrowed, her face a mask of
worry.
“No second
thoughts,” she promised, kissing her reassuringly. “Are you okay?” she asked tenderly, soothing the lines from
Kieran’s forehead with her fingertip.
“I will
be,” Kieran decided, kissing her back with intention, exploring the velvet
interior of Naomi’s lips. They kissed
until their mouths ached, the passion asserting itself in the depths of their
bodies, radiating outward. “Naomi,”
Kieran whispered against her lover’s throat.
“I need you,” she held tightly, heart threatening to break.
“You have
me,” Naomi replied hoarsely, turning the taller woman onto her back. “I promise, Kieran, always and only you,”
she vowed, kissing her fervently.
Kieran
enfolded her in welcoming arms, so relieved that she would not have to
relinquish her hold anytime soon. She
gazed shyly up at her wife, wanting her in every fiber of her being, but
reluctant to ask.
“What,
honey?” Naomi smiled faintly.
Kieran
struggled with her desire, puzzled by her own reticence. She stared mutely at her wife.
“Why won’t
you just tell me?” Naomi touched her face. “I am your partner, I love you more than anything. Just say it, Kieran.”
Kieran
swallowed hard, tears welling in her eyes.
“Please,” she bit her lip.
Naomi
kissed away the tears, heart aching.
“Please what?”
Kieran
sighed. “Please, Naomi, make love to
me,” she said softly, voice barely audible.
Naomi
smiled gently at her, kissing her tenderly.
“Was that so hard?” she breathed warmly in Kieran’s ear, biting the lobe
with careful teeth.
Kieran’s
body surged at the sensation. “Yes,”
she replied, sighing as Naomi moved gradually down the length of her body,
kissing a path to her breasts.
“Why?”
Naomi demanded, cradling Kieran’s breasts in her hands and loving them with her
tongue.
“Because I
don’t just want you,” Kieran explained, gasping at the pulling sensation in her
nipples. “God, Naomi,” she groaned
loudly.
Warm
fingers slid through the thick ribbon of fluid gathering at Kieran’s opening,
penetrating suddenly, pressing deep.
“What else, Kieran?” she was relentless.
Kieran
shuddered at the intrusion, hips lifting off the mattress to take the full
length of Naomi’s fingers. “I—I need
you,” she cried out. “Oh, God, Naomi, I
need you to take me,” she let it out in a flood, “Please, please,” she clutched
at the smaller woman’s body, writhing against her touch.
Kieran
felt her sex enveloped in the heat and liquid silk of Naomi’s mouth, felt the
pressure intensify inside herself as Naomi’s fingers moved in her, felt her
consciousness separate from her physical body, and heard herself as if from a
great distance, words pouring out, unleashed by the torrent of ecstasy rending
her body. The power of it frightened
her, wrung her out, left her sobbing and clinging to her lover, feeling
conquered and spent and weak.
Kieran lay
in the circle of Naomi’s arms, cheek pillowed by Naomi’s breasts, too overcome
to move. “It scares me, Na,” she
finally whispered. “How strong it is,
how demanding,” she sighed. “It’s what
you said before—a total state of vulnerability. I’ve never given myself like that to anyone else. I always kept some modicum of control, some
edge. And with you, I can’t. I deliver myself into your hands, because I
have to, because I need your lovemaking so much. And that means I have to trust you completely. And it takes so much energy to do that,” she
cried harder.
“I know,”
Naomi stroked her hair gently. “It gets
easier, honey,” she promised. “Every
time I give myself to you that way, it makes it a little easier the next time. That’s why you have to keep talking to me,
putting yourself on the line for me. I
knew what you wanted, but if you tell me, if I make you say it, our
communication just gets better and better.
That’s why I wouldn’t just give you what you wanted without your saying
it.”
Kieran
laughed through her tears. “You want me
on my knees,” she accused.
“Yes,
because I’m on mine,” Naomi replied honestly.
“I want us both to be that open and vulnerable. No walls.”
Kieran
wiped her face with the back of her hand.
“Honey, believe me, there are no walls.
I don’t have the strength to keep them up when you love me like that.”
Naomi
grinned. “That’s the idea.”
Kieran
squeezed her closer, exhausted but content.
“I love you, Naomi Wildman,” she eased away from her, turning over to
sleep. “Will you hold me?”
Naomi
curled around her, draping her arm over Kieran’s waist. “Always.
Sleep, my beloved. I’ll keep you
warm and safe.”
Kieran
grinned. “And you’ll keep the
nightmares away?”
Naomi
chuckled. “Yes, honey.”
____________________
Naomi had
been through extensive treatments at Starfleet Medical, and her age regression
was considered a rousing success. The
bacteria had not reappeared in her system, or in anyone else’s, and Pulaski
declared her, along with the rest of the Voyager crew, cured. Naomi’s hair had returned to its luxuriant
strawberry blonde luster, her skin had reclaimed its youthful appearance, and
she declared that she felt better than she had physically in years. She proved it by regularly wearing Kieran
down to exhaustion in their bedroom.
The Counselor wasn’t complaining, any, and was so grateful that her wife
would live, she would have let Naomi make love to her until she was comatose.
Seven had
reluctantly agreed to live with the Wildmans, trading custody of Geejay every
other week with Kathryn. Kathryn
settled into Gretchen’s guesthouse, while the Wildmans based themselves in
their own farmhouse. Kieran had pledged
to try to find them a house in San Francisco, where they could all live while
Naomi attended school. August had
arrived, and with it, the crush of cadets from all over the quadrant.
The Time
Warp was packed with students all in town for the beginning of fall semester,
and the three women worried they might not be able to get a table on such short
notice.
Mike
Sorvino spotted Kieran and came right over to them.
“KT,” he
smiled and shook her hand. “That was
nice of you, to go and see Toni. She
says you even put in a good word for her, with Captain Riker,” he said
gratefully.
“She’s a
very nice young woman, Mike,” Kieran assured him. “When I get my first command, I’ll be sure to look her up.”
His face
warmed. “You’d do that for my girl?”
She
nodded. “Of course I would. If she has a good service record, I’ll find
a place for her, I promise. In the
meantime, she’s in good hands with Will.
A friend of mine is his First Officer, in fact, and I’ve made sure he’s
looking out for Toni.”
“Commander
Kim?” Mike wanted to be sure.
“Yes,
Harry is a good buddy. He owes me a
favor or two, and I asked him to help Toni find her feet on the ship,” she
assured the overprotective father.
“That’s
great, KT,” he was touched by the gesture.
“For that, you ladies get our best table the second it becomes
available. It shouldn’t be long,” he
promised.
“Mike, I’d
like you to meet my wife, Naomi, and my mother-in-law, Seven,” Kieran
introduced them. “You met Naomi earlier
in the summer, do you remember?”
“I never
forget a pretty lady,” he took Naomi’s hands.
“Congratulations. I read about
the wedding,” he mentioned. “Sit tight,
and I’ll have your table as soon as I can,” he scuttled away to rearrange the
seating list.
They were
settled in a matter of minutes, and Kieran ordered a bottle of champagne. “I think we should celebrate,” she
announced.
Seven
quirked an eyebrow. “Because Naomi was
accepted to the Academy? Because you’re
married to a fetching twenty-something year old again?”
“The
Doctor puts me at a firm twenty-three, Mom,” she advised the Borg. She turned to her wife. “I’m betting the celebration is that you got
Admiral Brand to approve your proposal,” she guessed.
“All of
the above, plus I found us a house,” Kieran handed round the drinks. “To the future,” she toasted them both. “I can’t wait to show it to you,” she
enthused. “There are two master suites
upstairs, each with fireplaces and jacuzzi tubs, plus a guest bedroom where
Geejay’s bed will go. It’s a split
floor plan, so we have plenty of privacy.
The downstairs is huge, too, with a kitchen you’ll die for, Seven. And there’s a pool in the back yard. The living room has a gorgeous river rock
fireplace, for those cold San Francisco nights. I just fell in love with it.”
Naomi
drank the toast, smiling adoringly at her wife. “Can we afford it?” she hated to bring up practicalities.
“Oh, no
problem,” Kieran grinned gleefully. “I
signed a shoe contract, and it will pay for the house and then some. That is, if you both like it. I think you will,” she said hopefully.
Naomi
crossed her arms petulantly. “You
signed a shoe contract without telling me?”
Kieran
blanched slightly. “Honey, it’s a
killer deal. All I have to do is wear
their shoes when I play next summer, and their sweats when I’m practicing. Plus I have to do a few commercials, which I
get creative say so in. It’s a fortune
for almost no work.”
Naomi
smiled brightly. “I was only busting
your chops. I think it’s great. What team are you going to sign with?”
“Indiana,
of course, so we can all spend summers at the farmhouse. That way when I’m traveling with the team,
I’ll know you aren’t too lonely,” she said to Naomi.
Naomi took
her hand. “I love you. Thank you for thinking about me. I know the Sacramento outfit offered you a
lot more money,” she added.
“I want to
show you the house after dinner,” she enthused. “I need to sign the paperwork by tomorrow, if we want it. There’s another buyer trying to squeeze me
out,” she added.
Seven
hesitated. “Are you sure you don’t mind
having Geejay and I with you? You’re
still newlyweds. Won’t I be in the
way?”
Kieran’s
face fell. “In the way? I’m thrilled to have you both. Naomi is going to be gone so much, I
probably won’t see her more than a couple of nights a week, Seven. Just because she tested out of two years of
academic work doesn’t mean she can breeze through the rest of it. Not that she isn’t brilliant, but it’s tough
going. Ask anyone who’s dropped out,”
she poured another round for them all.
“Besides, with Noah and B’Elanna expecting, I think it’d be great for
you to be closer to them, too. You’re
Lanna’s best friend, and Geejay and Katie can have play dates, and when the new
baby comes, we can all help them out.”
Seven’s
eyes glowed ice blue. “I am excited
about the baby,” she agreed. “Noah is
going to be a great househusband,” she noted.
“He’d
carry it for her, if he could,” Naomi agreed.
“I’m glad Lanna can work at Livermore 'til the baby comes. She’d go stir crazy, otherwise.”
Kieran
considered. “I really thought she’d
stay in Starfleet, but her priorities have changed. I might be able to coax her back someday. I guess when I get assigned to a ship, I’ll
have to be a long distance mom to Katie,” she said wistfully. “But for the next two years, I won’t have to
say goodbye to anyone,” she declared happily.
Mike came
over to take their orders before they continued their gab fest.
“So tell
us about the meeting with Admiral Brand,” Naomi urged impatiently.
“She loved
my ideas,” Kieran bounced in her chair with joy. “She just went on and on about it, gave me everything I want for
a budget, the whole nine yards. She
especially loved the Speaker’s Bureau concept.
I’ve already got commitments from the entire senior staff of Voyager to
participate,” she crowed. “Well, except
Tuvok. Vulcan is a bit of a commute,”
she noted wryly.
“I think
it’s a wonderful idea, too,” Naomi agreed.
“It should put the Academy in a very favorable light.”
“I’m
counting on you, Seven. Every school
I’ve talked to wants you on the panel.
Do you think you can stand to be grilled by high school kids?”
“I am
Borg,” she replied, smiling. “Children
do not frighten me. If they get too
familiar, I will assimilate them.”
“Great,”
Kieran patted her hand, “because our first speaking engagement is in three
weeks. I’m going to give the basic
talk, and then let the kids ask questions about anything they want. Our first panel includes me, you, Neelix,
B’Elanna, and Kathryn,” she carefully monitored Seven’s eyes for a reaction to
the inclusion of her estranged wife.
“Do you think you can handle seeing Kathryn? It won’t be a personal
forum, not really,” she advised.
“I believe
I am prepared to interact with her in a professional capacity, though I
appreciate that you’ve been the intermediary for our custody issues,” Seven
replied softly, eyes dulling at the thought.
“I’ll make
sure you’re not seated next to each other,” Kieran promised. She grinned enthusiastically. “As if that’s
not enough, there’s more,” she raised her glass.
Naomi’s
eyes twinkled. “What else?”
“I am
going to be the head coach of the women’s basketball team. Coach Kilkenny is retiring. Before I even went to Admiral Brand with the
idea of the PR campaign, the Academy had already planned to offer the coaching
job to me. So I’m going to be
recruiting cadets, running the Speaker’s Bureau, coaching, and if I have any time
left, I’m going to take some classes, myself,” she was fairly bursting with
pleasure.
Seven lay
a hand over Kieran’s. “That’s
wonderful,” she agreed.
“Na,”
Kieran turned to her wife, “I want you to try out for the team.”
Naomi
laughed lightly. “Right.”
“No, I
mean it. You’re a damned good small
forward, and against a small team, you could play the power forward. I think you’ve got a chance to make the
team, if you’re interested. We’d get to
travel together,” she tried to sound persuasive.
Seven
nodded eagerly. “You should try out,
Naomi. Kathryn played tennis in school,
and she was on the Velocity team. Even
B’Elanna ran track, and everyone we know who was a collegiate athlete raves
about the fun they had and the discipline it gave them.”
“If you
wanted, Na, you could make the Velocity team—easily varsity. I played, and you’re a hell of a lot better
than I was,” Kieran complimented her.
“You’ll really get the full Academy experience, that way—you’ll have
your teammates, your quad mates, your classmates—all those new people to get to
know. I’m so excited for you. These are the best years of your life, you
should make the most of them.”
Naomi
toyed with her glass, setting it aside as Mike delivered their food. “Lasagna for the pretty newlywed,” he said
as he set down the huge portion of pasta.
“Let’s see—a Reuben for the Commander,” he gave Kieran her meal, “and a
Chef Salad for the one who’s watching her figure, though lord knows, it’s
perfect,” he said to Seven. “Ladies,
get you anything else?”
Naomi
nodded. “I’d like some iced tea. I don’t like champagne with food,” she
smiled pleasantly.
“Coming
up,” he nodded.
Naomi took
a large bite, thinking over what she wanted to say. “Kieran,” she began hesitantly, “I’m going to miss you so
much. Aren’t you going to miss me?”
Kieran
grinned. “When?” She knew very well what Naomi was getting
at, but wanted to make her voice her fears.
“When
school starts. You keep telling me I
need to sleep on campus in my quad, so I can bond with my quad mates, and now
you want me to play sports, plus my studies—I’m never going to be home,” she
complained. “Aren’t you concerned about
that?”
Kieran
leaned over and kissed her cheek. “My
love, you wanted to go to the Academy.
Very few cadets are married when they go. I’m willing to accommodate your experience, even though I’m going
to miss you terribly. This is an
amazing opportunity for you. I don’t
want to hold you back, and I really believe, once you’re in classes and meeting
all species of cadets and you’re submersed in the whole subculture of
Starfleet, you’re going to come home so full of stories and impressions and
love for it all, you won’t miss me one bit.
You can sleep at home on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. If you get homesick, come home on an
occasional Wednesday. But I doubt
you’ll ever be homesick. And I’m going
to have an office right on campus, with regular hours, and you can come by
anytime you like. I promise, if you
aren’t happy doing it this way, we’ll figure out a compromise,” she assured her
young wife. “Trust me, Na, you’re going
to be glad we agreed to this arrangement.
If I thought for a second you’d be unhappy, I wouldn’t suggest any of this.”
Seven
nodded approvingly. “Naomi, your
education is so important,” she emphasized.
“You deserve to expose yourself to new ideas and people, new
experiences. Kieran makes it sound so
exciting, I’m tempted to enroll, myself.”
“Funny you
should mention school, Seven,” Kieran’s eyes danced merrily. “Admiral Brand would like to offer you a
teaching position. Astrometrics,” she
reported. “It’s a small stipend, but
she guarantees me, your classes will be full every semester. Are you interested?”
Seven was
stunned. “She wants me to be an
instructor?”
Kieran
laughed. “Don’t look so surprised, your
Borgness. You know more about
astrometrics than the entire faculty combined.
They’d kill to get you in their clutches.”
“You
should do it, Mom,” Naomi squeezed her Borg enhanced hand. “You need to get out, meet people, broaden
your horizons, too. You just got done
lecturing me to do that very thing,” she reasoned.
Seven
considered. She knew Naomi was having
serious doubts about Kieran’s agenda to immerse the young Ktarian in the
Academy to the exclusion of all else, and Seven knew Kieran was trying to help
Naomi become the person she was truly meant to be, and not just someone’s
wife. She nodded. “If you will agree to Kieran’s suggestions,
Naomi,” she smiled sweetly, “I will teach the courses they want me to teach.”
Naomi scowled
at her mother. “You tricked me, Seven,”
she said flatly.
Seven
fixed her with a mildly amused glare.
“I am Borg. We do not resort to
trickery. We merely assimilate whatever
we want,” she intoned reproachfully.
“However, do we have a deal?” she tipped a wink to Kieran when Naomi
wasn’t looking.
Reluctantly,
Naomi took her hand. “Okay, deal. But like Kieran said, if I’m not happy, we
can renegotiate the terms of my exile from the house,” she said with a pretty
pout.
“Give it a
month, Na, and if you’re truly miserable, we’ll rethink it,” Kieran assuaged
her concerns.
“Okay,”
she decided finally. “I can do this.”
“Good,”
Kieran said, satisfied. She mouthed the
words “thank you” to Seven when Naomi wasn’t looking. “Now let’s go buy a house,” she waved Mike over for the check.
“I need to
make a pit stop first,” Naomi excused herself to the ensuite, leaving Seven and
Kieran to talk alone.
“I think
it is very commendable, what you are trying to do for her,” Seven said, nodding
approval.
“What do
you mean, your Borgness?” Kieran sipped her iced water, a self-assured smile
playing at the corners of her lips.
Seven
feigned a glare. “You know very well what I mean. A less secure person would not encourage their spouse to sleep
away from home, or to explore the world around her so freely,” she asserted.
Kieran
shrugged. “The way I see it, for the past twelve years, Naomi’s universe has
been limited to about 150 people, one ship, one set of rules, and very few
opportunities. Now we’re home, and the universe just got a whole lot bigger for
all of us. When she chose me, Seven, her frame of reference was so miniscule, I
probably seemed like the best person for her.
Now she has hundreds of thousands of options, and if there is one she
thinks is better, I won’t say a word to deter her.”
Seven gave
her a quizzical look. “You would let her walk away?”
“I can’t
stop her, anyway, if that’s what’s supposed to happen, so why put all sorts of
constraints and boundaries on her? Ultimately, she is going to do what she
thinks is right for her, and if I love her, then I will support those
decisions, regardless of how they affect me.” Kieran toyed with her glass. “I
feel like, if she goes out and experiences all the things I had the chance to,
and comes back still wanting me, she comes back a more fulfilled person, one
who had ample choices. Then I’ll know she really, truly wants me. Besides, she
deserves the best of everything, and I want her to be as happy as she can be. I
hope that doesn’t mean losing her, but I’m not naïve. I had this same
conversation with Kathryn a long time ago—back on Voyager. I told her that’s
what it is to love someone with all your heart and soul. To want for them what they want most for
themselves, regardless of the cost to yourself. It is the surrender of control,
plain and simple. ”
“And
Kathryn said?”
Kieran
laughed. “She didn’t say a hell of a lot, as you can imagine. But I think she
listened, because she hasn’t tried to approach you once since you made it clear
you’re not ready. That’s something, don’t you think?”
“Any
progress is worth acknowledging, with her, I believe.” She thought about it some more. “I think you’re very brave,” she
decided.
“Look, I
know the odds aren’t in my favor, truth be told. I love Naomi with all my heart and soul, and nothing would make
me happier than to be with her forever.
But I know I wasn’t ready to be married at her age, not by a long
shot. And you and I both know that if
Naomi hadn’t gotten a death sentence, we wouldn’t have married so soon. I know there’s a very real possibility she
is going to decide she’s too young, or hell, she may just get bored with
me. She knows everything about me,
there are no surprises left, not really.”
Seven
nodded, following her logic. “And at
the Academy, she will meet all sorts of new and interesting people, and they
will seem more exciting.”
Kieran
grinned. “I’m sure they will. Let’s face it, Seven, intellectually, I’m no
match for Naomi. I don’t challenge her
much. And I’m not conceited enough to think
that I can compare to the novelty of all the fascinating people she’ll
meet. I mean, on Voyager, I was a
pretty good catch,” she winked at Seven, “but that was a very small sea. Now Naomi’s got the whole ocean.”
“And
knowing all that, you still risk your heart?” Seven murmured, truly impressed.
“What
choice do I have?” Kieran laughed. “I
am totally enthralled with her, swept away.
If I turned my back on our marriage out of my own fear, I’d never
forgive myself. So I live every minute
with her as if it’s one in a very long lifetime of moments. I don’t get greedy, and I won’t let myself
be possessive. And I hope with all my
strength that when the dust settles, I’m still the woman she wants me to be,
and I’m still worthy of her love.”
Seven
reached across the table, squeezing Kieran’s hand. “I would give anything in this world to be loved that well. I wish Kathryn had been more open to
following your example.”
Kieran
shrugged. “Well, she has grown,
somewhat, I think. She’s letting you
live your life and she’s not trying to influence or control you. Maybe she is learning her lesson, albeit the
hard way. My fear is that by the time
she gets it, you will have closed that door in her face,” she confided.
The Borg
beauty sighed wistfully. “I’m not sure
the door is open, even now. Everything
just seems so—tainted, somehow.”
___________________
Seven of
Nine’s expression remained neutral throughout the tour of the home. Kieran tried to really sell both women on
the place, and Naomi had clearly fallen in love with it, just as Kieran did
when she first saw it. Seven seemed
unimpressed, and Kieran was worried.
“Look,
your Borgness,” she worked over the towering blonde. “This is your room. It’s
huge. Plenty of windows for morning
light to come through, high ceilings for good acoustics when you sing, your own
private ensuite with a Jacuzzi tub, your own fireplace, and a walk in closet as
big as the guest room.”
Seven
surveyed the room dispassionately. “I
would never own enough of anything to fill a closet that size.”
Kieran
grinned. “Yes you do—your alcove will
go in there. No more running back to
Voyager to regenerate,” she tried to entice her. “Besides, they’re finally retiring her to the shipyards for
retrofit, and you know you have to relocate your alcove within the week.
Seven
nodded. “It would fit nicely, and it
makes it discreet.”
“And
speaking of discreet,” Kieran opened a set of French doors on the opposite end
of the room, “these lead out to a balcony with a staircase,” she demonstrated. “You could have lady or gentlemen callers
anytime, and retain your privacy.”
Seven
snorted. “As if that would happen,” she
scoffed.
“You never
know, Seven. There are going to be
offers pouring in once you’re working on campus. Every professor at the Academy will want to go out with you.”
Seven’s
eyes widened. “They will? That sounds—dreadful,” she landed on the
proper word.
Naomi
laughed. “Mom, you’ve got to open your
mind to the possibilities.”
“Oh? Like you did Naomi? You married the first woman you ever felt an
attraction to,” Seven scolded.
“Not
true,” Naomi waggled her eyebrows.
“When Samantha was alive, I had a terrible crush on you,” she grabbed
Seven’s arm and pulled her in close, taunting her. “I married my second
choice,” she said saucily.
Kieran
crossed her arms. “You said I was your
first love,” she protested. “Well, that
toasts it, ladies, we are not living together,” she pretended to be pissed. She slipped an arm around Seven’s
waist. “Come on, Annika,” she cajoled. “Don’t you love this house?”
Seven’s
face broke into a slow, delicious smile.
“I really do. When can we move
in?”
__________________
Kathryn
Janeway sat on the porch swing of the guesthouse, looking out over the fields
of seed corn, which were ready for harvesting.
She returned to her book, though she couldn’t really concentrate. Her mother was busy canning preserves from
the apples they’d picked in the orchard, and Kathryn detested such
domesticity. She had been forced to do
it as a child, and now that she was an adult, she stoutly refused to
participate. The smell of boiling
apples wafted through the afternoon air, hanging fragrantly in the cool
afternoon breeze.
“Reading
anything good?” Kieran asked as she strolled up nonchalantly.
Kathryn
almost fell out of the swing. “You
scared the hell out of me,” she bitched.
“I owe you
a few, Captain,” she retorted. “You
used to do it to me every time I was on your fucking bridge,” she reminded
her. She strode across the distance
between them, pulling Kathryn out of the swing and into a firm hug. “How the hell are you, Kat?” she asked
gruffly, voice muffled in Kathryn’s shoulder.
Kathryn
wasn’t certain which surprised her more, Kieran’s sudden appearance or the hug.
“I’m—getting
by,” she decided to be honest. “How about you?”
They sat
down together on the swing, Kieran’s long legs folding beneath her. “I’m better than ever, thanks. Naomi is all set for school, Seven’s going
to be teaching Astrometrics and I’ve just put together a basketball team that
should beat the shit out of every team on the continent.”
“It’s not
Seven’s week for Geejay—what brings you to Indiana?” she asked mildly.
Kieran
grinned. “I have a proposition for
you.”
Kathryn
smirked. “Haven’t had one of those in a
very long time,” she oozed innuendo.
“I’ve put
together a team of speakers that are going to go to high schools across the
country to talk to kids about Starfleet.
The lectures are going to focus on Voyager, our experiences in the Delta
Quadrant, and the underlying message to these kids is going to be that even
though space is a scary place, and bad things can happen, even the worst
circumstances create opportunities untold,” she explained. “Admiral Brand is thrilled with the PR
possibilities, and then after we talk to the kids, I’m going to try to recruit
the ones Starfleet has targeted.”
“Nice,”
Kathryn nodded. “Your idea?”
“Yeah,”
Kieran admitted. “The Academy needs all
the help it can get.”
“And
having the living legend basketball hero as the star of the show can’t hurt,”
she added sarcastically.
Kieran was
taken aback at her tone. “I guess
that’s one way to look at it.”
“So you’re
going to sell your name to attract the cream of the crop,” she noted.
Kieran
shrugged. “Kids need role models. I’m willing to put that out there for them.”
“Ah, I
see,” Kathryn sounded disgusted.
“Anyway,”
Kieran decided to ignore the Captain’s cynical tone, “I told Seven that our
first speaker’s bureau includes you, and I want you both to come on the trip.”
Kathryn smirked
again. “You lied to her?”
“It’s only
a lie if you say no, Kathryn,” Kieran pointed out.
“Why would
I have any desire to go talk to teenagers?” she scowled.
“Because—oh,
hell, I don’t know, because you were one, once? Because not every kid gets to be raised by an Admiral? How about because you’re going to be
raising one, some day? Why wouldn’t you
want to talk to teenagers?”
Kathryn
sniffed, closing her book. “I just
wouldn’t, that’s all.”
“How about
this angle, then. It’s the only chance in
hell you’ve got of building any bridges back to your wife,” she offered. “You think about what I’m offering you,
Captain. While you’re sitting here
reading meaningless romance novels and avoiding your life, you could be working
to earn back Seven’s trust. But hell,
don’t let me waste your valuable time.
When your leave is over, I guess you can take your new ship and warp the
fuck out of here, and leave Seven and Geejay with Naomi and I,” she was pissed
now. “But you’d better think carefully,
Kathryn. Once Seven starts teaching,
she is going to be inundated with dates.
And you will have lost the one slim chance you’ve got to win her
back. She’s worth the effort, God damn
it. That’s why you should have a desire
to talk to teenagers.”
Kieran
launched herself out of the swing, striding purposefully across the lawn. “I’m
going to say hello to your mother,” she stormed through the back door.
Gretchen
Janeway smiled at the tall Commander as she blew threw the screen door. “I told you she’d get her head up her ass,
Kieran,” she reminded her. “Doesn’t she
just frost your cookies?”
Kieran
slammed her hand on the counter. “God,
she makes me crazy,” she yelled.
“Sorry, Gretchen, but how in the bleeding hell did a perfectly nice
person like you raise a pain in the ass like her?”
Gretchen
chuckled. “If you’d met Edward, you’d
understand,” she patted Kieran’s hand.
“Here, honey,” she pushed a jar of fresh apple jelly in Kieran’s
direction. “Try some of this on my
banana loaf,” she cut a thick slice and gave it to Kieran. “You’ll forget about Queen Kathryn in a bite
or two.”
Kieran
spread the jelly thick, thinking she needed all the soothing she could
get. “She accused me of whoring my name
to promote the Academy,” she fumed.
“She did?”
Gretchen was stunned.
“Not in so
many words, but that was the gist of it.”
Gretchen
shook her head. “I think, for all her
good intentions, she just doesn’t know when to give in. She’s going to lose Seven for good, and even
though she knows it, she can’t make herself stop being hardheaded.” She smiled warmly at her
granddaughter-in-law. “Why do you even
bother, honey?”
“Good
question,” Kieran admitted. “You’re
right, this is delicious,” she noted, helping herself to another slice. “I guess because even though she’s a horse’s
ass, I still love her.”
“Funny
thing, love. Makes you act a fool,
makes you suffer a fool.”
“Work on
her, will you? I’ve done everything I
can,” Kieran said sadly.
“I’ll try,
but she listens less to me than to her damned dog,” she chuckled.
Kieran
grinned. “Maybe I’ll have a talk with
the dog, then,” she joked. “At least
the dog has some common sense.”
______________
“That’s
the last one,” Kieran Wildman grunted as she deposited the final box on the
floor of Seven of Nine’s room. “Man,
Seven,” she wiped her forehead, “did you take the hull plating off the ship,
too?”
Seven
smirked at her roommate. “I believe
this is an appropriate juncture to call you a smart-ass,” she noted dryly.
“Do you
need help unpacking it all?” Kieran surveyed the room, filled with boxes and
cargo containers.
Seven
sighed. “No, but I would appreciate it
if you would assemble Geejay’s bed. In
the time it takes you to perform that meager task, I should be able to
completely unpack,” she decided.
Kieran’s eyebrows
shot skyward. “Are you saying I’m
mechanically inept, inefficient, or both, your Borgness?”
Seven
chuckled. “Both,” she decided.
Kieran
crossed her arms, glaring at the Borg.
“I’m having second thoughts about subjecting myself to constant abuse by
living with you,” she groused.
“I am
Borg,” she stated for the record. “We
do not abuse. We merely state facts.”
Kieran
flipped her off as she left the room.
“Here’s a fact for you,” she called over her shoulder.
Seven
laughed out loud. “Don’t go away mad,
Kieran,” she hollered down the hall.
“Just go away.”
Naomi
Wildman came thundering up the stairs, fresh from moving a load of things to
her quad. “Are you two still
bantering?” she fixed her mother with a reproachful glare.
“Us?”
Seven feigned indignance. “We are
nothing but respectful of each other,” she contended. She kissed Naomi’s cheek.
“How does it look over at the quad?”
Naomi
shrugged. “I met my quad mates. They seem nice enough. They were a little intimidated by my history,
though, I think. They asked a lot of
questions about Voyager. Of course,
they all want to meet you,” she squeezed her mother’s arm. “You’re a legend, Mom.”
Seven
hugged her daughter. “I will help you
take some of your belongings over one night this week, and you can introduce me
to them all. But if they insist upon
calling me a legend, I will assimilate them.
Legends are old people. I am
physiologically barely older than you,” she pointed out.
Kieran
stuck her head in the door, watching the pair interacting, a soft expression on
her face.
Naomi
spied her out of the corner of one eye.
“Hi, honey,” she smiled. “What’s
that look for?”
Kieran
swallowed her sentimental reaction. “I
love you both, that’s all,” she smiled at her wife, coming over to hug them
both.
The three
women hugged one another, conscious of how much their lives were about to
change.
Naomi
kissed Kieran’s cheek, tousling her spiky hair. “Okay, I’m going back to campus, before I lose my nerve and beg
you to let me stay home,” she bit her lip.
Kieran
held her possessively for a moment, eyes closing against the immediate sense of
loss. “You’re going to be great,
Na. We all will. We’ve been each other’s strength, the three
of us, ever since Qian. Nothing will
change that. Will it, Seven?”
“Nothing,”
Seven confirmed. “In fact, I think we
should walk Naomi to her quad, and say our goodbyes there.”
Naomi
looked hopefully at her spouse. “Would
you?”
Kieran
smiled warmly. “Of course we will. Do you have everything you need, sweetie?”
Naomi
looked at her mother and her wife, taking each woman’s hand. “I do.
Right here,” she assured herself.
Phoebe
Janeway ambled up the driveway of her mother’s home, fresh from her art studio,
hands stained with paint and turpentine, hair flying in the breeze. Kathryn Janeway looked up from her latest
romance novel, amused at her sister’s disheveled appearance.
“Rough
morning, Picasso?” Kathryn asked sardonically.
“Great
morning, is more like it,” Phoebe shot back.
“I haven’t been this productive in years,” she flopped down on the porch
swing beside the elder Janeway.
“Then why
are you here?” Kathryn asked, setting her book aside.
“Mother
invited me to lunch. I suspect she
wants me to kick your ass,” Phoebe replied, gazing across the recently
harvested fields.
“That’ll
be the day,” the auburn-haired woman snorted.
“But humor me. Why would you
need to kick my ass?”
Phoebe
sighed. “Look at yourself,
Kathryn. You’ve hardly budged from this
porch in the past two months. You’re
almost as bad as you were when Justin and Daddy died, and I had to drag you out
of bed forcibly. I know you’re hurting
over Seven moving in with Kieran and Naomi, but you can’t just shut down,” she
lectured.
“I am not
shutting down. I am on leave, and I’m
enjoying my time off. I see nothing
wrong with reading and relaxing, after over twelve years of constant strain and
stress. I deserve a vacation.”
“You need
to get on with your life,” Phoebe argued.
“Everyone from your ship has moved on to new jobs, new assignments,
school—except you.”
“I’m sure
when the time is right, Starfleet will offer me another ship. Until then, what would you have me do?” her
eyes were icy, her tone warning.
“Have you
tried talking to your wife?” she retorted.
“I am not
about to take marital advice from someone who has never been married. But let’s talk about that, shall we? Exactly why haven’t you ever settled down?”
Kathryn asked angrily.
“I could
have,” Phoebe replied. “But the only
man I ever really wanted to marry just wouldn’t have been an appropriate
choice.”
Kathryn
snorted. “Why? Was he some bongo player in a French coffee
house? Some down-on-his-luck sculptor
or painter or musician?”
Phoebe’s
expression hardened. “No. He was your ex-fiancée.”
Kathryn’s
face completely drained of color.
“Mark? You were involved with
Mark Johnson?”
“Of course
not,” she insisted petulantly. “Though
we both wanted to be, we couldn’t get over feeling bad about you. Even when we were sure you were dead, we
didn’t venture into anything. But the
love was certainly there.”
Kathryn
shook her head. “Then why not seek him
out now?”
“He’s
married to someone else,” Phoebe shrugged.
“And they’re happy. So don’t
lecture me about relationships, Kathryn.
If I had the good fortune to find someone as wonderful as Seven, I
certainly wouldn’t ever let her get away.”
“There’s a
big difference between letting someone get away and driving them away. Seven
has too much intellect to come back to me, after everything that’s happened.” Kathryn book-marked her novel and stood
up. “I appreciate your concern, but I
don’t think there’s anything I could ever say to Seven that would make her
forgive me. I can blame my behavior on
that damned bacteria until I’m blue in the face, and it won’t make a bit of
difference. I hit her, Phoebe, I abused
her. I treated her like a worthless
drone. And I said hurtful, awful things
to her. I accused her of sleeping with
Naomi’s wife, for God’s sake. Even
worse, when Naomi was dying, I let Kieran be the one to comfort and assist
Seven, I let Kieran be the mother, the spouse, the equal partner, while I was
busy being the Captain. I have seen
that accusation in Seven’s eyes for over two years, every time I look at
her. I am not going to live with that
staring me in the face for the rest of my life. I love you, Phoebe, but you really need to mind your own
business.” She banged through the
screen door, tossed her book on the coffee table, and went to the kitchen,
ready for lunch.
I had
lives to save. I had a ship to
run. I had responsibilities. I didn’t have time to hold Seven’s hand, to
coddle her while Naomi was deteriorating. Kathryn
studied the empty place settings, thoughts troubled. I made my choices, and now I will suffer their consequences.
Gretchen Janeway came in from the pantry, bringing a fresh jar of preserves. “Sit down, honey, lunch is ready,” she offered. “What’s got your face all twisted up?”
Kathryn
scooted out her chair. “Just thinking
about family, Mom.”
Family.
Gretchen
lay her hand on Kathryn’s shoulder.
“It’s a difficult thing, being in command and having a family,” she
noted wisely. “Your father struggled
mightily with it. After he made
Admiral, he told me that he regretted how much his command had taken him away
from you girls, and from me.”
Kathryn
swallowed hard. “Mom, I have to tell
you something. I’ve been carrying it
around for a long time, and you need to know.”
“Know
what, sugar?” Gretchen set lunch out on the table, then hollered for Phoebe.
Phoebe
joined them at the table, just as Kathryn began to explain.
“Daddy and
Justin—Mom,” she hid her face in her hands.
“I’m the reason they died.”
Gretchen
eased Kathryn’s hands from her face.
“You are not the reason they died,” she argued. “You couldn’t save them both, Kathryn, but
you’re stubborn and you tried. No one
could have chosen one or the other, not in those circumstances,” she assured
her miserable daughter.
“You knew
about that? How could you know, if I
didn’t?” Kathryn demanded.
“Honey,
the classified report had all the facts in it.
Owen Paris showed it to me, after Voyager was lost and we thought you
were dead. It helped me understand a
lot of things about you—about who you are.
I suppose, like your father would have, you’ve blamed yourself all these
years?” she asked gently.
“I
couldn’t decide, and my indecision killed Daddy,” Kathryn nodded, eyes filling
with tears.
Phoebe
studied her sister, nodding. “Kathryn,
if I were in the same situation, and I had to choose between you and Mom, I
couldn’t, either,” she tried to console her.
“I’m a
Starfleet officer, damn it. I am
supposed to make life and death decisions in an instant,” Kathryn argued.
“You were
a young woman, very much in love, and facing the death of your lover, or the
death of your father, who was your hero.
Of course you hesitated. No one
should have to make decisions like that.
No one. Kathryn, I love you, and
I know you did your best,” Gretchen insisted.
She sighed. “Just like you did
your best with Seven, in spite of the bacteria you were infected with. This time, honey, don’t spend half of your
life blaming yourself for your actions.
Do something about them. Go to
her. Tell her you love her. Don’t let your guilt and your shame stop you
from doing what you need to do to be happy.”
Kathryn
considered, wiping her tears with her napkin.
“Daddy really told you he regretted taking command?”
“No—he
didn’t regret taking command. He
regretted how it impacted us as a family.
But being in command, that’s just who he was. And it’s who you are, Kathryn.
The question is whether you are going to let it destroy your family, or
make it stronger.”
“I’d have to salvage it, before I can think about making it stronger,” she sighed.
“Then salvage it,”
Phoebe urged her. “You have to
try. The longer you sit and fiddle with
the controls, the further the ship sinks in the ocean,” she pointed out. “Just like on Tau Ceti.”